womanwarrior007

New Blog Home

2010-12-22T00:57:00.000-05:00

Due to some technical difficulties, I have moved my blog to a new home. Please visit me! :

http://goof.sdf.org/womanwarrior007/

Why Does the World Dislike Women So Much?

2010-10-10T14:53:00.002-04:00

Misogyny: the hatred of women.

The word sounds as twisted as its definition.

Mi-soj-uh-nee.

It took me a long time to learn how to pronounce that word.

And it has taken me even longer to realize how pervasive misogyny is throughout the world. From ancient times to today.

The Greek philospher, Aristotle, wrote that a female is an incomplete male, or "as it were, a deformity."

Through my research, writing, and editing for Safe World for Women, a global women’s rights and advocacy organization which campaigns for the rights of women and girls, I find endless evidence of abuses and injustices against women and girls.

Why?

Why is there such a strong tradition of preferring sons over daughters in many parts of the world? Many researchers in the field of gender discrimination would tell you it's economic: that sons usually are the breadwinners and thus, care-takers of their parents in old-age. That daughters are considered an economic burden by their families.

Or that sons are needed to carry on the family name and are the rightful offspring who deserve to inherit property and finances.

That may be true, in practical terms. But is there a deeper reason for such gender discrimination? It's easy to say economics is the reason.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty: people still do not like or trust women. They may even hate women.

Enough to kill them if the women's families can't fulfill their greedy desires for more dowry, sometimes within days of their wedding. Enough to drive them to commit suicide because the women would rather die than live with daily abuse...because they did not produce a son. Or enough because a daughter was raped, and has thus brought dishonor to the family, so a male member of the family must get rid of her.

Or simply, that they are women.

It doesn't matter what socio-economic background women come from--all are vulnerable. In fact, if women come from affluent backgrounds in some heavily male-preference societies like India, China, and South Korea, the access to technology to determine sex of the fetus can cause more abuse for women.

Pressure to abort female fetuses, denial of medical care or help if the mother chooses to maintain her pregnancy, verbal and physical abuse. No regard for the woman, not least of all her reproductive health.

Verbal and physical abuse.

Hatred manifested.

Toward women.

Why women?

Misogyny?

Or just because we are easy targets: usually physically smaller, and often with fewer resources?

Nearly everyday I read stories about horrible abuse of women: 20-40,000 girls trafficked from Nigeria to Mali; women with their children fleeing for their lives from Somalia--often losing their children, their dignity, or their heads, for "disobeying" the warlord of the day; women and girls from Mexico forced into prostitution--in the United States; thousands of women raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo for more than a decade to the present day.

And no one is stopping this unmitigated hate.

We have international laws, national laws, and state laws which have been put on the books with good intentions. Countless NGO's that work tirelessly to bring relief and hope to those dispossessed and robbed of their dignity.

And yet women are still maltreated in every corner of the world: China, India, Somalia, Mexico. The United States.

What? The USA?

Yes. How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when there is sex trafficking of American teens nationwide, when three women a day die from domestic abuse, when a woman is raped every 90 seconds, when female political candidates of every stripe are crucified and mocked for the most trivial details?

How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when women's reproductive health rights are constantly attacked by those who wish to control them through public policy--or within the medical community, via excess C-sections and unnecessary castrations (hysterectomies) for non life-threatening conditions.

You can give all the excuses in the world for the widespread maltreatment of half of humanity: economic necessity, medical expertise, cultural traditions, war-induced post-traumatic stress syndrome, drug and alcohol abuse...there's probably a bit of truth in all of them.

But dig a little deeper.

Why does the world dislike women so much?

Misogyny is the hatred of women. Hatred is rooted in ignorance.
That is not someplace I ever want to be rooted in.

My heart literally aches when I hear of ANY kind of abuse toward ANY woman or group of women, anywhere in the world.

Ignorance is not bliss when one in three women worldwide experience violence at some point in their lives. When unmitigated hatred runs rampant and steals the dignity and lives of millions of women.

Why should you care?

Because I am speaking of half of humanity. Hatred is a scary and dark emotion that spreads like wildfire, left unchecked.

In the west, we can more easily speak up and call out offenders when they degrade women, or bring them to justice if they have harmed or killed women.

In other parts of the world, where women have many fewer rights due to cultural traditions, despite laws being on the books, I feel that those of us who live in much more fortunate circumstances and who are able and willing to do so, must advocate and raise awareness on their behalf.

And keep on working until justice has been won.

Which may not happen in our lifetimes.

But it is worth fighting for.

I don't want hate and darkness in the world. I want love and lightness.

Call that corny if you will, but I am going to stand up for women's rights and well-being to my last breath.

I am not interested in cutting women down to anything less than the human beings we are.

I am interested in making misogyny a thing of the past.

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa

Alien Invasion...of Hives! %-0

2010-08-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

One week of steroids and I'm still breaking out in hives...! :-(

I do wonder what Methylprednisolone did to me besides alleviate my initial massive outbreak on the 24th of July, and calm my hives (I'm thinking so) for the rest of the week. It certainly didn't eliminate them completely.

Hives are icky welts. They look like mosquito bites. They itch like hell...only worse: they burn and sting. I don't even have to look at my body to know that I've had a flare up. The smallest, pencil eraser-sized welt can be the most piercing, stinging welt of all.

I have no clue what brought it on. Absolutely none. Could be food allergies. Or mosquito bites, which is what I thought I had to begin with: one "bite" turned into 18+ welts within minutes. Sweat, exercise, sensitivity to extreme temperatures (it has been hot!), anything could bring on hives. If it lasts up to six weeks, the hives are considered acute, and probably due to allergies or some irritant. If longer than six weeks (heaven forbid), it could be more serious, like an auto-immune disorder. Or no clear answer at all (idiopathic).

Just like with mosquito bites, I feel like my body is a party host to...alien invaders! %-(

These things appear, disappear, reappear in seconds, minutes or hours. Anywhere on (my) body. And leaves no trace of its existence! Like something out of a sci-fi thriller. Can't tell that there was an angry, burning, welt there for hours at all. Like my right ham being seemingly a favorite place for mosquitos, my upper right arm is the place that the hives appear most often. What IS it about the right side of my body?!

Sometimes the burning, stinging itch is SO overwhelming, I feel momentarily paralyzed because the sensation is so powerful. If you read my previous posts, you will know I have about zero tolerance for itching! :-(

I've spent hours researching this, giving myself a refresher biology lesson on cell biology: basophils, mast cells And histamines--the cause of my hives. Very interesting! I like to understand what's going on, even if I have to read something a half dozen times to get a clue!

I've read all about remedies, what doctors do (not much except to prescribe dope with potentially scary side-effects), and read a few message boards from people who have suffered from hives for months or years, with little help from their sometimes numerous health care providers to try to find answers.

I HATE taking dope! Just reading the insert to the Methylpredisolone (aka Medrol) box is somewhat intimidating:

Glucocorticoids are adrenalcoritical steroids, both naturally occurring and synthetic, which are readily absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract.

I had to look up a few terms! %-0

Adrenals (glands): are pair of complex endocrine glands situated near the kidney

Adrenal corticol steroids: group of steroid hormones is produced by the adrenal glands and acts as anti-inflammatory agents.

Steroids: A steroid is a type of organic compound that contains a specific arrangement of four rings that are joined to each other.

And then:

Glucoscorticoids cause profound and varied metabolic effects. In addition, they modify the body's immune response to diverse stimuli.

THEN under "Indications and Usage", it goes on to list a variety of diseases and disorders that it can be used for: endocrine disorders, rheumatic disorders, collagen disorders, dermatologic diseases, allergic states, opthamalic diseases, respiratory diseases, hematologic diseases, neoplastic diseases, edematous diseases, gastrointestinal diseases, nervous system, and "miscellaneous".

Under none of these categories did I see urticaria (medical term for hives) listed!! Are you blankety-blank kidding me?!

Rather than strain my myopic eyeballs to read the rest of the insert--and perhaps because I'm too lazy and vain to bring out my never-used reading glasses, I looked at the Wikipedia entry for Methylpredisolone and scrolled down to side-effects:

Methylprednisolone has some serious side effects if taken long-term, including weight gain, glaucoma, osteoporosis and psychosis, especially when used at high dosage. The most serious side effect occurs after the adrenal glands cease natural production of cortisol, which methylprednisolone will replace. Abrupt cessation of the drug after this occurs can result in a condition known as Addisonian crisis, which can be fatal. To prevent this, the drug is usually prescribed with a tapering dosage, including a pre-dosed "dose pack" detailing a specific number of pills to take at designated times over a few-day period.

Isn't that lovely?

In addition, it has an unpleasant, bitter aftertaste to it, despite my efforts to drown it out with lots of liquid. Yech!

Well, I took it in a low-dose. But even reading on message boards about some people getting osteoporosis in just a few years or less from constant use of this sort of drug at higher dosages--that was quite unsettling to know.

I am hoping this is only some freak incident. Yet another brief obstacle of my many ailments I've gotten in my lifetime (my mother can attest to this fact!).

I would much rather go the natural route: take more vitamin and mineral supplements like zinc, which has been supposedly been shown in laboratory studies to inhibit the release of histamines in basophils and mast cells. And high doses of vitamin C, known to be a kind of natural anti-histamine (but will take only until this is over with). Better than getting constantly knocked out by Benadryl! Been there, done that--each May, when I have my allergies.

In the meantime, I have to play detective and try to find out what brought this alien invasion of hives upon my person. I suppose I should feel grateful that most of it is restricted to one area, my upper right arm, on the underside. At least it's not all over my trunk, as it was Saturday before last. That was very freaky. And certainly no fun to be burning, stinging, itching ALL over, especially near my privates.

I ate a neighbor's crabcake and some kind of "crab pizza" that night. I don't know if that was the cause or not. Or if it's because I'd been eating a lot of fresh, sliced tomatoes almost every night. Tomatoes and shellfish are often listed as foods that people have an allergy to. So I'm laying off those for a while.

Certainly, I don't want to have to resort to drugs again, though I admit the steroid shot I got at the walk-in med clinic cleared everything up right away--temporarily! But it IS scary to read how many people rely on them, swearing that steroids are the ONLY thing that completely relieves them of hives. I can't imagine how some have endured this condition for years...many years. :-(

Is there a "hive angel" out there, anyone?! This crap tends to flare up more at night, for me. I guess I'm just a sensitive gal, literally and figuratively!

If a spaceship of alien invaders ever arrives here on earth, and I am missing...you'll know why! %-0

From the film "Alien" (1979):
"You still don't know what you're dealing with do you? Perfect
organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility
[...] I admire its purity, a survivor; unclouded by conscience,
remorse or delusions of morality." - Ash

Why Are You Doing This?

2010-07-20T15:56:00.007-04:00

Human being:

Noun

S: (n) homo, man, human being, human (any living or extinct member of the family Hominidae characterized by superior intelligence, articulate speech, and erect carriage)

~http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=humanbeing

Sometimes when I am on a roll making my name public on petitions for causes that mean something to me, a small voice in the back of my mind asks myself (!): why are you doing this?

That's what slipped in my mind today.

What was I doing today? I was on a roll giving my support to women's causes. Specifically, petitions to my House and Senate reps to support CEDAW - the United Nations' Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. Though President Jimmy Carter signed on to the treaty in 1980, it has yet to be ratified by the US Congress.

There was an article on this a few days ago: Women's Rights Treaty Going Nowhere Fast in Senate. According to the article, and related sources:

"Among U.N. member states 186 countries have ratified CEDAW. The United States remains one of only seven that have not. The other six are Iran, Sudan, Somalia, Nauru, Palau and Tonga.

CEDAW is the only international human rights treaty that specifically affirms women's reproductive rights.

It also requires countries to uphold women's rights in political representation, divorce, domestic violence and other areas that can stoke the ire of social conservatives."

Women's rights advocates (I like to think of myself as one!) would like to see this passed. Right-wing politicians and conservative groups would like to see it fade into oblivion, for various reasons. One being the uncomfortable notion of having to answer to another governing body.

So, there may be some flaws to this, practically, and/or theoretically. And in fact, some countries have ratified CEDAW with reservations and objections.

For me, personally, I hope to see it ratified. What boils my blood is when I keep hearing about certain individuals in Congress who continually vote against anything recognizing the value of women.

What are we?

Half of humanity.

Who do these people think they are to scoff at women's reproductive health rights? To vote against laws that would help ensure measures to protect our individual freedom, dignity, and control over our own health by holding governments accountable? To vote against policies that would provide services to fight against and prevent violence against women, such as shelters for battered women?

Do these seemingly anti-women rights legislators, socially conservative groups like Concerned Women for America, and some talk-show hosts really have such a low, narrow view of women? Half of humanity?

What are they thinking? Do they want to keep us in our place, keep popping out puppies? Keep being a carrier/baby vessel, mother to the man's offspring, and sex slave as our only purpose on earth? I'm not just saying those things off the top of my head; it's what I've heard some relatives, friends quoting their relatives, and people in the conservative political realm, over the years. :-(

They want to keep me in my place?

I think NOT! ;-(

For those who have a limited view of women, they can keep those beliefs. Say what you want. Just don't try to shove it down my throat and attempt to make me feel inferior because I don't agree!

What is my answer to my own question, "Why are you doing this?"

Because I believe women are human beings.

Someone of a differing view from mine might say, "Well, of course they are!"

To which I would reply, "How can you say that when you add all the 'buts': but they should keep their place! but abortion has nothing to do with women's health care! but girls and women shouldn't dress provocatively; if they do, they were asking for 'it', etc.?"

I believe women are human beings who deserve to be treated with respect as any man would be, and deserve every opportunity to reach their full potential as any man would be expected to. Women deserve to live free of violence. They ought not to be subjected to superficial societal, traditional, or cultural rules of conduct unless THEY CHOOSE TO.

That's what I believe in my heart.

I will continue to put much of my energies into advocating for women's rights. For their well-being. And if someone suggests to write to a person in authority in order to bring awareness to a situation, then I will. As I did today, writing to Senator John Kerry, Chair of Senate Foreign Relations Committee, re: CEDAW.

Another petition I added my name to: Amnesty International's request to members of Congress to support the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA).

I add my voice to humanitarian, environmental, and other issues that inflame my sensibilities, too, but my heart is mostly devoted to women. :-)

If ever I get a response, which I often do from my representatives, hubby will tease: "You mean you got a letter from a staff member of a staff member?" ;-) Yes, I know they're quite automated, but at least someone in their office is paying a little bit of attention to my badgering! My online activism isn't for nothing.

I will forever save Vice President Joe Biden's letter to me, written when he was still Senator of Delaware, after writing to him four months in a row. Yes, it looked automated, but what the heck? It came from his Washington D.C. office!

I will stick up for women's rights until my last breath, and for any private person, public figure, or group, who has the guts to stand up for the rights of women worldwide. Which of course, includes the USA.

When we have three women dying each day from the hands of their husbands, boyfriend, or former partners in the United States, there is something terribly wrong about our society's attitude toward women. When we still have one in every three women, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes, there is still a lot of work to do to.

In some small way, I want to contribute my time, effort, and skills towards eliminating the violence and discrimination that hinders the well-being of my sisters worldwide. Yes, even those with whom I disagree! (those last words were not easy to write!) With every fiber of my being, to the best of my ability. To my last breath!

I feel very blessed and fortunate to have found the opportunity to use my long-buried journalism skills (!) and apply them in advancing my passion of women's and human rights through SafeWorld. That I have made such wonderfully awesome friends from working with SW speaks to the power of written communication, the marvel of modern technology, and desire and will to create a more just and safer world for women. A safe world for women is a safe world for everyone!

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. ~Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986), French writer, existentialist philospher; The Second Sex, 1949

Party Host to Bloodsuckers

2010-06-29T10:54:00.006-04:00

Maybe I've watched too many horror flicks, but sometimes I feel like my body is a party host for mosquitoes. Bloodsuckers.

I've always gotten bit a lot every summer, but this year...phew! %-0 It seems like they are merciless, both in terms of biting and itching. I don't tolerate itch at all. I think I have a fairly high pain threshold, but definitely, I do not possess any itch threshold whatsoever.

Two weekends in this month of June already have been sleepless for me. Or rather, interrupted. Because of intense itching. Yes, I know you're not supposed to scratch bites! But even though I've put stuff on them before I go to bed, it's useless. I often wake up in the middle of the night.

I've spent too much time researching how to treat and avoid mosquitoes...but they still find ME! I've experimented with alchol (my mom's favorite remedy for almost everything that ails you), wintergreen alcohol (smells better!), witch hazel, Listerine, and vinegar--both regular and apple cider (also smells better!). Vinegar was actually helpful, for my bites.

None but Tiger Balm let me sleep without me waking up in the middle of the night (sometimes several times) scratching my bite, because the itch was ferociously intense. It drove me mad and made me mad, that itching! %-( Last week I went five days straight suffering interrupted sleep...and MY sleep is VERY important to ME!! I LOVE MY SLEEP! If I don't get my sleep, I'm prone to changing personality! ;-0

One night last week, I found my Tiger Balm, which I hadn't used for a couple years since I last injured my ankle while running to catch a bus and tripping over myself in a groove in the ground. I thought about Vicks VapoRub, too. Same idea as Tiger Balm: menthol and camphor taking the itch away. But since it was 3 a.m., and I was frustrated and in zombie-mode...I found my Tiger Balm first. :-)

I put it on my 13+ bites on my limbs, and felt an instant cooling effect! Whew! SLEEP!

There must be something about the back of my right thigh. My ham. Must be real tasty to the mosquitoes: I've had the most bites there--having six at one time at one point. And the ones there are THE itchiest by far. What gives? The itch lasts for several days. SO itchy it stings all day. When I get a bite there, the irritation spreads far...so far that there's a huge pink circle that spreads the width of my ham.

On Father's Day evening, I walked around at dusk (prime time for bloodsuckers!) and got a dozen bites in about 10 minutes. Had to go into the swimming pool to cool the bites off...my poor leggies (almost all on the right leg) literally felt like they were on fire! %-0

So I guess I must be very sensitive to mosquitoes. And as we are now living in the sticks and next to a river with lots of woods, there are TONS of different creatures out here, some of which my rural in-laws have not encountered, or with such magnitude, in their lifetimes! I'm sure it's not just mosquitoes biting me, as not all my bites look alike. Flies bite, too. As do gnats...and don't even mention ticks! %-0

People try to humor me and say I have sweet blood! Hubby says the insects are tired of him...they want tasty stuff: Chinese food (me)!

I've been trying to consume more garlic. Bloosuckers hate garlic. I LOVE garlic! Are these things vampires in disguise? With all my bites, I sometimes think I will turn into one! That WOULD be rather morbid, wouldn't it? But maybe, a little fun, if only to bare my bloody fangs! Hahaha! Especially to people who incite fear, hatred, and violence. ;-)

If I had $ for every bite I've gotten in my life, I think I'd be rolling in green by now! %-0 And since I will likely get countless more, I would really be in the green when I'm an old lady...! And I ought to get a bonus for the one yellowjacket sting I got on my neck a few years ago: THAT really hurt! (so much for high pain threshold!). I hope never to get stung by one of those things ever again.

Pardon me for sounding vain here, but my right ham looks like a scarred battleground now. As if it were diseased. The bite marks will fade away...but not quick enough. I think the bloodsuckers see the bite marks and think:

"Hey, hey, HEY! Look at all those bites on that lady's ham! Must be some good eatin' there! Drinks are on the host! Par-tee time! Let's go!" %-)

Or am I giving them too much credit? What else am I to think when only one leg gets the majority of bites? They concentrate their most lethal poison saliva there. Will my body ever build up resistance to them?

I've never been the party girl type. I hope I'm not being punished by the God of Social Butterflies in possessing a body that is host to insects that feel free to party and feast on my blood! %-0

Meanwhile, let me publicly thank the late Aw Boon Haw for perfecting his father's concoction along with his brother, for the product known worldwide today as Tiger Balm. Doh jeh!

* * *

p.s. (unrelated)
Dearest G:

We cannot believe it's been a year ago today that you've been gone from our lives. From so many lives you touched. We miss you sorely. You were the ultimate friend! We love you. xox

p.s.s. Tiger Balm, Aw Boon Haw, and G are hyperlinked...but I haven't figured out how to make it show yet on the new template formatting...! %-) I italicized them, though!

Babycakes

2010-05-18T23:34:00.000-04:00

My Babycakes.

oof...how mushy! %-0

Many people like to brag about their children for various reasons. Ace in school. Top dog on the soccer team. First chair violinist in the school orchestra. Little Einstein. Future president. Future American Idol contestant. You name it.

I like to yak about my child, too. My four-legged child. :-)

He's not really mine: he belongs to my father in-law. But hubby and I care for him mostly, especially during the weekdays. So it is almost like having a kid, I imagine.

You have to feed him, make sure he has plenty of water to drink, make sure he has plenty of playtime, take care of him if he gets sick, and make sure he has plenty of tender loving care.

He's great: he doesn't talk back! No lip from S. Only looks. Poor, pitiful me looks. Or, I'm so happy I could lick you all over looks! Or, you have betrayed me looks.

I talked about S in my last post. And I don't usually repeat a subject twice in row. But this guy: I can't help it! :-)

He is incredibly gentle, sensitive, and sweet, even though he is often stinky, from swimming in the river or rolling in the garden fresh from being fertilized with chicken shit, or very rarely, rolled in dead meat...literally. Eww! Some sort of evolutionary mechanism I'd rather not know about...!

S is the most loving, four-legged creature I know. Which is to say, the only four-legged creature I know personally, if can indeed put it that way. He's a lover dog, not a fighter dog, which suits me perfectly. I love love, and love to be loved! ;-D

S is a people dog. He loves company. And he really loves kids--though most times they don't always love this big, dark caramel colored (some say, chocolate) Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He's probably 80 lbs, more or less. He really, reeeeeaaally does not like to be left alone.

One night last week, he apparently got tired of hubby and me going back and forth between the kitchen and living room to watch the tube while we were eating dinner. Right when I was ready to get up to get seconds, S got up on the couch and plopped himself down, with his forelegs and huge paws that I love so much sprawled across my lap, and his head, leaning against me. He looked up at me as if to say, "How can you possibly resist ME? I love you!" %-D

Well, how could I? I couldn't. I asked hubby to please bring me a second helping of sauteed Chinese cabbage (with garlic). Yum! And I ate it right in front of S, with his longing, searching eyes fixed on me, and telling him, "You ought not to think I'm being cruel to eat in front of you like this, because you've trapped me!"

It's hard to describe just how loving S is; he just loves EVERYBODY. Including strangers! That's not good guard dog material! ;-)

Actually, he's got a fearsome growl, so, better not take him for granted! Chesapeakes are one of the most loyal, possessive breeds out there, so no one better mess with his owner or his family!! We've already tested him out at home.

He's very sensitive, too. The last couple of days, hubby and I have had to put eye drops in his eyes, again, for an eye infection. It's a battle. I'm sure any dog owner knows this already, but our S sure hates it, despite all the petting and cooing we do to calm him down. We put drops in 3x today. And tonight, he showed his resentment towards us quite clearly. Though we tried to give him our assurances of love --with a treat thrown in, he probably felt betrayed! He was unresponsive toward our entreaties of affection. Didn't want to play at all. :-(

I hope he'll forgive us soon! ;-0

Now I know why people love their pets so much. I used to think they were crazy to have such love and compassion for a non-human! I must be one of those crazies, today! I still think that humans come first on the food chain...but that does not lessen my love for S in any way.

He's my buddy. My goof partner. The one who puts things into perspective in an instant when things seem gloomy. My sweet, stinky friend who leaves hair balls and dirty pawprints on my floor. The one who greets me every morning with a happy face. Who wants to kiss me all over when I'm going through my yoga routine each morning. My four-legged child who doesn't want me to leave him at night.

He's my guy.

After hubby, that is! ;-)

Woof woof!!

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner (1946-1989), American comedienne and actress

I Wish This Dog Could Talk (clean my floor, wash my dishes, read a book, etc!)

2010-03-21T14:00:00.000-04:00

I LOVE my father in-law's Chesapeake Bay Retriever, S. If he could talk, I'm sure he'd remind me that I've been neglecting my blog.

S is a gentle soul. Goofiest being I ever met! I never in my life imagined I'd be so attached to a four-legged creature as I have become to him. He's my buddy. He's the live Snoopy I have adored all my life (in the Peanuts cartoon strip)! :-)

I can be annoyed with him, and he will forgive me. Present-tense animal: he's not likely to remember what happened 10 hours ago (I don't think!).

He's sensitive, like me. If anyone hollers at him that he's bad or to get out of the way when that person is working, he'll quickly back off and keep his distance. I would do the same. Nobody wants to be another person's punching bag when she or he is in a bad mood. I sure as hell don't. And I can tell S doesn't either. When I see he's been hurt, my heart goes to him...and I try to give him lots of J love, which often comes in the form of massages. I am, after all, a licensed massage therapist! ;-)

If I accidentally step on him, open the door wide open (w/o looking to see if he's there), or become sharp with him, I will always apologize right away.

Fil leaves S here during much of the week, so hubby and I are with him most of the time. This is the closest we'll ever come to being parents. ;-D

As S is an action dog and requires vigorous physical activity, we try to play with him, and take him out swimming in the river everyday (while we take it easy in the canoe!). Yes, I know, we have it good! And so does he--but he doesn't know it, I don't think. Or maybe he does? ;-) He sure knows where the comfortable spots are in our home and my parents in-law's home!

That's why I wish he could talk and tell me what's he's thinking! Instead, I'm left to interpret his gestures, and deep, penetrating gazes. What do they mean?

For example:

Getting on the couch and turning his back toward me.

You hurt my feelings!

I am really pissed at you (because you won't throw my stinky toy around the living room)!

Sitting very still before me while I'm on the sofa snacking on popcorn, ice cream or some other dessert, and gazing at me with great intensity:

Can I have some?

When are you going to share with me?

You know you love me! Why aren't you sharing with me?

Putting his chin on my arm while I'm eating dinner and gazing at me with great intensity:

I love you! Will you share some of your dinner with me?

If I look at you long enough like this, I bet you'll give me a piece of fish/veggie/whatever's on your plate!

Plopping down on the floor loudly and with a *sigh*:

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo completely booooooooooooooooored!

You're ignoring me! I'm gonna turn my back on you since you're not paying attention to me!

No one wants to play with me? Humph! (plop!)

No one at the table is going to share her/his food with me? *tsk*!! (plop!)

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo completely tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired!

When he sees something unfamiliar in a familiar place--patio furniture, laundry hanging outside, a ladder in the house, a spider or an insect, and he starts barking ferociously as if they're enemy combatants:

Oh, my God! What the heck is going on here? Where did these invaders come from?!

You better watch out! I'm gonna get you if you move! I'm here to protect the family!

What are you doing HERE? Get out! Go away! I'LL take care of YOU!

When he runs up to every visitor and wants to lick them all over:

Oh, oh! COMPANY! I LOVE COMPANY!!

I LOVE YOU! (I don't care if you're family or the mailman!)

LOVE ME! Please love me! Pet me! Shower your affections upon me!

When he lets out deep, soulful barks as he first jumps into the water, whether river or swimming pool, and also while swimming and then finding shallow spots to hold himself high and go off on a barking frenzy:

Oh God! THIS is what I've been waiting for ALL day! %-D

This is how life should BE! Hear my bark echo throughout the town! Let me fool J into thinking there is more than one dog here!!

Why aren't you guys in the water with ME?!?!

LOOK AT ME! WATCH ME!

The deep, piercing look of utter disbelief and betrayal when we leave him alone at night or when going out to run errands:

Again? How can you do this to me yet again?

I cannot believe this is happening to me!

No! Please don't leave me! Are you really going?

What other things does he do?

I know that when he sits in front of me or lies down on his side, he wants a massage. Sometimes he gets three (mini) massages in a day!

Or, if he goes into the dining room, looks back at me, then looks toward the kitchen, it means he wants to go out.

If outside, and he's facing away from the door, he's not ready to come in.

Those three things~I don't need him to talk to me then!

He also messes up my floor. That's what I get for allowing him in our cottage, which I didn't allow for the first 10 months he was here. But when I saw him napping so peacefully on our sofa the first time, he had me wrapped around his paw...I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. He was just too cute, and looked so happy! :-)

Living out in the country is very peaceful. But it's also a lot dirtier, with more bugs (BIGGER bugs!) and spiders. I never aspired to be a domestic goddess--I've got better things to do with my time, and housework to me is a Sisyphean endeavor, but as I have let my beloved four-legged buddy into our humble domain, I must contend with cleaning more, because our kitchen floor is white, and EVERYTHING shows. :-( Ugh!

If only S would use his big tongue to lap up his dirty pawprints! %-0 After all, he's like a vacuum cleaner in the water, seemingly sucking up any leaf or piece of bark that floats by (but not always keeping it).

And because he's such a people person, he wants to be where the people are, even if we are doing such a mundane chore as washing dishes. He'll walk right up to us and want attention...but he never offers to help! :-(

This dog is SO easily bored. He can let the world know with the loudest, deepest sighs! %-0 He sniffs our books on our bookshelves, occasionally. I'll bet he's envious of us reading books, seeing fil read the newspaper, or watching us on the computer! ;-)

What a dog he would be if he could discuss great literature, the news, solve a mathematical proof for hubby (or fix a computer bug!)!

Could he be thinking:

I am soooooo jealous! Why can't dogs do what humans can do?

