In Memoriam to a Dear Friend

There is a deep ache in hubby's and my heart today. A very deep ache. We just learned his best friend~and my dear friend, as well, died this summer. :-((

B was surfing around, looking up the latest activities of our pal when he saw that the first thing on Google that came up was "G--memorial...". First, he thought perhaps it was another person who shared our friend's namesake, but when he went to the page, sure enough, there was a photo of our dear friend.

Talk about shock. :-(

Here we were, waiting for G to get in touch with us, as was his usual way, which--as I wrote on the memorial blogpot site, is testament to G and his sometimes larger than life character...always seeming to find ways to keep touch with EVERYONE in his life in some form.

Really, though: friendship is a two-way street is it not? Both sides must strive to keep in touch, to keep the friendship strong and healthy, if it is to last through years of the good, the bad, and the ugly, which our relationship with G certainly endured. I'm sorry to say that G was much better on the communication grounds than we were, much as I like to pat myself on the back for keeping in touch with others.

He was one of the busiest people we've ever known in life: teaching, researching, counseling, mentoring, traveling, giving presentations. But somehow, he found time to reach his friends. Like us. Calling from the beach while on break from his conference. Calling us before his plane would take off to somewhere (for a conference). Calling us en route to work or a conference. He was always on the move!

Here I am, on Facebook every evening, and never checking his page all summer long, thinking he's too busy having fun with family and friends in India. Mil and fil asked about him, but all we knew was that he was going to Nairobi, Kenya, to act as chaperone for his nephew, to meet up with G's brother. And going on a safari with his nephew. It sounded like the ultimate G vacation to us! Living life to the fullest! :-)

No word from G all summer long. A little unusual, but we didn't think much of it. And now, today, we discover that the world has been without one, incredible human being since June 29. How dumbstruck do you think we feel? And regretful we didn't keep in touch more?

At the end of ten days in Kenya~on the day of his return back to his family in Goa, India, he just collapsed and died immediately. :-(

I cannot stop crying. :~(( It is unbelieveable he has left us~WAY too soon. We have known G for almost all our married life~nearly two decades, when we met in a church in the Bay Area--which we all stopped attending long ago. G was our mentor, counselor, big brother, challenger, best friend. He was an integral part of our lives.

We will miss his brilliant mind, his intense presence, his annual visits, his phone calls from everywhere. And for me, I will miss his hearty laughter most of all. It was truly contagious! Few people ever made me laugh as much as he did. ;-)

G's ceaseless, intense support for human rights and justice inspired us to be advocates for the same. He was our inspiration in many facets of life, and he loved to debate us on anything and everything, often playing devil's advocate. He was never afraid to challenge our beliefs and goals, and was always, always supportive. He was respectful of our family members and endeavored to engage them in conversation. He lived lived life to the fullest and was proud of it. :-)) An example to follow. G was the ultimate friend anybody could hope for!


In honoring G's memory, hubby and I will endeavor to become better friends to our friends and become stronger, better advocates for the causes we hold dear to our hearts. ;-)

Though we are QUITE heartbroken and in shock, we know that we have been truly blessed by one incredible human being, loved by many friends around the world, including us. We did not get a chance to say good-bye to our dear friend who enriched our lives immeasurably for the last 18+ years. He was the kind of friend whom you could not IMAGINE life without! The kind of friend whom you wanted around FOREVER. He will be sorely, sorely missed by us.

G, wherever you are, we loved you deeply. You have a place in our hearts forever.

A Time to Talk
by Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

Facebook Addiction!

addiction (plural addictions)

1. The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination.
2. A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma.
3. A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences.
   

--Wiktionary

Oh my! I hope that my participation in facebook will not damage, jeopardize, nor shorten my life! %-0

I have arrived at point where it is difficult not to log into facebook each day. When I don't, then I wonder what I've missed!

Mostly it's mushy, silly stuff. Like friends sending me virtual flowers, symbols, food, plants, and other gifts--though some of those things are meant to help save rainforests, feed a starving child in a war-torn area of the world, or help raise awareness and money for causes such as cancer research. Just click and go: you've done your good deed for the day! ;-0

Sometimes it's a friend request--someone who found me in the mass of people on that worldwide social network. Someone whom I've never met before. In fact, most of my facebook friends are people I've never met! But that's the benefit of a social network site: you can get to know people around the world who share similar interests. I enjoy meeting people from all over the world!

What I like best is the personal messages from friends. Out of a long list of friends, you're bound to get to know a few pretty well and become as close as you allow. Words can go a long way: traveling through distance and time. Why else do we still read literary classics during our school years and beyond?

Some people have a whopping amount of friends: hundreds! Or hundreds and hundreds! Olympic champion Michael Phelps has 1,745,206 fans on fb...as of today!

Or friends?

At what point does it become ridiculous? I don't need THAT many friends! %-0

Do I?

friend (plural friends)

1. A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection.
2. A boyfriend or girlfriend.
3. An associate who provides assistance.

   The Automobile Association is every motorist’s friend.

   The police is every law abiding citizen’s friend.

4. A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted

   a friend of a friend

5. A person who backs something.

   I’m not a friend of cheap wine.

6. An object or idea that can be used for good.

   Google is your friend.

