Wednesday, December 22, 2010

New Blog Home

Due to some technical difficulties, I have moved my blog to a new home. Please visit me! :

http://goof.sdf.org/womanwarrior007/

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Why Does the World Dislike Women So Much?

Misogyny: the hatred of women.

The word sounds as twisted as its definition.

Mi-soj-uh-nee.

It took me a long time to learn how to pronounce that word.

And it has taken me even longer to realize how pervasive misogyny is throughout the world. From ancient times to today.

The Greek philospher, Aristotle, wrote that a female is an incomplete male, or "as it were, a deformity."

Through my research, writing, and editing for Safe World for Women, a global women’s rights and advocacy organization which campaigns for the rights of women and girls, I find endless evidence of abuses and injustices against women and girls.

Why?

Why is there such a strong tradition of preferring sons over daughters in many parts of the world? Many researchers in the field of gender discrimination would tell you it's economic: that sons usually are the breadwinners and thus, care-takers of their parents in old-age. That daughters are considered an economic burden by their families.

Or that sons are needed to carry on the family name and are the rightful offspring who deserve to inherit property and finances.

That may be true, in practical terms. But is there a deeper reason for such gender discrimination? It's easy to say economics is the reason.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty: people still do not like or trust women. They may even hate women.

Enough to kill them if the women's families can't fulfill their greedy desires for more dowry, sometimes within days of their wedding. Enough to drive them to commit suicide because the women would rather die than live with daily abuse...because they did not produce a son. Or enough because a daughter was raped, and has thus brought dishonor to the family, so a male member of the family must get rid of her.

Or simply, that they are women.

It doesn't matter what socio-economic background women come from--all are vulnerable. In fact, if women come from affluent backgrounds in some heavily male-preference societies like India, China, and South Korea, the access to technology to determine sex of the fetus can cause more abuse for women.

Pressure to abort female fetuses, denial of medical care or help if the mother chooses to maintain her pregnancy, verbal and physical abuse. No regard for the woman, not least of all her reproductive health.

Verbal and physical abuse.

Hatred manifested.

Toward women.

Why women?


Misogyny?

Or just because we are easy targets: usually physically smaller, and often with fewer resources?

Nearly everyday I read stories about horrible abuse of women: 20-40,000 girls trafficked from Nigeria to Mali; women with their children fleeing for their lives from Somalia--often losing their children, their dignity, or their heads, for "disobeying" the warlord of the day; women and girls from Mexico forced into prostitution--in the United States; thousands of women raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo for more than a decade to the present day.

And no one is stopping this unmitigated hate.

We have international laws, national laws, and state laws which have been put on the books with good intentions. Countless NGO's that work tirelessly to bring relief and hope to those dispossessed and robbed of their dignity.

And yet women are still maltreated in every corner of the world: China, India, Somalia, Mexico. The United States.

What? The USA?

Yes. How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when there is sex trafficking of American teens nationwide, when three women a day die from domestic abuse, when a woman is raped every 90 seconds, when female political candidates of every stripe are crucified and mocked for the most trivial details?

How can anyone deny there is misogyny  in the USA when women's reproductive health rights are constantly attacked by those who wish to control them through public policy--or within the medical community, via excess C-sections and unnecessary castrations (hysterectomies) for non life-threatening conditions.

You can give all the excuses in the world for the widespread maltreatment of half of humanity: economic necessity, medical expertise, cultural traditions, war-induced post-traumatic stress syndrome, drug and alcohol abuse...there's probably a bit of truth in all of them.

But dig a little deeper.

Why does the world dislike women so much?


Misogyny is the hatred of women. Hatred is rooted in ignorance.
That is not someplace I ever want to be rooted in.

My heart literally aches when I hear of ANY kind of abuse toward ANY woman or group of women, anywhere in the world.

Ignorance is not bliss when one in three women worldwide experience violence at some point in their lives. When unmitigated hatred runs rampant and steals the dignity and lives of millions of women.

Why should you care?

Because I am speaking of half of humanity. Hatred is a scary and dark emotion that spreads like wildfire, left unchecked.

In the west, we can more easily speak up and call out offenders when they degrade women, or bring them to justice if they have harmed or killed women.

In other parts of the world, where women have many fewer rights due to cultural traditions, despite laws being on the books, I feel that those of us who live in much more fortunate circumstances and who are able and willing to do so, must advocate and raise awareness on their behalf.