Wishful thinking, eh? It's probably more like:

You humans! This is so incredibly boring to lie here and watch you read/work on the computer/watch the tube! You should be OUTSIDE, running around, chasing geese and rabbits and squirrels! Getting your paws muddy! Getting yourself dirty and stinky! THAT'S LIVING! %-D

Whatever he thinks, it must be intense because his head is always warm (like mine!). Once he laid his head on my lap and it was so hot that I began to wonder if he was going to burn a hole in my jeans!!

Talk or no talk, I love S very much. He's the ultimate goof partner, and reminds me of what's important in life: to be yourself and be free!

Whenever I might fall into a sour mood, hubby brings S over to help me put things into perspective: the world is not coming to an end (though S often sulks!)! CHILL! Just look at ME! :-D

Woof woof!!

"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."
- Anonymous

Trust Women

2010-01-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

This post is in response to NARAL Pro-Choice America's Blog for Choice Day 2010, to "to raise the profile of reproductive rights in the blogosphere, all the while celebrating Roe's 37th anniversary".

I firmly believe that a woman's right to choose is a core progressive value that must be protected and advanced, and this is why I have decided to participate.

This year's theme is Trust Women. It is what was written on a button that the late (murdered) Dr. Tiller wore.

What does Trust Women mean to me?

I will tell you exactly what it means to me: it means respecting women. It means you regard us as equal and worthy human beings as men are. No less. And TRUSTING us to make our own decisions about our own bodies~our reproductive health.

MY BODY IS MINE. No government, deity, religious organization, family member, or even my spouse, owns my body. I am NOT a piece of property to be ruled by, interfered with, invaded by, or controlled by any of the aforementioned. Certainly, NOT without my consent, if I were so brainless to allow it.

Respect brings trust. That is how I feel.

I doubt there is any man on planet earth who would want his partner, family, church, or government trying to control the decisions he would make about what he does with his health. His body. Is there no fairness here? Let's do what we want with women's bodies, counsel us on what we should or should not do, and condescendingly tell us that others know what's best for us? Override our concerns, decisions, even civil rights? To hell with what we want? But please, leave the men alone?

I will say right now that I don't like abortion. I'd like to think most people don't, though some wing-nuts out there would paint all pro-choice activists as abortion lovers, and that the ones who have them do it willy-nilly. Legal or not, women will always seek to terminate an unwanted pregnancy as they probably have throughout history. However, on this touchy subject, I agree with President Obama: that it should be safe, legal and rare.

There is little I can say about the subject of abortion, as I have never faced the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. But having been threatened with rape once...and having been friends with a woman who was raped at gunpoint, I know the very real fear AND anger, of the danger of my person being violated in the worst way. And seeing up close how being violated has scarred a friend forever.

What happened to the rapist, the criminal? I don't know. Maybe he got a slap on the wrist (a few years in jail?), or most likely, he escaped with impunity...continuing to violate and ruin more women's lives. Why is the onus always on the woman? Where is there accountability on the man (or boy) who may have impregnated her? Is there ever talk of self-control on his part? Responsibility? Why is he allowed to screw up the life of a woman, while he can go off and have his fun with impunity as society turns her into a villain, engaging in useless speculation on where she was, what she was wearing, etc., and focusing all the blame on her, instead of the criminal and the crime itself. Why is there no talk of male responsibility?

I deeply empathize with those women who live in fear of the unknown. They may have big dreams of advanced education, career, family, whatever. And my heart aches when I read stories of those couples who turned to Dr. Tiller (on his memorial page), when unforseen medical problems arose in the third trimester were deemed by medical specialists as hopeless for the fetus--and possibly dangerous for the mother, compelling them to make an excruciatingly painful decision to terminate the pregnancy.

That was THEIR decision to make, ultimately. THEIR bodies. THEIR private lives.THEIR CHOICE. Does Uncle Sam or the holier-than-thou religious harassers at women's health clinics have any empathy for women? Do they have any clue what fear, violence, or violation of their most intimate parts might feel like? From their blind, violent outrages, it wouldn't seem so.

Who does the government or religious people think they are to interfere? Some talk about less government interference in people's lives, but have no compunction about telling a woman what to do with her body. Take for example "Crisis Pregnancy Centers": in reality, many have turned out to be centers of proselytizing on taxpayer monies, giving no medical information, or misinformation, to vulnerable women.

That in itself is a public health threat. It is dangerous. They are using taxpayers' hard-earned money for deceptive practices. False advertising. Not all crisis centers are like this (I hope), but many seem to be, from the news I've read over the years.

That is NOT respectful toward women. There is no trust there.

And reproductive rights extends beyond having the choice to terminate a pregnancy, especially in the case of rape, incest, threat to the mother's health, or a prognosis of the fetus' quality of life (based on sound medical advice). What about getting second or third opinions and being denied that option because a doctor or court "knows best"?

Or the excess amount of C-sections and hysterectomies being perfomed in this country--often for NON-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors? Why are there 600,000 hysterectomies performed in the USA each year, many of which are medically unnecessary?

Are our bodies just something the medical establishment can profit off of that easily, while we deal and suffer with a myriad of subsequent health issues stemming from unnecessary, radical surgeries?

I don't call that respect towards women. Certainly, not trust.

NO ONE is going to control, invade, interfere, or rule over my decisions over my body, my reproductive health. Not least without MY consent. My body is mine. No government nor deity or religious organzation has any right to control me...my body.

Stay out of my womb. I am not a piece of property. Nor a doormat.

I respect myself too much to blindly let anyone--or anything, dictate what I should do with my body. I have a pretty good brain inside me~I can make intelligent, informed decisions in consultation with my health care provider if I am told something isn't quite right. I do my research whenever I am told something is amiss inside me. And I encourage every woman to do likewise.

It's your body.

As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive, misogynistic one. I want to live in a world where women are regarded as equal and worthy as men are. And I am ready and willing to stand up and fight for that, tooth and nail, if need be.

Trust Women! It would be an honor to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousins, and friends...to all the women who came before them, and all the women who come after them.

That is what I believe. For me to believe otherwise would be an insult to the women in my family. To their dignity.

That is what Trust Women means to me.

“The best proof of love is trust.”
~Dr. Joyce Brothers, American psychologist, (1927)

Spider Hell

2009-10-31T18:35:00.000-04:00

BOO!

Spiders freak me out!

I dropped an eight pound bag of multi flavored dog biscuits on a medium sized spider the other day. On purpose. And I dropped it 2x...just to make sure.

Last weekend, my 11 year old nephew, who was camping out at his mom mom and pop pop's house (which is only a couple hundred feet away from us) with his siblings, came out of the bedroom to report a spider in the bedroom. He and his younger sister and brother were sharing the big bed, and apparently did not want to have spider company.

J (nephew): Uh...there's a big spider in the bedroom!

Uncle B: Well, why don't you kill it then?

J: (almost wincing) But, it's BIG!

UB: Oh, C'mon now! You're like 100 times bigger than it!

J: Please?

me: oh, B...go do it! %-0

So Uncle B went and took care of the spider. But since he likes those creatures, he doesn't kill them. He took his shirt off, gathered it up as if putting a baby in a blanket (!), and took it outside to free it. I told J that I didn't like spiders, either...I think that reassured him, since hubby was teasing him. ;-)

I got B to take care of another his eight-legged friends when I saw one hanging from the ceiling one night this week. If he is around, I ask him to take care of it. If not, the spider has no future with me!

Yesterday, I drowned one in the kitchen sink, and vacuumed up another in the utility room. I had some mercy on it for about a record-breaking month, because hubby wouldn't take it out, saying, "it's not hurting anything". Yes it was: it was hurting my field of vision in that small corner of the room! %-0 Unfortunately, I sucked up a couple of ladybugs in the process of vacuuming up cobwebs and spiders. I LOVE ladybugs!

Oh! And then the other night, fil's puppy, S: I pointed out the medium sized spider to him and he chased it in a small space of the living room of mil/fil's house! He squashed it with his big paw (he does have large, cute paws!). He kept at it, smashing it repeatedly, as in, spider overkill! %-0 Then, like me, he kept examining it, to make sure it was deceased. :-)

It was actually pretty funny to watch him go after the spider! And I thanked him for helping me! I know hubby was probably not pleased about the spider's fate, but he was laughing with me at S, too!

Hubby, my friends and family will tell you I don't like eight-legged arachnoids. They're just...creepy!

Where do I trace my intense hatred for them? (okay, well...HATE might be a strong word, especially since I think reeeeeaaally tiny ones that are colorful, are somewhat cute--as long as they're not in my home!)

I have a clear photographic memory of riding my tricycle around the block, with my mom following me. I was probably in preschool then. I remember my mom stopping to talk with a neighbor. You know that when you're very small, and you're hanging around when adults talk, it seems like eternity, right? I happened to feel something crawling on me...I looked down, and was completely horrified by this big, black, chunky spider on my leg! Now I call them Schwarzenegger spiders, in honor of the governor of CA! Actually, I called them that before he became governor...when he was still the Terminator.

I kept trying to get my mother's attention, calling out to her as if my life were in mortal danger: "MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!" %-0 Finally, she got annoyed with my interruptions of her conversation with the neighbor and my tugging at her pants,

"WHAT is it?" she asked, exasperated. (someone like me doesn't forget the tone of their mother's voice in grave situations like these!)

"Mommy!" I whimpered, "Spi--spider! SPIIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRRRRR" I sniffed.

"Where is it?" she asked impatiently

"My l--leg!" I pointed to the creature, which was very still on my leg.

What did my mommy do? She bent down and whacked it on my leg! Gave me a spider tatoo! And went on talking with the neighbor as if nothing happened! %-0

Do you even think I would forget this traumatic experience? No way! I whined again to her, and she curtly said, "It's dead. It's not going anywhere!"

How do you know? It might come back to life! :-(

I couldn't express that then, but that's what I was thinking, since I kept staring at the spider corpse tattoo on my leg, even all the way back down the street to our house, with Mom scolding me for not looking where I was going as I was probably running my tricycle either into her legs or off the sidewalk.

When I tell hubby to take his friend out, I ask him to please take the spider WAY past the door. ;-)

He asks: Do you actually think it's going to come back and get you?

Yes, of course it will!

I just don't want to give it a second chance to come back to terrorize me!

And there's another incident: seeing the movie Charlotte's Web. I had nightmares from watching that friendly spider! My brother was not home for some reason and I wanted to sleep in his room! Selfish little sister ME wants to get away from big sister! (sorry Sis!). I was

That night after I saw it, I dreamt his entire bedroom ceiling was covered with crawling black spiders! %-0 And I screamed (yelled?) and caused Mom and Sis to run to the room. While they were trying to ask me what was wrong and calming me down, I sobbed that there were black spiders crawling all over the ceiling!

Where, honey?

Look up!

See? There's nothing there!

Well, in my mind they were there! They just didn't see them! :-(

On another occasion, when I was home alone with my sister, I came to the door in a fit because I thought I'd run into a gigantic cobweb...and thus, potentially a gigantic spider. ;-) Poor sister thought I was hurt, because (I think) I was crying and screaming. When she asked me what's wrong, I kept saying, "SPIIIIIIDERR! SPIIIDER".

But she saw no spider. Nor a cobweb. I was quite sure I ran into SOMETHING! I'm sure she could imitate what I did that day, if you wanted to know. ;-)

Does all this make clear to you that I have a lifetime intense dislike for arachnids? I don't think I'll ever get over it!

Now that we're really living in the sticks, I've been exposed to A LOT more creatures. The kind I like (ladybugs, wooley worms, tiny frogs and toads), and the kind I that makes me wince: spiders, daddy long-legs, wasps, yellow jackets). I don't like snakes or mice, either--unless they're in cartoon form or behind a glass enclosure (!), but they don't scare me like spiders and insects.

I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in Spider Hell for all the spiders I've destroyed?

Or maybe not, since I don't believe in heaven or hell.

Or maybe I'll return in another life as an arachnid?

Or maybe this is all nonsensical?

All I know is: I'm seeing more spiders this year than last year, when we first moved down here. Yes, I know they're part of our planet and they eat bad things that we don't want to know about...but I do not like them at all.

Woe be to the eight-legged creature who crosses my path! %-0

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

I Love This! :-)

2009-10-04T00:04:00.000-04:00

From the Vancouver Sun (9/30/09):

Education paves the road to women's equality

Peace summit's closing session points way to more inclusive future

For more than 600 years, the god-king of Tibet has been a man. But the 14th Dalai Lama -- Tenzin Gyatso -- said it need not always be so.

Having declared himself a feminist on the opening day of his Vancouver Peace Summit, the Dalai Lama said at the closing session on women and peace-building, "If a female Dalai Lama can be more effective, then why not?"

"It will come. No problem."

(dear Dalai Lama~you are one cool dude. ;-))

Read more from the Vancouver Sun...!

People have confidence in women to get them out of trouble.
~Dorothy Thompson (1893-1961), American journalist

In Memoriam to a Dear Friend

2009-09-08T16:36:00.000-04:00

There is a deep ache in hubby's and my heart today. A very deep ache. We just learned his best friend~and my dear friend, as well, died this summer. :-((

B was surfing around, looking up the latest activities of our pal when he saw that the first thing on Google that came up was "G--memorial...". First, he thought perhaps it was another person who shared our friend's namesake, but when he went to the page, sure enough, there was a photo of our dear friend.

Talk about shock. :-(

Here we were, waiting for G to get in touch with us, as was his usual way, which--as I wrote on the memorial blogpot site, is testament to G and his sometimes larger than life character...always seeming to find ways to keep touch with EVERYONE in his life in some form.

Really, though: friendship is a two-way street is it not? Both sides must strive to keep in touch, to keep the friendship strong and healthy, if it is to last through years of the good, the bad, and the ugly, which our relationship with G certainly endured. I'm sorry to say that G was much better on the communication grounds than we were, much as I like to pat myself on the back for keeping in touch with others.

He was one of the busiest people we've ever known in life: teaching, researching, counseling, mentoring, traveling, giving presentations. But somehow, he found time to reach his friends. Like us. Calling from the beach while on break from his conference. Calling us before his plane would take off to somewhere (for a conference). Calling us en route to work or a conference. He was always on the move!

Here I am, on Facebook every evening, and never checking his page all summer long, thinking he's too busy having fun with family and friends in India. Mil and fil asked about him, but all we knew was that he was going to Nairobi, Kenya, to act as chaperone for his nephew, to meet up with G's brother. And going on a safari with his nephew. It sounded like the ultimate G vacation to us! Living life to the fullest! :-)

No word from G all summer long. A little unusual, but we didn't think much of it. And now, today, we discover that the world has been without one, incredible human being since June 29. How dumbstruck do you think we feel? And regretful we didn't keep in touch more?

At the end of ten days in Kenya~on the day of his return back to his family in Goa, India, he just collapsed and died immediately. :-(

I cannot stop crying. :~(( It is unbelieveable he has left us~WAY too soon. We have known G for almost all our married life~nearly two decades, when we met in a church in the Bay Area--which we all stopped attending long ago. G was our mentor, counselor, big brother, challenger, best friend. He was an integral part of our lives.

We will miss his brilliant mind, his intense presence, his annual visits, his phone calls from everywhere. And for me, I will miss his hearty laughter most of all. It was truly contagious! Few people ever made me laugh as much as he did. ;-)

G's ceaseless, intense support for human rights and justice inspired us to be advocates for the same. He was our inspiration in many facets of life, and he loved to debate us on anything and everything, often playing devil's advocate. He was never afraid to challenge our beliefs and goals, and was always, always supportive. He was respectful of our family members and endeavored to engage them in conversation. He lived lived life to the fullest and was proud of it. :-)) An example to follow. G was the ultimate friend anybody could hope for!

In honoring G's memory, hubby and I will endeavor to become better friends to our friends and become stronger, better advocates for the causes we hold dear to our hearts. ;-)

Though we are QUITE heartbroken and in shock, we know that we have been truly blessed by one incredible human being, loved by many friends around the world, including us. We did not get a chance to say good-bye to our dear friend who enriched our lives immeasurably for the last 18+ years. He was the kind of friend whom you could not IMAGINE life without! The kind of friend whom you wanted around FOREVER. He will be sorely, sorely missed by us.

G, wherever you are, we loved you deeply. You have a place in our hearts forever.

A Time to Talk
by Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

Unleashed! %-0

2009-08-15T00:04:00.000-04:00

“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.”

~Samuel Langhorne Clemens/Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), American author and humorist

If you are having a rotten day, do you use others at your punching bag?

I sure hope I don't. Not as habit anyway. When I have, others have called me to it fairly quickly. An apology is in order, there. ;-)

I have run across punch-baggers in many a store, in family, and a few friends (but friends always give me fair warning, as in, "let me call you back later because I'm in a really, really bad mood!" or explain to me why they are feeling cranky.)

But I am thinking: even when at times I have been majorly stressed out (at least, as adult), I endeavored NOT to use those around me as target practice, because I knew--and know, that they are not the problem. I am.

To help myself put things in perspective--that there is always, ALWAYS, someone out there who has it worse than myself, I even went out of my way after work once a week to volunarily mentor a troubled young girl~who for most of the two years I spent with her, didn't seem to want me there. That was my "therapy" to keep myself calm. ;-)

You might ask: what bought this up, being a punching bag?

I am someone who comes from a temperamental family, but rather than being extremely short-fused, I let things simmer for a long time (days, months, YEARS...!), then I explode! %-0

A terse request in the form of email came this morning. Nothing wrong there. Except that our email system sent my email an hour late, so he didn't get my email~which would have answered his request. I quickly...and angrily resent the letter! That set off my hot lava button!

About what, you ask?

Everything and anything! !%$@!#!^%)(*!
At myself, for being so sensitive (at times).
At others, for being so INsensitive.
At myself, for forgetting that others are under extreme stress in these trying times.
At others, over decades!, for inadvertently (or purposely) using me as their punching bag and never--or rarely, apologizing.
At others, for not learning how to manage their lives better so that they will be less inclined to transfer their misery onto others.
At myself, for not having better self-control...yet(!).

A whole mix of things!

So this is my rant: I'm NOT your fucking punching bag. I am NO ONE's punching bag 0R doormat.

I don't deserve it! You think I do? Do I do it to you? Do you really think so little of me that you have no hesitation in striking out when it suits you?

I'm not taking it anymore! :-( I don't know why I did before, but those days are history. I will call you on it next time you lose control. Ouch!

Whether verbally or on paper, words can kill another's spirit. Or affection for another. Cause a slow death. Or cause loss of respect for others you thought you were supposed to trust. Or genuinely trusted...long ago.

I'm not asking people to be mushy, but for goodness sake, can you leave the hateful venom in the toilet where it belongs? It's often quite palpable these days. :-( (just turn on the news!).

I've come to believe over the years that what comes out of a person's mouth is what is in that person's heart. If you didn't mean it, why the hell did you say it in the first place? I'm not talking about trivial mistakes we all make when trying to explain non-personal things. I'm talking about matters of the heart. Such as when you're angry at something or someone and you lash out at the nearest person, even if that person is a supposed loved one. That's when words can sear you like a steam burn. Or worse.

I have accidentally steam-burned my fingers from an autoclave at work, so I know how painfully nasty that feels like! %-0 Those burn marks fade, but not emotional burns.

Just yesterday, my mom mentioned she thought she was getting more impatient with people in her later years!

Maybe I am, too. Though I'm not sure that's my way. More precisely, I am growing more intolerant of people with meanness. :-( There's no room for meanness in my life, anymore. I don't want any part of it, which is hard, because I react very strongly to any form of meanness...and in turn, spew back meanness in equal measure. When that occurs, I have just trapped myself in the very thing I want to avoid. Spun myself into the darkest depths of the heart. I get mad at myself for getting mad, and lamely blaming the person for getting mad at me and "making" me mad because s/he got my goat. %-0! Something to work on for sure. I am trying--I feel better when I know I have the will within me to stop and think before I react to something so negative that has the potential to unnerve me...if I let it.

At least my mean spells are only transient, because I've got a good hubby~my bestest friend in the universe, to bring me back to earth, clear my head, and help me be myself again. :-)

You see, if I don't have tolerance of meanness in myself, how would you expect me to have it in others? (flakiness is another character trait I cannot tolerate in myself or others, but that's another subject worthy of a post...another time!)

Thank you kindly for reading my rant. ;-)

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882), American essayist, philosopher and poet

2009-08-03T00:04:00.002-04:00

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...!

2009-08-03T00:04:00.000-04:00

To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do.
~Spanish Proverb

Where have I been, you ask? :-0

To save you from asking me questions, I am taking the liberty of imagining that you asking me about my absence for the last several months! ;-)

Where have you been? I began to think you quit blogging!

No way! I've been here on earth the whole time!

Well, four months is an awfully long time not to blog. So what were you doing? You weren't ill, were you?

No, I wasn't ill~had a couple minor medical problems that compelled me do to some extensive research, but laziness was probably the big issue that kept me from writing. And I got even more addicted to Facebook.

You've got all that free time. Must be nice.

Are you being sarcastic? If so, you can save your sarcasm for someone or something else (the toilet). I don't deserve it.

Why do you feel compelled to write such long, mothership posts, and letters?

Because I write like I think and talk. It's like gift-giving: I don't want to write anything I don't care to read ("I walked the dog this morning"), just as I endeavor not to give gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself. Seems to me, writing is becoming ever less important to people~and short, grammatically incorrect sentences seen in Twitter and texting reign supreme now. I thank my lucky stars that I had a few excellent, strict, and unforgiving English teachers from jr. high through my second year in college. They helped set me straight. ;-)

And maybe, I just needed time to clear my head. Or do you call that writer's block? It's a bit of both, I think!

What have your typical days been like?

I wake up and practice yin yoga~often while listening to the radio broadcast of Democracy Now!, then eat my breakfast of oatmeal with ground flax, raw honey, vanilla yogurt, and half a sliced banana, while checking my email. If it is M, W, or F, I get my news blurbs from the Women's Media Center website to my email and scan through the news. Anything that looks interesting, I post it to one of many women's groups I belong to on Facebook (fb), be it politics, business, sports, arts and crafts, music, theatre and film, media and technology, etc. A dear friend I met on fb started those groups that I belong to and made me an "officer" of sorts (partner!), so I feel compelled to share these news stories on these groups. I get anywhere from 15-25 plus stories from the WMC, so it's a good amount to sift through. They used to email me daily, but last month, it became 3x a week.

I find it very liberating to share these stories and occasionally add my two cents' worth. :-)

Sometimes, especially this summer, my father in-law has been bringing in veggies galore each evening. So I wash, cut and freeze them. I'm talking gallon-and-a-pint buckets of tomatoes, banana peppers, squash, eggplants and other veggies. If it is spring or fall, then it's kale. Or strawberries. It takes time (hours) to process all that, so I like to put on an upbeat cd, and blast it while I do that work. I find it very peaceful. What I have yet to do (maybe) is pick all those veggies!

But I have no tolerance for being under the sun. A hot sun makes me hot-headed. You wouldn't want to be around me. I change personality very quickly.

If there's time and weather permits, I go out for a bike ride, either to the library (four miles, one way) or to fil's garden about 6 miles away (one way). The last month, I've gotten extra exercise because the state is rebuilding a little bridge next to my parents in-law's house and have thus closed off the road in front of us, causing everyone to use a long, windy, two to three mile detour. I want to keep my heart and body healthy...cycling is one (fun) way to do it. I hate exercising!

Well, I admit, if it is something I LIKE, then I DO feel better afterwards! Though the other day, when I really had to pedal hard to meet a shuttle bus (made it by 10 seconds to spare!), I realized how out of shape I was, and was limping after the bike ride home!%-0

Oh, lucky us: mil/fil have a small pool here! A dip or swim in the pool after a long ride is very soothing for the muscles...especially at night. Very peaceful.

When the weather is sucky or I need to get away from the computer (!), I read. I read voraciously.

What do you like to read?

Works by women authors from all over the world~because I was only exposed almost exclusively to the great classics by dead white men during my school years, some of whom have become my favorite authors. But if you looked at what I read during jr. and sr. high school and college, you might think there were only a few women in history who ever put their pen to paper! %-0 It's why Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre made such a deep impact on me in 10th grade; it's one of my lifetime favorite novels (read it 3x already). I'm just trying to catch up now and discover the work produced by the female half of humanity~and not necessarily dead ones!

Most especially, I love to read autobiographies and biographies of women of influence and power!:-) Women who were dedicated to improving the lot of women~and people in general, be it suffrage, healthcare, women's rights, business, public policy, education or what have you. I also like reading about women who broke ground in their fields of study, such as Margaret Mead, Marie Curie, and Rachel Carson. Those are the people I want to know about.

I pay particular attention to those who write well, like Simone de Beauvoir, Emma Goldman, Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Ding Ling.

Why do you want to know about them?

Because I want to be like them. They inspire me to stand up for what I believe in. To advocate for what I believe in. To encourage others to think about what I believe in. ;-)

What DO you believe in?

I firmly believe that women are human beings and should be treated as such. And I mean EVERY woman and girl on earth. We are worthy of deserving every opportunity to reach our full potential, of having the right to a basic education~and higher education, if that is what we choose. We are worthy of having access to basic health care~regardless of our socio-economic background, without any governmental or religious body telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. We are deserving of the right to earn our own living, earning the same pay for the same work as our male counterparts, and KEEPING our own salary w/o being obliged to turn it over to another family member or spouse. We are worthy of having the courts mete justice out to those who have broken the law and harmed us, physically or mentally. And we deserve better public policy from our elected representatives to push for more family-friendly work laws that enable us to not have to sacrifice our own sick time to care for another family member when they become ill.

Women and girls are not commodities for the pleasure of the opposite sex. We are not slaves meant for prostitution or human trafficking for hard labor both here and abroad. We do not exist merely for the purpose of society to define us by our sexuality alone: either virgin or slut, pure or soiled. Or whether we open our mouths or not: good girl or bitch. We are human beings!

It seems all that I've mentioned ought to be obvious, but it isn't, to much of the world, including to some here in the United States of America. :-(

As long as sexual exploitation, sexual harrassment, violence against women, and sexism in general is occurring~and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will speak out (or write out) and advocate for the rights of women and girls to be demanded, enforced, and respected.

This is what I believe.

How did you come to be so impassioned about womanny things?

Life experience: observing women in my family, friends, coworkers--and even strangers, suffer needlessly throughout the years from cultural and societal restraints on their person. I.e., obedience to spouse (not reciprocal!), expected decorum, one-way respect (hierarchial), repression of verbal expression, enduring scorn for speaking their mind, suffering in silence for standing up for themselves, discouraged from pursuing their own interests and ambitions~which may conflict directly with the values of their family and community, etc.

What also has influenced me greatly is being an alumna of Mills College, an independent, liberal arts, women's undergraduate college in Oakland, CA. (which also offers graduate degrees to men). My time there awakened me to the issues women face, as well as keeping in touch friends there and quarterly newsletters in the years since graduation.

Do you think you will hold to these same views when you're an old lady?

Yes, of course! I hope that a great many things will improve for women and girls BEFORE I become an old lady and that I wouldn't have to even THINK about their present lot in life. But as long as we are discriminated against because of gender, and are exploited and harassed because of it, then I am ready and willing to stand with all the girls and women of the world who seek justice and respect until we get what we deserve, or until my last breath. Whichever comes first.

What do you plan to do with all this information~all this voracious reading you're consuming?

Foment a women's revolution.

Spread the gospel of social justice.

Keep signing petitions via various organizations on issues that matter to me.

Continue to hammer away at my congressional representatives on any issue that means something to me, via email or petition.

C'mon. Seriously.

Seriously! Why wouldn't I be serious about matters I care about? Yes. SERIOUSLY.

Okaaay.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You'd better watch out...! ;-D

Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human. ~Robin Morgan (1941-), American radical feminist activist, writer, poet, and editor of Sisterhood is Powerful and Ms. Magazine.

Raging Bull!

2009-04-02T14:56:00.000-04:00

I am a raging bull, I admit it: I have a bad temper . :-(

I have family and relatives who are temperamental, but I think they are more short-fused than me. Impatient. Easily angered; you never know when they'll explode. Like walking in a minefield...you never know when they'll blow up, but it's a sure-fire guarantee they will, sooner or later. You can be certain of that with each visit.

Not that I'm any better. I'm not.

I'm the simmering volcanic type! I give no warning either, but my explosion might take days, weeks, months, even years to occur. But when Mount Me explodes...watch out! A hot explosion of fury lava will spill forth, leaving nothing in my path. As hubby put it, I leave no prisoners behind. I get the job DONE!%-0

That's how I was this morning, when I discovered mil "took my job". It's anybody's job to wash (really, rinse), chop, and cook the greens from fil's garden to freeze for storage; she's been doing it for decades, unlike me, who's only been assisting her off and on throughout the years. I did most of it yesterday. Washing all these bags of greens--and other vegetables for that matter, does not bother me. Since there is so much (we ended up with five quart-sized bags to freeze!), it takes a few hours to go through. I find a kind of peace doing that work.

So why did I get all worked up over something so trivial this morning? Feel possessive about it? I deeply resent others when they are possessive of me or something or someone else, but I am guilty of doing the same thing! %-0 This is not to say I think she is possessive of that work--I'm only saying that is how I am.

I can't explain it. I just became uncharacteristically LOUD today. Poor hubby was the messenger between the two of us (only because he went over to their kitchen this morning to soak beans) this morning. He said, "Mom's got almost all of the greens washed; she got to it first thing this morning and hasn't eaten yet". She told him she didn't want me to feel burdened.

