Oh, pardon me! I just couldn't help myself!;-)
Wow! I did it! I got IT!
it is kicking the boards on the first attempt.
IT is my black belt--with my name on it, no less!
After 3 1/2 years of hard work and a range of emotions from tears of frustration to tears of elation, I finally have my black belt!
This is redemption for the years of p.e. trauma! I am the kid who was always always always picked last for a team, except for third grade, when I had a classmate who had a disability which caused his legs to be twisted, and resulted in his walking and running with great effort. He and I became silent partners and friends very quickly through the weekly torment of team picking.
I couldn't wait until the year when I didn't have to take p.e. anymore! Tenth grade: hurry up, please!
But what happened in 11th grade? I let my best friend talk me into taking a class called "Trimmercise": a workout class for girls only. Our teacher was the school's football coach who also coached the Sacramento Police Department's football team. We were a sorry bunch, for sure! Lift weights, push-ups, crunches, run around the building, across the field, and all over again. Sweat! Pant! I'm dying! Let's stop and chat like teenage girls do!
Halfway through the semester, we were burnt out. Tired of suffering. He tried coddling, threatening...anything to make us move! Poor man! He was outnumbered! What's a man to do when he's outnumbered by a class full of teenaged girls whose collective will is apparently greater than his?
Throw in the towel, dude! He gave up on us. Just do something, ladies, he told us! Yes, Mr. ?, we replied. We understand you need to keep your job. Well, we didn't say that last part, but we knew he'd rather be coaching football anyday.
I think my average grade in p.e. all through my school years was the one thing my parents forgave me for. Or was it, took pity upon me for? The first one sounds better! I did poorly in math classes, too, but I felt more obligated to math than I did to p.e.
What the heck was p.e. going to do for me besides make me suffer the taunts of my classmates week after week, year after year? From elementary school to junior high to high school? Or suffer the dismay of my teachers. How could anyone be so weak? One junior high teacher really made me feel like a freak, when she kept me after class on a few occasions. Yes, I know she was trying to help, but try telling that to a 13 year-old entering the throes of adolescence!%-(
In later years, I had no taste for anything athletic in nature. A friend cajoled me into accompanying her to her Jazzercise class, which she loved with a passion. When she asked me how I liked it, I felt I should be direct, as any true friend would.
So I paused, wanting to choose my words carefully, and replied, "I don't think it's for me. It's not my 'style'."
She looked at me as if I had lost my marbles. As if Jazzercise was the greatest thing since sliced bread! "What?" she exclaimed. "This is great! You get a terrific workout! You don't have any exercise activity--I thought you could benefit from this!" Sure, I could benefit from it, but it's not me.
To each her own!
Lo and behold, 3000 miles across the country and many years later, I happen to be attending a community fair when a man in a martial arts uniform approaches me and asks if I would like to put my name in for a drawing for a free month-long trial to try taekwondo? Sure! I always like to win something!;-)
I didn't hear anything for a few weeks, and then I got a letter from Mr. A at the ATA Black Belt Academy saying I won the drawing. Very cool! Fed right into my fantasies of being the woman who took care of the bad guys on those badly dubbed Kung Fu films from Hong Kong, that hubby and I used to watch in the wee hours of the morning on the Asian t.v. station out in the Bay Area in California.
After only two classes, I was hooked. I was infected with the ATA virus. Forever!;-D I blame my instructors because they are all so awesome! Particularly, you, Mr. J, since you spent the most time teaching me. I bet I made you work for your keep!;-)
This was unlike anything I ever experienced. And I loved and love it because it is very individual-oriented. You are not compared to anyone else. You don't have to worry about being picked last (!) on a team, yet you learn to work with others and develop respect and concern for others. A very positive environment.:-))
I wanted to do it for health/fitness and confidence. And I think those have been restored and continue to be improved. I've had many ailments throughout my lifetime, had a miscarriage and countless mishaps...but taekwondo has helped restore my confidence on many levels. I have a functioning body! I can defend myself! Don't mess with me!%-D
So I can't say enough thank you's to my instructors and classmates who have taught and continue to teach and encourage me in so many ways, and also to certain family members and friends around the country who've been there for me from the start. You're the best! :-))
Thank you! Merci! Gracias! Tesekkur ederim! Doh jeh!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Do it Again!
I did it! I broke the boards on the first try last night! Yay!
