Facebook Addiction!

addiction (plural addictions)

1. The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination.
2. A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma.
3. A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences.
   

--Wiktionary

Oh my! I hope that my participation in facebook will not damage, jeopardize, nor shorten my life! %-0

I have arrived at point where it is difficult not to log into facebook each day. When I don't, then I wonder what I've missed!

Mostly it's mushy, silly stuff. Like friends sending me virtual flowers, symbols, food, plants, and other gifts--though some of those things are meant to help save rainforests, feed a starving child in a war-torn area of the world, or help raise awareness and money for causes such as cancer research. Just click and go: you've done your good deed for the day! ;-0

Sometimes it's a friend request--someone who found me in the mass of people on that worldwide social network. Someone whom I've never met before. In fact, most of my facebook friends are people I've never met! But that's the benefit of a social network site: you can get to know people around the world who share similar interests. I enjoy meeting people from all over the world!

What I like best is the personal messages from friends. Out of a long list of friends, you're bound to get to know a few pretty well and become as close as you allow. Words can go a long way: traveling through distance and time. Why else do we still read literary classics during our school years and beyond?

Some people have a whopping amount of friends: hundreds! Or hundreds and hundreds! Olympic champion Michael Phelps has 1,745,206 fans on fb...as of today!

Or friends?

At what point does it become ridiculous? I don't need THAT many friends! %-0

Do I?

friend (plural friends)

1. A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection.
2. A boyfriend or girlfriend.
3. An associate who provides assistance.

   The Automobile Association is every motorist’s friend.

   The police is every law abiding citizen’s friend.

4. A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted

   a friend of a friend

5. A person who backs something.

   I’m not a friend of cheap wine.

6. An object or idea that can be used for good.

   Google is your friend.

7. (colloquial, ironic, used only in the vocative) Used as a form of address when warning someone. You’d better watch it, friend.
8. Sales pitch from a preacher or presidential candidate (my addition!) My friends....!
   

(also from Wiktionary)

I have many good friends, some closer than others. I don't like to categorize, but it's true: I do feel genuinely closer to some than others. That in no way means the ones I'm less close to are not good-- not at all! %-0 Some friends are better communicators than others. Or want to keep in touch more often. ;-)

Much of that I attribute to WRITING. Exchanging thoughts. Picking each others' brains. Baring and sharing souls, your innermost thoughts. Communication does not always have to be verbal! Words are powerful!

Lately, I am finding myself closer to some new friends on facebook than people I've known most of my life. I daresay some would even understand me better than "older" friends, even though we have never met. Is it a crime to say some are more perceptive than others? I don't think so! Everyone has different gifts to offer. :-)

Living in the sticks has compelled me to become addicted to facebook. My pals are scattered across the country and the world. You know who you are if you're reading this! ;-)

How did people meet people from around the globe before computers where a common household item? I bet a lot of it started through pen pal clubs. After all, that's how I met the love of my life. :-) When I was little, I heard about a pen pal club on a kid's show called, "The Big Blue Marble". I was fascinated! I wanted to meet someone from somewhere else! I got a pen pal from Australia. I don't remember her name, but I think I have her old letter and photo in my temporary pen friend file (a.k.a. "flake file"!). I save all my written correspondence! Well, I saved most of it.

That's another story, which I shared last year (2/14/07) on my blog: I want to beat Napoleon. :-)

Going back to the top: if an addiction is a "pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences", then am I in danger of being involved in facebook? Hey, it wouldn't be just me--it'd be millions of people! %-0 Doped up on a social networking site!

All I can say is that I enjoy it very much. And I've met some very cool people on there as well. Fb may very well have it's own problems, I don't know what (being connected to Uncle Bill Gates, for one?), and I am aware I am exposing facts about myself everytime I add a new application to my profile.

If fb suddenly shut down, I'm sure another social networking website will arrive in its place. But as my email is on my profile page, I'm quite certain a few friends will find me!

Be A Friend

Be a friend. You don't need money:
Just a disposition sunny;
Just the wish to help another
Get along some way or other;
Just a kindly hand extended
Out to one who's unbefriended;
Just the will to give or lend,
This will make you someone's friend.


Be a friend. You don't need glory.
Friendship is a simple story.
Pass by trifling errors blindly,
Gaze on honest effort kindly,
Cheer the youth who's bravely trying,
Pity him who's sadly sighing;
Just a little labor spend
On the duties of a friend.

Be a friend. The pay is bigger
(Though not written by a figure)
Than is earned by people clever
In what's merely self-endeavor.
You'll have friends instead of neighbors
For the profits of your labors;
You'll be richer in the end
Than a prince, if you're a friend

--Edgar A Guest (1881-1959), American poet

STOP IT!

TODAY is the UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

How is it that in the 21st century one in three women will be beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime, according to the United Nations? And also, according to the UN, women between the ages of 15 and 44 are at greater risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, traffic accidents, war and malaria?

Why do close-minded, religious zealots feel the need to throw acid in schoolgirls' faces? Why do the men who are "leaders" in a church establishment want to excommunicate a brave member for his open-minded respect for women? WHY are women STILL thought so little of today?

What are we women worth?

Everything! As good as any male on earth...equal as human beings, I'd say. We are all priceless. :-)

It hurts my heart every time I hear about a woman, or group of women, being violated. Abused. Harassed. Exploited. All of the above. I freeze whenever I hear the this sort of news or see it. As if I am held captive.

Either I have become more sensitive to these issues, or the ocurrence of violence has increased over the years. Certainly in war torn regions like Iraq, Afghanistan, and countries in Africa like the Democratic Republic of Congo--women have suffered acts of violence and abuse more than those living in non-conflict areas of the world.

Today, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon called on the world (leaders) to do more to address the abuse of women and girls. Abuse of half of humanity affects all of humanity. What's the point? Power control? Threatened loss of power? What does that power mean if a leader is incapable of respecting the women and girls he OR she leads? Many women are guilty, too, of being silent. Silently accepting that women deserve to be treated like second-class citizens. I am not innocent of this.

Last month, our US President Bush declared October as National Domestic Violence Month. It looks very good what he has on paper. But I wonder how much he truly believes it, considering that he doesn't have a record of supporting women's reproductive health rights. Does he know all the facts about domestic abuse? Do YOU know? I'm still learning!

I wonder who it is who patronizes underage girls in the brothels of third world countries? No, I don't reeaaally want to know who, but those people are as guilty as the ones who deceive young women and their families with the promises of a "decent" job. It's evil what they're doing. The end of slavery never arrived. It just continues in a different form.

If people can overcome their prejudices and vote for the first African American president in history, vote in several states to allow gay marriages, and in other countries which are historically MUCH more patriarchial than ours to elect a woman to the highest office in their land, then surely, everyone can learn that violence, abuse, sexual exploitation and all that it encompasses--IS UNACCEPTABLE. Inexusable. Can't they? Can't we? Punish the wrongdoers with a zero tolerance policy. That's how I feel about it.

I hope we'll have more enlightened leaders in my lifetime. Those who could help to educate those who might have outdated ideas about women.

We are human beings, too, worthy of respect!


"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead."

-- Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888), American novelist

One Small Step Forward for Women

This election convinced me more than ever that I will never vote for anyone, female or male, who does not represent what I value. What I believe in, and what I am willing to spend the rest of my life making a stand for.

It sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Vote your values.

I have too much self-respect and respect for the women in my family--both those who came before me, those who come after me (nieces, cousins), as well as my friends, and for the feminine half of humanity, to ever insult them with a vote for those who would so blatantly disrespect women.