WHAT?!

No way! I don't mind at all, and had told her so before. Am I stealing her job? ;-0 We'll have to talk! She had complained before it was like a burden sometimes, with fil bringing home veggies all the time...everyday, for her to take care of. Is it cuz she thought something like that should be done in the early morning? What does it matter what time it is done? (Mind you, I did not tell her that I intended to do it today! I fully intended to do it myself...I just didn't communicate that to her. ;-0)

I'm still very much a night owl; I have my peace at night, always have.

But I can work in the morning, too. After all, I spent years starting work at 6 a.m., and then 5 a.m. because we had early birds in the lab. Insanity!

Anyhoo, I stomped, banged pots and pans, and ranted and raved all morning long! Talking loud--almost shouting the whole time in the kitchen, in part because the commercial fridge and freezer are so darn LOUD, and we turn the radio on loud to drown out the fridge sounds. Hubby certainly didn't have trouble hearing me this morning, while I bagged up the blanched curly kale for the freezer.

My mind was, and is, racing! Hubby calls me a restless spirit on an endless flight (from the Eagle's song. Even with all my ranting, hubby was still loving toward me! Wasn't quite sure what to do with his raving woman who couldn't calm down, though! %-0 He told me to go exercise.

I took my fury out on my bike roller. I was SO RAGING angry, I kept up a maddening pace of 80 rpm (revolutions per minute) for most of the 25 minutes I rolled, even on 2nd gear! Racy symphonic music blasting away helped! I raged and rolled on the bike until after my neck was sopping wet with sweat, and salty sweat got in my eyes and rolled down my nose! %-0

Mil likes working and being outside MUCH better, I think, especially on bright sunny days. It doesn't matter much to me: I'm happy indoors. I don't like, or allow, Mother Nature to dictate my life, but...don't get ME in the hot sun or my tongue will be hotter than the sun itself! %-0

I'll sure we can arrive at an easy understanding...we always have. :-)

In the meantime, I have to work out my RAGE.

Before I went over to help hubby, I put on a cd of Dimitry Shostakovich's louder compositions; I put the volume on as loud as I could stand it. I love his work...it's very intense, often dark and tormented. I can relate to it extremely well!

Cycling on the rollers helped a great deal. It's better than saying unpleasant, hurtful words and verbally stabbing someone forever, isn't it? I can dissipate my boiling anger and build up some leggie muscles at the same time! ;-)

Of course, I was mostly mad that I even got mad, in the first place! Such a trivial matter, washing vegetables!

There are other things that I rage over, such as social injustices, misogyny, etc. That's when I try to cycle my rage away. Pretend I'm rolling over the baddies who take advantage of others, or who try to control the female half of humanity through violence, cultural traditions or laws, or who publicly spew out misogynistic, dumb chatter that demeans, dehumanizes, and perpetuates backward thinking about women.

Doing a lot of reading calms me down. :-) It helps me think more clearly. I LOVE to read works by women who have stood up and out against unjust treatment of women, and of more vulnerable members of society. The more outspoken and brave they were (and are), the more I am inspired by their chutzpah. :-) They are whom I admire, and are the ones who will help me channel my rage.

Alice! Simone! Emma! And all those whom I've yet to discover: sock it (your words of wisdom) to me!! I'm ready to devour your words, to let them nourish and saturate my mind and heart. :-)

I have A LOT of reading to do!...

p.s. #1: I did see the movie Raging Bull...but hopefully, I won't end up being a broken, boozy, overweight, lousy nightclub act! ;-0

p.s. #2: OF COURSE mil and I are friends! I made a mountain out of a molehill! She told me she didn't want me to think she was going to leave all the work to me! I love her! Do I have something going on biologically? Did I not get enough sleep (which can make me unruly and cranky!)?

It's International Women's Day '09!

2009-03-08T16:12:00.000-04:00

March 8th is International Women's Day!

According to the IWD website, IWD is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.

IWD is a national holiday in:China, Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. SOMEBODY, or some bodies (!), had a clue in those countries! :-)

Not here. Not yet, anyway. The USA has no official holiday celebrating great women in herstory. March by the way, is Women's History Month, in case you didn't know.

We have holidays here in the USA to commemorate great men: George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, Jr. But no women!

Why?

Some might say, well, there's Mother's Day. That is important: I certainly respect mothers because I feel they are most often the glue that holds a family together, and they do SO much for so little in return. I tend to gravitate toward mom-like women and friends. They bring help bring life into the world and are the primary caretakers as we grow up. I know I could not have thrived without my mom's love and nuturing. :-)

But Mother's Day is not a paid, federal holiday. Perhaps people already feel we have the day off anyway, as Mother's Day falls on a Sunday.

What about all the other women--women who are not mothers, by choice or circumstance or whatever? Are we less worthy as women--as human beings, if we have not brought life into the world? Surely NOT! %-0

How about women who have made and continue to make great contributions to society: scientists, educators, environmentalists, physicians, nurses, community leaders, spiritual leaders, artists, writers, musicians, and activists who work hard to bring awareness of social injustices and improvements to ameliorate the suffering of others, just to name a few? The underpaid, overworked, and sometimes abused domestic workers? The many women tucked away and forgotten in nursing homes across the country? .

Who would I offer up as a candidate or two or more for the nation to celebrate and commemorate--worthy of having the country take a day off (and be paid!) in her honor?

I can think of some:

Harriet Tubman: (c. 1820–1913) African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the American Civil War.
Eleanor Roosevelt: (1884-1962) First Lady of the US (1933-45), civil rights advocate, internationally prominent author, speaker, politician, and activist for the New Deal coalition.
Jane Addams: (1860-1935) founder of the U.S. Settlement House Nobel Peace Prize and one of the first American women to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Rosa Parks: (1913-2005) African American civil rights activist whom the U.S. Congress later called "Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement".
Susan B. Anthony: (1820-1906) prominent American civil rights leader who played a pivotal role in the 19th century women's rights movement to introduce women's suffrage into the United States.

That's just a start. I know there's many more. The lifelong work of those women alone are worthy of historical note alone. It's HERstory!

Imagine this: national holiday to commemorate a prominent woman (or more) AND a national holiday to celebrate International Women's Day!! Wouldn't that be fabulous? :-D

I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. :-(

Sure, most people know women make up half the population, but they sure don't appreciate that fact via apathy toward violence against women, unequal pay for equal work, and myriad of other woman-unfriendly facts of life.

But I can still hope. Hope that the misogynists of the world--in particular, the religious ones who would keep girls and women brainless and backward, would realize that their hateful, narrow, controlling view of women is only keeping humanity from moving forward.

As long as there are injustices committed against women both here and abroad, and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will continue to stand up for women's rights. Women's rights are human rights. Period.

I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive one!

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.

~Emily Dickinson, (1830-1886) American poet

Snot Kiss...Slobber Kiss...Kiss Kiss :-)

2009-03-01T00:53:00.001-05:00

Kiss: The anatomical juxtaposition
of two orbicularis oris muscles
in a state of contraction.

--Henry Gibbons, Sr., MD (1808-1884)

Last night, my 20 month-old nephew gave me a snot kiss. His nose was running. Clear liquid running between his nose to his lips. But I don't see him often...and he's awfully cute, easy-going, and easily loveable. So how could I deny him his gesture of affection toward me?

I couldn't! Isn't that love? :-)

I did, however wipe my mouth afterwards. Sorry kiddo!

Earlier during the evening, he gave me a couple of kisses--but they were only quasi-snot kisses: his nose was wet, but the liquid wasn't flowing...yet. It's difficult for me to refuse kisses from love-y little people, especially when they are relatives!

Yesterday, I played with my father in-law's dog. He came close to giving me a slobber kiss. He's a real funny dog (still a puppy) and inspires me to be carefree; however, as cute as I think he is--petting him, playing with him, and rubbing his belly is good love from me. I'm not into dog kissing, as in: you can lick my face or limbs all you want, and it's a wonderful thing.

No, it isn't.

Fil's (father in-law) dog is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. An outside dog to the bone. Dog lovers say dogs are clean (in response to those who are horrified by the thought of a dog licking their face). My question to them is: do they really know where their dog has been, and what it has sniffed, touched, and eaten?

I have witnessed fil's dogs in the past (and present) munching on a large pile of chicken shit on the edge of a tractor, or picking up a nice oblong piece of deer turd in the woods on a freezing cold day. Does it taste delicious to them? I'm guessing it might, having observed the excitement with which they go after it, but I wouldn't want to be a canine for the purposes of discovering the culinary delights of another creature's shit.

I do, however, think I possess a doggy-like nose, which I have written about in the past. Dogs have a powerful olfactory sense; so do I! Which leads me back to slobbery dog kisses: dog breath or a wet doggy is a fast turn off. I don't know where you've been and I don't want to know! I still like you, but I can do without the kisses, thank you very much. :-) Woof!

The best kisses, of course, come from my honey! :-)) No runny nose, no bad breath...though it happens to both of us on occasion. I won't go into detail, but all I have to say is:

life is good if you can exchange good kisses with your life partner, in good times as well as in not-so-good times. :-)

I love kisses (except from four-legged creatures)!

Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.

--Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), English Romantic Poet, Prometheus Unbound

Oh, My Aching Leggies!

2009-02-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning. There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. He saw a pack of stones to pass time. He started throwing the stone into the sea. While having the last stone in the hand,
the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond. He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea...
Moral of the story: *********************

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Do not get up early in the morning...

Hee hee hee
Cheers :)

(email from a friend in India)

I couldn't wake up this morning! %-0

No, that's not true, else you wouldn't be reading this, but I did have a terrible time of it this morning. At first I thought the reason was because our new blinds (cheap roller blinds from Wal-Mart) were still down, preventing the bright morning sun from waking me up. We bought them for privacy, and they sure do block out the light at night and in the morning. And I seem to have been sleeping more deeply, or "harder" since we got them last week. Nor do I like to crawl out from under my wool blanket and down comforter in the morning--it's SO cozy. :-)

I still felt spent, this morning. I didn't even exercise yesterday!

Hubby says it's because all my rolling is catching up with me. I did it four days in a row this week. And I moved my time up from 25 minutes a session last week to 35+ minutes this week.

What is rolling, you ask?

It's my/our new exercise this year: we bought a CycleOps Bicycle Roller to improve our balance and make us better bicyclists. It is an apparatus with three aluminum rollers and a belt; you set your bicycle on top and start cycling. Some describe as akin to riding on black ice! But if you're a newbie, like us, then you ought to start training between a narrow doorway, so that when you start sliding side to side, you won't fall off to the side. This is no stationary bike trainer--you really have to concentrate so you won't roll all over the place.

We love it! I love it! There are only 18 gears on my bicycle! ;-0 I've comfortably reached 4th gear after five weeks! %-) Maybe next week I can make it to 5th gear. Hubby's got 15 gears on his bike, but he can ride on that highest gear. Then again, he's got MUCH more experience of bicycling than me. I wonder where I'll be this time next year?

My leggies are still feeling tingly, like I put them through something fierce. My knees are warm. I'm creating a new set of leggies: tree-trunk leggies (scaled to my thin frame)! Blasting our favorite classical music radio station while I'm rolling helps a great deal, too. :-)

I've written before that I am NOT an athletically inclined person. I mean, p.e. was the trauma of my school years! Last one picked for a team, every single time, every day, every week, every year, first grade through tenth grade. (P.E. not required after sophomore year...yay!) One p.e. teacher in jr. high made me stay after class once because she apparently couldn't believe that I couldn't do the gymnastic type exercises that all the other kids could. Was I not trying hard enough? Let's try again after class, she suggested. I'd like to think she meant well, but she did a pretty fine job of making me feel like I was defective. :-((

I suppose I should be grateful I grew up in an era when p.e. was still mandatory in school, at least through 10th grade. Now that it seems to be barely existing in many schools, kids are becoming obese. I would hope that whoever teaches physical education these days is more sensitive to kids who are genuinely not athletically inclined, and would be encouraging to them, rather than make them feel like freaks--in part by condoning nasty behavior from other students who would inflate their own egos by verbally downsizing the klutzes in their class.

It wasn't until I signed up for taekwondo that my spirit was lifted from the ashes of turbulent years of p.e.! Yes! I have a real body! Yes! I can make it do things I never thought it could! Yes! Getting fit doesn't have to be a miserable chore! And yes! I earned my coveted black belt! :-D

I'd like go back to it someday, as I very much loved it: it was fun, enjoyable, and helped fulfill my early martial arts fantasies from earlier days (nights!) of watching badly dubbed kung fu flicks from Hong Kong! But as we live in the sticks now, I have found other ways to keep fit.

Miraculously, I've kept to my yin yoga every morning when I wake up (well, after I put my contact lenses in!) since I started last fall. I even practiced at the airports we camped out at during our Xmas vacation last year! Keeping to an exercise regimen more than a couple days is a phenomenon in my life! Stretching every morning is very calming for me.

And rolling? "Thirty five minutes a day keeps the doctor away." ;-) I'm not an apple person, so I can't say, "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away". I'd rather the fruit be a banana, papaya or fig! We have a book: The Wellness Guide to Lifelong Fitness, by the editors of the University of California at Berkeley WELLNESS LETTER. Of course, we got it used, but it's a good reference guide.

In the cycling section, it mentions you should aim for 45-60 minutes at least three times a week. Uh oh, I thought: I've got a ways to go! But maybe 35-40 minutes 5-6 times a week is just as good? Oh, and add a "leisurely" (their words) 20-30 MILE ride on the weekends!! %-0

I was being too dogmatic in the beginning, thinking I should stick to three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. But then, things came up on those days, and I wouldn't exercise. Did I think the world would come to an end? Of course not! (only if certain political figures came to power, then I might think so! ;-0) So I just try to go with the flow: roll a few days in a row, take one day off, roll again a couple days, take a day off. Doesn't matter. If I can roll a minimum five days a week, I feel like I'm doing something to strengthen my heart and legs. Six days would be my ideal goal.

Since I did it four days in a row this week, maybe that's why I was so tired yesterday, and decided to take a day off. My mind repeated the Nike motto: just do it! My leggies screamed, "Gimme a break, will you?" I think a lot of this is about listening to your body and deciding whether you want to challenge yourself, especially if you're not in the mood, or, if your mind and body were saying two different things to you, as mine was yesterday, whether to be a martyr and push your limits even though you knew your body wasn't quite up to it.

I'm not into martyrdom!

I started doing push-ups again. I used to do them all the time in my taekwondo class. It was embarrassing to me how much trouble I had, doing it yesterday! %-0 Out of shape! I don't like to be so out-of-shape and weak. It's an exhilarating feeling to feel like you're on top of the world after a good workout, rather than stewing in gloom and doom because you can't get your butt off a chair or couch, due to indecision: should I exercise? or not? ;-0

Getting motivated is the first step. Easier said than done when I'm buried beneath warm covers and the blinds are down! I've got yoga and bicycle rollers to entice me now. :-)

Does Anyone Read My Letters?

2009-01-31T22:48:00.000-05:00

Activism

Activism, in a general sense, can be described as intentional action to bring about social or political change. This action is in support of, or opposition to, one side of an often controversial argument.

The word "activism" is often used synonymously with protest or dissent, but activism can stem from any number of political orientations and take a wide range of forms, from writing letters to newspapers or politicians, political campaigning, economic activism (such as boycotts or preferentially patronizing preferred businesses), rallies, blogging and street marches, strikes, both work stoppages and hunger strikes, or even guerrilla tactics. In the more confrontational cases, an activist may be called a freedom fighter by some, and a terrorist by others, depending on whether the commentator supports the activist's ends.

In some cases, activism has nothing to do with protest or confrontation: for instance, some religious, feminist or vegetarian/vegan activists try to persuade people to change their behavior directly, rather than persuade governments to change laws. The cooperative movement seeks to build new institutions which conform to cooperative principles, and generally does not lobby or protest politically.

--Wikipedia

I wrote six letters to the Obama Transition Team, one of them sent the day before the inauguration of our 44th president.

Why?

Why not? They invited the public to share their ideas!

Do I think anyone reads them? I'd like to think so. Maybe some unpaid volunteer or poorly paid staffer reads them! OR, maybe, a computer program scans them. Regardless of who or what reads my letters, I think that if there is some issue that you feel strongly about which deserves the president's attention, and his transition team rolls out the welcome mat to the public, then as a citizen, you ought to take advantage of the opportunity.

It's not as if he doesn't have enough on his plate! So why would his transition team invite a few million more ideas? To listen to what the American public has to say. The words OPEN GOVERNMENT are on their site for all to see.

Who am I to think that I will make a dent in their millions of emails? ;-0 Well, I don't think I'm going to get a private conference with the president to discuss my personal concerns (though that would be very cool--and hopefully he'd overlook the fact that I gave my vote to a third party candidate out of principle, since I learned from various political and polling websites that he had my state's vote!), but it's just the act of writing letters as a citizen that makes me feel lucky to have the opportunity to write to them at all.

If something is truly bothering me, then, definitely, I would keep writing to the president, or any other person in a position of power and authority, until they couldn't bear another word from me! ;-) I wrote Vice-President Biden FOUR times last year on the same topic, while he was still Delaware's senator. Perhaps he finally replied because I stated that he wouldn't have to hear from me again on that topic because I was moving over the state border...and perhaps the senator(s) from my new state would be more RESPONSIVE? ;-0

Hubby asked me: how do you know HE wrote the letter? I don't know. I mean, there's a nice, computerized signature at the end of the letter! The words sound like him. It is a nice, though somewhat generic, 1 1/4 page letter that I will keep forever, especially as he is now the vice-president of the United States (my letter from him was received before then-president-elect Obama presented him as his running mate). He did include with his letter a copy of his editorial, co-authored by Richard Lugar, R-Ind., to The Hill, a Capitol Hill publication, introducing the International Violence Against Women Act that they wrote.

All I asked him to do was to consider following California's lead in having an online database of convicted domestic violence felons and repeat offenders: couldn't Delaware women have the opportunity to save themselves from a potentially life-threatening relationship as well? Having been the co-author of the federal Violence Against Women Act, he could send a strong message to the people of Delaware that VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS UNACCEPTABLE. Period.

When I found the Obama Transistion Team website, which invited the public to share its ideas and opinions with them, I jumped at the opportunity. As I wrote in my last post, I expanded on the letter I sent to then-Senator Biden, and asked them both to consider a national online database of domestic violence felons and repeat offenders.

I do not consider it an invasion of privacy to have the offenders' names made public when they made the choice to betray the trust of those whom they supposedly loved, and violated their partners' mind, body and soul. They should have thought about the consequences before they decided to lose their self-control.

Violence against half of humanity is simply unacceptable. You cannot go around declaring you're spreading peace and democracy around the world when you cannot even protect the female half of humanity on your own soil.

I sent three letters to the the Obama team on one day. Two, another day, and then two more, on separate days. I wonder how many I would need to send to get a reponse from them, not just an automatic e-mail thank you? ;-)

What topics did I address? Violence against women, the appointment of Admiral Blair to National Director of Intelligence, math and science education, mass transportation, healthcare, and consideration of appointing another female Supreme Court Justice (or two!) to balance the bench when he has the opportunity to do so.

Now that Obama and Biden are in the White House, I wonder if the transition team no longer exists? I'm looking on the web page and do not see new news on there! No matter...I can still find out how and where to write to them, if I want. ;-)

So, maybe I told a white lie to Vice-President Biden: he just MIGHT hear from me again! ;-)

You might ask yourself: why bother?

Why send letters that are likely deleted in a split second after they are read, if read at all?

I will tell you why:

Because I want to be a responsible citizen.
Because I think about the thousands of journalists around the world who live in fear of their lives for trying to inform the public about what is going on in their government, the journalists who have been already killed around the world for trying to report the injustices they see, and the countless journalists in this country who are losing their jobs. What is a democracy without many journalists and newspapers as our watchdogs?
Because I don't want to become a sour, cynical person. There's enough of them in this world. (was that second sentence cynical? ;-0)

Singular
cynic

Plural
cynics

cynic (plural cynics)

A person who believes that all people are motivated by selfishness.
A person whose outlook is scornfully negative.

--Wiktionary

That's why.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

"Hope" is the thing with feathers --
That perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without the words --
And never stops -- at all --

And sweetest -- in the Gale -- is heard --
And sore must be the storm --
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm --

I've heard it in the chillest land --
And on the strangest Sea --
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb -- of Me.

--Emily Dickinson, American poet (1830-1886)

2009, Bring on the Change!

2009-01-11T10:06:00.000-05:00

We must be the change we want to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi
Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)

That's the quote on my magnet stuck on my fridge, thanks to Oprah Magazine and their free cut-out quotes. ;-) I've seen variations of the quote with "you" instead of "we", or just starting with "be". I don't know which one is correct, perhaps Ghandi said it many different ways. Whatever the case may be, it's his message that's important!

Only nine more days until inauguration '09! The Obama Transition team has invited the public to lend its opinions and ideas for change, on its website. Do you have ideas or concerns for our future? (who doesn't?!)

Yesterday, in my efforts to be a more responsible and concerned citizen, I decided to take advantage of that opportunity and sent them three (!) separate emails within 20 minutes!

My first email regarded the appointment of Admiral Dennis Blair to the position of Director of National Intelligence. I asked the team: are they NOT concerned with this man's role in the massacre of East Timor's population by the Indonesian military during the 1990's? Didn't anyone do their homework? If he is appointed, then I don't see any CHANGE from the previous administration. He's got blood on his hands and so do we. I think his appointment is a very disturbing prospect for the USA, not to mention for people around the world.

In my second email, I asked them HOW they intend to enforce their agenda of making insurance companies cover pre-existing conditions for many people (like me!), and WHEN do they plan to do this? I think it's an excellent idea LONG OVERDUE.

And third, my concern is violence against women, an issue that makes my blood boil in an instant. This is my message to them:

***
To the Obama team:

Why not follow California's lead and establish an online database of convicted domestic violence felon and repeat offenders?

http://www.californiachronicle.com/articles/view/57959

Considering the data you provided on your website on violence against women, I believe you should take it a step further and give ALL the women of America a chance for a safe and happier future by having the option and opportunity to know whether they or the women in their families face dire consequences with someone who has a record of hurting other women.

Others may say it is an invasion of privacy of the convicted offenders. Well, what about the privacy of those who were violated in the worst way?? They should have thought about that before they lost control.

I have brought this issue up several times in letters to VP-elect Joe Biden when he was Delaware's senator. As we will now have two forward-thinking leaders who have a record of RESPECTING the female half of humanity via laws they have endorsed and/or written, they could send a strong message to offenders, would-be offenders, and society at large, that VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS UNACCEPTABLE.

PLEASE please consider having a national database of convicted domestic violence felons and repeat offenders. You can't go around the world saying you're bringing peace and democracy if you can't even protect the female half of humanity on your own soil.

***

I'm still looking through their agendas, seeing what will hit my nerve (!), so I can cook up some more emails to bombard them with! ;-) While the door is still open, I encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity: speak out! Let them know about your brilliant ideas! Or overwhelming concerns. Let 'em have it!!

* * *

I am also thinking about changes for myself. Within myself. The other day hubby and I got our CycleOps bicycle rollers. We got them so we could become better bicyclists. I'll tell you something: they're a lot more fun that I thought it would be, not as hard as I thought it would be (only because we're training in a narrow doorway to prevent us from falling over on the side!), and certainly got my heart beating and me sweating faster than I was on the Nordic Track (not that I was putting much effort into that!). But you really have to concentrate on these rollers: you are riding your bicycle upon three aluminum rollers--this ain't no stationary bike trainer! %-0

Now I have two activities to motivate me to exercise, sans taekwondo class (which I miss!): yin yoga in the morning and bike rollers for cardio! Ever since I began my yin yoga practice last fall, I've faithfully done it the first thing in the morning! Well, after I put my contact lenses in! But I kept it up during our Xmas trip to CA to visit my family--even in the airports we camped out at during our trip, albeit abbreviated sessions because the airport floors were icy cold, particularly at 4 a.m..

Another physical change I hope to bring about is better posture. Yeah, you know: hunched shoulders, occasional slouching? We found a book in the library the other day (first researched on amazon.com!) called 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back:Natural Posture Solutions to Pain in the Back, Neck, Shoulder, Hip, Knee, and Foot by Esther Gokhale. It's got awesome photos in there, but the best part is that it seems very simple and common sense. I don't have back pain, but it appeals to me because it's focus on posture is something that was a big part of my training in massage therapy school: posture analysis, though more in depth in anatomy, and physiology and from a massage therapy perspective.

I'm going to use myself as a guinea pig for Esther's program before I recommend it to future clients. ;-) Bad posture can lead to all sorts of aches and pains, including carpal tunnel syndrome, low back pain, forward head posture, etc.

* * *

An exciting new development ocurred the other day: a friend and I started a new group on facebook the other day: Women's Literature!

Why?

Why not?! ;-)

Dead white men aren't the only people who have produced great literature. I will say that I greatly admire and enjoy (and have re-read a few times already) the work of Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Dickens, Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, and others. And yes, they are dead white dudes!

But let's not forget that women make up half of humanity. More than half of humanity--we live longer! Why not explore the other half? I don't know what is taught in school these days, but I can only recall one female author I ever read in school: Charlotte Bronte. Her Jane Eyre is one of my all time favorite novels!

Must we only read the work of dead authors? No! That would be a pretty grim fate for writers if we had to: go ahead and write--but no one is going to read you until you kick the bucket!! %-0

We're including all kinds of writers, women writers; work by and for women. Fiction. Non-fiction. Everything in-between! We've been silent long enough!

I like to think of words written by writer/feminist/author Robin Morgan that I read on The Women's Media Center website (co-founded by her) where she wrote something to the effect of: "I'm not interested in being a collaborator in my own invisibility".

Neither am I.

Happy New Year! Here's to new and improved changes for 2009! :-D

* * *

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

--Gloria Steinem, American author and activist (b. 1934)

Facebook Addiction!

2008-12-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

addiction (plural addictions)

The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination.
A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma.
A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences.

--Wiktionary

Oh my! I hope that my participation in facebook will not damage, jeopardize, nor shorten my life! %-0

I have arrived at point where it is difficult not to log into facebook each day. When I don't, then I wonder what I've missed!

Mostly it's mushy, silly stuff. Like friends sending me virtual flowers, symbols, food, plants, and other gifts--though some of those things are meant to help save rainforests, feed a starving child in a war-torn area of the world, or help raise awareness and money for causes such as cancer research. Just click and go: you've done your good deed for the day! ;-0

Sometimes it's a friend request--someone who found me in the mass of people on that worldwide social network. Someone whom I've never met before. In fact, most of my facebook friends are people I've never met! But that's the benefit of a social network site: you can get to know people around the world who share similar interests. I enjoy meeting people from all over the world!

What I like best is the personal messages from friends. Out of a long list of friends, you're bound to get to know a few pretty well and become as close as you allow. Words can go a long way: traveling through distance and time. Why else do we still read literary classics during our school years and beyond?

Some people have a whopping amount of friends: hundreds! Or hundreds and hundreds! Olympic champion Michael Phelps has 1,745,206 fans on fb...as of today!

Or friends?

At what point does it become ridiculous? I don't need THAT many friends! %-0

Do I?

friend (plural friends)

A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection.
A boyfriend or girlfriend.
An associate who provides assistance.
The Automobile Association is every motorist’s friend.
The police is every law abiding citizen’s friend.
A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted
a friend of a friend
A person who backs something.
I’m not a friend of cheap wine.
An object or idea that can be used for good.
Google is your friend.
(colloquial, ironic, used only in the vocative) Used as a form of address when warning someone. You’d better watch it, friend.
Sales pitch from a preacher or presidential candidate (my addition!) My friends....!

(also from Wiktionary)

I have many good friends, some closer than others. I don't like to categorize, but it's true: I do feel genuinely closer to some than others. That in no way means the ones I'm less close to are not good-- not at all! %-0 Some friends are better communicators than others. Or want to keep in touch more often. ;-)

Much of that I attribute to WRITING. Exchanging thoughts. Picking each others' brains. Baring and sharing souls, your innermost thoughts. Communication does not always have to be verbal! Words are powerful!

Lately, I am finding myself closer to some new friends on facebook than people I've known most of my life. I daresay some would even understand me better than "older" friends, even though we have never met. Is it a crime to say some are more perceptive than others? I don't think so! Everyone has different gifts to offer. :-)

Living in the sticks has compelled me to become addicted to facebook. My pals are scattered across the country and the world. You know who you are if you're reading this! ;-)

How did people meet people from around the globe before computers where a common household item? I bet a lot of it started through pen pal clubs. After all, that's how I met the love of my life. :-) When I was little, I heard about a pen pal club on a kid's show called, "The Big Blue Marble". I was fascinated! I wanted to meet someone from somewhere else! I got a pen pal from Australia. I don't remember her name, but I think I have her old letter and photo in my temporary pen friend file (a.k.a. "flake file"!). I save all my written correspondence! Well, I saved most of it.

That's another story, which I shared last year (2/14/07) on my blog: I want to beat Napoleon. :-)

Going back to the top: if an addiction is a "pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences", then am I in danger of being involved in facebook? Hey, it wouldn't be just me--it'd be millions of people! %-0 Doped up on a social networking site!