Now I just have to do it again Friday night. I'm GOING TO do it again Friday night. Be calm, be cool. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE. Get LOUD! I must remember this. I MUST remember this!
Kill all self doubt. Think positive!:-))
Please keep sending all your positive energy this way! Thank you to all who have and continue to do so, sending me your good wishes. I deeply appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.:-)
I wanna knock everybody's socks off!
AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!%-D
Now I just have to do it again Friday night. I'm GOING TO do it again Friday night. Be calm, be cool. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE. Get LOUD! I must remember this. I MUST remember this!
Kill all self doubt. Think positive!:-))
Please keep sending all your positive energy this way! Thank you to all who have and continue to do so, sending me your good wishes. I deeply appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.:-)
I wanna knock everybody's socks off!
AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!%-D
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Breaking Boards!
How do you break a board?
You focus on your target(s). Use power! Speed! Use good techniques. And get loud so your potential target will be startled!%-0
If you're weak like me, then maybe you have to envision the board as a nemesis from your past to gain some energy: a horrible former co-worker or two! dirty, rotten ex-boyfriends! girls who tried to spread nasty rumors about a good friend of yours!
Or get mad! That's what a couple friends told me I was when I finally kicked THROUGH the board Thursday night; they could tell I was mad! Mad at myself, mainly. As in: how did I do it on the first try the previous week, but not that time? Very frustrating. I make my instructor work for his living!%-0
I just gotta give it my all on Tuesday and Friday. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE.
I must remember this, I must remember this! I need to break the boards on Tuesday so I can promote on Friday for my black belt! Think positive!
I had a terrible time breaking boards last week. All week. Seemed to get worse instead of better.:-(
BUT, this is a new week!:-))
Please send me your positive energy, everybody!
I wanna knock everybody's socks off!
AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! %-D
You focus on your target(s). Use power! Speed! Use good techniques. And get loud so your potential target will be startled!%-0
If you're weak like me, then maybe you have to envision the board as a nemesis from your past to gain some energy: a horrible former co-worker or two! dirty, rotten ex-boyfriends! girls who tried to spread nasty rumors about a good friend of yours!
Or get mad! That's what a couple friends told me I was when I finally kicked THROUGH the board Thursday night; they could tell I was mad! Mad at myself, mainly. As in: how did I do it on the first try the previous week, but not that time? Very frustrating. I make my instructor work for his living!%-0
I just gotta give it my all on Tuesday and Friday. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE.
I must remember this, I must remember this! I need to break the boards on Tuesday so I can promote on Friday for my black belt! Think positive!
I had a terrible time breaking boards last week. All week. Seemed to get worse instead of better.:-(
BUT, this is a new week!:-))
Please send me your positive energy, everybody!
I wanna knock everybody's socks off!
AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! %-D
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Missing Uncle T & Auntie L
There is a void in my heart that cannot be filled by anyone but the person who just left it. And yet, he will always be in my heart.
How contradictory does that sound?
It's been almost a week since my Utimate Uncle's funeral...and I still get wet-eyed every time I think of him. The same thing happened when my beloved aunt passed away in '89. Except now, the pain is greater because they are now both gone. :-((
I have been to more funerals than I can count with my fingers, since I was five years old. Grandparents, relatives, and friends. The deaths of Auntie L and Uncle T have been among the most emotional funerals for me--and I daresay, my siblings, because they were SO much a part of my life. They were ONE. An awesome couple. Action-oriented! Achievement-oriented! A +++++++ extraordinary cooks! They had an ample supply of love for both sides of their families and friends!
I cannot sing enough praises about them nor will I ever want to stop . It just seemed they did everything together. But they also did a lot on their own. Life without them definitely won't be the same. What's Christmas without them?
When the slide show was presented at the closing of the funeral service for Uncle T, it was almost unbearable. There were some great photos, especially of his youthful days, yet all the memories came flowing back into my mind in a flood. And my salty tears flooded down my already wet face.
This is really the first time in my youthful life (!) that I have felt a real, deep loss. Not that the losses of my grandparents, relatives and friends were not important. Not by any means. Only that my beloved uncle and aunt were such an integral part of my life from the time I was a baby. Before I even knew who they were.
It is a strange feeling to feel an aching emptiness. That two people who were so much a part of my life are no longer here. I can't reach out to touch them. Hug them. Kiss them. Call them up. Or write them a letter. It's a terrible ache. Where are you two?