If you know me or have been reading my posts in the last year, you know that I am impassioned about women's rights. Senator McCain and Governor Palin forced a lot of women to wake up and speak out. That's always a good thing! ;-)

It wouldn't have mattered if everything else they had on their platform was agreeable to me: I still could never stomach having a president who has a long record voting against women's health regarding family planning and reproductive rights for women both in the USA and abroad, has voted against funding the VAWA, the Violence Against Women Act. Furthermore, how could I have voted for someone who thinks so little of women--that he ultimately decided to put a anti-woman woman on his ticket, thinking that women would fall for it?
It's insulting, to say the least.

Women's rights: that's my number one priority. The measure I use to evaluate each candidate whom I am asked to consider to represent me for public office. Everything else is secondary. We make up more than half of humanity. We help create life and bring life into the world. Mothers are the glue of most families. But we still experience rampant sexism. And many women around the world are still being treated like second-class citizens at best, regarded as commodities to be exploited in sexual slave trafficking or in inhumane working conditions conveniently overlooked by governments and multi-national corporations.

I don't know who scares me more: him or her? The governor. Yes, definitely.

Thank goodness for blogs like Women Against Sarah Palin, for thinking women (which included women of her own party) to express their deepest fears about what might be if such a ticket of anti-women leaders were to govern our country.

She has given me every reason to dislike her. And continues to do so. You'd think she had committed a personal grievance against me the way I rant on about her, even post-election. But as I mentioned above, when I think about women's issues, I think about the women in my family, what my elders have suffered in the past, and what I don't want my nieces to have to endure in the future. Misogyny. Sexism. All the attendant harmful attitudes and actions that come along with them. I start with my family, my friends, and then I think of ALL the women around the world.

First, she dissed our president-elect (whom I didn't vote for) by mocking his background as community organizer. Those are the people who do the thankless job of trying to get everyone together, educate participants to better their community. I'm all for community improvements and social justice. Community organizers get the shit done! Even from my extremely limited experience of having to organize board members of a city orchestra to come together at a meeting (getting them to agree on the date, and sometimes, agenda) and organizing volunteers for various activities gave me a taste of what it takes to organize so many people for a common purpose.

What does the governor have to say about community organizing now that her running mate's rival will be in the White House, thanks due in part to the skills and lessons he learned so many years ago as a community organizer?

The fact that she would force rape victims to pay for their own rape kits is unimaginable to me. Is it because she is so religious and opposed to abortion and that there is (I assume) contraceptives in the kit that she doesn't want taxpayers to pay for it? And she wants the victim to go through with an unwanted pregancy from someone who violently violated her? No exception for rape or incest? How in the world can she call herself a feminist, as she answered that, yes she is, when asked by a reporter shortly before elections (she didn't seem very convincing in her tone to me!)?

The library incident was the last straw for me. That she even wanted to remove books from the PUBLIC LIBRARY that were offensive to her personal, religious beliefs was a big, red flag to me. THAT was, and is, totally unacceptable to me. I'll read whatever I please! I actually did write to reporter at the Anchorage Daily News to ask about a detail re: the letters--it seemed so high schoolish to me, and she wrote me back, saying that apparently it had been done before: sending letters of threatened termination, asking the recipient to reapply, and answer WHY they should have the job.

I don't trust anyone who would dare to censor books. It assumes people are so stupid that they can't think for themselves, especially when presented with material that offends the person or people who wish to ban the books in question. I really despise that to the marrow of my bones.

And this morning my blood was boiling! :-( On the radio news show "Democracy Now", songwriter Gretchen Peters expressed her disappointment with the governor from Alaska who used her song "Independence Day", which was recorded by singer Martina McBride in 1994, for her own campaign rally. That song is about an abused woman. A very powerful song, I might add. How ironic that the governor used it (out of context), and is for women paying for their own rape kits. Ms. Peters did the right thing: she decided to donate the royalties from that that song to Planned Parenthood during election time--in the governor's name, to help women in need. ;-b (though I wrote in a past post that I have a few issues with PP. :-()

What's next with her? Why should I care? I don't even know her, personally! However, I do think she can be very mean-spirited when she wants to be.

It is women like the governor of Alaska who scare me. Women who would set women's rights back decades. To my mind: centuries! %-( I'm keeping an eye on her, and women like her. Men, too. They shouldn't be allowed to be in public office for that reason alone...that's my personal bias. Leave your misogyny and religious beliefs at home at let people live freely!

I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive police state. I will remain on guard until my last breath.

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. Jenny Joseph, English poet (b. 1932)

Day After Witches Brew

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go/Back to their quiet graves below.

-Theodosia Garrison, American poet (1874-1944)


If you look out one of my bedroom windows, you can clearly see about six or seven graves across the way, beyond a little creek running in front of it. They are the final resting places of the original owner's family who lived on the property that we now live on; most of them died circa 1830.

In the spirit of Halloween (and I meant to post yesterday, but baked cookies instead), I was kind of hoping I could meet their ghosts. That they'd tap on our bedroom window to say hello. ;-0 Just to see what they looked liked. Is that morbid? Maybe I watched too many scary movies this past week? I'm just curious that's all! %-)

One night, hubby and I stayed up and watched "Halloween", and then the 4th and 5th sequels! I had no idea it had so many sequels. Eight or nine, including a remake of the original one. It was good for laughs, at best. Scary as always!

I still think psychological horror movies are the scariest movies, like "Psycho", "Raising Caine", and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". I don't like watching too much blood and gore, especially those that have disembodied head scenes. That would make me puke in a flash.

My little Halloween decorations are still on my windowsill and fridge. I haven't taken them down yet because I think they're awfully cute. Mice can be super cute in cartoon version. But not in real life. Well, maybe momentarily, but they no longer become cute when they've caused damage and/or pooped your property. The last three nights in a row, three mice have got caught in mil's kitchen. And the same trap in the same place. The second one let out a squeal and startled us! His back broke and it took longer for him to perish. The other two died instantly.

I prefer Tom and Jerry! :-)

No tricksters came by our home yesterday. We didn't have any candy to distribute anyway. There's NO light on these country roads! %-0 It is kind of fun to give candy out. The last time we did that was when we still lived in our house in DE. During the last couple of years we were there, door to door trick-or-treating seemed to be out of fashion, in favor of parties for kids, in the name of safety. That seems to be a reasonable thing to do, but if I were a kid, I'd still rather go door to door: there's more spookiness and fun there, in contrast to being herded into a party. I'm not a party person--that's not my style, so that's my personal bias. I like to go exploring on my own, or with a couple of close friends. ;-)

No fantastic, technicolor dreams last night, which is strange, considering all the horror movies I've watched each night in the last week. I dreamed I was scheduled to take a FRENCH class, for this morning! Why? I don't know! Are there secret travel agendas lurking in my mind? Was my five years of French not sufficient for whatever reason? Hey, if someone told me I had to be in class right now, I wouldn't mind--I love learning languages!

This year, I didn't don any of my Halloween earrings. I just didn't think of it until too late. I'll try to do better to get in the spirit next year!

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

-Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

How to Stay Motivated to Move My Body?

It's been one month since I ended my taekwondo training and I miss it very much. I felt it was the ONLY thing that would force me to get moving as I am NOT the athletic type, nor am I one who can stick to any exercise program for a long period of time.

And it's been almost a month now since we've moved to our new home. Now the challenge is to move my body! %-0

Several days ago, I got tired of not doing anything about it, and went outside to do my tkd forms, walk around the property, and play tag with the front door by running up and down the front steps of my in-laws home (which is maybe a couple hundred feet from our cottage) a dozen times.

Yesterday, I forced myself to go outside, but this time I jogged around the entire property. I felt like a new woman! %-D I'm hoping I can keep this up at least every other day. It's hard cuz I like the social aspect of an exercise class, and my heart is still in martial arts--I worked so hard to get my black belt, after all!

