Sunday, June 15, 2008

Highly Sensitive Person

I like taking quizzes that I know I won't be graded on, like a lot of the silly ones on Facebook: What Kind of Disaster Are You? (avalanche!), What Dictator Are You? (Theodora, of the Byzantine Empire!), What's Your Best Quality? (loving!), etc. !

But I also like taking more serious ones, such as on health and personality traits because I think it's very important to know thyself and what you stand for, lest some snake oil salesperson/politician tries to sell you something you're not sure about. The most recent test I took came from a book called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

According to it, I am probably a highly sensitive person. For instance, I answered true to the following statements:

  • Other people's moods affect me.
  • I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells (yes,
  • that's me!), coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.
  • I have a rich, complex, inner life.
  • I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
  • I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
  • I startle easily (just ask my man!)
  • I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
  • When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment, I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
  • I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
  • Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood (definitely me!).
  • I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art.
  • I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations (only in recent years).
  • When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise (not all the time...I think I'm getting better!;-)
  • When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

What a package deal I am!;-D

According to Aron, who is herself an HSP (highly sensitive person) and has done a great deal of research on the subject, "Most people walk into a room and perhaps notice the furniture, the people--that's about it. HSPs can be instantly aware, whether they wish to be or not, of the mood, the friendships and enmities, the freshness or staleness of the air, the personality of the one who arranged the flowers....Our trait of sensitivity means we will also be cautious, inward, needing extra time alone. Because people without the trait (the majority) do not understand that, they see us as timid, shy, weak, or that greatest sin of all, unsociable." (pp. 4,5)

I am glad she added, "You forget that you belong to a group that has often demonstrated great creativity, insight, passion, and caring--all highly valued by society." (p. 5) :-))

A classmate in high school once said aloud to me before class started, "I think you're STUCK UP!" because I never said anything. I was deeply offended, and blurted out, "NO, I'M NOT!" %-0

That's one area where one could say I am sensitive: being told I'm something that I'm not! I prefer to say it's my pet peeve: people who aren't very perceptive at all and decide to play shrink on me. That reeeeaallly grates on my nerves! Get off your high horse, pleeeze! >:-(

I had a coworker who said to me one day (shaking her head), "J, I don't think you'll ever be strong-willed!" I cannot remember the circumstances that caused her to say that, but I'll tell you something, that burned me up! You obviously don't know me, dear coworker! Blind, unperceptive bitch! I must have forgiven her for that slight because a year later, after I left that office, I invited her to a symphony concert (I worked for an orchestra as a slave dog administrative assistant) and had two free tickets.

Strong smells really get to me. I wrote about this last year on one of my posts, regarding my doggy nose. If an aroma or odor is overwhelming, I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day. Not to say I don't appreciate scents, but I've had to move to the back of the bus because some ladies have doused themselves in perfume and it made me want to puke. The same goes for offensive foot or body odors; I don't go looking for these smells, they find me! Or more precisely, my nostrils.

I know that I sense other people's moods a lot quicker than my friends. If I mention it to them, they give me a look of wonder! %-0 What? Really? I suppose moods can also be translated into more modern day terms, like energy. "So-and-so was giving off bad energy today!"

Case in point: last year, I interviewed with a chiropractor who put me and his staff on edge. He could have been David Carradine's character in "Kill Bill"! Looked like him and acted like him! %-( A close friend of mine who is also a massage therapist told me he gave off too much bad energy. That might sound like voo doo to your average joe on the street, but it took me the whole rest of the day to recover from him. He was rude, talked twice (and cursed) on his cell while interviewing me, and was just hostile in general. Plus, he had a low opinion of massage therapists anyway, evidenced by his offer of very low wage and haughty manner toward me and other comments he made to staff while I was there.

I like my solitude. Reading takes my mind to many great places. ;-) I crave my quiet time. And I like my sleep. Rest is always a good thing! Now, after having read this book, I don't feel guilty for extra naps or an extra hour or two of sleep, which to others may be deemed as pure laziness. If I don't take care of my body, who will?

Music is sweet salve for my soul: I often get lost...swept away in something I like. It's like my mind is a sponge, reflecting whatever the mood a piece is conveying, be it opera, Bach, Beethoven, Bartok, big band, the Beatles, or the Bee Gees! %-D I have often stayed an extra few minutes in a store (especially on hot summer days) just to hear the end of a song!

Perhaps I should just say that I am a sponge. Like tofu. I absorb whatever flavors, scents (and moods!) are out there, for better or for worse. It's why I have always cherished my quiet times and my beauty sleep: to balance out any excitement, positive or negative, that I may have experienced that day. Now I understand. :-)



"Worship the gods if you wish, but first, know thyself."
-- Socrates