When Auntie L passed, I had many dreams about her. That she came back into our lives. And that we would have to let her go back to sleep again each evening. :-( I dreamed this for many years. She still "visits" me in very vivid dreams from time to time. With Uncle T, I hear his voice in my head, now. Possibly a reminder to me to strive for excellence in both personal and professional pursuits? I believe there can be no better person to emulate. :-)
This April 18 would have been their 71st wedding anniversary. Wow. :-) Our great loss is their great gain: they are together again. Forever. And forever they will remain in my heart.
Auntie L and Uncle T: I can think of few other people who have so consistently demonstrated their love to others in all the possible ways that love can be shown, as you two did, in my time knowing you. Most importantly, I saw how you loved each other. That, in and of itself, was the greatest gift you gave to me.
********
Sonnet from the Portuguese XLIII
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and Ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1806-61
How contradictory does that sound?
It's been almost a week since my Utimate Uncle's funeral...and I still get wet-eyed every time I think of him. The same thing happened when my beloved aunt passed away in '89. Except now, the pain is greater because they are now both gone. :-((
I have been to more funerals than I can count with my fingers, since I was five years old. Grandparents, relatives, and friends. The deaths of Auntie L and Uncle T have been among the most emotional funerals for me--and I daresay, my siblings, because they were SO much a part of my life. They were ONE. An awesome couple. Action-oriented! Achievement-oriented! A +++++++ extraordinary cooks! They had an ample supply of love for both sides of their families and friends!
I cannot sing enough praises about them nor will I ever want to stop . It just seemed they did everything together. But they also did a lot on their own. Life without them definitely won't be the same. What's Christmas without them?
When the slide show was presented at the closing of the funeral service for Uncle T, it was almost unbearable. There were some great photos, especially of his youthful days, yet all the memories came flowing back into my mind in a flood. And my salty tears flooded down my already wet face.
This is really the first time in my youthful life (!) that I have felt a real, deep loss. Not that the losses of my grandparents, relatives and friends were not important. Not by any means. Only that my beloved uncle and aunt were such an integral part of my life from the time I was a baby. Before I even knew who they were.
It is a strange feeling to feel an aching emptiness. That two people who were so much a part of my life are no longer here. I can't reach out to touch them. Hug them. Kiss them. Call them up. Or write them a letter. It's a terrible ache. Where are you two?
When Auntie L passed, I had many dreams about her. That she came back into our lives. And that we would have to let her go back to sleep again each evening. :-( I dreamed this for many years. She still "visits" me in very vivid dreams from time to time. With Uncle T, I hear his voice in my head, now. Possibly a reminder to me to strive for excellence in both personal and professional pursuits? I believe there can be no better person to emulate. :-)
This April 18 would have been their 71st wedding anniversary. Wow. :-) Our great loss is their great gain: they are together again. Forever. And forever they will remain in my heart.
Auntie L and Uncle T: I can think of few other people who have so consistently demonstrated their love to others in all the possible ways that love can be shown, as you two did, in my time knowing you. Most importantly, I saw how you loved each other. That, in and of itself, was the greatest gift you gave to me.
********
Sonnet from the Portuguese XLIII
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and Ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1806-61
Friday, March 23, 2007
The Ultimate Uncle
Uncle T was like no other man I've met or known in my life. He was the Ultimate Uncle: the kind of relative every person would love to have. Why?
For a thousand reasons, and then some. He was a gentleman, for one. More precisely, he treated women with respect, whether he liked them or not. And for the most part, one would never know if he disliked someone unless he told you privately, among friends or family members. If anything, he was the type to comment on someone's behavior or character trait, rather the the person.
The fact that he treated women with respect speaks volumes about him. That part of him, of course, means a lot to me. It means he was a great role model. Someone I could trust, as well as respect--and not just because of age, as I was taught. Uncle T was a model whom I could measure the character of my future spouse upon.
He loved my Auntie L dearly. Auntie L, one of my father's older sisters, was my favorite aunt...which therefore forever makes him my favorite uncle! They were generous with their love to my siblings and myself, and, I'm certain, to many of their relatives and friends. They had no children of their own.
They took me to many places, introduced me to their friends, spoiled me with birthday parties with my friends when I was young, encouraged me to do well in all I endeavored, were always, always interested in my activities, and had high hopes for me. They loved me!:-) Probably more than I have ever been aware of. But I was secure in their love.