But the reality is that we are now about 17 miles south of civilization (the nearest city), three miles from the main roads in our own town, and gas is expensive. Not to mention looking for work.

Am I a slave to fate? Not if I can help it!

I have my heart and mind set on finding further martial arts training in the future, but in the meantime, I'll have to try to remember my forms. I have to think of one of my heroines, Simone de Beauvoir, who wrote,

"I remained faithful to my declared intention of turning all that life imposed on me to my own purposes" (from Prime of Life)

Of course, this move was not imposed on me: I agreed it would be a good idea, not least being that it would be financially wise. There are pluses and minuses to every living area, however.

To counter the lack of civilization nearby (!), I bought The Yin Yoga Kit from half.com yesterday. I saw it in the public library near where we used to live and it looked intriguing to me, although I never got to check it out because someone else always had it. The massage therapist in me (I am one, after all!) likes the idea of yin yoga stretching the connective tissue, rather than conditioning the muscles, in the form of static stretching--holding the form for 3-5 minutes. It is supposedly a more meditative kind of yoga, and reputedly, the oldest form of hatha yoga. I'll have to do more reading on yoga, as I know little about it; I have discovered that there are some noteworthy books on the subject in our library system down here, so I am looking forward to that.

Hubby moved our Nordic Track into a spare room today, that is linked to a five-car garage. Fil wants to turn it into a fitness room. Our NT is the original model. No fancy digital stuff or heavy machinery to help stabilize your body: you gotta do all the work! We bought it used, years ago. Then I found another near-copy of our version lying next to the dumpster in our apt complex a couple years ago, with skis missing. Hubby's got the "new" version in the fitness room now. I'd rather run up and down the steps outside! ;-)

To make myself move, I've determined any activity I engage in must be on MY terms only, for some measure of long-term success, i.e.: continuity! It has to INTEREST me, and not seem like a chore! It must have some element of FUN and VARIETY, or I'll quit from boredom! The activity/ies must also incorporate the essential activities to meet my fitness goals of flexibility, cardio, and strength, or I'm wasting my time! %-0 I don't intend to ever become decrepit in old age.

I'll have to work on the social aspect in other ways, in regards to exercise and life in general. That's a big challenge in a rural area. Maybe mil and I could walk together some mornings; she's always been a great walker.

Thankfully, there's social groups I can bide my time with, like facebook. I just need to find real face time with women who have similar interests as I do.

And just maybe one day, I hope I can find a group of people to practice all the things that go along with taekwondo or another form of martial arts with...like sparring!;-)

In Defense of Women's Health

I'm blazing hot! :-(

I have never signed a petition so fast and written my comments so quickly as I just did a few minutes ago.

This morning, I got an email from AlterNet.org:

Just three weeks ago, the Bush administration issued a rule that would limit the rights of patients to receive complete and accurate reproductive health information when they visit the doctor. It's more of the Bush administration's bad medicine, and we need your help to stop it.

This new rule could allow individual health care providers to redefine abortion to include the most common forms of birth control -- and then refuse to provide them. A woman's ability to manage her own health care is at risk of being compromised by politics and ideology. We have until September 25 to voice our opposition. Please, click here to help Planned Parenthood fight back by sending your comments to the Department of Health and Human Services:

And they give you a link to sign at the Planned Parenthood Action Center.

I have a few issues with Planned Parenthood, but this is too great for me to ignore. This is the template letter that the public can send to the Department of Health and Human Services:

I am writing to oppose the so-called "conscience" rule recently submitted by Secretary Leavitt. This regulation poses a serious threat to women's health care by limiting the rights of patients to receive complete and accurate health information and services.

At a time when more and more families are uninsured and under economic assault, we find our health care system is in crisis and our president taking steps to deny access to basic care. Women's ability to manage their own health care is at risk of being compromised by politics and ideology.

I was, and am, so outraged, I had to add my own thoughts:

And religion. This is like the Taliban: totally disrespectful of women. Think about the women in YOUR family for a moment. This rule has no "conscience"; it has no regard for the health of half of humanity. Some women need birth control for health reasons not related to preventing births but directly related to reproductive health. Would YOU deny something to your SONS, BROTHERS, FATHERS, and HUSBANDS if they needed something necessary for health maintenance? You certainly didn't turn a blind eye away from Viagra.

Don't be two-faced. Women are human beings, as worthy as men, not some commodity to be controlled by the religious and political ideologies of a few.

If the concern is abortion, banning access to contraceptives is not the answer. That is nothing but denying women their dignity and their health. It is INSULTING your mother, grandmother and ALL the women who came before them, and after them.

I haven't written this fast since the day I accidentally erased something off an ancient computer 20 years ago on the job and the executive director needed what I had just erased for a meeting she was attending. She needed it about 10 minutes. I re-produced the document it in 12 (not a bad memory, eh?), but when she left, my back was wet with sweat! %-0

I think I need to write more so I'll be a better writer. Be a better activist. Be better all-around.

There's always room for improvement. ;-)

I Need a Magic Wand

Where's my fairy godmother?!

I'm supposed to be packing my belongings, but the past few days, I've had no desire to. I just wanna wave a sparkly magic wand across our apartment, where lots of twinkly stars and glitter will appear, like in a cartoon, and then, voila! (sorry, too lazy to find out how to make the accent mark above the letter!) EVERYTHING is packed and ready to go! Yay!

Nay.

Shucks. Everyday our apartment is looking like an obstacle course. Squeeze between these boxes. Step over those boxes. Re-arrange this box. Open that box and take stuff out. Throw out that clutter!

Oooh! Clutter. We're bad with paper clutter. But we also hate waste. The trick is to try and keep paper piles in NEAT piles! All it takes is the wind from the open window to ruin a pile!

The other night, I told my mom we threw out some stuff (but didn't tell her what we threw out.) In her usual "heh heh" motherly tone of voice, she said, "Well, if I were there, honey, I'd help you save some things."

I got a little loud. Right, Mom! That's how you never get rid of anything! ("I know, I know!") How you have food 20 years old lying around that you forgot about! (silence. oops!)

I come from a family of pack rats. I married a pack rat whose father is a pack rat. I can't say I'm not a pack rat...I reeaaallly try hard not to be one because too much stuff and clutter around does unnerve me (unless it's in other people's homes!). And it's our fault. But sometimes I feel like I'm being sucked into a sort of pack rat vaccuum. A pack rat black hole!

I have to remind myself it's only temporary. I do know myself enough to realize that I am a last-minute packer. This is, after all, the sixth time we've moved since we've been married. I should be a pro at packing, right? Think again...!

The problem is, the longer you've been with someone, the more you accumulate. Do I throw this thing out that we haven't used forever and hardly works? Why the heck did hubby save these ink pens that barely work: did he think ink would magically come out again? (Shh...I threw them out!)

Why so much scrap paper? So we won't waste paper! %-0 Paper is WEIGHT. Just think of books. My man is the one who does almost all the physical moving. Ideally, you want to distribute the weight, so you lessen the chances of injuring yourself--specifically, your back. Previously, I kept books with books, bathroom stuff with bathroom stuff, etc. Don't have everything scattered in twenty different boxes. Don't mess with MY organizing system! Hear me out, he implored: it makes better sense to distribute the weight, especially with heavy items like books.

I resisted at first: I'M the organizer here, dude! I don't want to be hunting for everything when we settle down in the new place! :-( So I said to him, as long as you label every box and try to keep kitchen stuff together, and bedroom stuff together, it should be okay. I don't want a roomful of "mystery boxes"! ;-0 He agreed to label everything, and only mess with his stuff, not mine. ;-)

I try to think of packing as a search and destroy mission: what archeological treasures will I find? (I found my expired passport during our last move!) What should I throw out, or give away to the Salvation Army--or drop off in the Planet Aid bin across the street from us? My favorite black dress shoes? They're twenty something years old! Scratched up and really, little support! (I have to think about posture issues, y'know, being a licensed massage therapist!). I mostly wore those shoes for formal ocassions: weddings or funerals. Am I waiting for someone to get married? To die? How morbid! Well, they're going out; I've got my money's worth out of them!

