Spider Hell

BOO!

Spiders freak me out!

I dropped an eight pound bag of multi flavored dog biscuits on a medium sized spider the other day. On purpose. And I dropped it 2x...just to make sure.

Last weekend, my 11 year old nephew, who was camping out at his mom mom and pop pop's house (which is only a couple hundred feet away from us) with his siblings, came out of the bedroom to report a spider in the bedroom. He and his younger sister and brother were sharing the big bed, and apparently did not want to have spider company.

J (nephew): Uh...there's a big spider in the bedroom!

Uncle B: Well, why don't you kill it then?

J: (almost wincing) But, it's BIG!

UB: Oh, C'mon now! You're like 100 times bigger than it!

J: Please?

me: oh, B...go do it! %-0

So Uncle B went and took care of the spider. But since he likes those creatures, he doesn't kill them. He took his shirt off, gathered it up as if putting a baby in a blanket (!), and took it outside to free it. I told J that I didn't like spiders, either...I think that reassured him, since hubby was teasing him. ;-)

I got B to take care of another his eight-legged friends when I saw one hanging from the ceiling one night this week. If he is around, I ask him to take care of it. If not, the spider has no future with me!

Yesterday, I drowned one in the kitchen sink, and vacuumed up another in the utility room. I had some mercy on it for about a record-breaking month, because hubby wouldn't take it out, saying, "it's not hurting anything". Yes it was: it was hurting my field of vision in that small corner of the room! %-0 Unfortunately, I sucked up a couple of ladybugs in the process of vacuuming up cobwebs and spiders. I LOVE ladybugs!

Oh! And then the other night, fil's puppy, S: I pointed out the medium sized spider to him and he chased it in a small space of the living room of mil/fil's house! He squashed it with his big paw (he does have large, cute paws!). He kept at it, smashing it repeatedly, as in, spider overkill! %-0 Then, like me, he kept examining it, to make sure it was deceased. :-)

It was actually pretty funny to watch him go after the spider! And I thanked him for helping me! I know hubby was probably not pleased about the spider's fate, but he was laughing with me at S, too!

Hubby, my friends and family will tell you I don't like eight-legged arachnoids. They're just...creepy!

Where do I trace my intense hatred for them? (okay, well...HATE might be a strong word, especially since I think reeeeeaaally tiny ones that are colorful, are somewhat cute--as long as they're not in my home!)

I have a clear photographic memory of riding my tricycle around the block, with my mom following me. I was probably in preschool then. I remember my mom stopping to talk with a neighbor. You know that when you're very small, and you're hanging around when adults talk, it seems like eternity, right? I happened to feel something crawling on me...I looked down, and was completely horrified by this big, black, chunky spider on my leg! Now I call them Schwarzenegger spiders, in honor of the governor of CA! Actually, I called them that before he became governor...when he was still the Terminator.

I kept trying to get my mother's attention, calling out to her as if my life were in mortal danger: "MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!" %-0 Finally, she got annoyed with my interruptions of her conversation with the neighbor and my tugging at her pants,

"WHAT is it?" she asked, exasperated. (someone like me doesn't forget the tone of their mother's voice in grave situations like these!)

"Mommy!" I whimpered, "Spi--spider! SPIIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRRRRR" I sniffed.

"Where is it?" she asked impatiently

"My l--leg!" I pointed to the creature, which was very still on my leg.

What did my mommy do? She bent down and whacked it on my leg! Gave me a spider tatoo! And went on talking with the neighbor as if nothing happened! %-0

Do you even think I would forget this traumatic experience? No way! I whined again to her, and she curtly said, "It's dead. It's not going anywhere!"

How do you know? It might come back to life! :-(

I couldn't express that then, but that's what I was thinking, since I kept staring at the spider corpse tattoo on my leg, even all the way back down the street to our house, with Mom scolding me for not looking where I was going as I was probably running my tricycle either into her legs or off the sidewalk.

When I tell hubby to take his friend out, I ask him to please take the spider WAY past the door. ;-)

He asks: Do you actually think it's going to come back and get you?

Yes, of course it will!

I just don't want to give it a second chance to come back to terrorize me!

And there's another incident: seeing the movie Charlotte's Web. I had nightmares from watching that friendly spider! My brother was not home for some reason and I wanted to sleep in his room! Selfish little sister ME wants to get away from big sister! (sorry Sis!). I was

That night after I saw it, I dreamt his entire bedroom ceiling was covered with crawling black spiders! %-0 And I screamed (yelled?) and caused Mom and Sis to run to the room. While they were trying to ask me what was wrong and calming me down, I sobbed that there were black spiders crawling all over the ceiling!