All I can say is that I enjoy it very much. And I've met some very cool people on there as well. Fb may very well have it's own problems, I don't know what (being connected to Uncle Bill Gates, for one?), and I am aware I am exposing facts about myself everytime I add a new application to my profile.

If fb suddenly shut down, I'm sure another social networking website will arrive in its place. But as my email is on my profile page, I'm quite certain a few friends will find me!

Be A Friend

Be a friend. You don't need money:
Just a disposition sunny;
Just the wish to help another
Get along some way or other;
Just a kindly hand extended
Out to one who's unbefriended;
Just the will to give or lend,
This will make you someone's friend.

Be a friend. You don't need glory.
Friendship is a simple story.
Pass by trifling errors blindly,
Gaze on honest effort kindly,
Cheer the youth who's bravely trying,
Pity him who's sadly sighing;
Just a little labor spend
On the duties of a friend.

Be a friend. The pay is bigger
(Though not written by a figure)
Than is earned by people clever
In what's merely self-endeavor.
You'll have friends instead of neighbors
For the profits of your labors;
You'll be richer in the end
Than a prince, if you're a friend

--Edgar A Guest (1881-1959), American poet

STOP IT!

2008-11-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

TODAY is the UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

How is it that in the 21st century one in three women will be beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime, according to the United Nations? And also, according to the UN, women between the ages of 15 and 44 are at greater risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, traffic accidents, war and malaria?

Why do close-minded, religious zealots feel the need to throw acid in schoolgirls' faces? Why do the men who are "leaders" in a church establishment want to excommunicate a brave member for his open-minded respect for women? WHY are women STILL thought so little of today?

What are we women worth?

Everything! As good as any male on earth...equal as human beings, I'd say. We are all priceless. :-)

It hurts my heart every time I hear about a woman, or group of women, being violated. Abused. Harassed. Exploited. All of the above. I freeze whenever I hear the this sort of news or see it. As if I am held captive.

Either I have become more sensitive to these issues, or the ocurrence of violence has increased over the years. Certainly in war torn regions like Iraq, Afghanistan, and countries in Africa like the Democratic Republic of Congo--women have suffered acts of violence and abuse more than those living in non-conflict areas of the world.

Today, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon called on the world (leaders) to do more to address the abuse of women and girls. Abuse of half of humanity affects all of humanity. What's the point? Power control? Threatened loss of power? What does that power mean if a leader is incapable of respecting the women and girls he OR she leads? Many women are guilty, too, of being silent. Silently accepting that women deserve to be treated like second-class citizens. I am not innocent of this.

Last month, our US President Bush declared October as National Domestic Violence Month. It looks very good what he has on paper. But I wonder how much he truly believes it, considering that he doesn't have a record of supporting women's reproductive health rights. Does he know all the facts about domestic abuse? Do YOU know? I'm still learning!

I wonder who it is who patronizes underage girls in the brothels of third world countries? No, I don't reeaaally want to know who, but those people are as guilty as the ones who deceive young women and their families with the promises of a "decent" job. It's evil what they're doing. The end of slavery never arrived. It just continues in a different form.

If people can overcome their prejudices and vote for the first African American president in history, vote in several states to allow gay marriages, and in other countries which are historically MUCH more patriarchial than ours to elect a woman to the highest office in their land, then surely, everyone can learn that violence, abuse, sexual exploitation and all that it encompasses--IS UNACCEPTABLE. Inexusable. Can't they? Can't we? Punish the wrongdoers with a zero tolerance policy. That's how I feel about it.

I hope we'll have more enlightened leaders in my lifetime. Those who could help to educate those who might have outdated ideas about women.

We are human beings, too, worthy of respect!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead."

-- Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888), American novelist

One Small Step Forward for Women

2008-11-07T12:40:00.000-05:00

This election convinced me more than ever that I will never vote for anyone, female or male, who does not represent what I value. What I believe in, and what I am willing to spend the rest of my life making a stand for.

It sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Vote your values.

I have too much self-respect and respect for the women in my family--both those who came before me, those who come after me (nieces, cousins), as well as my friends, and for the feminine half of humanity, to ever insult them with a vote for those who would so blatantly disrespect women.

If you know me or have been reading my posts in the last year, you know that I am impassioned about women's rights. Senator McCain and Governor Palin forced a lot of women to wake up and speak out. That's always a good thing! ;-)

It wouldn't have mattered if everything else they had on their platform was agreeable to me: I still could never stomach having a president who has a long record voting against women's health regarding family planning and reproductive rights for women both in the USA and abroad, has voted against funding the VAWA, the Violence Against Women Act. Furthermore, how could I have voted for someone who thinks so little of women--that he ultimately decided to put a anti-woman woman on his ticket, thinking that women would fall for it?
It's insulting, to say the least.

Women's rights: that's my number one priority. The measure I use to evaluate each candidate whom I am asked to consider to represent me for public office. Everything else is secondary. We make up more than half of humanity. We help create life and bring life into the world. Mothers are the glue of most families. But we still experience rampant sexism. And many women around the world are still being treated like second-class citizens at best, regarded as commodities to be exploited in sexual slave trafficking or in inhumane working conditions conveniently overlooked by governments and multi-national corporations.

I don't know who scares me more: him or her? The governor. Yes, definitely.

Thank goodness for blogs like Women Against Sarah Palin, for thinking women (which included women of her own party) to express their deepest fears about what might be if such a ticket of anti-women leaders were to govern our country.

She has given me every reason to dislike her. And continues to do so. You'd think she had committed a personal grievance against me the way I rant on about her, even post-election. But as I mentioned above, when I think about women's issues, I think about the women in my family, what my elders have suffered in the past, and what I don't want my nieces to have to endure in the future. Misogyny. Sexism. All the attendant harmful attitudes and actions that come along with them. I start with my family, my friends, and then I think of ALL the women around the world.

First, she dissed our president-elect (whom I didn't vote for) by mocking his background as community organizer. Those are the people who do the thankless job of trying to get everyone together, educate participants to better their community. I'm all for community improvements and social justice. Community organizers get the shit done! Even from my extremely limited experience of having to organize board members of a city orchestra to come together at a meeting (getting them to agree on the date, and sometimes, agenda) and organizing volunteers for various activities gave me a taste of what it takes to organize so many people for a common purpose.

What does the governor have to say about community organizing now that her running mate's rival will be in the White House, thanks due in part to the skills and lessons he learned so many years ago as a community organizer?

The fact that she would force rape victims to pay for their own rape kits is unimaginable to me. Is it because she is so religious and opposed to abortion and that there is (I assume) contraceptives in the kit that she doesn't want taxpayers to pay for it? And she wants the victim to go through with an unwanted pregancy from someone who violently violated her? No exception for rape or incest? How in the world can she call herself a feminist, as she answered that, yes she is, when asked by a reporter shortly before elections (she didn't seem very convincing in her tone to me!)?

The library incident was the last straw for me. That she even wanted to remove books from the PUBLIC LIBRARY that were offensive to her personal, religious beliefs was a big, red flag to me. THAT was, and is, totally unacceptable to me. I'll read whatever I please! I actually did write to reporter at the Anchorage Daily News to ask about a detail re: the letters--it seemed so high schoolish to me, and she wrote me back, saying that apparently it had been done before: sending letters of threatened termination, asking the recipient to reapply, and answer WHY they should have the job.

I don't trust anyone who would dare to censor books. It assumes people are so stupid that they can't think for themselves, especially when presented with material that offends the person or people who wish to ban the books in question. I really despise that to the marrow of my bones.

And this morning my blood was boiling! :-( On the radio news show "Democracy Now", songwriter Gretchen Peters expressed her disappointment with the governor from Alaska who used her song "Independence Day", which was recorded by singer Martina McBride in 1994, for her own campaign rally. That song is about an abused woman. A very powerful song, I might add. How ironic that the governor used it (out of context), and is for women paying for their own rape kits. Ms. Peters did the right thing: she decided to donate the royalties from that that song to Planned Parenthood during election time--in the governor's name, to help women in need. ;-b (though I wrote in a past post that I have a few issues with PP. :-()

What's next with her? Why should I care? I don't even know her, personally! However, I do think she can be very mean-spirited when she wants to be.

It is women like the governor of Alaska who scare me. Women who would set women's rights back decades. To my mind: centuries! %-( I'm keeping an eye on her, and women like her. Men, too. They shouldn't be allowed to be in public office for that reason alone...that's my personal bias. Leave your misogyny and religious beliefs at home at let people live freely!

I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive police state. I will remain on guard until my last breath.

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph, English poet (b. 1932)

Day After Witches Brew

2008-11-01T10:44:00.000-04:00

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go/Back to their quiet graves below.

-Theodosia Garrison, American poet (1874-1944)

If you look out one of my bedroom windows, you can clearly see about six or seven graves across the way, beyond a little creek running in front of it. They are the final resting places of the original owner's family who lived on the property that we now live on; most of them died circa 1830.

In the spirit of Halloween (and I meant to post yesterday, but baked cookies instead), I was kind of hoping I could meet their ghosts. That they'd tap on our bedroom window to say hello. ;-0 Just to see what they looked liked. Is that morbid? Maybe I watched too many scary movies this past week? I'm just curious that's all! %-)

One night, hubby and I stayed up and watched "Halloween", and then the 4th and 5th sequels! I had no idea it had so many sequels. Eight or nine, including a remake of the original one. It was good for laughs, at best. Scary as always!

I still think psychological horror movies are the scariest movies, like "Psycho", "Raising Caine", and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". I don't like watching too much blood and gore, especially those that have disembodied head scenes. That would make me puke in a flash.

My little Halloween decorations are still on my windowsill and fridge. I haven't taken them down yet because I think they're awfully cute. Mice can be super cute in cartoon version. But not in real life. Well, maybe momentarily, but they no longer become cute when they've caused damage and/or pooped your property. The last three nights in a row, three mice have got caught in mil's kitchen. And the same trap in the same place. The second one let out a squeal and startled us! His back broke and it took longer for him to perish. The other two died instantly.

I prefer Tom and Jerry! :-)

No tricksters came by our home yesterday. We didn't have any candy to distribute anyway. There's NO light on these country roads! %-0 It is kind of fun to give candy out. The last time we did that was when we still lived in our house in DE. During the last couple of years we were there, door to door trick-or-treating seemed to be out of fashion, in favor of parties for kids, in the name of safety. That seems to be a reasonable thing to do, but if I were a kid, I'd still rather go door to door: there's more spookiness and fun there, in contrast to being herded into a party. I'm not a party person--that's not my style, so that's my personal bias. I like to go exploring on my own, or with a couple of close friends. ;-)

No fantastic, technicolor dreams last night, which is strange, considering all the horror movies I've watched each night in the last week. I dreamed I was scheduled to take a FRENCH class, for this morning! Why? I don't know! Are there secret travel agendas lurking in my mind? Was my five years of French not sufficient for whatever reason? Hey, if someone told me I had to be in class right now, I wouldn't mind--I love learning languages!

This year, I didn't don any of my Halloween earrings. I just didn't think of it until too late. I'll try to do better to get in the spirit next year!

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

-Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

How to Stay Motivated to Move My Body?

2008-10-23T11:43:00.001-04:00

It's been one month since I ended my taekwondo training and I miss it very much. I felt it was the ONLY thing that would force me to get moving as I am NOT the athletic type, nor am I one who can stick to any exercise program for a long period of time.

And it's been almost a month now since we've moved to our new home. Now the challenge is to move my body! %-0

Several days ago, I got tired of not doing anything about it, and went outside to do my tkd forms, walk around the property, and play tag with the front door by running up and down the front steps of my in-laws home (which is maybe a couple hundred feet from our cottage) a dozen times.

Yesterday, I forced myself to go outside, but this time I jogged around the entire property. I felt like a new woman! %-D I'm hoping I can keep this up at least every other day. It's hard cuz I like the social aspect of an exercise class, and my heart is still in martial arts--I worked so hard to get my black belt, after all!

But the reality is that we are now about 17 miles south of civilization (the nearest city), three miles from the main roads in our own town, and gas is expensive. Not to mention looking for work.

Am I a slave to fate? Not if I can help it!

I have my heart and mind set on finding further martial arts training in the future, but in the meantime, I'll have to try to remember my forms. I have to think of one of my heroines, Simone de Beauvoir, who wrote,

"I remained faithful to my declared intention of turning all that life imposed on me to my own purposes" (from Prime of Life)

Of course, this move was not imposed on me: I agreed it would be a good idea, not least being that it would be financially wise. There are pluses and minuses to every living area, however.

To counter the lack of civilization nearby (!), I bought The Yin Yoga Kit from half.com yesterday. I saw it in the public library near where we used to live and it looked intriguing to me, although I never got to check it out because someone else always had it. The massage therapist in me (I am one, after all!) likes the idea of yin yoga stretching the connective tissue, rather than conditioning the muscles, in the form of static stretching--holding the form for 3-5 minutes. It is supposedly a more meditative kind of yoga, and reputedly, the oldest form of hatha yoga. I'll have to do more reading on yoga, as I know little about it; I have discovered that there are some noteworthy books on the subject in our library system down here, so I am looking forward to that.

Hubby moved our Nordic Track into a spare room today, that is linked to a five-car garage. Fil wants to turn it into a fitness room. Our NT is the original model. No fancy digital stuff or heavy machinery to help stabilize your body: you gotta do all the work! We bought it used, years ago. Then I found another near-copy of our version lying next to the dumpster in our apt complex a couple years ago, with skis missing. Hubby's got the "new" version in the fitness room now. I'd rather run up and down the steps outside! ;-)

To make myself move, I've determined any activity I engage in must be on MY terms only, for some measure of long-term success, i.e.: continuity! It has to INTEREST me, and not seem like a chore! It must have some element of FUN and VARIETY, or I'll quit from boredom! The activity/ies must also incorporate the essential activities to meet my fitness goals of flexibility, cardio, and strength, or I'm wasting my time! %-0 I don't intend to ever become decrepit in old age.

I'll have to work on the social aspect in other ways, in regards to exercise and life in general. That's a big challenge in a rural area. Maybe mil and I could walk together some mornings; she's always been a great walker.

Thankfully, there's social groups I can bide my time with, like facebook. I just need to find real face time with women who have similar interests as I do.

And just maybe one day, I hope I can find a group of people to practice all the things that go along with taekwondo or another form of martial arts with...like sparring!;-)

In Defense of Women's Health

2008-09-19T10:54:00.000-04:00

I'm blazing hot! :-(

I have never signed a petition so fast and written my comments so quickly as I just did a few minutes ago.

This morning, I got an email from AlterNet.org:

Just three weeks ago, the Bush administration issued a rule that would limit the rights of patients to receive complete and accurate reproductive health information when they visit the doctor. It's more of the Bush administration's bad medicine, and we need your help to stop it.

This new rule could allow individual health care providers to redefine abortion to include the most common forms of birth control -- and then refuse to provide them. A woman's ability to manage her own health care is at risk of being compromised by politics and ideology. We have until September 25 to voice our opposition. Please, click here to help Planned Parenthood fight back by sending your comments to the Department of Health and Human Services:

And they give you a link to sign at the Planned Parenthood Action Center.

I have a few issues with Planned Parenthood, but this is too great for me to ignore. This is the template letter that the public can send to the Department of Health and Human Services:

I am writing to oppose the so-called "conscience" rule recently submitted by Secretary Leavitt. This regulation poses a serious threat to women's health care by limiting the rights of patients to receive complete and accurate health information and services.

At a time when more and more families are uninsured and under economic assault, we find our health care system is in crisis and our president taking steps to deny access to basic care. Women's ability to manage their own health care is at risk of being compromised by politics and ideology.

I was, and am, so outraged, I had to add my own thoughts:

And religion. This is like the Taliban: totally disrespectful of women. Think about the women in YOUR family for a moment. This rule has no "conscience"; it has no regard for the health of half of humanity. Some women need birth control for health reasons not related to preventing births but directly related to reproductive health. Would YOU deny something to your SONS, BROTHERS, FATHERS, and HUSBANDS if they needed something necessary for health maintenance? You certainly didn't turn a blind eye away from Viagra.

Don't be two-faced. Women are human beings, as worthy as men, not some commodity to be controlled by the religious and political ideologies of a few.

If the concern is abortion, banning access to contraceptives is not the answer. That is nothing but denying women their dignity and their health. It is INSULTING your mother, grandmother and ALL the women who came before them, and after them.

I haven't written this fast since the day I accidentally erased something off an ancient computer 20 years ago on the job and the executive director needed what I had just erased for a meeting she was attending. She needed it about 10 minutes. I re-produced the document it in 12 (not a bad memory, eh?), but when she left, my back was wet with sweat! %-0

I think I need to write more so I'll be a better writer. Be a better activist. Be better all-around.

There's always room for improvement. ;-)

I Need a Magic Wand

2008-09-13T18:11:00.000-04:00

Where's my fairy godmother?!

I'm supposed to be packing my belongings, but the past few days, I've had no desire to. I just wanna wave a sparkly magic wand across our apartment, where lots of twinkly stars and glitter will appear, like in a cartoon, and then, voila! (sorry, too lazy to find out how to make the accent mark above the letter!) EVERYTHING is packed and ready to go! Yay!

Nay.

Shucks. Everyday our apartment is looking like an obstacle course. Squeeze between these boxes. Step over those boxes. Re-arrange this box. Open that box and take stuff out. Throw out that clutter!

Oooh! Clutter. We're bad with paper clutter. But we also hate waste. The trick is to try and keep paper piles in NEAT piles! All it takes is the wind from the open window to ruin a pile!

The other night, I told my mom we threw out some stuff (but didn't tell her what we threw out.) In her usual "heh heh" motherly tone of voice, she said, "Well, if I were there, honey, I'd help you save some things."

I got a little loud. Right, Mom! That's how you never get rid of anything! ("I know, I know!") How you have food 20 years old lying around that you forgot about! (silence. oops!)

I come from a family of pack rats. I married a pack rat whose father is a pack rat. I can't say I'm not a pack rat...I reeaaallly try hard not to be one because too much stuff and clutter around does unnerve me (unless it's in other people's homes!). And it's our fault. But sometimes I feel like I'm being sucked into a sort of pack rat vaccuum. A pack rat black hole!

I have to remind myself it's only temporary. I do know myself enough to realize that I am a last-minute packer. This is, after all, the sixth time we've moved since we've been married. I should be a pro at packing, right? Think again...!

The problem is, the longer you've been with someone, the more you accumulate. Do I throw this thing out that we haven't used forever and hardly works? Why the heck did hubby save these ink pens that barely work: did he think ink would magically come out again? (Shh...I threw them out!)

Why so much scrap paper? So we won't waste paper! %-0 Paper is WEIGHT. Just think of books. My man is the one who does almost all the physical moving. Ideally, you want to distribute the weight, so you lessen the chances of injuring yourself--specifically, your back. Previously, I kept books with books, bathroom stuff with bathroom stuff, etc. Don't have everything scattered in twenty different boxes. Don't mess with MY organizing system! Hear me out, he implored: it makes better sense to distribute the weight, especially with heavy items like books.

I resisted at first: I'M the organizer here, dude! I don't want to be hunting for everything when we settle down in the new place! :-( So I said to him, as long as you label every box and try to keep kitchen stuff together, and bedroom stuff together, it should be okay. I don't want a roomful of "mystery boxes"! ;-0 He agreed to label everything, and only mess with his stuff, not mine. ;-)

I try to think of packing as a search and destroy mission: what archeological treasures will I find? (I found my expired passport during our last move!) What should I throw out, or give away to the Salvation Army--or drop off in the Planet Aid bin across the street from us? My favorite black dress shoes? They're twenty something years old! Scratched up and really, little support! (I have to think about posture issues, y'know, being a licensed massage therapist!). I mostly wore those shoes for formal ocassions: weddings or funerals. Am I waiting for someone to get married? To die? How morbid! Well, they're going out; I've got my money's worth out of them!

Same thing with clothes: some things I've never worn or once or twice. Too much clothes! So why do I always look at clothes in the clearance section of a store, and take clothes from my big sister and cousins?! For change! Sometimes, you have to throw nostaglia out the window! %-0

Search and destroy! Find it! Throw it out! Keep it! Keep moving through your stuff like a time bomb was going to go off so you can get back to doing what you'd really like to do, which is anything but packing!

Recently, a longtime friend of mine asked me why I did I move so often? There were valid reasons, I told her, beginning with: when I moved to another city to go to college, move out at the year's end, move to a cottage with a friend, move out because of a nasty asshole boyfriend, move to a bedroom in a family home, move out again because of the nasty asshole boyfriend, move to uncle's apartment building, move out when hubby transferred to a new college, move out from student housing when hubby dropped out and move to the east coast and live with his parents, younger bro and sil all under one roof. Then move into our own home for nearly a decade, then move upstate so hubby could finish his degree. And now, back down to the sticks, to be near family again.

Did you get all that? All told, it's about ten times total for me for the last 22 years. So to the friend who asked me that, that's why I moved so many times.

Is it a such a bad thing? Some people ask me that question in a very patronizing way, as if moving were a character flaw or a felony. :-( What about military families? They often move a lot don't they?

I think it all depends on how open minded, flexible, and adaptable you are. I try to see it as a challenge to become more adaptable. I certainly think I benefitted, by getting to know a greater diversity of people, becoming aware of my own biases, and becoming more tolerant and open minded towards other peoples' views.

Yes, moving is a pain in the butt. No doubt about that! But it's only a temporary process. The more organized you are, the less painful life will seem! ;-0 Right now, I have periods of highs and lows, regarding our packing process. Part of me wants to leave it until the last week. The other part of me says get off your bee-hind! I thought I had tried to resolve that issue by doing a little bit each day, since we came upon the sudden decision to move last month. It worked pretty well, but maybe because the moving out date is getting ever closer, my time to spend with my close friends here and the proximity to them is coming to a close--is weighing on my mind. :-(

Leaving behind friends and activities that I was involved in the last five years isn't the easiest thing. Easier for hubby, since he's a homebody. But moving was my decision also. I'll miss them terribly. And yet I am looking forward to a new start. A new lease on life. A new adventure in an area we're not familiar with, and know no one but his parents, who only live there half the year, off and on.

I just need a magic wand to make everything look neat, clean, and pretty again in the apartment so I don't have to stumble over our own mess!

Fairy godmother! Do you exist? Where art thou?! :-0

Burning Up!

2008-09-03T13:22:00.000-04:00

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

--Amendment I, Bill of Rights

I should be a pile of ashes from all the things that have been burning me up lately.

Things like independent journalists being brutally treated by police outside the Republican National Convention (and, I'm sure, the Democratic National Convention last week). Are they criminals? I don't think so! :-( Just listen to Democracy Now! and get a glimpse of the real world outside the political conventions.

The comments from the veteran groups (Iraq & Afghanistan, Vietnam) have been the most stirring...and shocking, in their sharing of their experiences.

I can't believe that last week, and likely, this week, protesters were confined to a caged area, like animals. Their area was designated as the "free speech area"! It all sounds like something that would be happening in a country like Myanmar/Burma, or some other developing country where human rights are ignored and scoffed at.

Police roughed up, detained, and arrested Democracy Now! staff and other journalists in the past few days, invading the places they were staying at (presumably without a warrant), and taking some of their equipment and/or taking the batteries out of their equipment. :-(( The NSA (National Security Adminstration) personnel stripped the journalists of their media passes into the RNC building. Literally ripped them off their necks. Is someone or some governing or corporate entity trying to hide something so as to prevent news from reaching people outside the convention? Interesting how the journalists and protesters are open and willing to speak the truth, and the opposing forces are brutal and secretive by not telling why their press passes are being taken or even if they will be returned or not.

All this excessive police force is very chilling, and counter-productive to what I thought they were supposed to do: maintain law and order. That sort of behavior will sow mistrust between law enforcement and the citizens on a regular everyday basis. Why go after journalists whose job is to report what is going on, and hopefully, bring the truth to the citizens?

I hope the protests will become increasingly LOUDER as the week goes on, and all the way to election day in November!

Normally, I don't care a fig for politics, though one might think I ought to since political science was my minor, and communication (with emphasis in print journalism) was my major in college. But this year, it's hard to avoid! And with my increasing interest in women's issues and everything related to it, I feel it is my responsibility to pay attention to what elected representatives are going to say because it is my future and everyone else's they're talking about!

I absolutely do not want an anti-women, war-mongering president in our White House. Not at all.

Last night, I read a New York Times article on the G.O.P.'s stance on abortion: they do not even allow exceptions for rape, incest, or the mother's health! So it won't bother them to have thousands of women die from back-alley abortions as in the decades (centuries?) before Roe vs. Wade?

Women are human beings, not pieces of property whose sole duty is supposedly to pump out puppies. It's THEIR choice how to live their lives. Uncle Sam should not enter a woman's womb, especially if he does not intend to go after the guy who fucked her up in the first place, literally and figuratively. :-(

Why is the burden always placed on the woman? Why is it only her fault for becoming pregnant? Is she really responsible for his uncontrollable, raging hormones?!

Between hearing about women-unfriendly stances by one party and the excessive police force against innocent journalists and peaceful protesters, I feel like we really are living in an Orwellian police state. 1984 was the scariest novel I've ever read, and I've read it more than once. In recent years, some unsuspecting citizens have found that if you say or write something criticizing Uncle Sam, or even participate in a peaceful protest, you could find yourself on the government's No Fly List.

All in the name of security? What about our civil liberties? When has might ever made right? I wonder if the people in charge ever heard of Ben Franklin, who wrote:

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

My wish is to live and prosper in a free, progressive country, not a regressive, police-state-like one! If my name were ever to show up on some godforsaken list, I would be even more determined to defend my civil liberties and those of my fellow citizens. Tooth and nail.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

--Amendment IV, Bill of Rights

Olympic Tube Watching

2008-08-16T00:28:00.000-04:00

I don't watch tv anymore, except when at other people's homes (which is limited to watching late night movies on their cable channels). Or when the Olympic Games come on.

I've watched every Olympics since I was a little girl. The first star Olympians I remember are gymnast Olga Korbut and swimmer Mark Spitz. That was in 1972, 36 years ago. I haven't missed an Olympic Games since! Well...actually, I don't remember the one in 1980--the one President Carter made the USA boycott...I don't remember if that was televised for USA audiences or not?

When the games come on, my eyeballs are glued to the tube for two-weeks non-stop. I can't get enough of it! Even for some sports I have no clue about (which is most of them), like equestrian sports.

This summer, I do have a bit of restraint on my Olympic obsession as I have a Maryland Jurisprudence Exam to take and pass on the 25th of August, the day after the closing ceremony. I found out I was registered to take the exam last Friday, the day of the opening ceremony, which I didn't watch. I need to pass this exam in order to get my license to practice massage therapy in Maryland. It has little to do with the field of therapeutic massage and everything to do with the laws and regulations regarding practicing in MD, hence, the fancy name "jurisprudence". So I promised myself I would NOT turn on the tube until I studied some. I slipped tonight, though. I'll make it up tomorrow and everyday until exam time! It's taken me all week to get used to the legalese in their 36-page code of laws and regulations; I use the Olympics as a reward for studying! %-)

I tend to enjoy the winter Olympics more, just because I love watching ice skating, downhill skiing, ski boarding, and other death-defying sports against Mother Nature's beautiful snow! But I do enjoy the swimming and gymnastics competitions.

Tonight, Mark Spitz was interviewed along with Michael Phelps. Wow. I hardly recognized the former w/o his moustache! Gray hair! But his face still looks youthful on my snowy tv screen. ;-)

I've been getting better over the years at utilizing commercial time to do other things, rather than vegetating even longer than I ought to, during the Olympics. I've mended clothes, sorted coupons, read an academic analysis of Simone de Beauvoir, and even studied for my MD Jurisprudence Exam during commercials. Thank goodness for the MUTE button! Especially for the political candidates' commercials against each other! %-(

I'm certainly not the athletic type, though my participation in taekwondo has helped me to appreciate being physically active (after a lifetime of traumatic P.E. experiences in school!). Naturally, I admire those athletes who accomplish amazing feats of physical prowess! I used to fantasize what kind of sport I'd spend my life in if I had been athletically talented: ice skating? swimming? skiing? martial arts? :-)

What I don't admire is when people show bad sportsmanship, such as when they lose a competition. Fortunately, that seems to be a rare occurence during any Olympics, though more common in popular sports like baseball or hockey.

Also, I get bothered by those who seem to talk about sports like it's the most important thing in the world. People have their obessions and will know every possible detail about what they love, but which is useless to everyone but themselves; I'm no different...it's just not in the sports realm. Pardon me...I could be getting on my soapbox here, so I better stop while I'm ahead...for now!

There was a time when I was still single and lived within walking distance of a public pool. I've always enjoyed swimming, even with my lousy eyesight. I timed myself: it was shockingly slow, compared to the times of the Olympic athletes!! I decided it would be unrealistic to make such silly comparisons...who did I think I was, anyway?! Just work on my own times and set a goal.

We're moving again next month, and where we'll be, there's a pool between our cottage and my parents in-law's much larger home. :-) The only way for me to get moving is to do something that is FUN for ME. Like taekwondo. I don't know what I'll do when I move, but I already announced to hubby that martial arts is what I like and enjoy and intend to do it as long as my body can do it. :-b I've had the best instructors...it's going to be difficult to find others of their caliber, I think. Not just in technical skills, but as in caring individuals, too. Next to fun, I would say the most important factor is that the instructors and students are absolutely respectful of each other. If I don't detect that when I go hunting for a new activity, I won't be able to stomach it because I know I will NOT be able to tolerate disrespectfulness. I wish I didn't have to leave my school and that there was a branch where we were moving to, as I would have LOVED to grow and advance further...I never wanted to leave, I kept telling myself over the years! %-0 But, sometimes circumstances in life dictate you must make difficult decisions, adjust, and leave your comfort zone.