Same thing with clothes: some things I've never worn or once or twice. Too much clothes! So why do I always look at clothes in the clearance section of a store, and take clothes from my big sister and cousins?! For change! Sometimes, you have to throw nostaglia out the window! %-0

Search and destroy! Find it! Throw it out! Keep it! Keep moving through your stuff like a time bomb was going to go off so you can get back to doing what you'd really like to do, which is anything but packing!


Recently, a longtime friend of mine asked me why I did I move so often? There were valid reasons, I told her, beginning with: when I moved to another city to go to college, move out at the year's end, move to a cottage with a friend, move out because of a nasty asshole boyfriend, move to a bedroom in a family home, move out again because of the nasty asshole boyfriend, move to uncle's apartment building, move out when hubby transferred to a new college, move out from student housing when hubby dropped out and move to the east coast and live with his parents, younger bro and sil all under one roof. Then move into our own home for nearly a decade, then move upstate so hubby could finish his degree. And now, back down to the sticks, to be near family again.

Did you get all that? All told, it's about ten times total for me for the last 22 years. So to the friend who asked me that, that's why I moved so many times.

Is it a such a bad thing? Some people ask me that question in a very patronizing way, as if moving were a character flaw or a felony. :-( What about military families? They often move a lot don't they?

I think it all depends on how open minded, flexible, and adaptable you are. I try to see it as a challenge to become more adaptable. I certainly think I benefitted, by getting to know a greater diversity of people, becoming aware of my own biases, and becoming more tolerant and open minded towards other peoples' views.

Yes, moving is a pain in the butt. No doubt about that! But it's only a temporary process. The more organized you are, the less painful life will seem! ;-0 Right now, I have periods of highs and lows, regarding our packing process. Part of me wants to leave it until the last week. The other part of me says get off your bee-hind! I thought I had tried to resolve that issue by doing a little bit each day, since we came upon the sudden decision to move last month. It worked pretty well, but maybe because the moving out date is getting ever closer, my time to spend with my close friends here and the proximity to them is coming to a close--is weighing on my mind. :-(

Leaving behind friends and activities that I was involved in the last five years isn't the easiest thing. Easier for hubby, since he's a homebody. But moving was my decision also. I'll miss them terribly. And yet I am looking forward to a new start. A new lease on life. A new adventure in an area we're not familiar with, and know no one but his parents, who only live there half the year, off and on.

I just need a magic wand to make everything look neat, clean, and pretty again in the apartment so I don't have to stumble over our own mess!

Fairy godmother! Do you exist? Where art thou?! :-0

Burning Up!

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

--Amendment I, Bill of Rights



I should be a pile of ashes from all the things that have been burning me up lately.

Things like independent journalists being brutally treated by police outside the Republican National Convention (and, I'm sure, the Democratic National Convention last week). Are they criminals? I don't think so! :-( Just listen to Democracy Now! and get a glimpse of the real world outside the political conventions.

The comments from the veteran groups (Iraq & Afghanistan, Vietnam) have been the most stirring...and shocking, in their sharing of their experiences.

I can't believe that last week, and likely, this week, protesters were confined to a caged area, like animals. Their area was designated as the "free speech area"! It all sounds like something that would be happening in a country like Myanmar/Burma, or some other developing country where human rights are ignored and scoffed at.

Police roughed up, detained, and arrested Democracy Now! staff and other journalists in the past few days, invading the places they were staying at (presumably without a warrant), and taking some of their equipment and/or taking the batteries out of their equipment. :-(( The NSA (National Security Adminstration) personnel stripped the journalists of their media passes into the RNC building. Literally ripped them off their necks. Is someone or some governing or corporate entity trying to hide something so as to prevent news from reaching people outside the convention? Interesting how the journalists and protesters are open and willing to speak the truth, and the opposing forces are brutal and secretive by not telling why their press passes are being taken or even if they will be returned or not.

All this excessive police force is very chilling, and counter-productive to what I thought they were supposed to do: maintain law and order. That sort of behavior will sow mistrust between law enforcement and the citizens on a regular everyday basis. Why go after journalists whose job is to report what is going on, and hopefully, bring the truth to the citizens?

I hope the protests will become increasingly LOUDER as the week goes on, and all the way to election day in November!

Normally, I don't care a fig for politics, though one might think I ought to since political science was my minor, and communication (with emphasis in print journalism) was my major in college. But this year, it's hard to avoid! And with my increasing interest in women's issues and everything related to it, I feel it is my responsibility to pay attention to what elected representatives are going to say because it is my future and everyone else's they're talking about!

I absolutely do not want an anti-women, war-mongering president in our White House. Not at all.

Last night, I read a New York Times article on the G.O.P.'s stance on abortion: they do not even allow exceptions for rape, incest, or the mother's health! So it won't bother them to have thousands of women die from back-alley abortions as in the decades (centuries?) before Roe vs. Wade?


Women are human beings, not pieces of property whose sole duty is supposedly to pump out puppies. It's THEIR choice how to live their lives. Uncle Sam should not enter a woman's womb, especially if he does not intend to go after the guy who fucked her up in the first place, literally and figuratively. :-(

Why is the burden always placed on the woman? Why is it only her fault for becoming pregnant? Is she really responsible for his uncontrollable, raging hormones?!

Between hearing about women-unfriendly stances by one party and the excessive police force against innocent journalists and peaceful protesters, I feel like we really are living in an Orwellian police state. 1984 was the scariest novel I've ever read, and I've read it more than once. In recent years, some unsuspecting citizens have found that if you say or write something criticizing Uncle Sam, or even participate in a peaceful protest, you could find yourself on the government's No Fly List.

All in the name of security? What about our civil liberties? When has might ever made right? I wonder if the people in charge ever heard of Ben Franklin, who wrote:

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

My wish is to live and prosper in a free, progressive country, not a regressive, police-state-like one! If my name were ever to show up on some godforsaken list, I would be even more determined to defend my civil liberties and those of my fellow citizens. Tooth and nail.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

--Amendment IV, Bill of Rights

Olympic Tube Watching

I don't watch tv anymore, except when at other people's homes (which is limited to watching late night movies on their cable channels). Or when the Olympic Games come on.

I've watched every Olympics since I was a little girl. The first star Olympians I remember are gymnast Olga Korbut and swimmer Mark Spitz. That was in 1972, 36 years ago. I haven't missed an Olympic Games since! Well...actually, I don't remember the one in 1980--the one President Carter made the USA boycott...I don't remember if that was televised for USA audiences or not?

When the games come on, my eyeballs are glued to the tube for two-weeks non-stop. I can't get enough of it! Even for some sports I have no clue about (which is most of them), like equestrian sports.

This summer, I do have a bit of restraint on my Olympic obsession as I have a Maryland Jurisprudence Exam to take and pass on the 25th of August, the day after the closing ceremony. I found out I was registered to take the exam last Friday, the day of the opening ceremony, which I didn't watch. I need to pass this exam in order to get my license to practice massage therapy in Maryland. It has little to do with the field of therapeutic massage and everything to do with the laws and regulations regarding practicing in MD, hence, the fancy name "jurisprudence". So I promised myself I would NOT turn on the tube until I studied some. I slipped tonight, though. I'll make it up tomorrow and everyday until exam time! It's taken me all week to get used to the legalese in their 36-page code of laws and regulations; I use the Olympics as a reward for studying! %-)

I tend to enjoy the winter Olympics more, just because I love watching ice skating, downhill skiing, ski boarding, and other death-defying sports against Mother Nature's beautiful snow! But I do enjoy the swimming and gymnastics competitions.