And keep on working until justice has been won.

Which may not happen in our lifetimes.

But it is worth fighting for.

I don't want hate and darkness in the world. I want love and lightness.

Call that corny if you will, but I am going to stand up for women's rights and well-being to my last breath.

I am not interested in cutting women down to anything less than the human beings we are.

I am interested in making misogyny a thing of the past.


If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.  ~Mother Teresa

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Why Are You Doing This?

Human being:

Noun

  • S: (n) homo, man, human being, human (any living or extinct member of the family Hominidae characterized by superior intelligence, articulate speech, and erect carriage)
~http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=humanbeing


Sometimes when I am on a roll making my name public on petitions for causes that mean something to me, a small voice in the back of my mind asks myself (!): why are you doing this?

That's what slipped in my mind today.

What was I doing today? I was on a roll giving my support to women's causes. Specifically, petitions to my House and Senate reps to support CEDAW - the United Nations' Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. Though President Jimmy Carter signed on to the treaty in 1980, it has yet to be ratified by the US Congress.


There was an article on this a few days ago: Women's Rights Treaty Going Nowhere Fast in Senate. According to the article, and related sources:

"Among U.N. member states 186 countries have ratified CEDAW. The United States remains one of only seven that have not. The other six are Iran, Sudan, Somalia, Nauru, Palau and Tonga.

CEDAW is the only international human rights treaty that specifically affirms women's reproductive rights.

It also requires countries to uphold women's rights in political representation, divorce, domestic violence and other areas that can stoke the ire of social conservatives."

Women's rights advocates (I like to think of myself as one!) would like to see this passed. Right-wing politicians and conservative groups would like to see it fade into oblivion, for various reasons. One being the uncomfortable notion of having to answer to another governing body.

So, there may be some flaws to this, practically, and/or theoretically. And in fact, some countries have ratified CEDAW with reservations and objections.

For me, personally, I hope to see it ratified. What boils my blood is when I keep hearing about certain individuals in Congress who continually vote against anything recognizing the value of women.

What are we?

Half of humanity.

Who do these people think they are to scoff at women's reproductive health rights? To vote against laws that would help ensure measures to protect our individual freedom, dignity, and control over our own health by holding governments accountable? To vote against policies that would provide services to fight against and prevent violence against women, such as shelters for battered women?

Do these seemingly anti-women rights legislators, socially conservative groups like Concerned Women for America, and some talk-show hosts really have such a low, narrow view of women? Half of humanity?

What are they thinking? Do they want to keep us in our place, keep popping out puppies? Keep being a carrier/baby vessel, mother to the man's offspring, and sex slave as our only purpose on earth? I'm not just saying those things off the top of my head; it's what I've heard some relatives, friends quoting their relatives, and people in the conservative political realm, over the years. :-(

They want to keep me in my place?

I think NOT! ;-(

For those who have a limited view of women, they can keep those beliefs. Say what you want. Just don't try to shove it down my throat and attempt to make me feel inferior because I don't agree!

What is my answer to my own question, "Why are you doing this?"

Because I believe women are human beings.

Someone of a differing view from mine might say, "Well, of course they are!"

To which I would reply, "How can you say that when you add all the 'buts': but they should keep their place! but abortion has nothing to do with women's health care! but girls and women shouldn't dress provocatively; if they do, they were asking for 'it', etc.?"

I believe women are human beings who deserve to be treated with respect as any man would be, and deserve every opportunity to reach their full potential as any man would be expected to. Women deserve to live free of violence. They ought not to be subjected to superficial societal, traditional, or cultural rules of conduct unless THEY CHOOSE TO.

That's what I believe in my heart.

I will continue to put much of my energies into advocating for women's rights. For their well-being. And if someone suggests to write to a person in authority in order to bring awareness to a situation, then I will. As I did today, writing to Senator John Kerry, Chair of Senate Foreign Relations Committee, re: CEDAW.

Another petition I added my name to: Amnesty International's request to members of Congress to support the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA).

I add my voice to humanitarian, environmental, and other issues that inflame my sensibilities, too, but my heart is mostly devoted to women. :-)

If ever I get a response, which I often do from my representatives, hubby will tease: "You mean you got a letter from a staff member of a staff member?" ;-) Yes, I know they're quite automated, but at least someone in their office is paying a little bit of attention to my badgering! My online activism isn't for nothing.