I'll take it as a challenge to grow and learn in regards to our move, just like the athletes in the Olympics do when they compete. I'm especially inspired by swimmer Dara Torres, whose age seems meaningless to herself--she's got spirit!

* * *

“Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying-power of brawn and muscle”

--Mark Twain (1835-1910), American humorist, writer, and lecturer

Sexism Sells, But I'm Not Buying It

2008-07-25T12:24:00.000-04:00

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Recently, I added my name to The Women's Media Center's campaign Sexism Sells, But We're Not Buying It, a video and online petition campaign illustrating the pervasive nature of sexism in the media’s coverage.

The WMC meets with executives to share their concerns, and also welcomes its members to contribute their comments--which they also share with the top dogs. Today, I felt compelled to give them my thoughts:

* * * *

I believe the progress of a nation can be measured by how it treats its women. Based on recent and current media coverage of Senator Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Cindy McCain, we have a long ways to go.

Women make up half of humanity. And yet we are still greatly disrespected both here and abroad. Sexism in media coverage only serves to infect the public's mind that they should devalue women. Even the smallest, dumbest, most trivial comments can go a long way in keeping humanity from progressing forward.

WHY can't the media give as much attention to a woman's achievements as it does to her dress, hair, makeup, laugh quality, and other non-important details? WHY are you, the media, so afraid to view a woman as a strong, smart, human being? When a woman expresses her opinions in a forceful way, she's jumped upon by critics in the media--as well as presented in an almost disdainful manner. She's regarded as a bitch because those who report her comments when she speaks her mind aleady present her in a negative light, consciously or subconciously, due to their own biases.

I find it rather ironic that there are, and have been, women leaders of much more traditionally patriarchial nations; maybe their media doesn't have the luxury of wasting a lot of time on picking apart trivial details of a female candidate or the wives of presidential candidates.

Does the American media REALLY think the public cares about the way Senator Clinton laughs? What color her pantsuit is that she has on today? HOW does it KNOW that Mrs. Obama is an angry black woman? WHY does the country NEED to know about Mrs. McCain's assets or inheritance?

It seems to me there is a lot of anti-woman sentiment in the media and our government. As I stated in the beginning, I believe the progress of a nation can be measured by how it treats its women.

Fuzzy Leggies Reign Supreme

2008-07-20T22:35:00.000-04:00

Summer is the time to expose ourselves. Our bodies. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

But isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder??

My fuzzy (hairy!) leggies have been the object of hard, sometimes hostile stares from both men and women over the years. I imagine that they must think of them as horribly unsightly, or that I'm a lesbian, as if either of those are some sort of felony. :-(

What do I care what others think anyway? I've got better things to do with my time! I regret I fell to peer pressure in high school and regularly shaved them (what a pain in the ass!) to fit in. Shaving legs was a high maintenance job for me. I hated it. After 10th grade, when I wasn't required to take P.E. anymore, that was IT. I stopped shaving my legs and armpits. And haven't done it since. Well, maybe a few more years shaving under the arms, but that was still a nuisance, and not done often.

Hair is a natural part of the body. I just happen to blessed with more of it on my legs. My man likes my legs just like they are! ;-b Besides, he would be gravely disappointed with me if I were to shave my legs: I'd be wasting my time kowtowing to society's idea of "beauty" when I could be doing something more productive with my time, like enhancing my brain activity through reading or writing. I wouldn't be me if I shaved my leggies, he tells me.

It is sometimes difficult to bear the stares of others when I go out and about in shorts every summer. But I try to regard it as a sort of character building test: ignore the stares! be yourself! And I admit: I am rather envious of those women who have little hair or whose hair is so light it doesn't show much, and thus, there's no need for them to shave. Yet at the end of the day, I am still glad to be me! ;-)

What am I thinking when people stare or glare at my legs? Exactly this:

What the hell are you looking at them for?
Do you look at everyone's legs?
If they look that bad to you, don't look!
And for crying out loud, why are you being so shallow? :-(
Don't you know that a person's character traits are much more important than her physical traits?

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Hmm...that was a good movie! But when those adjectives are used together, it best fits describing peoples' character traits, rather than physical traits. Do physical traits have any value? Maybe as far as health and fitness are concerned, but beyond that, it seems all vanity and Hollywood to me. That a stranger would stare at my fuzzy leggies says more about her/him than me, I'd say. In terms of character traits, their disdain borders on ugly.

Can I consider myself a liberated woman, then, for refusing to bend to society's ideas of beauty? I think I ought to, self-proclaimed feminist that I am. :-) It is liberating not to follow the crowd! My skin is fair, my hair is black. And my hairy legs are the most blatant, public, and physical aspect of my nonconformity, even if the public only sees them three months of the year. (I do have to protect them in the cold months. ;-)) Oh yeah, I've got pretty bushy eyebrows, too. I do tweeze them occasionally as they are more visible, so perhaps my vanity gets in the way there. And I've got hairy arms, as well (don't get lost in the forest!). I certainly don't shave them!

Others have written about hairy legs, online: Hairy-legged feminist wrote some wise words about them, and an Ask Yahoo! person answered the question to "When and why did women start shaving their legs?" Blame advertisers! Or insecure women.

The hairy women I've seen in public seem not to be bothered by their fuzziness. Why should they be? If they were concerned, they wouldn't let the public see their hairiness. Which leads me to believe they've accepted themselves, and say to hell with those who are disturbed by it! To me, they seem more natural human beings--and perhaps more true to themselves, rather than those flowing out of the tanning salons.

I am who I am. Proud of it, too. ;-) And if my honey likes me and my parts just how they are, then so be it. What reason on earth is there to remove the hair on my legs or any other part on my body? What kind of message would I be sending to myself if decided to suddenly start shaving again? If I did that, I feel I would be devaluing myself, going against what I believe in--that I should be true to myself; I'd really fall prey to Madison Avenue (advertising), and become weak-willed because I'd have caved in to society's expectations of what women's beauty should be.

There's no way I can do that to myself. Absolutely not.

Besides, I've read that there are men out there who think hairy women are sexier! :-)

“The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.”

--Francis Bacon, Sr. (1561-1626)
English lawyer, philosopher

Knocking Down Doors

2008-07-08T22:28:00.000-04:00

I have an itching desire to take over the world.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!! %-D

Why, you ask?

I can't say exactly, but I think my burning passion can be attributed to a combination of factors: being silent throughout my life and getting severely tired of that, a growing indignation at the injustices directed toward women--with impunity, here and abroad, and a growing confidence about myself in that I am more sure than ever of my values and beliefs--as well as taking physicist Richard Feynman's words to heart: what do you care what other people think?

Communication was my major in college, but I think many forget that communication doesn't always have to be verbal. It can be conveyed through body language. Or through art and music. Or it can be written.

To date, I have written three letters to my state senator regarding the status of women here and abroad. On his website, he states that he can only reply to his fellow state citizens. I called him to it in the last letter, mentioning that I had hoped to hear from him and not a staff member. Today was the third letter I sent to him, via his website. I have a burning question for him and I intend to keep bothering him until I receive a response.

Last week, I wrote a loud letter to our state public transportation peeps denouncing their short-sighted bus changes. They cut off my main artery, so to speak: the main bus I take. Now I have to take two buses to get to where I want to go. They did not make-up for this in any way: most people have to rely on another bus route that is very often unreliable to connect to my main bus, and for frequent evening riders, there's a long wait for the unreliable bus at the new hub to take us back into town. I thought that they would at least extend the hours of the new trolley, but they didn't, and it's been a headache for many. :-( I asked them if they didn't care about the safety of their riders? If so, then prove it by making the other bus' schedule more amenable to my bus and/or extending the hours of our trolley. It is SO frustrating!

If I don't hear from them, I will keep bothering them, like I have my state senator. There are two public hearings each year to air out with the public transportation people. I resolved today to show up at the next one with my list of grievances (and solutions!) because I missed my taekwondo class. The bus was way late and I couldn't wait for it any longer; it would've made me miss the connecting bus. I used to have a direct connection right outside my apt complex. No more. :-((

I've been stoking my activist volcanic fires in the last year by voraciously reading as much as I can manage. When I find a gem, I like to leave my two cents' worth on amazon.com. ;-) Why not? Whether I'm the first reviewer or the 15th, I like to challenge myself to write as clearly as possible. In being one of many reviewers, I want to say something different...or at least, the same thing in a different way!

Lately, I've taken an interest in philosophy, in order to think more clearly, better argue my viewpoints, as well as listen more critically to what others say. Of course, part of my reason to study philosophy is to become an activist in my fields of interest. The other part is my heroine and inspiration, Simone de Beauvoir, whose work I am obsessed with.

I don't particularly envision myself as one who would jump on a soapbox and make public speeches, but who knows?! I think I'd probably be more effective in the writing realm. Write powerful, subversive pieces to shake up the masses!! ;-D

I am inspired by those who remained activists for social justice throughout their lives, like Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Alice Paul, and many others. They never tired of their work...they had fire in their bellies! Remember, age is only a number.

I want to be active until my last breath. :-)

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

--Howard Thurman (1899-1981)
American theologian, author, philosopher, educator, and civil rights leader

Highly Sensitive Person

2008-06-15T17:34:00.000-04:00

I like taking quizzes that I know I won't be graded on, like a lot of the silly ones on Facebook: What Kind of Disaster Are You? (avalanche!), What Dictator Are You? (Theodora, of the Byzantine Empire!), What's Your Best Quality? (loving!), etc. !

But I also like taking more serious ones, such as on health and personality traits because I think it's very important to know thyself and what you stand for, lest some snake oil salesperson/politician tries to sell you something you're not sure about. The most recent test I took came from a book called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

According to it, I am probably a highly sensitive person. For instance, I answered true to the following statements:

Other people's moods affect me.
I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells (yes,
that's me!), coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.
I have a rich, complex, inner life.
I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
I startle easily (just ask my man!)
I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment, I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood (definitely me!).
I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art.
I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations (only in recent years).
When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise (not all the time...I think I'm getting better!;-)

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

What a package deal I am!;-D

According to Aron, who is herself an HSP (highly sensitive person) and has done a great deal of research on the subject, "Most people walk into a room and perhaps notice the furniture, the people--that's about it. HSPs can be instantly aware, whether they wish to be or not, of the mood, the friendships and enmities, the freshness or staleness of the air, the personality of the one who arranged the flowers....Our trait of sensitivity means we will also be cautious, inward, needing extra time alone. Because people without the trait (the majority) do not understand that, they see us as timid, shy, weak, or that greatest sin of all, unsociable." (pp. 4,5)

I am glad she added, "You forget that you belong to a group that has often demonstrated great creativity, insight, passion, and caring--all highly valued by society." (p. 5) :-))

A classmate in high school once said aloud to me before class started, "I think you're STUCK UP!" because I never said anything. I was deeply offended, and blurted out, "NO, I'M NOT!" %-0

That's one area where one could say I am sensitive: being told I'm something that I'm not! I prefer to say it's my pet peeve: people who aren't very perceptive at all and decide to play shrink on me. That reeeeaallly grates on my nerves! Get off your high horse, pleeeze! >:-(

I had a coworker who said to me one day (shaking her head), "J, I don't think you'll ever be strong-willed!" I cannot remember the circumstances that caused her to say that, but I'll tell you something, that burned me up! You obviously don't know me, dear coworker! Blind, unperceptive bitch! I must have forgiven her for that slight because a year later, after I left that office, I invited her to a symphony concert (I worked for an orchestra as a slave dog administrative assistant) and had two free tickets.

Strong smells really get to me. I wrote about this last year on one of my posts, regarding my doggy nose. If an aroma or odor is overwhelming, I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day. Not to say I don't appreciate scents, but I've had to move to the back of the bus because some ladies have doused themselves in perfume and it made me want to puke. The same goes for offensive foot or body odors; I don't go looking for these smells, they find me! Or more precisely, my nostrils.

I know that I sense other people's moods a lot quicker than my friends. If I mention it to them, they give me a look of wonder! %-0 What? Really? I suppose moods can also be translated into more modern day terms, like energy. "So-and-so was giving off bad energy today!"

Case in point: last year, I interviewed with a chiropractor who put me and his staff on edge. He could have been David Carradine's character in "Kill Bill"! Looked like him and acted like him! %-( A close friend of mine who is also a massage therapist told me he gave off too much bad energy. That might sound like voo doo to your average joe on the street, but it took me the whole rest of the day to recover from him. He was rude, talked twice (and cursed) on his cell while interviewing me, and was just hostile in general. Plus, he had a low opinion of massage therapists anyway, evidenced by his offer of very low wage and haughty manner toward me and other comments he made to staff while I was there.

I like my solitude. Reading takes my mind to many great places. ;-) I crave my quiet time. And I like my sleep. Rest is always a good thing! Now, after having read this book, I don't feel guilty for extra naps or an extra hour or two of sleep, which to others may be deemed as pure laziness. If I don't take care of my body, who will?

Music is sweet salve for my soul: I often get lost...swept away in something I like. It's like my mind is a sponge, reflecting whatever the mood a piece is conveying, be it opera, Bach, Beethoven, Bartok, big band, the Beatles, or the Bee Gees! %-D I have often stayed an extra few minutes in a store (especially on hot summer days) just to hear the end of a song!

Perhaps I should just say that I am a sponge. Like tofu. I absorb whatever flavors, scents (and moods!) are out there, for better or for worse. It's why I have always cherished my quiet times and my beauty sleep: to balance out any excitement, positive or negative, that I may have experienced that day. Now I understand. :-)

"Worship the gods if you wish, but first, know thyself."
-- Socrates

Bloodsuckers! Episode II :-(

2008-05-31T17:34:00.000-04:00

This morning I found a lone bloodsucker on my PILLOW when I awoke: a teensy weensy bed bug!

So it's been crawling bloodsuckers rather than a flying ones that have been wreaking havoc on my body in the last month! Their itch is intense--I can hardly stand myself.

I'm almost surprised I caught it; they're known to feast in the dark, before dawn. The one I caught this morning running from me on the pillow must have hung around the buffet table a bit too long, as hubby put it! In broad daylight, no less. It's in a glass jar now sitting between the computers, for our morbid fascination. ;-)

I can't believe such a tiny thing can cause such misery! Hubby only got bit a few times in the last month, most recently last night. But he hardly even notices it. The itch is overwhelming. Last weekend, I got NO sleep at all because the itching drove me nuts, even after I had taken antihistamine and applied a topical cream to it. If someone had taken my arms away, I would have been happy, it was that bad (it made me cry like a baby!).

I had been just sitting on the bed reading Saturday night when I felt a tingling burning and itch on the inside of my arm...yet I didn't see anything but red bumps...about 20 of them in an elongated cluster. Like I had chicken pox all over again. Yech! Before I knew it, it itched like the dickens--and combined with the half dozen or so on my left arm, plus a mess of them on my shoulders, I got no respite all night.

Sometimes the itch is SO intense I'm beside myself. I can't stand myself and want to crawl out of my own skin. Can't concentrate or anything. I have a high pain threshold, but absolutely NO itch tolerance at all! %-(

Tonight, hubby put sticky tape all around the bed, hoping they'll stick to it when they come after us. I did wash the sheets in hot water, wipe the mattress down with Mr. Clean, and vaccum already. It might need lord knows how many more sessions of that.

I hope my prescription anti-itch cream comes soon; I was too impatient to wait in the long long at the pharmacy for it the other day, so I called the mail order pharmacy the next day. It's hard to do ANYTHING when you feel like you want to jump out of your skin. :~-(

This afternoon, it didn't help that when I was trying to purchase airline tickets online for xmas, the site didn't let me complete the purchase right around the time my itch was completely overwhelming me! Thank goodness hubby had the patience to finish it all for me.

Crawling bloodsuckers or flying bloodsuckers, I hope I don't turn into a vampire before Halloween!

* * * * * * *

Appetite

I want you to be my victim!
Yeah!
All i want is you.
Your skin so white,
whets my appetite,
your dreams, i dream,
in your bed at night.
And i sleep by your frame,
curling around my finger,
with hooks in my brain,
Blood in your veins,
slides down my thoat,
pooling inside,
now i feel you again!
This bliss,
this perfect
and passionate kiss.
Marks us in red.
I life well fed.

by Vatishi

(that last line: A life well fed, or I LIVE well fed??)

Bloodsuckers! :-(

2008-05-09T18:28:00.000-04:00

I'm being eaten alive! And I can't even see what's biting me.

I must really have delicious blood. This morning I woke up to seven fresh bites. I am not a good person to bite because I have a very low threshold for itching. Nasty flying vampires! %-(

It's a wonder I still have any blood flowing, given that I've been mercilessly bitten since childhood. My mom always told me to rub the bite with alcohol, but the relief from itching is only fleeting. Since I moved to the east coast 14 years ago, I've also got bitten by gnats--and the itch from their bite last DAYS, not hours, like a mosquito. Once, my former doctor didn't believe me when I told him I was bit by a gnat. That really annoyed me; I'm the one the squished the bloody booger (literally!) on the site where it just sucked my blood, somewhere on my leg.

I used to hate ALL insects, but I know they're not all completely evil. I have a fondness and fascination with ladybugs, fireflies, woolly worms, fuzzy catapillars, bright butterflies, and yes...even ants! But I'll save them for another post. This one is dedicated to spewing my anger toward the flying kind that bite or sting.

I despise them SO much that I regard any person who I perceive as mean-spirited and treats others badly as an insect. An insect! How much lower can I go to describe them and their behavior than to compare them to creatures I loathe?

If I happen to have the misfortune to be the target of someone's bad mood--particularly from a male stranger who doesn't know how to keep his balls and his brains where they belong, I feel strongly compelled to shout, "You ought to be glad I'm not an insect!" Y'know, like a praying mantis. The female bites off the head of the male. Yuck!

Although spiders aren't insects, black widows do pretty much the same thing. Males in the insect world really have it bad! Slam, bam, thank you, SIR! Thanks for the fun, for fulfilling your biological duty. Have a nice afterlife! %-0

I often find myself waking up in the middle of the night itching my bites with ferocious intensity. That's not a good thing, but sometimes even the hydrocortisone cream I use for the itch isn't very effective.
The itch is intense and so is my dislike for the bloody, biting boogers.

This afternoon, I went online and searched for natural remedies. One was a mixture of vegetable oil and pure lavender oil. I like lavender (just a hint), having just bought a jar of lavender-scented massage cream to use on my clients, but I forgot how powerful pure oil can be! Whew! %-0 Hubby closed the bathroom door. I suppose it helped stop the itch, but not for very long. The scent was overpowering. Way too strong for my sensitive, doggy nose. I later went over my bites with alcohol to try to take out the lavender scent, but there's still a little bit lingering on me. I get sick to my stomach if a scent is too strong.

I'm stuck with the OTC remedies, for now, until I can find a less smelly alternative. Got any ideas, anyone?

Avon had an insect repellant lotion that I bought several years ago. I wonder if it's still effective? I confess I've had it since the summer before my youngest bil got married--I remember I've had it since then because I was at a party and my mil's late best friend spilled the beans and told everyone he was engaged! I sat there amongst the others, smothered in Avon's strongly scented lotion which I could barely tolerate--but virtually unbitten by the swarming mosquitoes, while everyone was getting jiggly and itchy from bites. It was quite pleasant to not get bitten for once!

What are these flying creatures dining on these days that make their venom so powerful? Or am I just getting more sensitive with time? I have a much higher tolerance for pain than for itch.

I got my first sting from a tiny yellowjacket a few years ago. That hurt all day long! %-( That thing was so small it was almost cute! Hubby and I put it in one of those tiny plastic take-out soy sauce containers so I could study it, with the help of the internet. Is that weird? I wanted to find out what it was that caused my neck to burn and sting all day, that's all! Unbelievable how such a tiny thing could have such a big effect. Thank goodness it wasn't an adult-sized yellowjacket. The size alone would have scared the heck out of me!

What's worse? More than a half-dozen unbearably itchy bites distributed throughout your body that lasts for several days or one nasty, burning sting that lasts all day long? They're both unwanted, as far as I'm concerned.

How do I make myself less savory to these flying bloodsuckers? They never ever seem to bite hubby. He says they've had their fill of him! They want new, tasty Chinese food! It'd be nice if they'd have their fill of me someday. I hope so, but it doesn't seem like it, after all these years.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

2008-04-15T23:47:00.000-04:00

I turned one year younger today! ;-) According to Wikipedia,

Age may refer to:

The length of time that an organism has lived:

aging, for the social, cultural, and economic factors of age and aging.
senescence, for the biology and science of aging.

A period of history:

Other:

Age, Mie, a district in Japan
Agé, a god from the mythology of the Fon people; the son of Mawu-Lisa;
One of the D'ni Ages, the fictional universe in the Myst series of games.
Agenore Incrocci, an Italian screenwriter.
Age (Model theory), the class of all finitely generated structures which are embeddable in a structure A in mathematics.
âge Japanese company
The Age is a daily newspaper published in Melbourne, Australia.

AGE is a three-letter acronym that may refer to:

Advanced Genealogical Exploration Services, an internet genealogy family tree service
Advanced glycation endproduct, a class of spontaneously modified molecules whose modification begins with an initial glycation
A. G. Edwards, a brokerage firm
Agarose gel electrophoresis, a method used in molecular biology
American Aging Association (abbreviated AGE, although not an acronym)
Applied general equilibrium
Arterial gas embolism
Agricultural & General Engineers, a group of companies
Assemblée générale des Étudiants des FUNDP, a Belgian student association

I had no idea AGE had so many meanings!

I don't feel my age. I don't think I ever have! It's only a number to me.

What makes some people young at heart, and others, not?

I don't know, but I want to be young at heart; I don't worry about the others who aren't!

When are you really old?

Past 100! Or when YOU think you're really old. :-(

Where is it written that you are supposed to act in such-and-such way at any given age?

Nowhere to my knowledge. Maybe in child-rearing advice books?

To my mind, when you're an adult and other adults may be disdainful of your youthful ways, I think that they're probably too locked in their thinking and acceptance of societal expectations. And perhaps too afraid to be themselves. ;-)

Why do people--especially those younger than me, talk like they're old farts when they're not?

Who knows! They've already aged themselves! And since they think they're old, they'll start acting old, and people will treat them as such.

How do you age gracefully?

Laugh a lot and hang around those who make you laugh. ;-D And try to do the common sense stuff like eating healthy and exercising.

There you have it: my Q & A pearls of wisdom! :-)

A dear friend emailed me this piece from comedian George Carlin recently and I'd like to share it here.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' *'*I'm four *and a half!' *You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm *gonna be *16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You *become* 21. Even
the words sound like a ceremony. *YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! *

But then you* turn *30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You *BECOME *21, you *TURN *30, then you're *PUSHING* 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you *REACH* 50 and your
dreams are gone.*

But wait!!! *You *MAKE it *to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you *BECOME* 21, *TURN* 30, *PUSH *40, *REACH *50 and *MAKE it *to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you *HIT* 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You *get into *your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
you start going backwards; 'I *Was JUST *92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! *
________________________________________________

Back to me...

There's more, but I'll save it for another time!

I told someone once that I was OLD. That was not the right thing to say, since I knew in my heart it wasn't true! At the very least, I could have said I was oldER.

It's only a number, it's only a number...age! I'm not getting older. I'm getting BETTER! That's what my birthday card from my dearest friend said, this year. :-)

* * * * *
Indian Summer

In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

--Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

International Women's Day is TODAY!

2008-03-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

Mother Nature is howling outside. Up to 40 mph, according to weather.com. Or 65 mph, if I am to believe the radio announcer.

Methinks it's a sign that she's not altogether pleased with the status of women around the world today. ;-0

And today, March 8, is International Women's Day: "the global day connecting all women around the world and inspiring them to achieve their full potential. IWD celebrates the collective power of women past, present and future."

Oh, I know it's wishful thinking on my part to connect Mother Nature's whims and the status of women, but I find it fitting and convenient on this important day. A day where we can celebrate the women in our lives and the many strides women have made the world over, as well as to be acutely aware of the injustices committed against women, often with impunity.

I think about my mom and my sister, who have given me so much love and guidance in my life (even if sometimes didn't appreciate it at the time!). I appreciate that they continue to share with me their wisdom, humor, sorrow and everything in between. And I know that I have derived some of my inner strength from them, having watched them endure some of their own struggles while I was growing up. I only have one mom and one sister, so, I don't want to share with you too much how special they are, lest I make anyone abnormally envious. ;-)

Mom and sis, cheers to YOU!

And while I'm at it, let me say cheers to my mil and sils, too. :-)

IWD is an official holiday in some countries: Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. According to the IWD webpage, "The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers."

I didn't even know this day of recognition for women existed until last year! Worldwide, from Africa, Asia, Europe, the Middle East and across America, there have been all sorts of events to celebrate the achievements of women, and also recognize the need for women to have equal access to education, work, pay, legal and basic human rights.

Violence against women is the main thing that makes my blood boil. It's something I've seen and experienced myself (if you include verbal abuse). It pierces my heart and makes me cry every time I hear or read something on the news about women being violated. :-( Doesn't matter if it's the hundreds of thousands of women who have been raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo or a college student who was attacked near the university a mile away...it's a violation against humanity. One act of violence affects not only the victim, but those around her: family, friends, and community.

You may recall in another post that many years ago I had befriended a woman who had been raped at gunpoint while in college. I observed how she and her family interacted with each other, as well as how she interacted with my friends, who tried to be a friend to her. In a nutshell, it seemed always to be an uneasy relationship with all involved; we just never knew when she was going to explode. I don't know that all rape victims respond to life the same as she did, but I realized how an act of violence on just one person can adversely affect everyone around her. :-(

During the 2000 census, the United Nations Population Fund published a sobering report on Violence on Women and Girls and recognized it as a major health and human rights concern. These issues of gender-based violence and all that it wreaks upon the lives of women still exist, unfortunately; otherwise, they would not need to be mentioned anymore.

On a brighter note, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon last month launched a multi-year campaign to end violence against women. :-) Moreover, at the UN commemoration of International Women's Day, he called for greater investment in women and girls (IWD's theme this year) to help further economic growth and advance development. He sounds like forward-thinking leader...I hope so.

Women are half of humanity! I love reading about women in power and/or of influence, which may include writers and artists. :-)

The women in history whose biographies and autobiographies I've read have struck a chord within me; they were independent-minded and often went against the grain--they defied societal expectations and trusted their gut in pursuing their goals. For that, I admire them greatly.

I've read about many influential women over the years, and am sure to read many more in my entire lifetime. :-) The women who have made a deep and lasting impression on me are: Hildegard of Bingen, Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, and most recently--Simone de Beauvoir (my favorite!).

I'll bet there's a Simone, Hildegard, Harriet and an Eleanor lurking in the shadows of the oppressed women and girls on this planet Earth who are starving for an education. They deserve to have basic human rights, legal rights, educational and work opportunities, and freedom from fear of violence with impunity, as many women in the western world enjoy today. They deserve to have choices. Their leaders and communities just haven't given them a chance...yet.

May it be in my lifetime. :-)

Cheers to all the women of the world, wherever you are!

* * * * *

The Laughter Of Women by Lisel Mueller

The laughter of women sets fire
to the Halls of Injustice
and the false evidence burns
to a beautiful white lightness

It rattles the Chambers of Congress
and forces the windows wide open
so the fatuous speeches can fly out

The laughter of women wipes the mist
from the spectacles of the old;
it infects them with a happy flu
and they laugh as if they were young again

Prisoners held in underground cells
imagine that they see daylight
when they remember the laughter of women

It runs across water that divides,
and reconciles two unfriendly shores
like flares that signal the news to each other

What a language it is, the laughter of women,
high-flying and subversive.
Long before law and scripture
we heard the laughter, we understood freedom.

How to Deal with Nasty Neighbors?

2008-03-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

We've been blessed with obnoxious neighbors.

They live below us and have likely raised booming their repetitive music to an art form: they've caused our apartment and its furnishings to VIBRATE. :-(

You know the volume of someone's music must be high if you can feel vibrations through your computer KEYBOARD, as well as feel vibrations through your SHOES while you're standing in the kitchen and it's being boomed from their bedroom!

One warning from the police--who we haven't called...yet, hasn't scared them from causing further disturbances. Nor have several formal complaints filed by us through the apartment management office dissuaded them.

WHY do people feel the need to blast their noise for the whole world to hear? And to KEEP doing it in retailiation for each complaint lodged against them? It's RUDE, and quite immature, to put it mildly. :-(

We have asked them three times in person to please lower the volume. The first time hubby approached them, they were very hostile, which helped to establish in our minds that these people may be dangerous to deal with.

He was greeted with, "Why do you have to knock on the door like the PO-leece?" (Because you had your music blasting so loud, I had to repeatedly bang on your door, dumbass!) Oh? They know how the police knock on their door, do they?

I think they must regularly fry their noodles with something nasty. Hence, our hesitation to call the cops on them, though we were sorely tempted the other night (we called the office instead); they might have a worse retaliation in mind than annoying us with loud music to vibrate our walls. I've had to deal with druggies before in a customer service setting, next to a subway station no less. They're menacing and unpredictable.