Tonight, Mark Spitz was interviewed along with Michael Phelps. Wow. I hardly recognized the former w/o his moustache! Gray hair! But his face still looks youthful on my snowy tv screen. ;-)

I've been getting better over the years at utilizing commercial time to do other things, rather than vegetating even longer than I ought to, during the Olympics. I've mended clothes, sorted coupons, read an academic analysis of Simone de Beauvoir, and even studied for my MD Jurisprudence Exam during commercials. Thank goodness for the MUTE button! Especially for the political candidates' commercials against each other! %-(

I'm certainly not the athletic type, though my participation in taekwondo has helped me to appreciate being physically active (after a lifetime of traumatic P.E. experiences in school!). Naturally, I admire those athletes who accomplish amazing feats of physical prowess! I used to fantasize what kind of sport I'd spend my life in if I had been athletically talented: ice skating? swimming? skiing? martial arts? :-)

What I don't admire is when people show bad sportsmanship, such as when they lose a competition. Fortunately, that seems to be a rare occurence during any Olympics, though more common in popular sports like baseball or hockey.

Also, I get bothered by those who seem to talk about sports like it's the most important thing in the world. People have their obessions and will know every possible detail about what they love, but which is useless to everyone but themselves; I'm no different...it's just not in the sports realm. Pardon me...I could be getting on my soapbox here, so I better stop while I'm ahead...for now!

There was a time when I was still single and lived within walking distance of a public pool. I've always enjoyed swimming, even with my lousy eyesight. I timed myself: it was shockingly slow, compared to the times of the Olympic athletes!! I decided it would be unrealistic to make such silly comparisons...who did I think I was, anyway?! Just work on my own times and set a goal.

We're moving again next month, and where we'll be, there's a pool between our cottage and my parents in-law's much larger home. :-) The only way for me to get moving is to do something that is FUN for ME. Like taekwondo. I don't know what I'll do when I move, but I already announced to hubby that martial arts is what I like and enjoy and intend to do it as long as my body can do it. :-b I've had the best instructors...it's going to be difficult to find others of their caliber, I think. Not just in technical skills, but as in caring individuals, too. Next to fun, I would say the most important factor is that the instructors and students are absolutely respectful of each other. If I don't detect that when I go hunting for a new activity, I won't be able to stomach it because I know I will NOT be able to tolerate disrespectfulness. I wish I didn't have to leave my school and that there was a branch where we were moving to, as I would have LOVED to grow and advance further...I never wanted to leave, I kept telling myself over the years! %-0 But, sometimes circumstances in life dictate you must make difficult decisions, adjust, and leave your comfort zone.

I'll take it as a challenge to grow and learn in regards to our move, just like the athletes in the Olympics do when they compete. I'm especially inspired by swimmer Dara Torres, whose age seems meaningless to herself--she's got spirit!

* * *

“Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying-power of brawn and muscle”

--Mark Twain (1835-1910), American humorist, writer, and lecturer

Sexism Sells, But I'm Not Buying It

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It




Recently, I added my name to The Women's Media Center's campaign Sexism Sells, But We're Not Buying It, a video and online petition campaign illustrating the pervasive nature of sexism in the media’s coverage.

The WMC meets with executives to share their concerns, and also welcomes its members to contribute their comments--which they also share with the top dogs. Today, I felt compelled to give them my thoughts:

* * * *

I believe the progress of a nation can be measured by how it treats its women. Based on recent and current media coverage of Senator Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Cindy McCain, we have a long ways to go.

Women make up half of humanity. And yet we are still greatly disrespected both here and abroad. Sexism in media coverage only serves to infect the public's mind that they should devalue women. Even the smallest, dumbest, most trivial comments can go a long way in keeping humanity from progressing forward.

WHY can't the media give as much attention to a woman's achievements as it does to her dress, hair, makeup, laugh quality, and other non-important details? WHY are you, the media, so afraid to view a woman as a strong, smart, human being? When a woman expresses her opinions in a forceful way, she's jumped upon by critics in the media--as well as presented in an almost disdainful manner. She's regarded as a bitch because those who report her comments when she speaks her mind aleady present her in a negative light, consciously or subconciously, due to their own biases.

I find it rather ironic that there are, and have been, women leaders of much more traditionally patriarchial nations; maybe their media doesn't have the luxury of wasting a lot of time on picking apart trivial details of a female candidate or the wives of presidential candidates.

Does the American media REALLY think the public cares about the way Senator Clinton laughs? What color her pantsuit is that she has on today? HOW does it KNOW that Mrs. Obama is an angry black woman? WHY does the country NEED to know about Mrs. McCain's assets or inheritance?

It seems to me there is a lot of anti-woman sentiment in the media and our government. As I stated in the beginning, I believe the progress of a nation can be measured by how it treats its women.

Fuzzy Leggies Reign Supreme

Summer is the time to expose ourselves. Our bodies. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

But isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder??

My fuzzy (hairy!) leggies have been the object of hard, sometimes hostile stares from both men and women over the years. I imagine that they must think of them as horribly unsightly, or that I'm a lesbian, as if either of those are some sort of felony. :-(

What do I care what others think anyway? I've got better things to do with my time! I regret I fell to peer pressure in high school and regularly shaved them (what a pain in the ass!) to fit in. Shaving legs was a high maintenance job for me. I hated it. After 10th grade, when I wasn't required to take P.E. anymore, that was IT. I stopped shaving my legs and armpits. And haven't done it since. Well, maybe a few more years shaving under the arms, but that was still a nuisance, and not done often.

Hair is a natural part of the body. I just happen to blessed with more of it on my legs. My man likes my legs just like they are! ;-b Besides, he would be gravely disappointed with me if I were to shave my legs: I'd be wasting my time kowtowing to society's idea of "beauty" when I could be doing something more productive with my time, like enhancing my brain activity through reading or writing. I wouldn't be me if I shaved my leggies, he tells me.

It is sometimes difficult to bear the stares of others when I go out and about in shorts every summer. But I try to regard it as a sort of character building test: ignore the stares! be yourself! And I admit: I am rather envious of those women who have little hair or whose hair is so light it doesn't show much, and thus, there's no need for them to shave. Yet at the end of the day, I am still glad to be me! ;-)

What am I thinking when people stare or glare at my legs? Exactly this:

• What the hell are you looking at them for?
• Do you look at everyone's legs?
• If they look that bad to you, don't look!
• And for crying out loud, why are you being so shallow? :-(
• Don't you know that a person's character traits are much more important than her physical traits?

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Hmm...that was a good movie! But when those adjectives are used together, it best fits describing peoples' character traits, rather than physical traits. Do physical traits have any value? Maybe as far as health and fitness are concerned, but beyond that, it seems all vanity and Hollywood to me. That a stranger would stare at my fuzzy leggies says more about her/him than me, I'd say. In terms of character traits, their disdain borders on ugly.

Can I consider myself a liberated woman, then, for refusing to bend to society's ideas of beauty? I think I ought to, self-proclaimed feminist that I am. :-) It is liberating not to follow the crowd! My skin is fair, my hair is black. And my hairy legs are the most blatant, public, and physical aspect of my nonconformity, even if the public only sees them three months of the year. (I do have to protect them in the cold months. ;-)) Oh yeah, I've got pretty bushy eyebrows, too. I do tweeze them occasionally as they are more visible, so perhaps my vanity gets in the way there. And I've got hairy arms, as well (don't get lost in the forest!). I certainly don't shave them!

Others have written about hairy legs, online: Hairy-legged feminist wrote some wise words about them, and an Ask Yahoo! person answered the question to "When and why did women start shaving their legs?" Blame advertisers! Or insecure women.