Even after Auntie L passed away from cancer in '89, Uncle T didn't cease to show his love for me/us, just because we were on her side of the family. The two of them had spent every single Christmas with us as far as I can remember. Christmas was not Christmas without their presence on Christmas Eve! After she was gone, he still continued to spend many holidays with us.
He even continued to write letters to me! The last one I have is from last month. I have letters dating from 1973 from both of them. That's 34 years' worth of correspondence! It belongs in my "special collections" library of letters! ;-D The two of them took turns writing to me, although for the most part, it was Auntie L until she became very ill.
Uncle T did SO much in his lifetime! He was the eldest of 10 children. A founding father of Pi Alpha Phi, the first Asian American Interest Fraternity (founded in 1926). A WWII vet, a Master Mason and Shriner, active golfer for decades with many trophies, world traveler, volunteer for the Shriner's Burn Center for Children in Sacramento, gourmet chef extraordinaire for his family, advisor to family and friends. Hmm...I know I'm missing a lot! That was probably the tip of the iceberg.
Just a few years ago, in response to receiving my plane itinerary and tenative plans for my visit with my family, I remember him writing me, "Your schedule matches my calendar!" Ladies and gents: this man's calendar was just about filled with black ink, for every day of the week, whether he attended to his activities or not!
He was THE diplomat! He never, to my memory, belittled anyone. If he didn't like something you did--such as me rejecting tomatoes he served when I was very young, he would say something like, "Are you sure? You might like them if you try". Never anything like, you stupid kid: EAT!
And he was a tease. Once, I grabbed the bill at a restaurant because I was curious to read it (must have been during early elementary school years!); Uncle T had a mischevious grin on his face, and exclaimed, "Oh! Thank YOU for offering to pay for me and Auntie L!" Oops!
I cannot ever remember him cursing or losing his temper. He might have a grave look about him if he was disappointed about something or someone, but he still was thoughtful--skillfully assessing the situation and choosing his words carefully. I don't know that I ever heard a sarcastic tone come from him. He was able to state his opinions without being aggressive. Sometimes he'd chuckle, "heh heh heh", after commenting on something, usually not too positive. I suppose that was his buffer of diplomacy.;-)
Uncle T was a member of the Toastmaster's Club for some time. I don't recall how long, but he wanted to be a better speaker. I remember him telling me that he would get points off every time he said, "Um"! If I picked up any tricks of the trade he shared with me from his time with them, it was to leave out ummmm!
He left us early Wednesday morning, the day after his 97th birthday. I imagine a lot of people were hoping he'd hang on to at least 100. I know I did. But he wanted to go. Really go. I take some comfort that he is now with Auntie L. Yet that doesn't take away the pain of the loss that I and his family feel.
He left such an impact on my life. Many lives. He lived long and well. An inspiration to me to live my life as fully as possible, for as long as possible.
Uncle T...I miss you so much. :-( I cried on the bus 2x yesterday. There's gap you've left because you were present in my life from the very beginning, sharing your love generously and unconditionally. EVERYONE needs an uncle like you! You're the ultimate!
********
By Emily Dickinson
For a thousand reasons, and then some. He was a gentleman, for one. More precisely, he treated women with respect, whether he liked them or not. And for the most part, one would never know if he disliked someone unless he told you privately, among friends or family members. If anything, he was the type to comment on someone's behavior or character trait, rather the the person.
The fact that he treated women with respect speaks volumes about him. That part of him, of course, means a lot to me. It means he was a great role model. Someone I could trust, as well as respect--and not just because of age, as I was taught. Uncle T was a model whom I could measure the character of my future spouse upon.
He loved my Auntie L dearly. Auntie L, one of my father's older sisters, was my favorite aunt...which therefore forever makes him my favorite uncle! They were generous with their love to my siblings and myself, and, I'm certain, to many of their relatives and friends. They had no children of their own.
They took me to many places, introduced me to their friends, spoiled me with birthday parties with my friends when I was young, encouraged me to do well in all I endeavored, were always, always interested in my activities, and had high hopes for me. They loved me!:-) Probably more than I have ever been aware of. But I was secure in their love.