I will forever save Vice President Joe Biden's letter to me, written when he was still Senator of Delaware, after writing to him four months in a row. Yes, it looked automated, but what the heck? It came from his Washington D.C. office!

I will stick up for women's rights until my last breath, and for any private person, public figure, or group, who has the guts to stand up for the rights of women worldwide. Which of course, includes the USA.

When we have three women dying each day from the hands of their husbands, boyfriend, or former partners in the United States, there is something terribly wrong about our society's attitude toward women. When we still have one in every three women, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes, there is still a lot of work to do to.

In some small way, I want to contribute my time, effort, and skills towards eliminating the violence and discrimination that hinders the well-being of my sisters worldwide. Yes, even those with whom I disagree! (those last words were not easy to write!) With every fiber of my being, to the best of my ability. To my last breath!

I feel very blessed and fortunate to have found the opportunity to use my long-buried journalism skills (!) and apply them in advancing my passion of women's and human rights through SafeWorld. That I have made such wonderfully awesome friends from working with SW speaks to the power of written communication, the marvel of modern technology, and desire and will to create a more just and safer world for women. A safe world for women is a safe world for everyone!


One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
~Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986), French writer, existentialist philospher; The Second Sex, 1949

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Party Host to Bloodsuckers

Maybe I've watched too many horror flicks, but sometimes I feel like my body is a party host for mosquitoes. Bloodsuckers.

I've always gotten bit a lot every summer, but this year...phew! %-0 It seems like they are merciless, both in terms of biting and itching. I don't tolerate itch at all. I think I have a fairly high pain threshold, but definitely, I do not possess any itch threshold whatsoever.

Two weekends in this month of June already have been sleepless for me. Or rather, interrupted. Because of intense itching. Yes, I know you're not supposed to scratch bites! But even though I've put stuff on them before I go to bed, it's useless. I often wake up in the middle of the night.

I've spent too much time researching how to treat and avoid mosquitoes...but they still find ME! I've experimented with alchol (my mom's favorite remedy for almost everything that ails you), wintergreen alcohol (smells better!), witch hazel, Listerine, and vinegar--both regular and apple cider (also smells better!). Vinegar was actually helpful, for my bites.

None but Tiger Balm let me sleep without me waking up in the middle of the night (sometimes several times) scratching my bite, because the itch was ferociously intense. It drove me mad and made me mad, that itching! %-( Last week I went five days straight suffering interrupted sleep...and MY sleep is VERY important to ME!! I LOVE MY SLEEP! If I don't get my sleep, I'm prone to changing personality! ;-0

One night last week, I found my Tiger Balm, which I hadn't used for a couple years since I last injured my ankle while running to catch a bus and tripping over myself in a groove in the ground. I thought about Vicks VapoRub, too. Same idea as Tiger Balm: menthol and camphor taking the itch away. But since it was 3 a.m., and I was frustrated and in zombie-mode...I found my Tiger Balm first. :-)

I put it on my 13+ bites on my limbs, and felt an instant cooling effect! Whew! SLEEP!

There must be something about the back of my right thigh. My ham. Must be real tasty to the mosquitoes: I've had the most bites there--having six at one time at one point. And the ones there are THE itchiest by far. What gives? The itch lasts for several days. SO itchy it stings all day. When I get a bite there, the irritation spreads far...so far that there's a huge pink circle that spreads the width of my ham.

On Father's Day evening, I walked around at dusk (prime time for bloodsuckers!) and got a dozen bites in about 10 minutes. Had to go into the swimming pool to cool the bites off...my poor leggies (almost all on the right leg) literally felt like they were on fire! %-0

So I guess I must be very sensitive to mosquitoes. And as we are now living in the sticks and next to a river with lots of woods, there are TONS of different creatures out here, some of which my rural in-laws have not encountered, or with such magnitude, in their lifetimes! I'm sure it's not just mosquitoes biting me, as not all my bites look alike. Flies bite, too. As do gnats...and don't even mention ticks! %-0

People try to humor me and say I have sweet blood! Hubby says the insects are tired of him...they want tasty stuff: Chinese food (me)!