The hairy women I've seen in public seem not to be bothered by their fuzziness. Why should they be? If they were concerned, they wouldn't let the public see their hairiness. Which leads me to believe they've accepted themselves, and say to hell with those who are disturbed by it! To me, they seem more natural human beings--and perhaps more true to themselves, rather than those flowing out of the tanning salons.

I am who I am. Proud of it, too. ;-) And if my honey likes me and my parts just how they are, then so be it. What reason on earth is there to remove the hair on my legs or any other part on my body? What kind of message would I be sending to myself if decided to suddenly start shaving again? If I did that, I feel I would be devaluing myself, going against what I believe in--that I should be true to myself; I'd really fall prey to Madison Avenue (advertising), and become weak-willed because I'd have caved in to society's expectations of what women's beauty should be.

There's no way I can do that to myself. Absolutely not.

Besides, I've read that there are men out there who think hairy women are sexier! :-)

“The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.”

--Francis Bacon, Sr. (1561-1626)
English lawyer, philosopher

Knocking Down Doors

I have an itching desire to take over the world.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!! %-D

Why, you ask?

I can't say exactly, but I think my burning passion can be attributed to a combination of factors: being silent throughout my life and getting severely tired of that, a growing indignation at the injustices directed toward women--with impunity, here and abroad, and a growing confidence about myself in that I am more sure than ever of my values and beliefs--as well as taking physicist Richard Feynman's words to heart: what do you care what other people think?

Communication was my major in college, but I think many forget that communication doesn't always have to be verbal. It can be conveyed through body language. Or through art and music. Or it can be written.

To date, I have written three letters to my state senator regarding the status of women here and abroad. On his website, he states that he can only reply to his fellow state citizens. I called him to it in the last letter, mentioning that I had hoped to hear from him and not a staff member. Today was the third letter I sent to him, via his website. I have a burning question for him and I intend to keep bothering him until I receive a response.

Last week, I wrote a loud letter to our state public transportation peeps denouncing their short-sighted bus changes. They cut off my main artery, so to speak: the main bus I take. Now I have to take two buses to get to where I want to go. They did not make-up for this in any way: most people have to rely on another bus route that is very often unreliable to connect to my main bus, and for frequent evening riders, there's a long wait for the unreliable bus at the new hub to take us back into town. I thought that they would at least extend the hours of the new trolley, but they didn't, and it's been a headache for many. :-( I asked them if they didn't care about the safety of their riders? If so, then prove it by making the other bus' schedule more amenable to my bus and/or extending the hours of our trolley. It is SO frustrating!

If I don't hear from them, I will keep bothering them, like I have my state senator. There are two public hearings each year to air out with the public transportation people. I resolved today to show up at the next one with my list of grievances (and solutions!) because I missed my taekwondo class. The bus was way late and I couldn't wait for it any longer; it would've made me miss the connecting bus. I used to have a direct connection right outside my apt complex. No more. :-((

I've been stoking my activist volcanic fires in the last year by voraciously reading as much as I can manage. When I find a gem, I like to leave my two cents' worth on amazon.com. ;-) Why not? Whether I'm the first reviewer or the 15th, I like to challenge myself to write as clearly as possible. In being one of many reviewers, I want to say something different...or at least, the same thing in a different way!

Lately, I've taken an interest in philosophy, in order to think more clearly, better argue my viewpoints, as well as listen more critically to what others say. Of course, part of my reason to study philosophy is to become an activist in my fields of interest. The other part is my heroine and inspiration, Simone de Beauvoir, whose work I am obsessed with.

I don't particularly envision myself as one who would jump on a soapbox and make public speeches, but who knows?! I think I'd probably be more effective in the writing realm. Write powerful, subversive pieces to shake up the masses!! ;-D

I am inspired by those who remained activists for social justice throughout their lives, like Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Alice Paul, and many others. They never tired of their work...they had fire in their bellies! Remember, age is only a number.

I want to be active until my last breath. :-)




“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

--Howard Thurman (1899-1981)
American theologian, author, philosopher, educator, and civil rights leader

Highly Sensitive Person

I like taking quizzes that I know I won't be graded on, like a lot of the silly ones on Facebook: What Kind of Disaster Are You? (avalanche!), What Dictator Are You? (Theodora, of the Byzantine Empire!), What's Your Best Quality? (loving!), etc. !

But I also like taking more serious ones, such as on health and personality traits because I think it's very important to know thyself and what you stand for, lest some snake oil salesperson/politician tries to sell you something you're not sure about. The most recent test I took came from a book called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

According to it, I am probably a highly sensitive person. For instance, I answered true to the following statements:

• Other people's moods affect me.
• I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells (yes,
• that's me!), coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.
• I have a rich, complex, inner life.
• I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
• I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
• I startle easily (just ask my man!)
  
• I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
• When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment, I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
• I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
• Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood (definitely me!).
• I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art.
• I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations (only in recent years).
• When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise (not all the time...I think I'm getting better!;-)

• When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

What a package deal I am!;-D

According to Aron, who is herself an HSP (highly sensitive person) and has done a great deal of research on the subject, "Most people walk into a room and perhaps notice the furniture, the people--that's about it. HSPs can be instantly aware, whether they wish to be or not, of the mood, the friendships and enmities, the freshness or staleness of the air, the personality of the one who arranged the flowers....Our trait of sensitivity means we will also be cautious, inward, needing extra time alone. Because people without the trait (the majority) do not understand that, they see us as timid, shy, weak, or that greatest sin of all, unsociable." (pp. 4,5)

I am glad she added, "You forget that you belong to a group that has often demonstrated great creativity, insight, passion, and caring--all highly valued by society." (p. 5) :-))

A classmate in high school once said aloud to me before class started, "I think you're STUCK UP!" because I never said anything. I was deeply offended, and blurted out, "NO, I'M NOT!" %-0

That's one area where one could say I am sensitive: being told I'm something that I'm not! I prefer to say it's my pet peeve: people who aren't very perceptive at all and decide to play shrink on me. That reeeeaallly grates on my nerves! Get off your high horse, pleeeze! >:-(

I had a coworker who said to me one day (shaking her head), "J, I don't think you'll ever be strong-willed!" I cannot remember the circumstances that caused her to say that, but I'll tell you something, that burned me up! You obviously don't know me, dear coworker! Blind, unperceptive bitch! I must have forgiven her for that slight because a year later, after I left that office, I invited her to a symphony concert (I worked for an orchestra as a slave dog administrative assistant) and had two free tickets.

Strong smells really get to me. I wrote about this last year on one of my posts, regarding my doggy nose. If an aroma or odor is overwhelming, I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day. Not to say I don't appreciate scents, but I've had to move to the back of the bus because some ladies have doused themselves in perfume and it made me want to puke. The same goes for offensive foot or body odors; I don't go looking for these smells, they find me! Or more precisely, my nostrils.

I know that I sense other people's moods a lot quicker than my friends. If I mention it to them, they give me a look of wonder! %-0 What? Really? I suppose moods can also be translated into more modern day terms, like energy. "So-and-so was giving off bad energy today!"

Case in point: last year, I interviewed with a chiropractor who put me and his staff on edge. He could have been David Carradine's character in "Kill Bill"! Looked like him and acted like him! %-( A close friend of mine who is also a massage therapist told me he gave off too much bad energy. That might sound like voo doo to your average joe on the street, but it took me the whole rest of the day to recover from him. He was rude, talked twice (and cursed) on his cell while interviewing me, and was just hostile in general. Plus, he had a low opinion of massage therapists anyway, evidenced by his offer of very low wage and haughty manner toward me and other comments he made to staff while I was there.