Even after Auntie L passed away from cancer in '89, Uncle T didn't cease to show his love for me/us, just because we were on her side of the family. The two of them had spent every single Christmas with us as far as I can remember. Christmas was not Christmas without their presence on Christmas Eve! After she was gone, he still continued to spend many holidays with us.
He even continued to write letters to me! The last one I have is from last month. I have letters dating from 1973 from both of them. That's 34 years' worth of correspondence! It belongs in my "special collections" library of letters! ;-D The two of them took turns writing to me, although for the most part, it was Auntie L until she became very ill.
Uncle T did SO much in his lifetime! He was the eldest of 10 children. A founding father of Pi Alpha Phi, the first Asian American Interest Fraternity (founded in 1926). A WWII vet, a Master Mason and Shriner, active golfer for decades with many trophies, world traveler, volunteer for the Shriner's Burn Center for Children in Sacramento, gourmet chef extraordinaire for his family, advisor to family and friends. Hmm...I know I'm missing a lot! That was probably the tip of the iceberg.
Just a few years ago, in response to receiving my plane itinerary and tenative plans for my visit with my family, I remember him writing me, "Your schedule matches my calendar!" Ladies and gents: this man's calendar was just about filled with black ink, for every day of the week, whether he attended to his activities or not!
He was THE diplomat! He never, to my memory, belittled anyone. If he didn't like something you did--such as me rejecting tomatoes he served when I was very young, he would say something like, "Are you sure? You might like them if you try". Never anything like, you stupid kid: EAT!
And he was a tease. Once, I grabbed the bill at a restaurant because I was curious to read it (must have been during early elementary school years!); Uncle T had a mischevious grin on his face, and exclaimed, "Oh! Thank YOU for offering to pay for me and Auntie L!" Oops!
I cannot ever remember him cursing or losing his temper. He might have a grave look about him if he was disappointed about something or someone, but he still was thoughtful--skillfully assessing the situation and choosing his words carefully. I don't know that I ever heard a sarcastic tone come from him. He was able to state his opinions without being aggressive. Sometimes he'd chuckle, "heh heh heh", after commenting on something, usually not too positive. I suppose that was his buffer of diplomacy.;-)
Uncle T was a member of the Toastmaster's Club for some time. I don't recall how long, but he wanted to be a better speaker. I remember him telling me that he would get points off every time he said, "Um"! If I picked up any tricks of the trade he shared with me from his time with them, it was to leave out ummmm!
He left us early Wednesday morning, the day after his 97th birthday. I imagine a lot of people were hoping he'd hang on to at least 100. I know I did. But he wanted to go. Really go. I take some comfort that he is now with Auntie L. Yet that doesn't take away the pain of the loss that I and his family feel.
He left such an impact on my life. Many lives. He lived long and well. An inspiration to me to live my life as fully as possible, for as long as possible.
Uncle T...I miss you so much. :-( I cried on the bus 2x yesterday. There's gap you've left because you were present in my life from the very beginning, sharing your love generously and unconditionally. EVERYONE needs an uncle like you! You're the ultimate!
********
A Light Exists In Spring
A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here
A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That science cannot overtake,
But human nature feels.
It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.
Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:
A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I Left My Foot in the Snow...and other things I've Left Behind Elsewhere
I did what?!
There is something called Stabilicers, rubber attachments with metal posts for the ice, which you attach to your shoes, to prevent you from slipping and tripping. We had another ice storm on Thursday, but I didn't try them on until Friday and yesterday.
It's very cool to crunch the ice with confidence, knowing I don't have to cling to a stranger's car for dear life!:-) Walk anywhere! Stomp everywhere! Sock it to me, ice and snow!
I did not realize until early this morning, when hubby and I set out to Rite Aid to get our "freebates", that only one of my Stabilicers was on my shoe. What happened to the other? I know I put them on my shoes while on the bus, on the way home from the library yesterday. How could I NOT know it came off? I was thinking it had to come off while walking in the icy snow because they make a lot of noise walking on non-icy surfaces, like pavement. I would have to retrace my steps from the bus stop...
Outside, hubby and I looked and looked.
Lo and behold! In a small field separating the apt complex and the street, the lone empty "shoe" was lying on the icy snow close to the sidewalk, as if I had just slipped my hiking boot out of it, like a slipper. It looked so lonely there by itself! Who would've wanted to pick it up when it was only one side? I was NOT looking forward to walking lopsided, that's for sure! And you might imagine how put out I was this morning when I only discovered one attachment was on my shoe as I had just bought them last month and only worn them one day!