I've been trying to consume more garlic. Bloosuckers hate garlic. I LOVE garlic! Are these things vampires in disguise? With all my bites, I sometimes think I will turn into one! That WOULD be rather morbid, wouldn't it? But maybe, a little fun, if only to bare my bloody fangs! Hahaha! Especially to people who incite fear, hatred, and violence. ;-)

If I had $ for every bite I've gotten in my life, I think I'd be rolling in green by now! %-0 And since I will likely get countless more, I would really be in the green when I'm an old lady...! And I ought to get a bonus for the one yellowjacket sting I got on my neck a few years ago: THAT really hurt! (so much for high pain threshold!). I hope never to get stung by one of those things ever again.

Pardon me for sounding vain here, but my right ham looks like a scarred battleground now. As if it were diseased. The bite marks will fade away...but not quick enough. I think the bloodsuckers see the bite marks and think:


"Hey, hey, HEY! Look at all those bites on that lady's ham! Must be some good eatin' there! Drinks are on the host! Par-tee time! Let's go!" %-)



Or am I giving them too much credit? What else am I to think when only one leg gets the majority of bites? They concentrate their most lethal poison saliva there. Will my body ever build up resistance to them?

I've never been the party girl type. I hope I'm not being punished by the God of Social Butterflies in possessing a body that is host to insects that feel free to party and feast on my blood! %-0

Meanwhile, let me publicly thank the late Aw Boon Haw for perfecting his father's concoction along with his brother, for the product known worldwide today as Tiger Balm. Doh jeh!


* * *

p.s. (unrelated)
Dearest G:

We cannot believe it's been a year ago today that you've been gone from our lives. From so many lives you touched. We miss you sorely. You were the ultimate friend! We love you. xox

p.s.s. Tiger Balm, Aw Boon Haw, and G are hyperlinked...but I haven't figured out how to make it show yet on the new template formatting...! %-) I italicized them, though!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Babycakes

My Babycakes.

oof...how mushy! %-0

Many people like to brag about their children for various reasons. Ace in school. Top dog on the soccer team. First chair violinist in the school orchestra. Little Einstein. Future president. Future American Idol contestant. You name it.

I like to yak about my child, too. My four-legged child. :-)

He's not really mine: he belongs to my father in-law. But hubby and I care for him mostly, especially during the weekdays. So it is almost like having a kid, I imagine.

You have to feed him, make sure he has plenty of water to drink, make sure he has plenty of playtime, take care of him if he gets sick, and make sure he has plenty of tender loving care.

He's great: he doesn't talk back! No lip from S. Only looks. Poor, pitiful me looks. Or, I'm so happy I could lick you all over looks! Or, you have betrayed me looks.

I talked about S in my last post. And I don't usually repeat a subject twice in row. But this guy: I can't help it! :-)

He is incredibly gentle, sensitive, and sweet, even though he is often stinky, from swimming in the river or rolling in the garden fresh from being fertilized with chicken shit, or very rarely, rolled in dead meat...literally. Eww! Some sort of evolutionary mechanism I'd rather not know about...!

S is the most loving, four-legged creature I know. Which is to say, the only four-legged creature I know personally, if can indeed put it that way. He's a lover dog, not a fighter dog, which suits me perfectly. I love love, and love to be loved! ;-D

S is a people dog. He loves company. And he really loves kids--though most times they don't always love this big, dark caramel colored (some say, chocolate) Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He's probably 80 lbs, more or less. He really, reeeeeaaally does not like to be left alone.

One night last week, he apparently got tired of hubby and me going back and forth between the kitchen and living room to watch the tube while we were eating dinner. Right when I was ready to get up to get seconds, S got up on the couch and plopped himself down, with his forelegs and huge paws that I love so much sprawled across my lap, and his head, leaning against me. He looked up at me as if to say, "How can you possibly resist ME? I love you!" %-D

Well, how could I? I couldn't. I asked hubby to please bring me a second helping of sauteed Chinese cabbage (with garlic). Yum! And I ate it right in front of S, with his longing, searching eyes fixed on me, and telling him, "You ought not to think I'm being cruel to eat in front of you like this, because you've trapped me!"

It's hard to describe just how loving S is; he just loves EVERYBODY. Including strangers! That's not good guard dog material! ;-)

Actually, he's got a fearsome growl, so, better not take him for granted! Chesapeakes are one of the most loyal, possessive breeds out there, so no one better mess with his owner or his family!! We've already tested him out at home.