I like my solitude. Reading takes my mind to many great places. ;-) I crave my quiet time. And I like my sleep. Rest is always a good thing! Now, after having read this book, I don't feel guilty for extra naps or an extra hour or two of sleep, which to others may be deemed as pure laziness. If I don't take care of my body, who will?

Music is sweet salve for my soul: I often get lost...swept away in something I like. It's like my mind is a sponge, reflecting whatever the mood a piece is conveying, be it opera, Bach, Beethoven, Bartok, big band, the Beatles, or the Bee Gees! %-D I have often stayed an extra few minutes in a store (especially on hot summer days) just to hear the end of a song!

Perhaps I should just say that I am a sponge. Like tofu. I absorb whatever flavors, scents (and moods!) are out there, for better or for worse. It's why I have always cherished my quiet times and my beauty sleep: to balance out any excitement, positive or negative, that I may have experienced that day. Now I understand. :-)



"Worship the gods if you wish, but first, know thyself."
-- Socrates

Bloodsuckers! Episode II :-(

This morning I found a lone bloodsucker on my PILLOW when I awoke: a teensy weensy bed bug!

So it's been crawling bloodsuckers rather than a flying ones that have been wreaking havoc on my body in the last month! Their itch is intense--I can hardly stand myself.

I'm almost surprised I caught it; they're known to feast in the dark, before dawn. The one I caught this morning running from me on the pillow must have hung around the buffet table a bit too long, as hubby put it! In broad daylight, no less. It's in a glass jar now sitting between the computers, for our morbid fascination. ;-)


I can't believe such a tiny thing can cause such misery! Hubby only got bit a few times in the last month, most recently last night. But he hardly even notices it. The itch is overwhelming. Last weekend, I got NO sleep at all because the itching drove me nuts, even after I had taken antihistamine and applied a topical cream to it. If someone had taken my arms away, I would have been happy, it was that bad (it made me cry like a baby!).

I had been just sitting on the bed reading Saturday night when I felt a tingling burning and itch on the inside of my arm...yet I didn't see anything but red bumps...about 20 of them in an elongated cluster. Like I had chicken pox all over again. Yech! Before I knew it, it itched like the dickens--and combined with the half dozen or so on my left arm, plus a mess of them on my shoulders, I got no respite all night.

Sometimes the itch is SO intense I'm beside myself. I can't stand myself and want to crawl out of my own skin. Can't concentrate or anything. I have a high pain threshold, but absolutely NO itch tolerance at all! %-(

Tonight, hubby put sticky tape all around the bed, hoping they'll stick to it when they come after us. I did wash the sheets in hot water, wipe the mattress down with Mr. Clean, and vaccum already. It might need lord knows how many more sessions of that.

I hope my prescription anti-itch cream comes soon; I was too impatient to wait in the long long at the pharmacy for it the other day, so I called the mail order pharmacy the next day. It's hard to do ANYTHING when you feel like you want to jump out of your skin. :~-(

This afternoon, it didn't help that when I was trying to purchase airline tickets online for xmas, the site didn't let me complete the purchase right around the time my itch was completely overwhelming me! Thank goodness hubby had the patience to finish it all for me.

Crawling bloodsuckers or flying bloodsuckers, I hope I don't turn into a vampire before Halloween!

* * * * * * *


Appetite


I want you to be my victim!
Yeah!
All i want is you.
Your skin so white,
whets my appetite,
your dreams, i dream,
in your bed at night.
And i sleep by your frame,
curling around my finger,
with hooks in my brain,
Blood in your veins,
slides down my thoat,
pooling inside,
now i feel you again!
This bliss,
this perfect
and passionate kiss.
Marks us in red.
I life well fed.

by Vatishi

(that last line: A life well fed, or I LIVE well fed??)

Bloodsuckers! :-(

I'm being eaten alive! And I can't even see what's biting me.

I must really have delicious blood. This morning I woke up to seven fresh bites. I am not a good person to bite because I have a very low threshold for itching. Nasty flying vampires! %-(

It's a wonder I still have any blood flowing, given that I've been mercilessly bitten since childhood. My mom always told me to rub the bite with alcohol, but the relief from itching is only fleeting. Since I moved to the east coast 14 years ago, I've also got bitten by gnats--and the itch from their bite last DAYS, not hours, like a mosquito. Once, my former doctor didn't believe me when I told him I was bit by a gnat. That really annoyed me; I'm the one the squished the bloody booger (literally!) on the site where it just sucked my blood, somewhere on my leg.

I used to hate ALL insects, but I know they're not all completely evil. I have a fondness and fascination with ladybugs, fireflies, woolly worms, fuzzy catapillars, bright butterflies, and yes...even ants! But I'll save them for another post. This one is dedicated to spewing my anger toward the flying kind that bite or sting.

I despise them SO much that I regard any person who I perceive as mean-spirited and treats others badly as an insect. An insect! How much lower can I go to describe them and their behavior than to compare them to creatures I loathe?

If I happen to have the misfortune to be the target of someone's bad mood--particularly from a male stranger who doesn't know how to keep his balls and his brains where they belong, I feel strongly compelled to shout, "You ought to be glad I'm not an insect!" Y'know, like a praying mantis. The female bites off the head of the male. Yuck!

Although spiders aren't insects, black widows do pretty much the same thing. Males in the insect world really have it bad! Slam, bam, thank you, SIR! Thanks for the fun, for fulfilling your biological duty. Have a nice afterlife! %-0

I often find myself waking up in the middle of the night itching my bites with ferocious intensity. That's not a good thing, but sometimes even the hydrocortisone cream I use for the itch isn't very effective.
The itch is intense and so is my dislike for the bloody, biting boogers.

This afternoon, I went online and searched for natural remedies. One was a mixture of vegetable oil and pure lavender oil. I like lavender (just a hint), having just bought a jar of lavender-scented massage cream to use on my clients, but I forgot how powerful pure oil can be! Whew! %-0 Hubby closed the bathroom door. I suppose it helped stop the itch, but not for very long. The scent was overpowering. Way too strong for my sensitive, doggy nose. I later went over my bites with alcohol to try to take out the lavender scent, but there's still a little bit lingering on me. I get sick to my stomach if a scent is too strong.

I'm stuck with the OTC remedies, for now, until I can find a less smelly alternative. Got any ideas, anyone?

Avon had an insect repellant lotion that I bought several years ago. I wonder if it's still effective? I confess I've had it since the summer before my youngest bil got married--I remember I've had it since then because I was at a party and my mil's late best friend spilled the beans and told everyone he was engaged! I sat there amongst the others, smothered in Avon's strongly scented lotion which I could barely tolerate--but virtually unbitten by the swarming mosquitoes, while everyone was getting jiggly and itchy from bites. It was quite pleasant to not get bitten for once!

What are these flying creatures dining on these days that make their venom so powerful? Or am I just getting more sensitive with time? I have a much higher tolerance for pain than for itch.

I got my first sting from a tiny yellowjacket a few years ago. That hurt all day long! %-( That thing was so small it was almost cute! Hubby and I put it in one of those tiny plastic take-out soy sauce containers so I could study it, with the help of the internet. Is that weird? I wanted to find out what it was that caused my neck to burn and sting all day, that's all! Unbelievable how such a tiny thing could have such a big effect. Thank goodness it wasn't an adult-sized yellowjacket. The size alone would have scared the heck out of me!

What's worse? More than a half-dozen unbearably itchy bites distributed throughout your body that lasts for several days or one nasty, burning sting that lasts all day long? They're both unwanted, as far as I'm concerned.

How do I make myself less savory to these flying bloodsuckers? They never ever seem to bite hubby. He says they've had their fill of him! They want new, tasty Chinese food! It'd be nice if they'd have their fill of me someday. I hope so, but it doesn't seem like it, after all these years.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turned one year younger today! ;-) According to Wikipedia,

Age may refer to:

The length of time that an organism has lived:

• aging, for the social, cultural, and economic factors of age and aging.
• senescence, for the biology and science of aging.