Where, honey?

Look up!

See? There's nothing there!

Well, in my mind they were there! They just didn't see them! :-(

On another occasion, when I was home alone with my sister, I came to the door in a fit because I thought I'd run into a gigantic cobweb...and thus, potentially a gigantic spider. ;-) Poor sister thought I was hurt, because (I think) I was crying and screaming. When she asked me what's wrong, I kept saying, "SPIIIIIIDERR! SPIIIDER".

But she saw no spider. Nor a cobweb. I was quite sure I ran into SOMETHING! I'm sure she could imitate what I did that day, if you wanted to know. ;-)

Does all this make clear to you that I have a lifetime intense dislike for arachnids? I don't think I'll ever get over it!

Now that we're really living in the sticks, I've been exposed to A LOT more creatures. The kind I like (ladybugs, wooley worms, tiny frogs and toads), and the kind I that makes me wince: spiders, daddy long-legs, wasps, yellow jackets). I don't like snakes or mice, either--unless they're in cartoon form or behind a glass enclosure (!), but they don't scare me like spiders and insects.

I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in Spider Hell for all the spiders I've destroyed?

Or maybe not, since I don't believe in heaven or hell.

Or maybe I'll return in another life as an arachnid?

Or maybe this is all nonsensical?

All I know is: I'm seeing more spiders this year than last year, when we first moved down here. Yes, I know they're part of our planet and they eat bad things that we don't want to know about...but I do not like them at all.

Woe be to the eight-legged creature who crosses my path! %-0

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

I Love This! :-)

From the Vancouver Sun (9/30/09):

Education paves the road to women's equality

Peace summit's closing session points way to more inclusive future

For more than 600 years, the god-king of Tibet has been a man. But the 14th Dalai Lama -- Tenzin Gyatso -- said it need not always be so.

Having declared himself a feminist on the opening day of his Vancouver Peace Summit, the Dalai Lama said at the closing session on women and peace-building, "If a female Dalai Lama can be more effective, then why not?"

"It will come. No problem."

(dear Dalai Lama~you are one cool dude. ;-))



Read more from the Vancouver Sun...!




People have confidence in women to get them out of trouble.
~Dorothy Thompson (1893-1961), American journalist

In Memoriam to a Dear Friend

There is a deep ache in hubby's and my heart today. A very deep ache. We just learned his best friend~and my dear friend, as well, died this summer. :-((

B was surfing around, looking up the latest activities of our pal when he saw that the first thing on Google that came up was "G--memorial...". First, he thought perhaps it was another person who shared our friend's namesake, but when he went to the page, sure enough, there was a photo of our dear friend.

Talk about shock. :-(

Here we were, waiting for G to get in touch with us, as was his usual way, which--as I wrote on the memorial blogpot site, is testament to G and his sometimes larger than life character...always seeming to find ways to keep touch with EVERYONE in his life in some form.

Really, though: friendship is a two-way street is it not? Both sides must strive to keep in touch, to keep the friendship strong and healthy, if it is to last through years of the good, the bad, and the ugly, which our relationship with G certainly endured. I'm sorry to say that G was much better on the communication grounds than we were, much as I like to pat myself on the back for keeping in touch with others.

He was one of the busiest people we've ever known in life: teaching, researching, counseling, mentoring, traveling, giving presentations. But somehow, he found time to reach his friends. Like us. Calling from the beach while on break from his conference. Calling us before his plane would take off to somewhere (for a conference). Calling us en route to work or a conference. He was always on the move!

Here I am, on Facebook every evening, and never checking his page all summer long, thinking he's too busy having fun with family and friends in India. Mil and fil asked about him, but all we knew was that he was going to Nairobi, Kenya, to act as chaperone for his nephew, to meet up with G's brother. And going on a safari with his nephew. It sounded like the ultimate G vacation to us! Living life to the fullest! :-)

No word from G all summer long. A little unusual, but we didn't think much of it. And now, today, we discover that the world has been without one, incredible human being since June 29. How dumbstruck do you think we feel? And regretful we didn't keep in touch more?