That wasn't the only thing I thought I lost yesterday. I wore a pair of dangly earrings to work, ones I bought myself for my b-day last year. One side keeps falling out. I thought maybe I left them at work--but thanks to hubby's good eyes, he spotted the missing half on the floor near my slippers.
I often lose a half of a pair of earrings. It makes me scared to think I may only have half a brain! But not really. I had gotten a third hole in my ear when I met my husband--as a "souvenir" of our first days together...on top of the fact that I kept losing half of many pairs of earrings and thus ended up with a lot of oddball earrings. Where would I put them? In a third hole! I got a fourth one two birthdays ago to mark my 40th year on earth, so now I'm even.:-)
What else have I forgotten? I've left behind my sweaty shirt in the ladies' locker room at my taekwondo school more than a few times (pew!), a favorite glittery pen at school, an extra grocery bag at the grocery store (the contents of which the employees returned to the shelves!%-0), and lord knows what else. Of course, I usually don't remember I've left something behind until I'm halfway home or all the way home from the place where I had left something.
It probably means that I was in too much of a hurry to get someplace else. My mind was elsewhere! How else would I be oblivious to the fact that my shoe attachment fell off while I was marching onward towards my apt? Or that I couldn't wait to get home and thus quickly swept everything off the desk (actually, massage table) that I thought was mine? Or that I was in a hurry to catch the bus and left my sweaty shirt hanging in the locker room?
Maybe I should take better heed of all the buddhist writings I've been reading lately. Zen master and poet Thich Nhat Hanh writes,
"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others."
(from Peace is in Every Step)
I think that the more I realize this, the more challenging it is to attain a calm sense of mind and keep distractions at bay. Why do I believe this? Because I understand that I can choose to be mindful of my thoughts or not.
Better yet, when I feel I'm in a hurry, I ought to think of my fil (father in-law) at the dinner table, when he usually says, "I ain't going anywhere--are you? Are we in a hurry?" To which everyone else will say no, and he'll reply, "I didn't think so. Let's eat!"
:-)
There is something called Stabilicers, rubber attachments with metal posts for the ice, which you attach to your shoes, to prevent you from slipping and tripping. We had another ice storm on Thursday, but I didn't try them on until Friday and yesterday.
It's very cool to crunch the ice with confidence, knowing I don't have to cling to a stranger's car for dear life!:-) Walk anywhere! Stomp everywhere! Sock it to me, ice and snow!
I did not realize until early this morning, when hubby and I set out to Rite Aid to get our "freebates", that only one of my Stabilicers was on my shoe. What happened to the other? I know I put them on my shoes while on the bus, on the way home from the library yesterday. How could I NOT know it came off? I was thinking it had to come off while walking in the icy snow because they make a lot of noise walking on non-icy surfaces, like pavement. I would have to retrace my steps from the bus stop...
Outside, hubby and I looked and looked.
Lo and behold! In a small field separating the apt complex and the street, the lone empty "shoe" was lying on the icy snow close to the sidewalk, as if I had just slipped my hiking boot out of it, like a slipper. It looked so lonely there by itself! Who would've wanted to pick it up when it was only one side? I was NOT looking forward to walking lopsided, that's for sure! And you might imagine how put out I was this morning when I only discovered one attachment was on my shoe as I had just bought them last month and only worn them one day!
That wasn't the only thing I thought I lost yesterday. I wore a pair of dangly earrings to work, ones I bought myself for my b-day last year. One side keeps falling out. I thought maybe I left them at work--but thanks to hubby's good eyes, he spotted the missing half on the floor near my slippers.
I often lose a half of a pair of earrings. It makes me scared to think I may only have half a brain! But not really. I had gotten a third hole in my ear when I met my husband--as a "souvenir" of our first days together...on top of the fact that I kept losing half of many pairs of earrings and thus ended up with a lot of oddball earrings. Where would I put them? In a third hole! I got a fourth one two birthdays ago to mark my 40th year on earth, so now I'm even.:-)
What else have I forgotten? I've left behind my sweaty shirt in the ladies' locker room at my taekwondo school more than a few times (pew!), a favorite glittery pen at school, an extra grocery bag at the grocery store (the contents of which the employees returned to the shelves!%-0), and lord knows what else. Of course, I usually don't remember I've left something behind until I'm halfway home or all the way home from the place where I had left something.