A period of history:

• list of time periods
• three-age system
• geologic timescale
• astrological age

Other:

• Age, Mie, a district in Japan
• Agé, a god from the mythology of the Fon people; the son of Mawu-Lisa;
• One of the D'ni Ages, the fictional universe in the Myst series of games.
• Agenore Incrocci, an Italian screenwriter.
• Age (Model theory), the class of all finitely generated structures which are embeddable in a structure A in mathematics.
• âge Japanese company
• The Age is a daily newspaper published in Melbourne, Australia.

AGE is a three-letter acronym that may refer to:

• Advanced Genealogical Exploration Services, an internet genealogy family tree service
• Advanced glycation endproduct, a class of spontaneously modified molecules whose modification begins with an initial glycation
• A. G. Edwards, a brokerage firm
• Agarose gel electrophoresis, a method used in molecular biology
• American Aging Association (abbreviated AGE, although not an acronym)
• Applied general equilibrium
• Arterial gas embolism
• Agricultural & General Engineers, a group of companies
• Assemblée générale des Étudiants des FUNDP, a Belgian student association

I had no idea AGE had so many meanings!

I don't feel my age. I don't think I ever have! It's only a number to me.


What makes some people young at heart, and others, not?

I don't know, but I want to be young at heart; I don't worry about the others who aren't!

When are you really old?

Past 100! Or when YOU think you're really old. :-(

Where is it written that you are supposed to act in such-and-such way at any given age?

Nowhere to my knowledge. Maybe in child-rearing advice books?

To my mind, when you're an adult and other adults may be disdainful of your youthful ways, I think that they're probably too locked in their thinking and acceptance of societal expectations. And perhaps too afraid to be themselves. ;-)

Why do people--especially those younger than me, talk like they're old farts when they're not?

Who knows! They've already aged themselves! And since they think they're old, they'll start acting old, and people will treat them as such.

How do you age gracefully?

Laugh a lot and hang around those who make you laugh. ;-D And try to do the common sense stuff like eating healthy and exercising.

There you have it: my Q & A pearls of wisdom! :-)


A dear friend emailed me this piece from comedian George Carlin recently and I'd like to share it here.


George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' *'*I'm four *and a half!' *You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm *gonna be *16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You *become* 21. Even
the words sound like a ceremony. *YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! *

But then you* turn *30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You *BECOME *21, you *TURN *30, then you're *PUSHING* 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you *REACH* 50 and your
dreams are gone.*

But wait!!! *You *MAKE it *to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you *BECOME* 21, *TURN* 30, *PUSH *40, *REACH *50 and *MAKE it *to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you *HIT* 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You *get into *your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
you start going backwards; 'I *Was JUST *92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! *
________________________________________________

Back to me...

There's more, but I'll save it for another time!

I told someone once that I was OLD. That was not the right thing to say, since I knew in my heart it wasn't true! At the very least, I could have said I was oldER.


It's only a number, it's only a number...age! I'm not getting older. I'm getting BETTER! That's what my birthday card from my dearest friend said, this year. :-)


* * * * *
Indian Summer

In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad, To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know, And do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you!

--Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

International Women's Day is TODAY!

Mother Nature is howling outside. Up to 40 mph, according to weather.com. Or 65 mph, if I am to believe the radio announcer.

Methinks it's a sign that she's not altogether pleased with the status of women around the world today. ;-0

And today, March 8, is International Women's Day: "the global day connecting all women around the world and inspiring them to achieve their full potential. IWD celebrates the collective power of women past, present and future."

Oh, I know it's wishful thinking on my part to connect Mother Nature's whims and the status of women, but I find it fitting and convenient on this important day. A day where we can celebrate the women in our lives and the many strides women have made the world over, as well as to be acutely aware of the injustices committed against women, often with impunity.

I think about my mom and my sister, who have given me so much love and guidance in my life (even if sometimes didn't appreciate it at the time!). I appreciate that they continue to share with me their wisdom, humor, sorrow and everything in between. And I know that I have derived some of my inner strength from them, having watched them endure some of their own struggles while I was growing up. I only have one mom and one sister, so, I don't want to share with you too much how special they are, lest I make anyone abnormally envious. ;-)

Mom and sis, cheers to YOU!

And while I'm at it, let me say cheers to my mil and sils, too. :-)

IWD is an official holiday in some countries: Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. According to the IWD webpage, "The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers."

I didn't even know this day of recognition for women existed until last year! Worldwide, from Africa, Asia, Europe, the Middle East and across America, there have been all sorts of events to celebrate the achievements of women, and also recognize the need for women to have equal access to education, work, pay, legal and basic human rights.

Violence against women is the main thing that makes my blood boil. It's something I've seen and experienced myself (if you include verbal abuse). It pierces my heart and makes me cry every time I hear or read something on the news about women being violated. :-( Doesn't matter if it's the hundreds of thousands of women who have been raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo or a college student who was attacked near the university a mile away...it's a violation against humanity. One act of violence affects not only the victim, but those around her: family, friends, and community.

You may recall in another post that many years ago I had befriended a woman who had been raped at gunpoint while in college. I observed how she and her family interacted with each other, as well as how she interacted with my friends, who tried to be a friend to her. In a nutshell, it seemed always to be an uneasy relationship with all involved; we just never knew when she was going to explode. I don't know that all rape victims respond to life the same as she did, but I realized how an act of violence on just one person can adversely affect everyone around her. :-(

During the 2000 census, the United Nations Population Fund published a sobering report on Violence on Women and Girls and recognized it as a major health and human rights concern. These issues of gender-based violence and all that it wreaks upon the lives of women still exist, unfortunately; otherwise, they would not need to be mentioned anymore.

On a brighter note, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon last month launched a multi-year campaign to end violence against women. :-) Moreover, at the UN commemoration of International Women's Day, he called for greater investment in women and girls (IWD's theme this year) to help further economic growth and advance development. He sounds like forward-thinking leader...I hope so.

Women are half of humanity! I love reading about women in power and/or of influence, which may include writers and artists. :-)

The women in history whose biographies and autobiographies I've read have struck a chord within me; they were independent-minded and often went against the grain--they defied societal expectations and trusted their gut in pursuing their goals. For that, I admire them greatly.

I've read about many influential women over the years, and am sure to read many more in my entire lifetime. :-) The women who have made a deep and lasting impression on me are: Hildegard of Bingen, Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, and most recently--Simone de Beauvoir (my favorite!).

I'll bet there's a Simone, Hildegard, Harriet and an Eleanor lurking in the shadows of the oppressed women and girls on this planet Earth who are starving for an education. They deserve to have basic human rights, legal rights, educational and work opportunities, and freedom from fear of violence with impunity, as many women in the western world enjoy today. They deserve to have choices. Their leaders and communities just haven't given them a chance...yet.

May it be in my lifetime. :-)

Cheers to all the women of the world, wherever you are!


* * * * *

The Laughter Of Women by Lisel Mueller

The laughter of women sets fire
to the Halls of Injustice
and the false evidence burns
to a beautiful white lightness

It rattles the Chambers of Congress
and forces the windows wide open
so the fatuous speeches can fly out

The laughter of women wipes the mist
from the spectacles of the old;
it infects them with a happy flu
and they laugh as if they were young again

Prisoners held in underground cells
imagine that they see daylight
when they remember the laughter of women

It runs across water that divides,
and reconciles two unfriendly shores
like flares that signal the news to each other

What a language it is, the laughter of women,
high-flying and subversive.
Long before law and scripture
we heard the laughter, we understood freedom.