He's very sensitive, too. The last couple of days, hubby and I have had to put eye drops in his eyes, again, for an eye infection. It's a battle. I'm sure any dog owner knows this already, but our S sure hates it, despite all the petting and cooing we do to calm him down. We put drops in 3x today. And tonight, he showed his resentment towards us quite clearly. Though we tried to give him our assurances of love --with a treat thrown in, he probably felt betrayed! He was unresponsive toward our entreaties of affection. Didn't want to play at all. :-(

I hope he'll forgive us soon! ;-0

Now I know why people love their pets so much. I used to think they were crazy to have such love and compassion for a non-human! I must be one of those crazies, today! I still think that humans come first on the food chain...but that does not lessen my love for S in any way.

He's my buddy. My goof partner. The one who puts things into perspective in an instant when things seem gloomy. My sweet, stinky friend who leaves hair balls and dirty pawprints on my floor. The one who greets me every morning with a happy face. Who wants to kiss me all over when I'm going through my yoga routine each morning. My four-legged child who doesn't want me to leave him at night.

He's my guy.

After hubby, that is! ;-)

Woof woof!!



"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner (1946-1989), American comedienne and actress

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Wish This Dog Could Talk (clean my floor, wash my dishes, read a book, etc!)

I LOVE my father in-law's Chesapeake Bay Retriever, S. If he could talk, I'm sure he'd remind me that I've been neglecting my blog.

S is a gentle soul. Goofiest being I ever met! I never in my life imagined I'd be so attached to a four-legged creature as I have become to him. He's my buddy. He's the live Snoopy I have adored all my life (in the Peanuts cartoon strip)! :-)

I can be annoyed with him, and he will forgive me. Present-tense animal: he's not likely to remember what happened 10 hours ago (I don't think!).

He's sensitive, like me. If anyone hollers at him that he's bad or to get out of the way when that person is working, he'll quickly back off and keep his distance. I would do the same. Nobody wants to be another person's punching bag when she or he is in a bad mood. I sure as hell don't. And I can tell S doesn't either. When I see he's been hurt, my heart goes to him...and I try to give him lots of J love, which often comes in the form of massages. I am, after all, a licensed massage therapist! ;-)

If I accidentally step on him, open the door wide open (w/o looking to see if he's there), or become sharp with him, I will always apologize right away.

Fil leaves S here during much of the week, so hubby and I are with him most of the time. This is the closest we'll ever come to being parents. ;-D

As S is an action dog and requires vigorous physical activity, we try to play with him, and take him out swimming in the river everyday (while we take it easy in the canoe!). Yes, I know, we have it good! And so does he--but he doesn't know it, I don't think. Or maybe he does? ;-) He sure knows where the comfortable spots are in our home and my parents in-law's home!

That's why I wish he could talk and tell me what's he's thinking! Instead, I'm left to interpret his gestures, and deep, penetrating gazes. What do they mean?


For example:

Getting on the couch and turning his back toward me.

You hurt my feelings!

I am really pissed at you (because you won't throw my stinky toy around the living room)!



Sitting very still before me while I'm on the sofa snacking on popcorn, ice cream or some other dessert, and gazing at me with great intensity:


Can I have some?

When are you going to share with me?

You know you love me! Why aren't you sharing with me?



Putting his chin on my arm while I'm eating dinner and gazing at me with great intensity:

I love you! Will you share some of your dinner with me?

If I look at you long enough like this, I bet you'll give me a piece of fish/veggie/whatever's on your plate!



Plopping down on the floor loudly and with a *sigh*:

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo completely booooooooooooooooored!

You're ignoring me! I'm gonna turn my back on you since you're not paying attention to me!

No one wants to play with me? Humph! (plop!)

No one at the table is going to share her/his food with me? *tsk*!! (plop!)

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo completely tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired!



When he sees something unfamiliar in a familiar place--patio furniture, laundry hanging outside, a ladder in the house, a spider or an insect, and he starts barking ferociously as if they're enemy combatants:

Oh, my God! What the heck is going on here? Where did these invaders come from?!

You better watch out! I'm gonna get you if you move! I'm here to protect the family!

What are you doing HERE? Get out! Go away! I'LL take care of YOU!



When he runs up to every visitor and wants to lick them all over:

Oh, oh! COMPANY! I LOVE COMPANY!!

I LOVE YOU! (I don't care if you're family or the mailman!)

LOVE ME! Please love me! Pet me! Shower your affections upon me!