It probably means that I was in too much of a hurry to get someplace else. My mind was elsewhere! How else would I be oblivious to the fact that my shoe attachment fell off while I was marching onward towards my apt? Or that I couldn't wait to get home and thus quickly swept everything off the desk (actually, massage table) that I thought was mine? Or that I was in a hurry to catch the bus and left my sweaty shirt hanging in the locker room?
Maybe I should take better heed of all the buddhist writings I've been reading lately. Zen master and poet Thich Nhat Hanh writes,
"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others."
(from Peace is in Every Step)
I think that the more I realize this, the more challenging it is to attain a calm sense of mind and keep distractions at bay. Why do I believe this? Because I understand that I can choose to be mindful of my thoughts or not.
Better yet, when I feel I'm in a hurry, I ought to think of my fil (father in-law) at the dinner table, when he usually says, "I ain't going anywhere--are you? Are we in a hurry?" To which everyone else will say no, and he'll reply, "I didn't think so. Let's eat!"
:-)
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Women Hold Up Half the Sky
That's a Chinese proverb: Women Hold Up Half the Sky. We DO hold up half the sky, I believe: we help bring new life into the world, we are nuturers, we take care of the nitty gritty and finer details of life, and put up with way too much. And we tend to live longer!;-)
Today, March 8th, is International Women's Day.
This year's them is: Ending Impunity for Violence against Women and Girls.
Why have crimes against half of humanity been swept under the rug as if women don't matter, for so long? Even here, in the USA, the most free country in the world, women still have a difficult time seeking relief and justice from violent partners. It takes a very brave woman to stand up to abuse. I'm not a man-hater, I just hate what some of them do to the mothers, daughters and sisters of the world.:-( It's a crime that they get away with their offenses.
In some countries, IWD is an official holiday, akin to our Mother's Day. I think that's pretty neat. Worldwide, International Women's Day is celebrated annually on March 8 to inspire and recognize the achievements and progress of women.
Why women, and not men? Why not let them take care of themselves?! Women have been getting the short end of things since we've been on earth--and still are. And why am I so passionate about the status of women in the world? I think it started long ago...
For starters, my mom stayed at home to raise her children, and by the time I came around, I was like an only child as there are some years between me and my siblings. So I got a lot of attention from my mom. And I 've always felt that my older sister looked after me in many ways, always having high expectations for her kid sister. Not that my brother or father didn't, but we're talking about women here. Also, I had lots of aunties. Lots! Lots of aunties who were and are opinionated and stubborn!
I was involved in girls' groups like Brownies, and Job's Daughter's (an affiliation of the Masons). But the experience that cemented my views on women's issues was when I attended and graduated from Mills College, a private women's liberal arts college in Oakland, Calfornia, founded in 1852, that also offers co-ed graduate degrees. I was surrounded by intelligent women from all over the country: how could we not discuss issues that mattered to us, when we weren't writing papers?!
The student body at my alma mater went on strike in 1990, in response to the decision--or tenative decision, by the board of trustees to make Mills go co-ed. They made national news for the duration of their strike! I thought it was pretty exciting! I envied the students striking...I wanted to join them, but I was working while they were on strike. Could I have gotten away with it--w/o my parents finding out? I'm sure they would have called me up to remind me of more pressing matters, such as studying. You go, sisters! Anyhow, with all that pressure, the trustees changed their tune and reaffirmed that Mills would remain an all-women undergraduate institution.:-) I still have my t-shirt: Mills College: Better Dead Than Co-ed...I'm quite proud of it!
Granted, all-female colleges are not for every woman. But it was perfect for me. I was at home, there. Being exposed to so many women from different places in the USA and the world opened my eyes to how other women's lives were, their interests and concerns. Men were just a second thought! That isn't to say that a lot of cute young men suddenly and conveniently appeared on the weekends...but our studies were our number one priority.
After I graduated, I was even more inclined to read about women of influence, women in power--even evil, corrupt ones! I still like to read about them. Women leaders. I think we need more of them! I wouldn't just vote for any woman for the sake of having a woman lead the country, state, or a city, of course--I'd want to know what her platform was, first. Throughout history, there have been many women heroines and rulers, but I never knew of them until the end of high school, and then, mostly after college, when I read on my own. I am quite inspired when I read about women who led their country's people in battle, or ruled otherwise--hundreds or thousands of years ago!:-)
A woman doesn't have to rule a country for me to be inspired to want to do better. The ones we don't hear about or rarely get notice are the community leaders and ones who rise up from unimaginable circumstances and help the people in their village to change their views on certain issues, so that women--and perhaps men as well, are not made to be outcasts for not meeting societal standards.