Normal people apologize and try not to disturb their neighbors again. Our neighbors living below us don't give a shit.

I would have liked to have seen their faces when the two "PO-leece" officers knocked on their door a couple of weeks ago! At that moment, their music was blasting through the whole building, probably in response to our third formal complaint. Perfect timing! And it was the maintenance man who called someone to call the police on them. He had even less tolerance for the racket than we did...and he told me he left the front door to the apartment building open so the police could come right in. ;-)

The second time we knocked on their door, a different person answered. Maybe a friend of theirs? He wasn't hostile like the other two, and they DID lower the volume, as it was 1 a.m., way past the 10:30 p.m. deadline for loud noises. The third time--which was after we left a note, the bitch half of the couple answered, and was, of course, hostile. Her gorilla partner is equally unapproachable.

They weren't so bad when they moved in last summer. And they stopped playing loud music late in the evenings last fall. But now, they really just don't give a flying fig, and I'm sure they would dance gleefully if we were to move out in disgust.

However, we've been here nearly five years. Much longer than them.

This evening, when they began to play their game of blasting the same music they've played since last summer, for who knows how long (sometimes its 20-30-40-50 or more minutes), hubby got fed up and left to go the university computer lab to concentrate. I stayed put, feeling indignant, because I believe that WE should not feel compelled to leave our home. WE didn't do anything wrong...they're the ones who are causing unnecessary disturbances.

Besides, I was BOILING inside, intending to write a seething, scathing, vitriolic post on our inconsiderate neighbors!

Wouldn't you know it: they stopped about 10 minutes after hubby left. I emailed him to say they had stopped...for now. He ended up coming home an hour later, before he even read my email. :-)

And now, a new development has occurred this week: construction sounds past 10:30 p.m. Yes! Drilling and hammering! Did they think we needed some variety? :-(

I suppose most everyone has an annoying neighbor, to varying degrees. At present, we're just trying to follow office procedures and build a paper trail, to cover our butts. In our most recent complaint to the apartment management, we stated very clearly that if this matter wasn't resolved within a month, we would begin looking for another community to live in, in our city.

The day after, as expected, the assholes below us had their noise thumping, so we called the office, put the phone receiver to the floor, and let the office staff person share our (almost) daily joy. She was shocked. Then she told us what we could do next, since we called saying we wanted to move.

Write a letter to management stating your intention (moving) and reason (unresolved issue with neighbors), she told us, then management will have you come in for a meeting to negotiate options. Like what? Moving US to another of their apartments? I don't think so! WE are acutely aware of the penalties of leaving before our lease is up; however, they'd better come up with something reasonable or they'll lose a loyal tenant when they're already desperate to fill spaces. And they know it.

We haven't written THE LETTER yet. We're waiting for just the right dramatic moment from the dimwit occupants below us before we pounce on them and management in one lucid letter.

Last fall, hubby blasted some twangy country music he thought they'd likely hate (given the stuff they boom to us), and put the radio speakers toward the floor! I don't think it had much effect on them, since I'm sure they have a much better sound system than we could ever care to have. But it was amusing at the time. :-)

I was thinking I wanted to make up a Top Ten list of ways to annoy your neighbors, in the spirit of David Letterman, but I can't come up with ten things to really irritate the alien invaders who live below us.

Besides, now I'm thinking about a huge billboard I saw on Maryland's eastern shore that quoted the words of Mahatma Ghandi:

An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind.

Maybe someday somebody can invent a spray that will eliminate obnoxious sounds, the way you can disinfect the air from obnoxious odors!

Wouldn't that be nifty?

Pssft.

Oh, it's quiet and peaceful now, thank God! ;-)

Happy Mush Day!

2008-02-14T21:33:00.000-05:00

(otherwise known as Valentine's Day :-))

What IS mush, anyway?

According to Wikipedia, it can be defined as:

Mush (cornmeal), a kind of corn pudding or porridge
Mush, slang meaning man or face.
Mushing, a sport or transport method powered by dogs or a command to a dog team
Muş Province, in eastern Turkey
Muş, the provincial capital of Muş Province
Mush, a 1992 album by the band Leatherface
Mush Records, a Los Angeles-based independent record label
Mush, a nickname for Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf
Mail User's Shell, a Unix mail user agent
MUSH, a text-based online social medium

Or, how my body has been feeling the last two weeks due to a nasty cold and the worst sore throat of my life. :-(

But those definitions are not what I prefer.

Mush, according to me, is lovey-dovey stuff. Anything romantic, super sweet, sentimental, tear-jerker quality...you get the idea.

I am a MUSHMEISTER! :-D

So on this mushy day, a.k.a. Valentine's Day, I dedicate this post to mush and things mushy, because I am a die-hard mushmeister and proud of it, too.

Others may wince, roll their eyes, spew out sarcastic remarks, or worse, at my melting heart tendencies, but do I care? Of course not! I have to remind myself from time to time that life is too short to worry about other people's opinions of me.

Hubby will always tease me if he catches me getting emotional during certain scenes in a movie, and I will blurt out: "Leave me alone!". I can't help it: I love romantic things!

Now, I do have my limits, such as with certain romance novels which I may find cheaply mass-produced, with little or no substance.

That's why I love classics. Like the works of Shakespeare, as well as the works of the artists, poets, novelists and composers who were part of the romanticism movement of the 18th and 19th centuries. Their words, music, and art can take your imagination to great heights, great places! They certainly have been--and continue to be, a source of comfort and joy to me. :-)

Mush can be a syrupy sweet photo of puppy dogs or kittens or (my fave) baby panda bears. Mush can be a photo of cute babies. Mush doesn't have to be a photo at all. It can be seeing two lovebirds walk past you.

Spontaneous mush is best! I'm not into the contrived sort where little pets (human and otherwise) are dressed up for a studio portrait. Then again, something like movies are a contrived medium. I'd say anything that can make my heart swell or make my eyes well up is mushY!

My top three mush movies? "It's A Wonderful Life", "The Sound of Music" and "Annie Hall". The last one isn't particularly outwardly syrupy, but it's still romantic, regardless of what you think of Woody Allen movies.

And my top mush novels: Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, and Middlemarch.

How about mushy men? I hope that's not oxymoronic--men tend not to be mushy...I've yet to meet one, though not being mushy doesn't dictate that one can't be affected by an emotional scene! I'm talking about leading men on the silver screen who make women swoon from imagined love and lord knows what else.

My favorite: Sean Connery (yes, I'm a Bond junkie). There's others, but I can't think of them now...they come and go!

Mush is best shared with a significant other! It's somewhat alien to my honey, but he knows it's part of me and I'm here to stay...so there--take it or leave it, dude. ;-b What man in his right mind would resist showers of MUSH on Valentine's Day, anyway? Lots of love and kisses go a long way. You don't need a special day to spread your mush!

Just so I don't forget to tell you: I love that other "mush", too. The one called oatmeal. I have it every morning with ground flaxseed and vanilla yogurt. Helps keep me healthy.

So you see, MUSH and "mush" are both really good for your heart and health. :-)

Here's to mush--plus more than enough to last several lifetimes in your lifetime!

* * * * *

Oh Lift Me!

Oh lift me from the grass!
I die! I faint! I fail!
Let thy love and kisses rain
On my lips and eyelids pale.
My cheek is cold and white, alas!
My heart beats loud and fast:~
Oh! Press it to thine own again,
Where it will break at last.

--Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792-1822

Beauty Rest

2008-01-27T07:26:00.000-05:00

It is very peaceful to be up in the early morning hours. No noise downstairs or outside! But truth be told, I am NOT a morning person! %-0 I have more peace at night.

The only reason I'm up and writing at 7 something on a SUNDAY morning is because I was sick last night with pain and nausea and went to bed early.

I know that it is possible to get TOO much sleep. I'd rather get too much than too little! Recent studies have shown that lack of sleep doubles the risk of death from cardiovascular disease and increases the risk for weight gain, hypertension, and Type 2 diabetes. Then again, too much sleep can also double the risk of death...but fewer studies have been done on too much sleep and risk factors. I'd rather err on the too much sleep side! ;-D

And I'm sure you've heard of reports on studies that demonstrated that cognitive performance declines with fewer than eight hours of sleep?

Beauty rest is essential to healthy living! I'm all for healthy living!

I know I mentioned sleep in another post last year, but it's very important to me!

If I don't get my BR (as hubby likes to call beauty rest), I can be reeeeealllly cranky. I had an acquaintance long ago who stayed the night with us and the next morning, for whatever reason, she became Queen Bitch! %-( Snapped at me and my honey! After that visit, I vowed to not be like that, ever! Were we supposed to cut her some slack just because she was a single mom, had been raped at gunpoint in college (in my hometown!) and was daily stressed because of her history and a crazy ex-husband bothering her beyond compare? I didn't think so and I called her on it, too.

It wasn't the first time she snapped at me...and I do think she had gotten as much sleep as we did! Sure, I felt bad for her and her situation, even took time off from work to accompany her to court, but I wasn't the right person to help her out. Eventually, I came to dread her calls and slowly extracted her from my life because she abused our friendship, and despite repeated (empty) apologies, never made amends to stop using me or other people around her as her punching bag when she was frustrated. She completely exhausted me and gave me a reason to run to my cozy bed.

I'm a wild sleeper! When I wake up, the blankets are twisted as if a tornado had gone through our room! But my honey is very peaceful, like my mom. So much so that it scares me once in a while because they both are so STILL, reminding me of how dead people look in their coffin. :-( Even as I gaze upon my honey now, entering his 40th year today (!), he looks very calm lying there under our comforter. :-)

It's very rare that the blankets are smooth when I wake up. I forget I caused it and then when nighttime rolls around, I look at the twisted sheet and blanket and wonder aloud: how did this happen?

Okay, so now I just confessed I don't make the bed. All we have is our comforter, flat sheet, bed sheet and king sized pillow. I used to have a bed cover, but it's in storage. The comforter IS our bedspread! Just cover the bed with it and it looks fine! Sometimes I fold up the blanket like I did when we grew up. No fancy bedcover and pillows--we never had any of that. Mil has always had that, so it takes me a while to make the bed when we visit her--as in a half dozen fancy pillows to throw on top of the bed to make it look pretty and proper.

I've done a lot of sleeping on public transportation in my young life: on planes, trains, and buses. I've even ended up in another city because I fell asleep on the subway train! %-0 I need to get myself a neck pillow because I always end up with a sore neck. And I have missed my stop a few times from snoozing on the bus. What's another few blocks to walk?

Some friends have told me they can't sleep anywhere comfortably except their own home. Maybe they haven't traveled enough? I don't care! I've slept in a roomful of strangers both here and abroad--and not just for one night, but several. If I'm sleepy, I don't intend to deprive myself of much needed beauty rest!

Let's see where else I've snoozed: airports, classrooms (uh oh!), campgrounds, homes of friends or relatives of friends whom I didnt know from Adam, and in another home in another city, via a domestic AFS (American Field Service) weekend exchange that felt more alien than being halfway around the world.

As long as I get my sleep, I'm a happy camper. :-) If not...be careful! ;-0

I'm also incapable of taking short naps. Mine are mega naps--at least an hour. Two is better! When I'm out, I'm OUT! The other day, I took a 20 minute nap, which is miraculous. Hubby can take a five minute nap and feel refreshed. Not me.

How about you?

Without sleep, I wouldn't have fantastic, vivid technicolor dreams to report to my man. Or to myself. Dreams where people from my past and present collide, dreams where characters from movies are chasing me instead of the characters from the film, dreams about other people I've never met--or creatures I've never met, dreams of myself inserted into futuristic scenes that came out of a movie I saw recently, dreams of my family members or relatives doing strange things, or dreams of myself being on the world stage (doing something worthy to benefit humanity)! :-)

How else would I enter an idyllic or fantasy world without sleep? It's a fun, often bizarre, and sometimes nightmarish place to go...and that can make waking up a good thing. But I usually have a terrible time waking up, regardless of how little or how much sleep I got. I like my sleep.

I love my sleep! ;-)

* * * * * * * *

A Long, Long Sleep, a Famous Sleep

A long, long sleep, a famous sleep
That makes no show for dawn
By stretch of limb or stir of lid, --
An independent one.

Was ever idleness like this?
Within a hut of stone
To bask the centuries away
Nor once look up for noon?

--Emily Dickinson

Happy 100th Birthday, Simone de Beauvoir!

2008-01-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

I remained faithful to my declared intention of turning all that life imposed on me to my own purposes.

--from The Prime of Life, by Simone de Beauvoir

Today is your 100th birthday, Simone! Joyeux anniversaire!

How I wish you were alive today. I will write this as if you are, because I feel you are alive, in spirit. In my mind and in my soul. :-)

In the last six months, since I began reading the first volume of your autobiographies, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, you have possessed me.

Revolutionized my thinking. Caused me to want to read everything you wrote. Deepened my convictions about the need for gender equality. Broadened my understanding of the place of women in history as well as what it means to be a woman. Convinced me of the importance of lifelong study of issues important to me, thus becoming more strongly independent-minded. Inspired me to not be afraid of anything: go after what I believe in, go after what I want, and not be bothered by what other people think...to keep an open, inquiring mind.

You have ignited my passion concerning women's issues!

I have been inspired by some great male thinkers in history, but to feel energized by a great female thinker and doer such as yourself brings inspiration to a whole new dimension! Men cannot hope to understand everything, especially about women--because they are not women! The world needs more women like you.

I hope that there will come a day in my lifetime that women such as yourself will not be a rarity. That the bright women today are no longer hidden in the masses. When both women and men will respect brilliant women and be inspired by them, not threatened or intimidated by them. Nor be reduced to saying stupid, sarcastic, and offensive things about women who have their own mind. Things like: a woman is something less of a woman if she is not a mother, doesn't have a man in her life, or has too much ambition in her career pursuits. Or that she must be frigid because of any of the aforementioned things.

Things haven't changed that much for women since The Second Sex published nearly 60 years ago, or maybe even the last 22 years since you departed this earth. Sure, there have been improvements in varying degrees, especially since the feminist movement of the 70's. But it's not enough. If it were, we wouldn't have the problems tied to gender inequality we have today that have been around for a long time: domestic violence, violence against women with impunity, the spread of AIDS--especially among women and girls in developing countries, sex trafficking, pay inequality, etc.

Research shows that gender inequality is the root of many ages-old and newer problems mentioned above. Anyone can find detailed information on this on the internet; the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) is a great place to start, and discover what research leading to progressive policy changes is happening around the world today.

I have become obsessed now with reading everything you wrote! I hope to accomplish this in 2008...you were quite prolific! Few writers have had the effect of causing me to want to read everything they wrote, so consider yourself lucky. ;-) A few of them you've read: Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, and Dickens, and Shakespeare. I've read all but one of the first's popular novels, the two major ones of the second, and working on the third, thanks to a recent Christmas gift from my dear mother in-law. The last, I also love, but I consider him the most challenging, so I don't feel as time-pressed to read everything!

The other writer you probably don't know, since most of her work was published after your passing: Banana Yoshimoto, from Japan. The only person whose work I've read entirely thus far. It's only fitting that she's a woman, isn't it? Women first! ;-)

So far, I've read your first two autobiographical volumes, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter (which got me hooked on your work from the start) and The Prime of Life (which hooked me even more), The Ethics of Ambiguity (which I need to reread after I read a primer on philosophy since I remember nothing from my intro class 20+ years ago, and I was not entirely awake when I read it), and The Second Sex (I LOVE it).

I cannot do justice to The Second Sex in describing it to others. Many have written about it, but I think you expressed your thoughts on your very own work the best, when you wrote about it in your third autobiographical volume, Force of Circumstance--which I haven't read and am going on the word of the site where I found it, and which I must share with the world: On the Publication of The Second Sex.

What I have done in your honor is to read everything you wrote, read as much as I can on feminism and women's issues from as many viewpoints as possible so that when the day comes when I decide to open my mouth publicly and/or write as prolificly as you did (at least, in spirit!), I will have a clue as to what I'm talking about.

So you see, you need not worry that I'm blindly and slavishly reading only your work! I've only just begun my quest to reach out to others' work. I have read Gloria Steinem and bell hooks. hooks, who doesn't use capital letters when writing her name, wrote a very cool primer/handbook: Feminism is for Everybody. In it, she provided a very clear and straightforward definition of feminism that everyone can embrace:

Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.

Who can disagree with that, except those who are the most close-minded, insecure, and ignorant?!

And since I'm such a devotee of yours, I'm leaving reviews on amazon.com for each work of yours I read. It may not be the most well-written among the others, but a lot of respect, admiration and love went into reading your work, writing about it, and sharing it. A good site where others can find out more about you is The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

Or for a fresh (and shorter) look at your life, Spiegel Online International published a wonderful article in honor of your 100th birthday, today. ;-)

You've become my mentor in spirit, my inspiration to reach for higher achievements, and my heroine, because of what you represented: you were your own woman, you did what you wanted to do on your own terms, you were seemingly unafraid to do anything in life--including challenging men, and helping countless women. Myself included.

The quote I put at the beginning of this dedication to you is forever seared into my memory. I turn to it whenever I am in doubt, or feel weighted down by illness, or by life circumstances. I reflect on it when I'm in good spirits as well. It gives me a big boost!

If I was writing this 25 years ago, I could maybe write something coherent to you in French, with five years of study under my belt...fractured French! Then I'd be too embarrassed to send it to you! But I barely knew you existed then. :-(

Fortunately, I know about you, NOW. :-)

I can only imagine the amount of work you might have produced had you lived at least until today, your 100th birthday, and in the internet age, no less!

Merci beaucoup, Simone. Et bon anniversaire!

The Grim Reaper Strikes Again

2007-12-17T00:04:00.000-05:00

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

- From a headstone in Ireland

My Auntie M--my mom's second eldest sister, passed away today. :-( It just seemed too quick, since her diagnosis in September. I thought she was supposed to have at least six months, according to her doctors.

Auntie M and Uncle B were married for over 50 years. They had no children. I imposed myself on them 21 years ago, one summer, while I was trying to graduate on time by taking a couple of intensive, three-week, quick and dirty get-it-over-with summer courses at San Francisco State U. (Not my regular college). I stayed six weeks. I'm sure it was hard on them, having had no children and not being used to company.

I felt like I was under a microscope the entire time, with Auntie M reporting my every move, word, and habit to my mother! %-0 Despite our difficulties, I came to realize Auntie M was a good-hearted person. She may have been seemingly hypercritical, judgmental, and intolerant of others at times, but she really had a good heart. :-)

Auntie M makes the fourth person in the family we've lost this year. In January, it was a dear family friend. In March, my favorite uncle. In April, a young cousin (who survived a year after being diagnosed with a brain tumor). And now, Auntie M.

Can we have a break from all this sadness, which also includes loved ones on both sides of the family who've been diagnosed with cancer this year??

When I read things like: death is part of life, I do NOT disagree. But that doesn't make it any less painful for the ones who lost someone dear in their lives, by any measure.

I'm not a religious person, so I am not going to talk about God. My feelings are ambivalent about Her (!) at best. I go to God when I'm feeling desperate, like going for junk food when I have no other choice in front of me. No wonder sailors curse God all the time. Or pray fervently to God. They are sailing on rough waters that seem to have no end in sight.

(To those shocked by my reference to HER, I ask: DO YOU IN FACT KNOW that God is a HE, not a SHE?)

When I think of death, I think of an image seen too many times in film: the image of a robed, hooded person whose face you can't see, with a sickle in hand--used for digging your grave.

The last time I encountered the Grim Reaper, it was when I had my one and only car accident en route to work one morning. A slippery bridge...my car went out of control, and I ricocheted across the bridge. Good thing no one was on it except me. It was 5:45 in the morning or so. Yes, I used to work crazy hours like that for too many years!

Hubby asked later why I didn't use the emergency brakes. Well, dear, it's kind of hard to remember that when you think that this is THE END. When you suddenly see your life flash before you. When you try to remember at what point do you open your car door and escape when your car flips over into the water (which I was sure that was going to happen, but never did)?

The first time I thought I had met Mr. GR was a decade ago, after an operation to remove ovarian cysts, and I felt so utterly miserable that I almost didn't care AT ALL if I woke up again or not. I was SO completely overwhelmed with nausea. Yech!

I've escaped him twice now. I know you can't choose your time, and I've had more ailments throughout my lifetime than I can count on my fingers and toes together. My family can attest to that! But each time I get knocked down with something, I allow myself a little pity party, and then force myself to move on. Do whatever I have to do to get over this situation.

I'll be damned if I let the Grim Reaper get anywhere near me: I'll fight HIM tooth and nail as long as I have my faculties intact! (Yes, a him. How could such an unpleasant character be a woman?!)

I did have a couple close calls in the last year with a monster Mack truck and also a pick-up truck (the driver was looking right AT me! Or was it through me?) while crossing the street on foot. The Grim Reaper can show up anywhere!

I am the baby on both sides of the family. I came later in my parents' lives (for the 60's) and all my grandparents were products of the 19th century. I was very young when three of them passed away in succession within a year and a half or so. I had just barely started school--no later than the beginning of 1st grade when the last of the three died.

I didn't know them well, but I have a good photographic memory of them. AND their funerals. I think seeing a lot of death in a short period of time and being very young has had a big impact on me in ways I haven't quite figured out yet.

My mom was also having health problems at the time, but I didn't know it--or maybe I did at the time but didn't ask. And wasn't told. That's just how things were then.

I do know that I don't get freaked like some people do when others die. Maybe they haven't seen death close up before, I don't know. It's never, never easy, no matter how many times I've seen death. I had two friends who sat next to each other at my wedding banquet; both were gone the next month. And of course I fell apart at their funeral and memorial service. :-(

When someone I cared about leaves this world, it certainly makes me reflect on their life. Was it a life well-lived? How did he or she survive war and manage life's dark moments? Then I think about my life. Am I living the best way I can, according to my desires and goals first, rather than according to the expectations/conventions of society? What can I do better to achieve and surpass my own expectations? There is always room for improvement, yes indeed! ;-0

Death may be lurking in the distant future, but I intend to live my life as fully as possible, on my terms, pursuing the activities and ideas I value, standing firm for my convictions, and not being afraid of those who may vehemently disagree with me. We'll just have to agree to disagree. ;-)

Oh, one other thing: I don't like wearing black at all. It reminds me of funerals, death. Black looks great on other people. It looks cool. Sophisticated. I'll wear black trousers if need be, like for work or if it's too cold to wear a dress, but if I don't have to, I won't. Because black represents death and cold, vast emptiness to me.

I'd rather wear my favorite color, RED: a color symbolizing life...vibrancy...warmth!

Rest in peace, Auntie M. I'll never forget what a good heart you possessed and my brief time with you and Uncle B. :-)

The Right to Read

2007-11-20T15:22:00.000-05:00

On the occasion of the hyped unveiling of amazon.com's new wireless reading device, Kindle, I present to you the following cautionary tale:

The Right to Read

by Richard Stallman

This article appeared in the February 1997 issue of Communications of the ACM (Volume 40, Number 2).

(from “The Road To Tycho”, a collection of articles about the antecedents of the Lunarian Revolution, published in Luna City in 2096)

For Dan Halbert, the road to Tycho began in college—when Lissa Lenz asked to borrow his computer. Hers had broken down, and unless she could borrow another, she would fail her midterm project. There was no one she dared ask, except Dan.

This put Dan in a dilemma. He had to help her—but if he lent her his computer, she might read his books. Aside from the fact that you could go to prison for many years for letting someone else read your books, the very idea shocked him at first. Like everyone, he had been taught since elementary school that sharing books was nasty and wrong—something that only pirates would do.

And there wasn't much chance that the SPA—the Software Protection Authority—would fail to catch him. In his software class, Dan had learned that each book had a copyright monitor that reported when and where it was read, and by whom, to Central Licensing. (They used this information to catch reading pirates, but also to sell personal interest profiles to retailers.) The next time his computer was networked, Central Licensing would find out. He, as computer owner, would receive the harshest punishment—for not taking pains to prevent the crime.

Of course, Lissa did not necessarily intend to read his books. She might want the computer only to write her midterm. But Dan knew she came from a middle-class family and could hardly afford the tuition, let alone her reading fees. Reading his books might be the only way she could graduate. He understood this situation; he himself had had to borrow to pay for all the research papers he read. (10% of those fees went to the researchers who wrote the papers; since Dan aimed for an academic career, he could hope that his own research papers, if frequently referenced, would bring in enough to repay this loan.)

Later on, Dan would learn there was a time when anyone could go to the library and read journal articles, and even books, without having to pay. There were independent scholars who read thousands of pages without government library grants. But in the 1990s, both commercial and nonprofit journal publishers had begun charging fees for access. By 2047, libraries offering free public access to scholarly literature were a dim memory.

There were ways, of course, to get around the SPA and Central Licensing. They were themselves illegal. Dan had had a classmate in software, Frank Martucci, who had obtained an illicit debugging tool, and used it to skip over the copyright monitor code when reading books. But he had told too many friends about it, and one of them turned him in to the SPA for a reward (students deep in debt were easily tempted into betrayal). In 2047, Frank was in prison, not for pirate reading, but for possessing a debugger.

Dan would later learn that there was a time when anyone could have debugging tools. There were even free debugging tools available on CD or downloadable over the net. But ordinary users started using them to bypass copyright monitors, and eventually a judge ruled that this had become their principal use in actual practice. This meant they were illegal; the debuggers' developers were sent to prison.

Programmers still needed debugging tools, of course, but debugger vendors in 2047 distributed numbered copies only, and only to officially licensed and bonded programmers. The debugger Dan used in software class was kept behind a special firewall so that it could be used only for class exercises.

It was also possible to bypass the copyright monitors by installing a modified system kernel. Dan would eventually find out about the free kernels, even entire free operating systems, that had existed around the turn of the century. But not only were they illegal, like debuggers—you could not install one if you had one, without knowing your computer's root password. And neither the FBI nor Microsoft Support would tell you that.

Dan concluded that he couldn't simply lend Lissa his computer. But he couldn't refuse to help her, because he loved her. Every chance to speak with her filled him with delight. And that she chose him to ask for help, that could mean she loved him too.

Dan resolved the dilemma by doing something even more unthinkable—he lent her the computer, and told her his password. This way, if Lissa read his books, Central Licensing would think he was reading them. It was still a crime, but the SPA would not automatically find out about it. They would only find out if Lissa reported him.

Of course, if the school ever found out that he had given Lissa his own password, it would be curtains for both of them as students, regardless of what she had used it for. School policy was that any interference with their means of monitoring students' computer use was grounds for disciplinary action. It didn't matter whether you did anything harmful—the offense was making it hard for the administrators to check on you. They assumed this meant you were doing something else forbidden, and they did not need to know what it was.

Students were not usually expelled for this—not directly. Instead they were banned from the school computer systems, and would inevitably fail all their classes.

Later, Dan would learn that this kind of university policy started only in the 1980s, when university students in large numbers began using computers. Previously, universities maintained a different approach to student discipline; they punished activities that were harmful, not those that merely raised suspicion.

Lissa did not report Dan to the SPA. His decision to help her led to their marriage, and also led them to question what they had been taught about piracy as children. The couple began reading about the history of copyright, about the Soviet Union and its restrictions on copying, and even the original United States Constitution. They moved to Luna, where they found others who had likewise gravitated away from the long arm of the SPA. When the Tycho Uprising began in 2062, the universal right to read soon became one of its central aims.

Author's Note

This note was updated in 2007.

The right to read is a battle being fought today. Although it may take 50 years for our present way of life to fade into obscurity, most of the specific laws and practices described above have already been proposed; many have been enacted into law in the US and elsewhere. In the US, the 1998 Digital Millenium Copyright Act established the legal basis to restrict the reading and lending of computerized books (and other works as well). The European Union imposed similar restrictions in a 2001 copyright directive. In France, under the DADVSI law adopted in 2006, mere possession of a copy of DeCSS, the free program to decrypt video on a DVD, is a crime.

In 2001, Disney-funded Senator Hollings proposed a bill called the SSSCA that would require every new computer to have mandatory copy-restriction facilities that the user cannot bypass. Following the Clipper chip and similar US government key-escrow proposals, this shows a long-term trend: computer systems are increasingly set up to give absentees with clout control over the people actually using the computer system. The SSSCA was later renamed to the unpronouncable CBDTPA, which was glossed as the “Consume But Don't Try Programming Act”.

The Republicans took control of the US senate shortly thereafter. They are less tied to Hollywood than the Democrats, so they did not press these proposals. Now that the Democrats are back in control, the danger is once again higher.

In 2001 the US began attempting to use the proposed Free Trade Area of the Americas treaty to impose the same rules on all the countries in the Western Hemisphere. The FTAA is one of the so-called “free trade” treaties, which are actually designed to give business increased power over democratic governments; imposing laws like the DMCA is typical of this spirit. The FTAA was effectively killed by Lula, President of Brazil, who rejected the DMCA requirement and others.

Since then, the US has imposed similar requirements on countries such as Australia and Mexico through bilateral “free trade” agreements, and on countries such as Costa Rica through CAFTA. Ecuador's President Correa refused to sign the “free trade” agreement, but Ecuador had adopted something like the DMCA in 2003. Ecuador's new constitution may provide an opportunity to get rid of it.

One of the ideas in the story was not proposed in reality until 2002. This is the idea that the FBI and Microsoft will keep the root passwords for your personal computers, and not let you have them.