7. (colloquial, ironic, used only in the vocative) Used as a form of address when warning someone. You’d better watch it, friend.
8. Sales pitch from a preacher or presidential candidate (my addition!) My friends....!
   

(also from Wiktionary)

I have many good friends, some closer than others. I don't like to categorize, but it's true: I do feel genuinely closer to some than others. That in no way means the ones I'm less close to are not good-- not at all! %-0 Some friends are better communicators than others. Or want to keep in touch more often. ;-)

Much of that I attribute to WRITING. Exchanging thoughts. Picking each others' brains. Baring and sharing souls, your innermost thoughts. Communication does not always have to be verbal! Words are powerful!

Lately, I am finding myself closer to some new friends on facebook than people I've known most of my life. I daresay some would even understand me better than "older" friends, even though we have never met. Is it a crime to say some are more perceptive than others? I don't think so! Everyone has different gifts to offer. :-)

Living in the sticks has compelled me to become addicted to facebook. My pals are scattered across the country and the world. You know who you are if you're reading this! ;-)

How did people meet people from around the globe before computers where a common household item? I bet a lot of it started through pen pal clubs. After all, that's how I met the love of my life. :-) When I was little, I heard about a pen pal club on a kid's show called, "The Big Blue Marble". I was fascinated! I wanted to meet someone from somewhere else! I got a pen pal from Australia. I don't remember her name, but I think I have her old letter and photo in my temporary pen friend file (a.k.a. "flake file"!). I save all my written correspondence! Well, I saved most of it.

That's another story, which I shared last year (2/14/07) on my blog: I want to beat Napoleon. :-)

Going back to the top: if an addiction is a "pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences", then am I in danger of being involved in facebook? Hey, it wouldn't be just me--it'd be millions of people! %-0 Doped up on a social networking site!

All I can say is that I enjoy it very much. And I've met some very cool people on there as well. Fb may very well have it's own problems, I don't know what (being connected to Uncle Bill Gates, for one?), and I am aware I am exposing facts about myself everytime I add a new application to my profile.

If fb suddenly shut down, I'm sure another social networking website will arrive in its place. But as my email is on my profile page, I'm quite certain a few friends will find me!

Be A Friend

Be a friend. You don't need money:
Just a disposition sunny;
Just the wish to help another
Get along some way or other;
Just a kindly hand extended
Out to one who's unbefriended;
Just the will to give or lend,
This will make you someone's friend.


Be a friend. You don't need glory.
Friendship is a simple story.
Pass by trifling errors blindly,
Gaze on honest effort kindly,
Cheer the youth who's bravely trying,
Pity him who's sadly sighing;
Just a little labor spend
On the duties of a friend.

Be a friend. The pay is bigger
(Though not written by a figure)
Than is earned by people clever
In what's merely self-endeavor.
You'll have friends instead of neighbors
For the profits of your labors;
You'll be richer in the end
Than a prince, if you're a friend

--Edgar A Guest (1881-1959), American poet

What Do YOU Care What Other People Think?

I like that quote (also the title of a book) by the late great physicist Richard Feynman. Why? Because it INSPIRES me when I'm not feeling very confident!:-)

I read his very interesting collection of stories from his life late last year, and was touched by his story of how he defied his family and married the woman he loved, knowing she had a terminal illness, and of their relationship while she lay dying in a hospital while he was working on the bomb in Los Alamos. He used to like to say that to her...and she threw it right back at him when he was confronted with potential uncomfortable situations, usually created by herself!

Are you wondering how the heck did I come up with my blog name? Well, I'll tell you. The "woman warrior" part was inspired by the title of the same name of a novel by Maxine Hong Kingston. The "007"? I am a Bond junkie to the marrow of my bone! I used to be--and still am, prone to fantasies of being a spy. Must be from watching too many thriller movies in the past and present. I figured that since I'm quiet natured, I could sneak in and out of places without being noticed.

Of course, I'm sure there's MUCH more to being a spy than that. Like assuming another identity, constantly watching your back, lying to get information you need...who knows what else? I'm always shedding hair...someone would find my black hair in no time! If you ever go to Washington D.C., be sure to check out the International Spy Museum. It's lots of fun!

This is my second blog. I was womanwarrior2 at modblog.com. But I recently discovered they've faded into oblivion. My old blog is now cached, and not all of it is there. Oh well. I quit writing last spring when I became overwhelmed at school. I had started it the year before, when I turned 40.

Then I decided to change course, return to school to become a massage therapist (which I love!) and studied my brains out, after almost two decades out of college!%-0 We had tests or quizzes EVERY single week for nine months, excepting the Christmas holidays. 900 hours of therapeutic massage training. Then studying for the national board exam. No time for a blog!

But now I do.:-)

Please visit my friend at washingtonsu.blogspot.com., especially if you live in Washington state and/or have an interest in jewelry making. She's a longtime friend of mine...since jr. high school and just moved from CA to WA.

She beat me to the punch! Just last week she asked for advice on starting a blog...but before I had a chance to respond, she emailed the other day to say she had her own blog! I don't want to be left behind!

Friends are VERY important to me. They keep me happy and healthy!:-) I made it very clear to my man before we got married that friends are extremely important to me. He was puzzled in the beginning, but he knows this now, after so many years of observing my friendships w/o me having to articulate anything.

So I mention my friend in WA because I try to look out for my peeps!