There's still a long way to go. In some way, I hope to contribute to the progress of womens' status in the world. I don't know how or when, but it's my goal before I leave this earth.
So cheers to all the women of the world! Most especially to my mother, sister, mother in-law, sisters in-law, and all my friends who've been there for me thick and thin.:-))
Today, March 8th, is International Women's Day.
This year's them is: Ending Impunity for Violence against Women and Girls.
Why have crimes against half of humanity been swept under the rug as if women don't matter, for so long? Even here, in the USA, the most free country in the world, women still have a difficult time seeking relief and justice from violent partners. It takes a very brave woman to stand up to abuse. I'm not a man-hater, I just hate what some of them do to the mothers, daughters and sisters of the world.:-( It's a crime that they get away with their offenses.
In some countries, IWD is an official holiday, akin to our Mother's Day. I think that's pretty neat. Worldwide, International Women's Day is celebrated annually on March 8 to inspire and recognize the achievements and progress of women.
Why women, and not men? Why not let them take care of themselves?! Women have been getting the short end of things since we've been on earth--and still are. And why am I so passionate about the status of women in the world? I think it started long ago...
For starters, my mom stayed at home to raise her children, and by the time I came around, I was like an only child as there are some years between me and my siblings. So I got a lot of attention from my mom. And I 've always felt that my older sister looked after me in many ways, always having high expectations for her kid sister. Not that my brother or father didn't, but we're talking about women here. Also, I had lots of aunties. Lots! Lots of aunties who were and are opinionated and stubborn!
I was involved in girls' groups like Brownies, and Job's Daughter's (an affiliation of the Masons). But the experience that cemented my views on women's issues was when I attended and graduated from Mills College, a private women's liberal arts college in Oakland, Calfornia, founded in 1852, that also offers co-ed graduate degrees. I was surrounded by intelligent women from all over the country: how could we not discuss issues that mattered to us, when we weren't writing papers?!
The student body at my alma mater went on strike in 1990, in response to the decision--or tenative decision, by the board of trustees to make Mills go co-ed. They made national news for the duration of their strike! I thought it was pretty exciting! I envied the students striking...I wanted to join them, but I was working while they were on strike. Could I have gotten away with it--w/o my parents finding out? I'm sure they would have called me up to remind me of more pressing matters, such as studying. You go, sisters! Anyhow, with all that pressure, the trustees changed their tune and reaffirmed that Mills would remain an all-women undergraduate institution.:-) I still have my t-shirt: Mills College: Better Dead Than Co-ed...I'm quite proud of it!
Granted, all-female colleges are not for every woman. But it was perfect for me. I was at home, there. Being exposed to so many women from different places in the USA and the world opened my eyes to how other women's lives were, their interests and concerns. Men were just a second thought! That isn't to say that a lot of cute young men suddenly and conveniently appeared on the weekends...but our studies were our number one priority.
After I graduated, I was even more inclined to read about women of influence, women in power--even evil, corrupt ones! I still like to read about them. Women leaders. I think we need more of them! I wouldn't just vote for any woman for the sake of having a woman lead the country, state, or a city, of course--I'd want to know what her platform was, first. Throughout history, there have been many women heroines and rulers, but I never knew of them until the end of high school, and then, mostly after college, when I read on my own. I am quite inspired when I read about women who led their country's people in battle, or ruled otherwise--hundreds or thousands of years ago!:-)
A woman doesn't have to rule a country for me to be inspired to want to do better. The ones we don't hear about or rarely get notice are the community leaders and ones who rise up from unimaginable circumstances and help the people in their village to change their views on certain issues, so that women--and perhaps men as well, are not made to be outcasts for not meeting societal standards.
There's still a long way to go. In some way, I hope to contribute to the progress of womens' status in the world. I don't know how or when, but it's my goal before I leave this earth.
So cheers to all the women of the world! Most especially to my mother, sister, mother in-law, sisters in-law, and all my friends who've been there for me thick and thin.:-))
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