The proponents of this scheme have given it names such as “trusted computing” and “palladium”. We call it “treacherous computing”, because the effect is to make your computer obey companies instead of you. This was implemented in 2007 as part of Windows Vista; we expect Apple to do something similar. In this scheme, it is the manufacturer that keeps the secret code, but the FBI would have little trouble getting it.

What Microsoft keeps is not exactly a password in the traditional sense; no person ever types it on a terminal. Rather, it is a signature and encryption key that corresponds to a second key stored in your computer. This enables Microsoft, and potentially any web sites that cooperate with Microsoft, the ultimate control over what the user can do on his own computer.

Vista also gives Microsoft additional powers; for instance, Microsoft can forcibly install upgrades, and it can order all machines running Vista to refuse to run a certain device driver. The main purpose of Vista's many restrictions is to make DRM that users can't overcome.

The SPA, which actually stands for Software Publisher's Association, has been replaced in this police-like role by the BSA or Business Software Alliance. It is not, today, an official police force; unofficially, it acts like one. Using methods reminiscent of the erstwhile Soviet Union, it invites people to inform on their coworkers and friends. A BSA terror campaign in Argentina in 2001 made slightly-veiled threats that people sharing software would be raped.

When this story was first written, the SPA was threatening small Internet service providers, demanding they permit the SPA to monitor all users. Most ISPs surrendered when threatened, because they cannot afford to fight back in court. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 1 Oct 96, D3.) At least one ISP, Community ConneXion in Oakland CA, refused the demand and was actually sued. The SPA later dropped the suit, but obtained the DMCA which gave them the power they sought.

The university security policies described above are not imaginary. For example, a computer at one Chicago-area university prints this message when you log in (quotation marks are in the original):

This system is for the use of authorized users only. Individuals using this computer system without authority or in the excess of their authority are subject to having all their activities on this system monitored and recorded by system personnel. In the course of monitoring individuals improperly using this system or in the course of system maintenance, the activities of authorized user may also be monitored. Anyone using this system expressly consents to such monitoring and is advised that if such monitoring reveals possible evidence of illegal activity or violation of University regulations system personnel may provide the evidence of such monitoring to University authorities and/or law enforcement officials.

This is an interesting approach to the Fourth Amendment: pressure most everyone to agree, in advance, to waive their rights under it.

References

The administration's “White Paper”: Information Infrastructure Task Force, Intellectual Property and the National Information Infrastructure: The Report of the Working Group on Intellectual Property Rights (1995).
An explanation of the White Paper: The Copyright Grab, Pamela Samuelson, Wired, Jan. 1996
Sold Out, James Boyle, New York Times, 31 March 1996
Public Data or Private Data, Washington Post, 4 Nov 1996. We used to have a link to this, but Washinton Post has decided to start charging users who wishes to read articles on the web site and therefore we have decided to remove the link.
Union for the Public Domain—an organization which aims to resist and reverse the overextension of copyright and patent powers.

This essay is published in Free Software, Free Society: The Selected Essays of Richard M. Stallman.

Other Texts to Read

Philosophy of the GNU Project
Copy Protection: Just Say No, Published in Computer World.

The author's note talks about the battle for the right to read and electronic surveillance. The battle is beginning now; here are links to two articles about technologies now being developed to deny you the right to read.

Electronic Publishing: An article about distribution of books in electronic form, and copyright issues affecting the right to read a copy.
Books inside Computers: Software to control who can read books and documents on a PC.

GPLv3

Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to gnu@gnu.org. There are also other ways to contact the FSF.
Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to webmasters@gnu.org.

Please see the Translations README for information on coordinating and submitting translations of this article.

Updated: $Date: 2007/08/25 19:58:39 $

* * * * * *

HEY EVERYBODY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY...IT'S FREE, NO BUTTON TO PUSH TO BUY A BOOK! YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ. :-)

I Didn't Aspire To Be A Domestic Goddess

2007-11-16T20:25:00.000-05:00

Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with it's endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.

-Simone de Beauvoir
-from The Second Sex

Merci, Simone, for expressing my thoughts exactly on housework and putting them on paper before I even was born! You are my newfound heroine, inspiration, and mentor from beyond! I am in the process of devouring everything you wrote and I will dedicate a post to you on your 100th birthday next January. :-)

For now, I am publicly admitting that I am not a domestic goddess. That's a fancy, modern day term for housewife. I never yearned to be one. Ever. It would drive me insane.

I say kudos to the generations of housewives who have fed, clothed, and kept their families living in relative neatness and cleanliness. We wouldn't be here without them!

However, I don't fit that category. My apartment is evidence of that! %-0 It's not a pigsty but neither is it a Macy's showroom. Daily cleaning is BORING. I'm talking about thorough cleaning beyond just cleaning up after yourself in the kitchen or bathroom, like daily dusting, vacuuming, cleaning floors.

Cooking is also part of housework. Cooking is essential, and I like to cook the things I like to eat, but I am not a chef--though I do like to pat myself on the back when a dish turns out especially good. It's much more enjoyable to feast on other people's fine dining, like my family's or friends' or at a restaurant. ;-)

Referring back to de Beauvoir's words, it is the montony of housekeeping that I relate to. Having read half of her four volume autobiographical series, I can tell she was no housekeeper. She was an intellectual since her youth. She had no intention of ever submitting to the "service" of marriage and motherhood. And she didn't. She was too busy teaching and writing. She was a woman ahead of her times: freethinking and independent in her own right. She challenged women to think for themselves and become their own person. She laid the foundation for modern-day feminists.

Thinking about dust bunnies was not high on her to-do list. Nor mine--until I see them...and I have poor eyesight anyway!

What is the torture of Sisyphus, to which Simone de Beauvoir refers in the quote? Sisyphus, according to Greek mythology, was a king punished in the Tartarus (either a deep, gloomy place, a pit or abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering that resides within Hades or the entire underworld with Hades being the hellish component) to roll a huge boulder up a hill for eternity. The catch was that before he reached the top of the hill, the rock would always escape him and would have to begin again! %-0

That sounds EXACTLY like ironing to me! Torture. Repetitive torture at that! I hate ironing. But it's a necessary evil; I iron because I don't like to wear wrinkly clothes. I have wrinkly clothes because I've never liked to use a dryer unless I have to in emergency. I hang them out. Just as my mom has done probably her whole life. Freshly hung clothes smell better and last longer. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and they'd all be smooth, straight out of the washing machine! I can't think of a more mind-numbing activity than ironing. :-(

If I know company is coming, which is very rare for hubby and myself (as in a few times a year or less), I go on a mad cleaning rampage: I put on some kind of racy classical music in the cd player, while I wash and vacuum the floors, and make everything non-cluttered and clean as can be in a few hours' time! Yes, I wait until the last minute. That's how much I think of the the task of housework.

And no, I don't like looking at dust, much less dirt. I'll take care of it in due time thank you very much. Dirt first. We don't wear shoes in the apartment, so that helps a lot. I don't let company wear their shoes in our home, either, if they're going to stay awhile.

Clutter is another matter. I do try to make "neat" piles of stuff. It's hard! Hubby is a pack-rat, as is his dad and my family. I save a lot, too, but I try to organize it, or at worst, hide stuff in drawers until I get to it in another life. ;-) Hubby's worse than me: he'll even save cardboard boxes. He might have to send back an item someday he says. Hah! %-(

When we left our house four years ago, we had an attic PACKED with old boxes! A fire hazard, indeed! NEVER AGAIN, I proclaimed. He even took the words right out of my mouth one day recently: "I didn't sign up to be a WAREHOUSE manager!" Darn right I didn't, mister.

Hubby's favorite line to me whenever I make noise about clutter: "What's it hurting you? Don't you have more important things to think about?"

* BIG sigh*!

Well, of course I do. He's right. I DO have more better things to think about, like keeping abreast of new developments in my field of massage therapy, or devouring the work of Simone de Beauvoir or any other feminist, or reading about things Chinese. That's plenty to keep my mind busy. I made a vow to myself long ago that I wanted my life to have a feverish quality about it: to be as involved as possible through mind, body and soul in pursuing what I enjoy and what I believe in.

I think of myself as a woman finally on the blazing path to realizing her dreams, but still pulled back now and then by the nitty gritty details of life: serious illness and death among friends and family/relatives (six already this year). Somehow, the serious and sad parts are easier for me to accept than the mundane details of housekeeping.

It is my good fortune I hooked up with a progressive-thinking man who is not a neat freak. I just don't want too much clutter and dust! Is it because I'm a woman, conditioned by society that it's the woman's job to upkeep the home?

Even though The Second Sex was written over a half century ago, I think that Simone's views on housework and other topics are still pretty much as true today as when she wrote them. It is what I observe in some, but not all, relatives and friends. Impatient and ignorant reviewers on amazon.com will say she's boring and outdated, but I don't agree.

On housework:

"...woman's work within the home gives her no autonomy; it is not directly useful to society, it does not open out on the future, it produces nothing. It takes on meaning and dignity only as it is linked with existent beings who reach out beyond themselves, transcend themselves, toward society in production and action. That is, far from freeing the matron, her occupation makes her dependent upon husband and children; she is justified through them; but in their lives, she is only an inessential intermediary."

I like to keep in mind her words: "in order to find a hearth and home within oneself, one must first have found self-realization in works or in deeds". For myself, it is more important to invest my time nourishing my mind and body than to spend time making my home look physically beautiful.

Dust bunnies will never rule my day! %-0

* * * *

At worst, a house unkept, cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.

-Rose Macaulay, prolific poet and novelist

BOO!

2007-10-31T22:36:00.000-04:00

'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.

- William Shakespeare

There is a graveyard by our apartment complex. It's the first thing I noticed when we first moved here four years ago. I told hubby, "We're going to be in trouble if these folks decide to wake up one night!"

If I had never seen "Night of the Living Dead", I might never have thought to say such a silly thing. But as it is, I have a morbid curiosity with horror films, mostly since I've been with my man. I can only watch horror flicks with him or with friends, though...never alone!

I do not like the gruesome, gushy blood fanfare. Especially any head lopping stuff. I can thank my 8th grade history teacher for that. She showed us a film on the French Revolution that had guillotine scenes. That did it. My lunch period was next. I don't recall having had lunch that day; my stomach was in a knot. Yuk. Sorry if you feel sick at this moment, but you can understand my aversion to certain scenes. Nothing will make me puke faster than a head scene.

I'm more into the eerie psych stuff, which I think is scarier than lots of butchering. Films like "Psycho", "Raising Caine", "The Exorcist", and "Rosemary's Baby" still scare me to this day! %-0 Even "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"--which actually did not show a lot of blood but only let the audience imagine it with the screaming and the sounds of the chainsaw, is more a psychologically scary film than the slash and burn types. It certainly leaves more to the imagination than some newer films, which is why I like older films in general, because they're not insulting to my mind.

The other week, I got "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi from the library.. I'd seen it eons ago, but hubby never saw it. It was GREAT! We had seen the Dracula movie by Coppola with Winona Ryder, Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, and Keanu Reeves. That was also very good, and stylish! But there was something very pure and raw about the 1931 version with Bela Lugosi--he was portrayed as more human...and tortured. The other Dracula movie we saw was an older one with Christopher Lee as Dracula, probably from the 60's or early 70's. That was a funny one: there was a host in the castle named Clove (as in garlic clove!), thick blood that looked like it came out of ketchup bottle, and Dracula sinking into the ground like the Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz"!

Silent horror films can be spooky, too, like German expressionist films "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" and "Nosferatu". They look tame...but don't watch them by yourself!

Also, when we first moved here, we had a horribly noisy fan in the bathroom. It sounded like the motor on the boat in "Jaws". Yes, in my wild imagination (especially if I was home alone), I fully expected a shark to rip through the bathroom wall and violently tear my flesh off! I had that thought for only a moment! But t was enough for us to call maintenance to come and quiet the thing. They did something, I don't know what; afterwards, it was still loud, but not so obnoxious. :-)

Many eons ago, I heard some horrible voice coming from another room and went in to find my honey watching "Hellraiser". I was so scared for him! As if the skinless people in the movie were going to reach out and grab him! Aren't you scared, I asked? Oh no! He was very non-chalant about it, and in fact, was getting quite a bit of thrill and morbid amusement out of it. Being the good wife, I stayed with him cuz I was worried for him. Instead, I ended up hiding behind him everytime I thought something gruesome was going to happen, like a head scene. Yuk!

Would you believe I saw it a second time? Or maybe it was the sequel. I don't remember! All I remember is that I was laughing my head off at Pinhead! The other characters, too, but mostly him. Some of these horror flicks have a lot of black humor in them, if you can get past the red liquid part. Hubby and I tend to be attracted to the bizarre and black humored fare (which, I suppose, could mean both of us may be weird, ourselves). ;-)

This can include non-horror entertainment, such as Dr. Who, The Twilight Zone (the old, black and white episodes) and Monty Python, all of which were prone to showing some horror--usually in a very, dark-humored way.

I don't know why some find horror fascinating and others are revolted by it. I guess it depends on your tolerance level. I just figure: it's only a movie!

Books are another matter. I went through a Stephen King phase in jr. high and high school and got scared reading "The Shining" while babysitting; my neighbor's heater was really loud one night, and their little girl didn't like to be in the dark, yelling for me to come keep her company. And wouldn't you know it--her yelling combined with the choking, gutteral, wailing heater coincided with the "purple lady in the bathtub" scene! %-0

A few years later, at a church youth group xmas party, "The Shining" was on the host's tv! Yes, a church Christmas party! It really was quite funny that it was on during most of the party! Most of us were only looking at it periodically until the really scary parts--then we were all glued to the tube! I'll never forget that party because it's when I ran into my ex-boyfriend and he asked if I was going to the senior ball (he had graduated two years previously), and I said, no...no one asked me. NO ONE? he asked incredulously. Nope. Wanna go with me? So he did...and then stood me up two weeks before the event saying he couldn't get off work; then a friend found me another "date", then the ex called back and said he actually could take me, so I had two on my hands! I ended up going with the ex, since I hardly knew my friend's friend and didn't particularly like him to start, AND my parents knew the ex from before (you know how it is, put the parents at ease so you can get achieve your goals!).

I read a few more of King's novels, the scariest being "The Stand". Then I had enough! They sort of became formulaic, like Danielle Steele novels. Or cheap romantic novels. You read a few of them and they all seem the same. I despise that! Scary to me is Edgar Allen Poe's work...try him if you'd like your imagination to fly.

Or Dante's _Inferno_..."ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE"...oooh! And that was just at the gates of hell, not in the depths! %-( I actually had to put the book down because it got scary and gruesome! On the second reading, it was actually amusing, in a dark way, which is probably why it is part of a larger work called "The Divine Comedy" (which I read in junior high but did not appreciate at the time).

How about music? The scariest contemporary artist we heard was Marilyn Manson. We were on the road one day, and didn't hear the announcer say who was singing until after the "song" was over. It sounded like the devil! Is he related to Charles Manson, I thought?! Geez! He sounded inhuman! I was thinking of "Rosemary's Baby" when I heard it! %-0

You can listen to good, classical music and feel very spooked, such as with Maurice Ravel's "Isle of the Dead" and Modest Mussorgky's "Night on Bald Mountain". Probably many people have heard these tunes in pop culture, but didn't know their origins. I didn't until the last several years. Check them out sometime...just don't listen to them by yourself at night! %-0 Then there's "Pierrot Lunaire", by Arnold Schoenberg. NOT for the faint of heart! Just be prepared--you might just think there is a crazy person in the house...! And everyone's heard Bach's fugues for Halloween. Did that master of music ever turn in his grave to know what was done with his work?

I had good restraint today: I only took two Tootsie Roll candies out of the plastic pumpkin overflowing with sugar at the library! And I haven't eaten them...yet!

Oh, I miss dressing up for Halloween. The last time I did that was in college. I was a gypsy. I hope to go to a grown-up Halloween costume party one day. I think it would be fun! And I wouldn't be a gypsy again. I'm inspired more by Marvin the Martian (of Looney Tune fame) or the creatures in the bar scene from "Star Wars". Or even the "creatures" who carded me at a dark disco somewhere south of Market Street in San Francisco during my wild college nights! :-D

BOO to you!

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.

- Emily Dickinson

Cancer Click

2007-10-16T12:18:00.000-04:00

Hey, everybody! Wouldn't you love to enter a contest for a good cause, like breast cancer awareness? :-)

Imagine winning digital camera--a PINK one no less! If that doesn't catch people's attention, I don't know what would be an easier way to mention cancer awareness to others. Go to the 5 Minutes for Mom website to enter the contest for a chance to win a cute pink digital camera. Spread the word!

Oh, and if you search further down on the page, there is a pink button you can click on: if there are so many clicks, the sponsors of this breast cancer campaign will pay for mammograms for women in need. Your click will help another woman somewhere. Every click counts :-)

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It's good to know that cancers particular to women are getting more attention in recent years. I can only hope more research and better medicines and technological advances will benefit more women in my lifetime, if not the next generation.

It would be very cool if someone could invent something better and more accurate than the painful mammogram, so that one day women can cringe in horror at the very thought of it--imagining it to be some sort of medieval torture device (which I think it is)!

When I think of breast cancer, I think of my mother in-law, who battled and survived it over 14 years ago. She had a mastectomy and danced two weeks later at her middle son's wedding. :-) And she's still going strong. You go, Mom!

She and my fil's older sister are actually the only close, relatives I know who've had breast cancer, though I've known of friends' or neighbor's relatives who've had to battle with breast cancer.

While I think it is fabulous that breast cancer has gotten so much publicity in recent years, I hope that other forms of cancer will not be eclipsed by it, and will in fact, gain as much awareness to garner research funding to benefit future patients. Particularly women's reproductive cancers, which I know little about--and which ob/gyns don't discuss with you beyond asking for a family history, or if you've got something going on. I lost my favorite auntie to ovarian cancer. I didn't know anything about it then...only that it took her from my uncle and my family and so many people who loved her. And truth be told: I'm not even sure if it was ovarian cancer. I only know that it was related to the reproductive system.

It seems that women's reproductive cancers are still somewhat of a mystery. It's up to the public to educate themselves--docs aren't much help unless something goes wrong in your system. Even when I may occasionally discuss women's reproductive issues that includes cancer, with close friends, I realize our knowledge is quite limited.

It's too bad that it takes celebrities' battles with cancer to make people aware of female reproductive cancers, as if non-celebrities don't count. Women like Gilda Radner or Fran Drescher ("The Nanny"). Fran Drescher has become an activist extraordinare for women's cancers and has a wonderful website dedicated to raising awareness through her foundation, Cancer Schmancer.

And what of other cancers? A close friend battled and won over testicular cancer (before Lance Armstrong became famous). My dad and other male relatives suffered from prostrate cancer, two cousins from the same family lost their battle with brain cancer in the last year, and now my aunt recently had major surgery for a brain tumor. Another aunt has a growth on her pancreas, and my sister in-law is battling Hodgkins (re-diagnosed from diagnosis of a rare form of non-Hodgkins lymphoma earlier this summer). How much attention does prostrate, brain, pancreatic and Hodgkins get, I wonder?

The "C" word is scary, especially when you learn that someone close to you has gotton it. I can't imagine what the ones who are afflicted with it must be going through. But I am inspired by my sil, whose sister put up a website for her to keep a journal on her progress, which keeps her family and friends and even total strangers (usually friends of friends or family!) around the country up-to date. Check out her site at caringbridge.org.

There are other inspiring stories on that website worth reading, also. :-)

Please don't forget to click on 5 Minutes for Mom !

Of Shallow and Deep Adventures in My Favorite City

2007-10-10T22:49:00.000-04:00

I participated in the ultimate shallow activity last Friday: celebrity gawking!

On the eve of my annual weekend trip to New York City--my favorite city to visit (and where my dearest friend lives), another good friend of ours called and asked if I knew anything about movie stars Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I replied that I know who they are, but only saw one film with Brad Pitt in it (The Twelve Monkeys--quite good!). So what about them?

B said they had come to her ward's school, where their eldest attends...at this outrageously expensive Lycee Francais de New York on the upper east side of Manhattan. Tuition hovers near $20k a year for one kid alone! Apparently, my friend missed being at a school party the day before, where Angelina came and was very amiable with the teachers, parents and nannies (mostly nannies), and took photos with them. Did I want to come along when I arrived in NYC on Friday when school ended to see her?

It didn't matter. Did I really care about Angelina and Brad or any other movie star for that matter? Just to be a pal, I said, sure why not! %-0

Since I don't own a cell phone, we wasted over an hour looking for each other around Macy's. Our friend kept reminding us to be specific where to meet (she was working); what could be more specific than meeting in front of Macy's, I thought? I just read off the bus ticket address of where it drops off passengers! My friend B took it literally, and went to the wrong place. She phoned our friend D, who told her no, you go to this end of the street! I ended up calling her from a pay phone after half an hour. We both arrived early, but managed not to see each other for over an hour, even though we were probably less than a 100 feet from each other the whole time! Macy's takes up A WHOLE BLOCK in NYC.

After a nice big lunch at Todai's, a sushi buffet, we rushed uptown on subway. School was going to be let out soon (my friend had the weekend off; her employers went to Bermuda with their families)...no bus in sight! B got anxious, called her nanny friends about any star sightings at school? Nope.

We stopped by her employers' building to drop off my rolling duffle bag for the day. It was a different place than last time I visited there. Some actor also lives there--one of the Baldwin brothers, in this swanky upper west side apartment. A three-bedroom flat can cost you only 8 million. That's all! But it was nice that I could just leave my bag behind the front desk for the day for the men at the desk (all in suits) to guard. ;-)

We were on the upper west side. My friend asked me again did I still want to go and try to catch Angelina? Sure, of course! You only live once! %-) I know she wanted to go more than me because she missed her the day before. But time was running out. So she hailed a taxi to cut across town through Central Park and around it to the upper east side...and blew more than eight dollars to get us there.

When we arrived at the corner, it was quite a sight, seeing lots of cute blond and brunette school children being gripped tightly by their nannies of different nationalities waiting to cross the street. One of B's nanny friends from Russia or some Slavic-speaking country was really funny when she described her experience meeting Angelina: "I felt bad for her, with everybody asking to take pictures with her and asking her autograph! So, I just put out my hand and said, 'Can I shake your hand?' and she did. I saw her three times already. That's enough for me. It's not exciting anymore."

Soon enough, people were gathering at the front gate of Lycee Francais and the commotion was getting louder, with paparazzi appearing out of nowhere! A black SUV drove up and there she was, with some pock-marked man who obviously wasn't her honey, but looked like a mean bodyguard type straight out of a Bond movie. It all happened so fast--she just walked into the gate and out: someone had her son ready to go (I didn't see him).

I couldn't bring myself to take her picture. I was feeling guilty: I'd be invading her privacy. I already was, just standing there gawking with everyone else! And I must admit, I was also feeling pretty shallow at that moment! ;-( But it was rather exciting I must admit, being part of a scene I only see on tv news! :-0 It was enough for me just to observe her and the crowd.

B couldn't believe I didn't take a photo. I told her the reasons why, as stated in the paragraph above, and she understood. Besides, everybody rushed to the front, including photographers, so I let them push past me. The funny thing was, B didn't really like Angelina much--it was just a celebrity "rush"...the excitement of seeing movie star.

I wonder how many people living in the Big Apple make a point of engaging in star gazing?

Apparently, those few minutes Angelina was there got caught on some website, probably dealing with entertainment gossip. Tonight, my dear friend D emailed me the photo of her appearance that day, from the opposite angle, which showed our pal B smiling and holding up the camera. Where were you, J, she asked--weren't you there also? Yes I was...I let myself get pushed back by the crowd and just enjoyed absorbing the whole scene. :-)

It seems that once someone becomes a public figure--particularly a movie star, everybody takes liberty of calling that person by his or her first name. Guilty me! I write "Angelina and Brad" but only refer to family and friends by their initial for privacy. Perhaps I shouldn't feel so guilty about that, since by virtue of entering certain professions, you run the risk of becoming famous. ;-) I can't imagine what life would be like for the celebrities' children, apart from a life of luxury...to have paparazzi and the public watching your every move would be enough to drive anyone crazy. No one in their right mind wants to be under a constant microscope.

So much for dreams of being famous! ;-D If I were to achieve notoriety in my lifetime, may it be for a worthy cause, such as championing the rights of women to be treated as equally as men as human beings, so that they may enjoy the same fair treatment in courts, in society, and at home.

Later, we spent the next several hours at the Metropolitan Museum of Art because I really wanted to see the special exhibition of one of my favorite artists, Rembrant van Rijn, and other Dutch painters of the period. I was pleasantly surprised B didn't mind going because when she went to a special exhibition on Dada-ism at MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) last year with our friend D, she complained she didn't understand any of it; it was too weird! I loved it! I saw it by myself on the Target Free Friday night. ;-)

I got to visit the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens with D the next day, for free. There was just a two hour time frame when the public can visit for free on Saturdays. We just had barely half an hour to spare we when arrived; it took over an hour to get from Bronx, where she lives, to Brooklyn. I'd never been to Brooklyn before. (I always try to do something different when I visit!). It was very nice, especially the Japanese Garden. But since it was October, there wasn't a whole lot to see...so good thing we went in free!

Amazingly, there were quite a few rose bushes still alive with blooming (and dying) roses. It boggled my mind that there were SO many different varieties. Come in spring next time, D said. It's beautiful then...so colorful. :-)

We went to a birthday party for a 3 year old--or rather, post-party snacking.;-) Then we headed over to another friend's 77th birthday. This lady is a real character. Everybody in the building calls her Mommy. Even me. She was all gussied up in a green gown (for good luck--and green for money!), even though red is her favorite color, like mine! All her friends wanted to take photos with her, so she posed with them like a Filipina starlet! Mommy's a shrewd business woman who knows how to party and dance and eat! I met all these people on previous visits, so they're almost like an extended family in the northeast for me: always trying to make me eat even when I've already eaten! %-0

D and I escaped the party scene (my belly was SO full after two party eatings) so she could pick up her camera from her niece's coworker in their ice cream shop in uptown Manhattan. Then we went downtown and took the tram across the harbor to Roosevelt Island. It was less than 10 minutes, but it was fun being in the air, like a ski lift (which I've never been on)! Nice and breezy evening after a stifling hot and humid July-like day in October. Not to be missed for a fabulous nightime view of the city!

I didn't even know a tram existed in NYC! Round trip using our metro pass is just two dollars. D told me it was in a movie with Sylvester Stallone where he had to rescue the people on it in a very outrageous plot that can only happen in the movies. Good thing I wasn't there last fall: the tram got stuck at night for SIX HOURS before the occupants got rescued by having to transfer to either a helicopter or to the tram going the opposite direction! %-0

We took a break while waiting for the tram to return us to Manhattan and strolled along the walkway. D said that side of the harbor used to be really polluted. It was also a favorite place for the Mafia to dispose of those who disappointed them in some way! %-0 That part of the harbor is apparently cleaned up now.

Like the night before, I didn't get back until 12:30 or so! We slept in Sunday, which made D and B miss Mass. We went directly to The Cloisters museum.

The Cloisters is part of the Metropolitan Musuem of Art and dedicated to art and art and architecture of the European Middle Ages. It's a castle on a hill! VERY cool! Lots of history behind the art there. And a very nice place to rest and have peace, especially with Gregorian chants in the background. A must see for anyone who appreciates art and history. The gardens are beautiful, too. :-)

We got in for free, thanks to the invitation of the niece of D's employer. Imagine the looks on the staff's faces when she said she knows JL. So the guy calls JL to say there's someone here named M (her formal name), while another staffer sneers under her breath, "Yeah...one of those kinds...!" :-( "What did you say your name was?" the guy asks. "M", says my friend D, "tell her I work for her aunt K" HAH! How many people can claim that?

JL is high-up there on the administrative staff at The Cloisters, in charge of most of the staffers after 11 years, starting out as a cashier! She was a really pleasant young woman, barely in her 30s and very tall! She took us where almost no one is allowed to go: the top of the castle tower where the president's office is. Really nice office! ;-) It had almost panoramic views of Bronx, some of Manhattan and New Jersey from afar. While we were inside chatting, an older gentleman opened the door to peek in and just for a moment, my friends and I felt like guilty schoolgirls and thought, "Oh shit! J is going to lose her job!"

But J was very nonchalant and said, "Hi! Just showing my friends around!" and introduced us. Can't remember his name or title but I know he was up there in The Cloisters powers that be. He was just wondering what was going on since he noticed that the president's office door was open! ;-0

JL was very sweet and accomodating in her busy schedule and invited us to come at any time. Just tell the people at the front desk to ask for me, she said. Do we really want to endure the scutiny of the staff again? ;-) In any case, she added, be sure to see the film XYZ (can't remember the name--has the word "zero" in it!) coming out in November; it stars Elijah Wood. (I don't know who he is!) She's playing a party girl! JL is a part-time actress on her days off managing the staff at The Cloisters.

We ate Thai food at a popular place that night; D treated us. It was so popular (and so tiny a place) that there were long waiting lines outside. We ordered a whole red snapper; being Asian, we all expected the fish to fill the platter! But this sucker must have been a baby fish! %-0 No head (not that I care about the head), but it only occupied half the platter! A rip-off for the price charged!

It was pretty tasty food. I'm not a big fan of Thai food because they usually give too little for too much $$. And I'm not that fond of coconut milk on non-dessert food. Those waitresses couldn't wait to get rid of us; we ourselves had to wait 40 minutes for a table.