At the end of ten days in Kenya~on the day of his return back to his family in Goa, India, he just collapsed and died immediately. :-(

I cannot stop crying. :~(( It is unbelieveable he has left us~WAY too soon. We have known G for almost all our married life~nearly two decades, when we met in a church in the Bay Area--which we all stopped attending long ago. G was our mentor, counselor, big brother, challenger, best friend. He was an integral part of our lives.

We will miss his brilliant mind, his intense presence, his annual visits, his phone calls from everywhere. And for me, I will miss his hearty laughter most of all. It was truly contagious! Few people ever made me laugh as much as he did. ;-)

G's ceaseless, intense support for human rights and justice inspired us to be advocates for the same. He was our inspiration in many facets of life, and he loved to debate us on anything and everything, often playing devil's advocate. He was never afraid to challenge our beliefs and goals, and was always, always supportive. He was respectful of our family members and endeavored to engage them in conversation. He lived lived life to the fullest and was proud of it. :-)) An example to follow. G was the ultimate friend anybody could hope for!


In honoring G's memory, hubby and I will endeavor to become better friends to our friends and become stronger, better advocates for the causes we hold dear to our hearts. ;-)

Though we are QUITE heartbroken and in shock, we know that we have been truly blessed by one incredible human being, loved by many friends around the world, including us. We did not get a chance to say good-bye to our dear friend who enriched our lives immeasurably for the last 18+ years. He was the kind of friend whom you could not IMAGINE life without! The kind of friend whom you wanted around FOREVER. He will be sorely, sorely missed by us.

G, wherever you are, we loved you deeply. You have a place in our hearts forever.

A Time to Talk
by Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

Unleashed! %-0

“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.”

~Samuel Langhorne Clemens/Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), American author and humorist



If you are having a rotten day, do you use others at your punching bag?

I sure hope I don't. Not as habit anyway. When I have, others have called me to it fairly quickly. An apology is in order, there. ;-)

I have run across punch-baggers in many a store, in family, and a few friends (but friends always give me fair warning, as in, "let me call you back later because I'm in a really, really bad mood!" or explain to me why they are feeling cranky.)

But I am thinking: even when at times I have been majorly stressed out (at least, as adult), I endeavored NOT to use those around me as target practice, because I knew--and know, that they are not the problem. I am.

To help myself put things in perspective--that there is always, ALWAYS, someone out there who has it worse than myself, I even went out of my way after work once a week to volunarily mentor a troubled young girl~who for most of the two years I spent with her, didn't seem to want me there. That was my "therapy" to keep myself calm. ;-)

You might ask: what bought this up, being a punching bag?

I am someone who comes from a temperamental family, but rather than being extremely short-fused, I let things simmer for a long time (days, months, YEARS...!), then I explode! %-0

A terse request in the form of email came this morning. Nothing wrong there. Except that our email system sent my email an hour late, so he didn't get my email~which would have answered his request. I quickly...and angrily resent the letter! That set off my hot lava button!


About what, you ask?

• Everything and anything! !%$@!#!^%)(*!
• At myself, for being so sensitive (at times).
• At others, for being so INsensitive.
• At myself, for forgetting that others are under extreme stress in these trying times.
• At others, over decades!, for inadvertently (or purposely) using me as their punching bag and never--or rarely, apologizing.
• At others, for not learning how to manage their lives better so that they will be less inclined to transfer their misery onto others.
• At myself, for not having better self-control...yet(!).

A whole mix of things!



So this is my rant: I'm NOT your fucking punching bag. I am NO ONE's punching bag 0R doormat.


I don't deserve it! You think I do? Do I do it to you? Do you really think so little of me that you have no hesitation in striking out when it suits you?


I'm not taking it anymore! :-( I don't know why I did before, but those days are history. I will call you on it next time you lose control. Ouch!


Whether verbally or on paper, words can kill another's spirit. Or affection for another. Cause a slow death. Or cause loss of respect for others you thought you were supposed to trust. Or genuinely trusted...long ago.

I'm not asking people to be mushy, but for goodness sake, can you leave the hateful venom in the toilet where it belongs? It's often quite palpable these days. :-( (just turn on the news!).

I've come to believe over the years that what comes out of a person's mouth is what is in that person's heart. If you didn't mean it, why the hell did you say it in the first place? I'm not talking about trivial mistakes we all make when trying to explain non-personal things. I'm talking about matters of the heart. Such as when you're angry at something or someone and you lash out at the nearest person, even if that person is a supposed loved one. That's when words can sear you like a steam burn. Or worse.

I have accidentally steam-burned my fingers from an autoclave at work, so I know how painfully nasty that feels like! %-0 Those burn marks fade, but not emotional burns.