When he lets out deep, soulful barks as he first jumps into the water, whether river or swimming pool, and also while swimming and then finding shallow spots to hold himself high and go off on a barking frenzy:

Oh God! THIS is what I've been waiting for ALL day! %-D

This is how life should BE! Hear my bark echo throughout the town! Let me fool J into thinking there is more than one dog here!!

Why aren't you guys in the water with ME?!?!

LOOK AT ME! WATCH ME!



The deep, piercing look of utter disbelief and betrayal when we leave him alone at night or when going out to run errands:

Again? How can you do this to me yet again?

I cannot believe this is happening to me!

No! Please don't leave me! Are you really going?




What other things does he do?

I know that when he sits in front of me or lies down on his side, he wants a massage. Sometimes he gets three (mini) massages in a day!

Or, if he goes into the dining room, looks back at me, then looks toward the kitchen, it means he wants to go out.

If outside, and he's facing away from the door, he's not ready to come in.

Those three things~I don't need him to talk to me then!


He also messes up my floor. That's what I get for allowing him in our cottage, which I didn't allow for the first 10 months he was here. But when I saw him napping so peacefully on our sofa the first time, he had me wrapped around his paw...I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. He was just too cute, and looked so happy! :-)

Living out in the country is very peaceful. But it's also a lot dirtier, with more bugs (BIGGER bugs!) and spiders. I never aspired to be a domestic goddess--I've got better things to do with my time, and housework to me is a Sisyphean endeavor, but as I have let my beloved four-legged buddy into our humble domain, I must contend with cleaning more, because our kitchen floor is white, and EVERYTHING shows. :-( Ugh!

If only S would use his big tongue to lap up his dirty pawprints! %-0 After all, he's like a vacuum cleaner in the water, seemingly sucking up any leaf or piece of bark that floats by (but not always keeping it).

And because he's such a people person, he wants to be where the people are, even if we are doing such a mundane chore as washing dishes. He'll walk right up to us and want attention...but he never offers to help! :-(

This dog is SO easily bored. He can let the world know with the loudest, deepest sighs! %-0 He sniffs our books on our bookshelves, occasionally. I'll bet he's envious of us reading books, seeing fil read the newspaper, or watching us on the computer! ;-)

What a dog he would be if he could discuss great literature, the news, solve a mathematical proof for hubby (or fix a computer bug!)!

Could he be thinking:

I am soooooo jealous! Why can't dogs do what humans can do?


Wishful thinking, eh? It's probably more like:

You humans! This is so incredibly boring to lie here and watch you read/work on the computer/watch the tube! You should be OUTSIDE, running around, chasing geese and rabbits and squirrels! Getting your paws muddy! Getting yourself dirty and stinky! THAT'S LIVING! %-D


Whatever he thinks, it must be intense because his head is always warm (like mine!). Once he laid his head on my lap and it was so hot that I began to wonder if he was going to burn a hole in my jeans!!

Talk or no talk, I love S very much. He's the ultimate goof partner, and reminds me of what's important in life: to be yourself and be free!

Whenever I might fall into a sour mood, hubby brings S over to help me put things into perspective: the world is not coming to an end (though S often sulks!)! CHILL! Just look at ME! :-D


Woof woof!!


"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."
- Anonymous

Friday, January 22, 2010

Trust Women

This post is in response to NARAL Pro-Choice America's Blog for Choice Day 2010, to "to raise the profile of reproductive rights in the blogosphere, all the while celebrating Roe's 37th anniversary".

I firmly believe that a woman's right to choose is a core progressive value that must be protected and advanced, and this is why I have decided to participate.

This year's theme is Trust Women. It is what was written on a button that the late (murdered) Dr. Tiller wore.

What does Trust Women mean to me?

I will tell you exactly what it means to me: it means respecting women. It means you regard us as equal and worthy human beings as men are. No less. And TRUSTING us to make our own decisions about our own bodies~our reproductive health.

MY BODY IS MINE. No government, deity, religious organization, family member, or even my spouse, owns my body. I am NOT a piece of property to be ruled by, interfered with, invaded by, or controlled by any of the aforementioned. Certainly, NOT without my consent, if I were so brainless to allow it.

Respect brings trust. That is how I feel.