B wanted to go to a bar called Tao, next to the Four Seasons Hotel, where one goes to be seen, like celebrities. So we went, at the recommendation of one fast-talking and jovial concierge (or staff) at the apt where her employers live and where she works as nanny to their daughters.

Unfortunately, B chickened out, which irritated D. As soon as D said, "Of the three of us, you are the best suited to go inside and take a look! You look sexy and well-dressed! Look at me and J! We look like tourists!", a very tall, svelte blonde and her equally tall male companion walked out of the Four Seasons Hotel and walked by us. He wasn't particularly handsome, but he looked like he could have been some Bollywood movie star with his shiny, black ,wavy hair, his sharp designer suit and oh yes...the way he held that cigar! So very sophisticated, my dear! %-) He gave us an amused smile, not a smirk or sneer, but a sort of look that said, "Oh really? You three actually think you will walk into Tao?!" He had quite an aura about him! However, I thought his look was bordering on the vacuous Calvin Klein model gaze!

D and I saw his look and burst out laughing! B didn't see it and was puzzled. "Now I am challenged, to go visit Tao!" D announced. "That look he gave us! That amused look! C'mon J! Let's go in! B doesn't have the guts to go in!" At that, we dumped my backpack and D's handbags onto B and marched right into Tao, behind the sleek and suave Beautiful People.

It was warm, dark, and smoky in there, with large golden statues of Buddha at the entrance inside and way inside. Standing behind a line of the Beautiful People, the first question we heard from the host at the podium was, "Do you have a reservation?" That did it! We turned around and took business cards and matchboxes and headed out. Me in my shorts and t-shirt, D in her capris and t-shirt. ;-) It was like sneaking into a forbidden place. And we can thank our supposed Bollywood star for inspiring us! We might as well have been ants to his mind.

Again, we didn't get home until past midnight!

Monday, before I left, I was able to buzz through the Pearl River Mart on Broadway St. A three-story store full of mostly Chinese wares, art, furniture, clothes and food. Got a lot of Xmas shopping done there for the in-laws. Such deals! :-D Not enough time to shop! %-( Actually, I had planned to spend a few hours there, but B had some plans in store for me, like eating lunch first at her friend's store.

I had to think fast: no use getting upset! I didn't want to leave a bad taste in her mouth and be temperamental and appear ungrateful. It's more important to spend time with friend than shop, isn't it? So we compromised. :-) But I didn't get to food shop for Chinese veggies which are much cheaper than where I live, for the most part. I only had a little over an hour, so I just grabbed stuff, although I had my Xmas list. Got everything I wanted for them, which is good because they were cheap (but expensive if I'd looked for them online, if you include shipping). :-)

Too bad I got on the wrong bus going home! %-0 Never been kicked off a bus before. But at least I got off before they took off! I was extremely upset, mostly at myself.
Hubby says I'm a volcano! %-0 I went stomping in the waiting area to ask what was going on?! They started speaking Cantonese to me (this was a Chinatown bus service and had to say, STOP! I don't speak Chinese!

Nobody pointed out which bus to take--I saw only one marked bus, which the agent pointed out when I first arrived. There was a white bus with just designs but no name--it was in traffic, so I thought it was some random bus! Oh well! I had to wait two hours for the next and last bus to Wilmington. I read for a while to calm myself down, then decided I had better eat. I left my heafy duffel bag at the mercy of strangers, at the end of a sofa, and went three doors down to a humble eatery where they filled my styrofoam container full of rice and three vegetarian dishes I chose--all for a whopping $3.24!! ;-) Very homey tasting! Made my belly happy! ;-) I love eating at places like that! This time I took the food back to the bus company's waiting room and ate in front of everyone. Some people were eating. Two women spied on me eating away for some time, walked out, and then came back with food.:-)

I didn't get home until past 11:30 p.m. But that's okay. My annual whirlwind weekend with my dearest friend and company was the best kind of fun! We are free to be ourselves and be as wild and crazy as we want! :-D

I love NYC. Even w/o my friend being there, I still love it, although her and her friends' presence makes it that much more pleasant! I've spent almost whole days exploring the city on my own. SO much going on there! Hence, the city that never sleeps. I don't know that my mind ever sleeps either. Hubby always says I' m a restless spirit on an endless flight. It's the maddening intensity of the place that I am drawn to. Maybe that's why I love visiting the Big Apple. :-)

Becoming the Bicycle Advocate

2007-10-01T00:04:00.000-04:00

Thanks to you, Mr. Feynman, I have been able to walk through stores with my bike helmet on (with blinkie light on the back helmet, but not turned on), x-large reflective vest that makes me look like a highway worker, backpack on my back, and maybe even one day--my safety glasses, if I don't take them off by habit as soon as my bike is locked.

"What do YOU care what other people think?"

Where would I be if I hadn't read the writings of the late physicist, Richard Feynman? He would say that to his first wife often and she would throw that line back to him, when challenging him with what he thought could be socially embarrassing or harebrained ideas. I never tire of those words of his! They're an inspiration to me. :-)

Recently I acquired a hybrid bicycle from my fil's property which had been sitting in a garage for who knows how long, but it was in pretty good shape. I'd been missing riding a bicycle since we moved to Delaware 13 years ago. Fil and mil strongly discouraged us from bicycling in rural Sussex County because people were not used to bicyclists. And really, there was nowhere to ride because the two lane roads were so narrow. Now there are more bicyclists around, especially near the beaches.

Hubby and I haven't owned a mobile prison (car) since 2003 when we moved upstate from rural Sussex County; my honey has been relying on his bike, and me the bus. I'M quite the expert on public transportation! Throw me in any city, anywhere, and I will find my way around town faster than I ever would by car!

However, when I need to get to work, waiting for a late-running bus can severely raise my tension level, and I don't like that. I can say this much though to those who may be alienated from public transportation: a city bus is obligated to show up, no matter what the weather brings. If your car breaks down--or worse, is involved in a car accident, then what are you left with?? High stress calling work, home, insurance company, towing company, etc. With the bus, the attendant headaches are mainly on the bus people. You know a bus will show up sooner or later...or the powers that be will have to answer to a lot of pissed off people.

Plus, you can get lots of good reading done on the bus. ;-) I've read many a great novel over the years on the public transportation system: War and Peace (2x!), The Iliad, Moby Dick, The Sound and the Fury, and more, plus a lot of non-fiction works. You can't do that driving a car.

Or riding a bike.

But, with riding a bike, you have freedom! Freedom to explore! Exhilaration! An adrenalin rush! The thrill of speed! Freedom to move your legs as you wish--with the satisfaction that you're getting exercise while traveling to where you want to go.

Nothing like fueling a bicycle with your own power and knowing a soldier or a citizen didn't have to die to fuel it.

Freedom also brings with it responsibility: knowing and following traffic rules. And also being well-equipped. We've both done a lot of reading online and with books and a video from the library on effective cycling. We want to be safe and traffic-savvy efficient riders. Nothing less. No one can predict anyone's behavior behind the wheel (I already slipped and fell on the bike in front of a pizza joint right on our Main Street the other day for all to see! ), but it's better to be as prepared as possible.

Lately, I find myself observing bicyclists the same way I observe everyone's posture and gait while they walk (from a massage therapist's viewpoint)! The more familiar I become with traffic rules and good bicycling habits, the more shocked I am with other bicyclists' lack of adherence to simple safety principles--down to the simple things of not even wearing a helmet! I wanna have my brain around for as long as possible and protect it as much as possible!

I'm all set to go, now! I just need my night light for the front of the bike. I've got new tires for pavement riding, a bell, hubby's old bike rack (he got a newer, better one for heavy loads), my crate for a basket, a x-large reflective vest (so I can wear it over winter coats), fenders, blinkie lights for the helmet, safety goggles so insects--and rocks and dirt from cars won't fly into my eyeballs, U-lock and cable...and of course, my snazzy RED helmet. :-)

This is just my third week of urban cycling. I can't say I've ever ridden like this before. Growing up, it was riding in the 'burbs. It was the same when we lived in Goleta, CA (near Santa Barbara), just riding in a residential area to reach the university campus or to the grocery store. The latter involved cutting through a wide swath of a bumpy dirt field, which was great fun! :-D

Now, we live near a university and the main street of the city, which involves quite a bit of traffic: cars, people and other bicyclists that I am not accustomed to yet. I'm getting more comfortable with each ride though.:-)

Hubby did hours of research on bike safety and equipment for my sake and also his. I know he's more worried about me, but I do remember him walking into the store I once worked in and he was scraped up: a lady didn't see where she was going and he flipped over the trunk of her car...and all she gave him was a lousy $20! %-( And the one day he didn't bother with his bike helmet last year was the day some dumb bunny ran right into him because she was busy talking on her cell phone. The police officer didn't have much sympathy for him...maybe because he didn't have his helmet and/or other safety gear on him. I think it's because she put on a good drama act. I wasn't present (thankfully...else my mouth might have gone off), but I know that hubby was visibly annoyed with her hysteria and "current lack of funds". It wasn't even her van that she was driving. We didn't hear anything from her, after promises of sending $$ for bike repairs. She oughta thank her lucky stars that we're not the suing type of people.

We are almost fully equipped for night riding, as soon as we get our flashlights for as our front lights. There is a whole bicycle culture out there that I wasn't aware of! It's really neat reading their websites...they did all the hard work for us already!

I especially admire the bicycle advocates and the women bicyclists who have traveled solo by bicycle in faraway lands--beyond the tourist destinations. Places like Turkey (I love that place!), the "stans" in Central Asia, Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia. It all just sounds like a lot of fun to travel by bicycle! But I wouldn't do it until I was an experienced commuter and knew something about bike mechanics.

And from what I've read so far, I think bicycle advocates are very progressive-minded people. Yes, they may still need their cars for work and travel, but cars are not their focus. Bicycling is.

For some food for thought, check out the article, Make Money By Commuting on Your Bicycle.

By walking into the store and looking like a bicycle geek of sorts, I am making a statement to the world: that I'm proud to be a bicyclist and not afraid to look like one either! Bicycling is cool! It brings my honey and me closer together in spirit, helps keep us fit, and helps us not contribute to air pollution.

It's the civilized thing to do.

Besides, I'd rather be SEEN by cars (especially at a busy intersection) than not. Why should I care how I look in the grocery store or anywhere else as long as I'm well- equipped? I do not care what others may think! Why, this morning I wore my safety glasses over my regular glasses! %-D

I intend to be bicycling well into my 100's...! Freedom is very nice thing indeed.

If you have a bicycle in your possession, is it collecting dust? Or are you giving it fresh air? ;-)

* * * * * * * *

I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.

--Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Super Therapist for the Day!

2007-09-16T23:41:00.000-04:00

What can I attribute my energy to that I was able to massage a body every ten minutes for several hours straight with no interruption, have a 20 minute meal break, and then work another hour more, during the Newark Community Day fair, today?

The beautiful weather? Eating Chinese rice noodles and shrimp before leaving? Chilling out with Pink Martini before leaving? Doing squats and pushups before leaving?

Does it even matter?!

Today's event turned out much better than Newark Nite in June. More hours and daytime hours, for one. Which means many more peeps. And of course, the word FREE. Charge a dollar a minute and only a few will be willing to cough it up. Offer mini massages for FREE and people are willing to wait until eternity, almost!

I myself can't believe all the people who waited in line for us to give them a much needed massage. (Everybody needs a massage!) Or maybe I should believe it considering we offered free massages. Ten minutes is better than nothing! Five minutes doesn't do much at all. It was like a factory: one body following another body! I barely had time to grab my water bottle!

From 11:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. or thereabouts, I was on a ROLL! In my element! Every ten minutes a new body was on my table! Sixty minutes=one hour. Sixty divided by ten equals six. SIX bodies an hour! I've never even had six clients in a day...yet!

I have had five relatives in a day, bless their hearts! ;-)

Of course, I prefer the longer massages (60-90 min), but you do what you gotta do to get more business. Two people will win an hour-long massage. We got a lot of new names to market to, too. And I got one person to commit to a massage this week with a substantial discount. :-)

Even with incentives, few people are willing to make an appointment. Or perhaps I should say, part with their money. Save $20 off a regular price massage OR buy a gift certificate: BOOK TODAY! Other massage vendors were charging a dollar a minute...maybe that's why our waiting lines were long and non-stop! FREE is such a nice word, isn't it? ;-) Selling is a hard job...and all the more challenging when you are selling your own services rather than those of a company, which I have done before.

The most important thing for me, was that I made a lot of people happy with loosened muscles today. :-)) That's my focus. My livlihood. My joy!

I finally had to turn away a group of college gals and asked them to return in half an hour because I HAD TO EAT! %-0 Let alone find a Port-a-Potty! I went to the area where most of the food vendors were situated and first walked by the Indonesian stand, but I heard the women behind the table telling someone they had no chicken satay left. It was past 3:30, after all. Then I found the Chinese Student's Union table and they had food and trinkets for sale. I always go to them on Newark Community Day--I like to support students because I remember being a college student.

They had the food that Americans like and most Chinese don't (unless cooked at home or for Chinese people): fried rice, egg rolls, and fried dumplings. Fried everything on their menu. It was waaaay too greasy, but it was good because I was famished. Simply starving beyond imagination! Heart attack food can sure be tasty when you almost don't care WHAT you put in your belly! Even though the food was cold, it filled the bill. I ate part of it walking back to our station, then I ate in front of everybody waiting for a massage! Told one lady I couldn't work on her because I was eating. I HAD TO EAT! No food in my belly makes for an awfully cranky yours truly! :-0

So she walked away disappointed because my colleague was working on someone else. Geez, lady, did you expect me to drop my plate at your beck and call? I would not even stop eating if you paid me! ;-( What good am I to you if I don't take care of myself first? (Well, THAT'S worthy of another blog entry!)

My belly full, I was ready to go back to work for free again.

For another hour and some odd minutes.

That makes some 30 or 31 bodies I think! I really did lose count, but I do know that I was working non-stop for several hours at a time today.

One other detail: we had tables instead of a chair today. Table work IS much more pleasant than chair massage and MUCH easier on therapist's body, especially for prolonged periods of time. I know I'd be more tired than I am now if we had to do chair massage (which I and many of my therapist friends do not like) all day cuz I've done it before and I hated it. I can deliver a much, much more effective massage with the client on the table.

Oh my...I'm probably gonna feel the effects of today, when I wake up in the morning! Then I'll need a massage! %-)

Give Women a Higher Status Than Dogs

2007-08-25T19:43:00.000-04:00

I cannot get an article I read the other night out of my head:

"Beat a Woman? Play on; Beat a Dog? You're Gone" , by Sandra Kobrin, from Women e-News.

It made my blood BOIL!

Please read it: it's well-written and ought to be on the front pages of every paper on earth.

Animal abuse is certainly inexcusable. What's the point? :-(( It's just wrong, let alone inhumane. But why do people seem to get more huffed up about a football star involved in high stakes dog fighting (and death) than some star athlete who gets arrested for spousal abuse or beating up a girlfriend?

Does this mean women are STILL second class citizens in the 21st century? In America, the most free country in the world?

That appears to be so, judging from indifference of popular media and popular national sports organizations.

I never have paid much attention to sports/sports news, except during the Olympics, which I enjoy watching. :-) But I cannot relate to what seems to be contrived aggression, or just all out uncontrolled tempers on the playing field. I am mainly targeting men here, since they are usually the ones who get in trouble during any sort of sport...that's not to say that women are incapable of being nasty to one another--but you rarely, if ever, hear about female athletes beating up the ones they supposedly love.

I don't know the intricate details of hormones, but I thought sports was a way for guys to release some of that testosterone! (What do I know? I'm a woman!) Yet the ones who are making an unimaginable amount of money can keep playing their game while beating their honey up at home. And even get arrested for it. They don't have to worry about a thing. Are they thinking: so what if I slap my woman around when I come home? I got a big game to play,tomorrow!

This tells me that the head honchos of these huge sports leagues have their values skewed, to put it mildly. Sure the bottom line is important, but is it SO important you have to keep a certain player regardless of the fact he battered his wife or girlfriend--often repeatedly, AND got arrested for it??

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN, HERE? :-(

I hope more people will make a BIG STINK about this, so that the powers that be in these sports leagues will never, ever tolerate spousal and girlfriend abuse again.

One might say: well, domestic abuse is their damn business; whatever goes on behind closed doors is their private affair.

That is true...to a point. Once the injured woman has to seek medical help, it's everyone's business. Concerned family and friends will seek to help her, which can cause more stress all around. Fees will have to be paid for jail bail. Taxpayers will have to pay for yet another man who didn't know how to keep his balls and brains where they belong. If children are involved, then their emotional turmoil will likely go unnoticed while they try to be brave and cope with daily living.

Spousal abuse affects the community, near and far, directly and indirectly.

It'll be a fine day when society will view this sort of abuse with zero tolerance and impose severe penalties. When people on the street will recoil in horror when they hear about someone committing spousal/domestic abuse...just as if they heard about a bloody murder today.

And why not?

Abuse is like murdering someone's soul: that person trusted you and you have no thought except to satisfy your own selfish needs by physically and/or verbally lashing out at that someone who was supposed to be special to you. And you spill your poison over and over again, refusing to clean up. That's as good as a slow, painful death, to my mind.

Hey! What about the millions raked in by these fantastic athletes who abuse the women in their lives? Too bad our society doesn't value the brains of those brilliant scientists in the research halls of academia who endeavor to make our world a better place to live. I'm sure they would be happy to have some of those millions to fund their research to improve our lives.

The leaders of the sports leagues could actually make our world a better place to live by taking a step forward in a very loud way: they can announce a zero tolerance policy for ANY player arrested for spousal abuse or beating up their girlfriend. ANY player!!

OR, maybe the hundreds of thousands of sports fans will beat the CEOs to the punch and demand a zero tolerance policy towards spouse and girlfriend abuse? Imagine if all the fans began to boycott their favorite team games as a matter of principle: we don't support you because you condone the beating of wives and girlfriends!

Think the head honchos or the fans can take a stand against domestic abuse?

Perhaps it'll depend on whether or not they truly value women, equal to men as human beings, worthy of respect.

A Mountain or a Molehill?

2007-08-11T22:39:00.000-04:00

My dear sister in-law was recently diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma. :-( I am not a religious person, but I do respect and admire her steadfast faith in God and the fact that she has a large support base of equally devout friends and family. And of course, she does have fan club members like hubby, myself, my sis and bil, and other family members on the in-law side who may not be as devout or not at all religious. ;-)

My sil, S, is also a good friend as well. Not only do I admire her steadfast faith, but also her sunny disposition and levelheadedness. I have never known her to be ill-tempered in the least. Her sister recently put up a webpage for her at caringbridge.org. Check it out!

I think cancer has to be one of the scariest things known to man. When a loved one gets it, it tends to remind me of the fact that my problems are small, compared to the one that received that diagonsis. I'm starting to lose count of the people I've known who've suffered the effects of cancer.

Someone's got it worse than you, I tell myself, whenever I feel overwhelmed.

That helps me to shrink my head a bit. ;-)

One of the reasons I made a decision long ago to have at least ONE volunteer activity throughout my life was to ensure in some small way that I was giving back to the community...and to remind myself that no matter HOW sucky things may seem at any given time, there is ALWAYS someone out there who's got it MUCH much worse than I do. Or perhaps, more than I ever did.

My first volunteer activity was as a mentor. I started with mentoring an elementary school girl from a broken family (most mentoring is with children from troubled families). I did that for 2.5 years. Then we moved and I decided to try the middle school age group and I got another girl for another two years. That was great. THEN, I got a girl for one year...and that was enough for awhile. She was totally unmotivated--and despite my efforts, I began to feel I was wasting my time.

I took a year off. Actually, I'm still not mentoring, due to my schedule. But I am tutoring English to an ESL student, off and on. As long as I have at least one thing going on, I'm feeling useful. :-) I hope it's true that you reap what you sow.

All I have to do is listen to the news or open the pages of any National Geographic magazine issue to realize there is someone out there who is living in danger, squalor, without personal freedoms, or unimaginable misery. Or all of the above. It helps me put things in perspective.

In recent years, whenever I'm in a bad situation, I try to ask myself whether I'm going to make a mountain or a molehill out of it. To stress or not? Get heated and age myself...or chill and breathe? I'd like to think I'm improving on the "not stress" and "chill and breathe" aspects of healthy living. ;-)

How did I come by this thinking, you may ask?

When I was a roving reporter on my college weekly, I interviewed a student who was confined to her wheelchair and who needed someone to take notes for her. She was studying for her master's degree in liberal arts and had returned to college after raising a family.

I asked her a question which could have invited scorn on her part since the answer seemed so obvious, but I asked it anyway. I can't tell you what my question was because I'm too embarrassed to remember and I don't have my clips of written work on me at the moment! But basically, I inquired, did she feel challenged by her disability to complete her degree?

She gave me a very sharp reply with a matronly tone of disapproval: "Of course not! This is what I set out to do!" She set out to enrich her mind as did each student on campus. Her disability was not on her radar, it was only a fact of life, not her focus.

This was Mills College, for goodness sakes! Women rule! WE can do ANYTHING we want! :-))

Wow! When I wrote her story in the paper, I realized I had nothing in the world worth complaining about. Not at all. She was my inspiration for the rest of my time in college--especially when I thought I was going to die of stress during finals week/graduation week. ;-) But to this day, I still remember her, even though I can't remember her name. She still inspires me.

As does my sil in her journey to recovery. :-)

I've actually never seen a molehill, by the way. Have you?

How Self-Conscious are You?

2007-07-14T00:18:00.000-04:00

Would it bother you if strangers watched you chow down?

This afternoon I sat on concrete steps bordering a parking lot and sidewalk, famished, and thinking about what the late physicist Richard Feynman often said to his first wife: "What do you care what other people think?"

What did I care that I was seated near the bus stop sign, within 10 feet of the closest car sitting in two-lane traffic waiting for the red light to turn green? I wanted to eat! I had to EAT! Now, not a moment later! Let 'em all stare at me, I thought. I'll never see them again...just peeps in passing cars.

I whipped out my little cheese stick and strawberry yogurt granola bar that I'd bought from the 7-Eleven across the street and wolfed them down. And then I finished those off with my nearly-filled 1 liter bottle of water.

Only two sets of waiting cars sat in front of me. It didn't bother me that they were there, I was so hungry! Then my vanity played on me: I needed to re-apply my lipstick after eating. I've seen many a woman apply their make-up in public: bus, airplane, airport waiting area, restaurant, park bench, etc.

How about in front of traffic?

So I did. I whipped out my Ruby Desire lipstick by Maybelline and free Blue Cross/Blue Shield compact mirror and skillfully re-did my lips for all to see! Oh, I don't know if anyone actually looked as they came to the red light. All I know is that I like my lips to have some shiny color to them!

I had a bit of practice doing my own thing at bus stop a couple of weeks ago in Washington, D.C. I had some medical business to take care of, and there was royal screw up on the receptionist's part, which gave me time to run to Chinatown and get something to eat. Since I couldn't eat in the medical center, I ate at the bus stop right outside it.

I had ordered what turned out to be really bad dumplings; Americanized. But since I don't believe in wasting food unless it really tastes toxic or is toxic, I ate it. And I was under a time crunch to get back to my appointment, so I gobbled four of six dumplings right there. They were hot and steamy, with hot sauce. I didn't use much of the hot sauce because my tongue and tummy can't tolerate too-spicy stuff.

While I ate, a bus stopped by, and a young family sat next to me. I could feel a toddler's eyeballs boring into me! I only glanced sideways once to see that she was staring at me eating noisily. Didn't bother me because: I WAS HUNGRY!

I did what I had to do and that's that! Stare all you want, I told them silently. I'll never see you again! I don't care. I have to eat! I have to make my lips look good afterwards, too!
;-)

How self-concious am I anyway?

Hopefully, less and less as time goes by.

Take for example, my fuzzy, florescent leggies. Hubby loves them just they way they are, thankfully. :-) I haven't seen many women at all who've let their legs go natural.

I haven't shaved them since high school and I'm sorry I ever did it because I think it caused my hair on my legs to grow darker. I'm not ever going to shave them again because of that, but mainly because shaving was a pain in the ass. I hated it. I've got better things to do with my time.

Sometimes, though, I get really hard stares. Mostly from women.

How shallow of you! I say to them silently. Why are you looking at another woman's legs? If they look so repulsive to you, don't look at them for goodness sakes! :-(

The looks can sting if I let them bother me. Most of the time, they don't. Every once in while I ask hubby if he still likes my fuzzy leggies, and he says, "Of course. Leave them alone." ;-)

Between him and Richard Feynman, I should just put it out of my mind, shouldn't I?

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tempted to rid my legs of hair. My sis mentioned waxing to me recently. I thought maybe I could try it once and hopefully the hair will take longer to grow back--and lighter. And yet, I like to be as natural as possible in all ways. We'll see.

How shallow will I be by giving in to society's standards of beauty? I already have given in a bit by buying makeup, though I use a minimal amount.

I don't tan--I get a "tint". As a result, black hair on pale legs are rather striking! I have fuzzy arms, too, but they're not as noticeable.

With age comes wisdom.

I don't know where that adage came from, but I hope it's true. One being the wisdom not to bother about what other people think about you. :-)

Being involved with taekwondo has helped me a lot to build confidence in that regard. Having to perform in front of instructors, judges at tournaments, and your classmates over and over again is a great confidence booster!

Yep, there have been events in the past where I was put uncomfortably in the spotlight:

Starting to play before I was supposed to during a class recital when I was four years old at Yamaha Music School/Class!
Picked last on the team during p.e. every single week and year during my school years.
Performing horribly on physical fitness tests in front of my classmates.
Standing out like a sore thumb on my trips to Turkey (especially the first time).
Riding bus #38 through San Francisco's Chinatown and having all the passenger's eyeballs stick to you as you come on board.
Going to a beauty salon recommended by a coworker and then upon arrival, being stared at as if I were from Mars.

Among countless other times...!

The important thing to remember is to just be myself, eh? And nothing less! :-D

Yearning for a Revolution!

2007-06-10T16:03:00.000-04:00

If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.

Abigail Adams (1744-1818)
First lady to the 2nd US president

* * * * * *

From time to time I have fantasies of imagining myself at the helm of a worldwide revolution. :-)

A revolution to change people's thinking about half of humanity: women!

And this need not involve blood, guts, or loss of lives. Leave that to the warmongering politicians (and let them fight amongst themselves!).

I want a revolution to shake up the thinking of men and women worldwide: that women deserve to be treated with respect and should be afforded the same opportunities as men, starting when they are young girls. This means, EVERY girl in the world should be able to have the same education any boy would have.

Why not? I would think that any society would want to use all of its brains, not just half.

Why, in the 21st century, are women still being treated like second class citizens in so many parts of the world? :-( Valued less than livestock in some places, denied even an elementary education as young girls, and treated as slaves or worse in today's world?

This is the very stuff that makes my blood boil.

I realize there are many economic, political, and cultural factors for why women are still treated shamelessly bad--sometimes worse than animals, as if nothing has changed in the last millennium, but I don't think those are excuses by any measure to treat women as less than equal to men, in terms of being fellow human beings.

Women helped bring life into this world! They are the nurturers and caregivers of humanity!

Yet whether it be peacetime or wartime, they are physically and mentally violated with impunity--by strangers or by so-called loved ones. They are targeted by hungry advertisers who send them messages that they're never beautiful enough unless they use certain products. They're told by society that they're lacking as a woman if they do not become a mother--regardless of the reason. They're easily labeled a bitch when they have the courage to express their opinions, regarded as dirty if a bit too much skin is showing or even for having their period, and they're quickly judged by others based on their appearance.

Among other things.

Get a glimpse of what's happening to the women of the world at:

Amnesty International's Violence Against Women Campaign

Global Alliance Against Traffic in Women

Asian-American Network Against Abuse of Human Rights

That's only the tip of the iceberg...

If I were the leader of the kind of revolution I want, I would pull out all the stops to make sure that throughout the world:

All the children of the world have a basic education (to my mind, that means through high school).
Violence against women is UNACCEPTABLE and that severe penalities--with a good deal of public shaming, would be imposed on all those who have violated women (or worse).
Women in difficult domestic situations have a safe haven to go to.
Trafficking of women and young girls for prostitution and other forms of slavery is STOPPED and it perpetrators duly punished in an international tribunal.
Anyone attempting to promote the objectification of women via media, brothels, or whatever, would be fined an exhorbitant fee which would go towards shelters for women. And then maybe...thrown in the slammer!
Strengthen and enforce existing laws to protect the rights of women.

I challenge the men of the world to stand up for their wives, girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and women friends in their lives. They don't have to pick a fight--just let the other party know that the offending behavior or remark is unacceptable. The other party can very well be another woman--there are many women who have backward ideas about a woman's place in this world.

I do not wish to be part of the masses that would keep half of humanity from
progressing to help make the world a better place to live. I want to be one who shows the world that women expect to be respected as a fellow human being! :-)

When there are more women leading the countries of the world, this world will surely be a very cool place to live in!

And it'll be a fine time to be on planet Earth when men will be as turned on by a woman's mind as they are by her anatomical parts.

This is my ongoing dream; I'm continually searching for a way to contribute. It's my goal in life: to shake up and shape up people's view of women...to blaze a trail and boldly go where no woman has gone before! ;-)

womanwarrior007

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Author's Note

References

This essay is published in Free Software, Free Society: The Selected Essays of Richard M. Stallman.

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