I doubt there is any man on planet earth who would want his partner, family, church, or government trying to control the decisions he would make about what he does with his health. His body. Is there no fairness here? Let's do what we want with women's bodies, counsel us on what we should or should not do, and condescendingly tell us that others know what's best for us? Override our concerns, decisions, even civil rights? To hell with what we want? But please, leave the men alone?


I will say right now that I don't like abortion. I'd like to think most people don't, though some wing-nuts out there would paint all pro-choice activists as abortion lovers, and that the ones who have them do it willy-nilly. Legal or not, women will always seek to terminate an unwanted pregnancy as they probably have throughout history. However, on this touchy subject, I agree with President Obama: that it should be safe, legal and rare.

There is little I can say about the subject of abortion, as I have never faced the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. But having been threatened with rape once...and having been friends with a woman who was raped at gunpoint, I know the very real fear AND anger, of the danger of my person being violated in the worst way. And seeing up close how being violated has scarred a friend forever.

What happened to the rapist, the criminal? I don't know. Maybe he got a slap on the wrist (a few years in jail?), or most likely, he escaped with impunity...continuing to violate and ruin more women's lives. Why is the onus always on the woman? Where is there accountability on the man (or boy) who may have impregnated her? Is there ever talk of self-control on his part? Responsibility? Why is he allowed to screw up the life of a woman, while he can go off and have his fun with impunity as society turns her into a villain, engaging in useless speculation on where she was, what she was wearing, etc., and focusing all the blame on her, instead of the criminal and the crime itself. Why is there no talk of male responsibility?

I deeply empathize with those women who live in fear of the unknown. They may have big dreams of advanced education, career, family, whatever. And my heart aches when I read stories of those couples who turned to Dr. Tiller (on his memorial page), when unforseen medical problems arose in the third trimester were deemed by medical specialists as hopeless for the fetus--and possibly dangerous for the mother, compelling them to make an excruciatingly painful decision to terminate the pregnancy.

That was THEIR decision to make, ultimately. THEIR bodies. THEIR private lives.THEIR CHOICE. Does Uncle Sam or the holier-than-thou religious harassers at women's health clinics have any empathy for women? Do they have any clue what fear, violence, or violation of their most intimate parts might feel like? From their blind, violent outrages, it wouldn't seem so.

Who does the government or religious people think they are to interfere? Some talk about less government interference in people's lives, but have no compunction about telling a woman what to do with her body. Take for example "Crisis Pregnancy Centers": in reality, many have turned out to be centers of proselytizing on taxpayer monies, giving no medical information, or misinformation, to vulnerable women.

That in itself is a public health threat. It is dangerous. They are using taxpayers' hard-earned money for deceptive practices. False advertising. Not all crisis centers are like this (I hope), but many seem to be, from the news I've read over the years.

That is NOT respectful toward women. There is no trust there.

And reproductive rights extends beyond having the choice to terminate a pregnancy, especially in the case of rape, incest, threat to the mother's health, or a prognosis of the fetus' quality of life (based on sound medical advice). What about getting second or third opinions and being denied that option because a doctor or court "knows best"?

Or the excess amount of C-sections and hysterectomies being perfomed in this country--often for NON-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors? Why are there 600,000 hysterectomies performed in the USA each year, many of which are medically unnecessary?

Are our bodies just something the medical establishment can profit off of that easily, while we deal and suffer with a myriad of subsequent health issues stemming from unnecessary, radical surgeries?


I don't call that respect towards women. Certainly, not trust.


NO ONE is going to control, invade, interfere, or rule over my decisions over my body, my reproductive health. Not least without MY consent. My body is mine. No government nor deity or religious organzation has any right to control me...my body.

Stay out of my womb. I am not a piece of property. Nor a doormat.

I respect myself too much to blindly let anyone--or anything, dictate what I should do with my body. I have a pretty good brain inside me~I can make intelligent, informed decisions in consultation with my health care provider if I am told something isn't quite right. I do my research whenever I am told something is amiss inside me. And I encourage every woman to do likewise.


It's your body.


As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive, misogynistic one. I want to live in a world where women are regarded as equal and worthy as men are. And I am ready and willing to stand up and fight for that, tooth and nail, if need be.

Trust Women! It would be an honor to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousins, and friends...to all the women who came before them, and all the women who come after them.

That is what I believe. For me to believe otherwise would be an insult to the women in my family. To their dignity.

That is what Trust Women means to me.



The best proof of love is trust.

~Dr. Joyce Brothers, American psychologist, (1927)