Just yesterday, my mom mentioned she thought she was getting more impatient with people in her later years!

Maybe I am, too. Though I'm not sure that's my way. More precisely, I am growing more intolerant of people with meanness. :-( There's no room for meanness in my life, anymore. I don't want any part of it, which is hard, because I react very strongly to any form of meanness...and in turn, spew back meanness in equal measure. When that occurs, I have just trapped myself in the very thing I want to avoid. Spun myself into the darkest depths of the heart. I get mad at myself for getting mad, and lamely blaming the person for getting mad at me and "making" me mad because s/he got my goat. %-0! Something to work on for sure. I am trying--I feel better when I know I have the will within me to stop and think before I react to something so negative that has the potential to unnerve me...if I let it.

At least my mean spells are only transient, because I've got a good hubby~my bestest friend in the universe, to bring me back to earth, clear my head, and help me be myself again. :-)

You see, if I don't have tolerance of meanness in myself, how would you expect me to have it in others? (flakiness is another character trait I cannot tolerate in myself or others, but that's another subject worthy of a post...another time!)

Thank you kindly for reading my rant. ;-)


“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882), American essayist, philosopher and poet

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...!

To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do.
~Spanish Proverb


Where have I been, you ask? :-0

To save you from asking me questions, I am taking the liberty of imagining that you asking me about my absence for the last several months! ;-)

Where have you been? I began to think you quit blogging!

No way! I've been here on earth the whole time!


Well, four months is an awfully long time not to blog. So what were you doing? You weren't ill, were you?

No, I wasn't ill~had a couple minor medical problems that compelled me do to some extensive research, but laziness was probably the big issue that kept me from writing. And I got even more addicted to Facebook.


You've got all that free time. Must be nice.

Are you being sarcastic? If so, you can save your sarcasm for someone or something else (the toilet). I don't deserve it.


Why do you feel compelled to write such long, mothership posts, and letters?

Because I write like I think and talk. It's like gift-giving: I don't want to write anything I don't care to read ("I walked the dog this morning"), just as I endeavor not to give gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself. Seems to me, writing is becoming ever less important to people~and short, grammatically incorrect sentences seen in Twitter and texting reign supreme now. I thank my lucky stars that I had a few excellent, strict, and unforgiving English teachers from jr. high through my second year in college. They helped set me straight. ;-)

And maybe, I just needed time to clear my head. Or do you call that writer's block? It's a bit of both, I think!


What have your typical days been like?

I wake up and practice yin yoga~often while listening to the radio broadcast of Democracy Now!, then eat my breakfast of oatmeal with ground flax, raw honey, vanilla yogurt, and half a sliced banana, while checking my email. If it is M, W, or F, I get my news blurbs from the Women's Media Center website to my email and scan through the news. Anything that looks interesting, I post it to one of many women's groups I belong to on Facebook (fb), be it politics, business, sports, arts and crafts, music, theatre and film, media and technology, etc. A dear friend I met on fb started those groups that I belong to and made me an "officer" of sorts (partner!), so I feel compelled to share these news stories on these groups. I get anywhere from 15-25 plus stories from the WMC, so it's a good amount to sift through. They used to email me daily, but last month, it became 3x a week.

I find it very liberating to share these stories and occasionally add my two cents' worth. :-)

Sometimes, especially this summer, my father in-law has been bringing in veggies galore each evening. So I wash, cut and freeze them. I'm talking gallon-and-a-pint buckets of tomatoes, banana peppers, squash, eggplants and other veggies. If it is spring or fall, then it's kale. Or strawberries. It takes time (hours) to process all that, so I like to put on an upbeat cd, and blast it while I do that work. I find it very peaceful. What I have yet to do (maybe) is pick all those veggies!

But I have no tolerance for being under the sun. A hot sun makes me hot-headed. You wouldn't want to be around me. I change personality very quickly.

If there's time and weather permits, I go out for a bike ride, either to the library (four miles, one way) or to fil's garden about 6 miles away (one way). The last month, I've gotten extra exercise because the state is rebuilding a little bridge next to my parents in-law's house and have thus closed off the road in front of us, causing everyone to use a long, windy, two to three mile detour. I want to keep my heart and body healthy...cycling is one (fun) way to do it. I hate exercising!

Well, I admit, if it is something I LIKE, then I DO feel better afterwards! Though the other day, when I really had to pedal hard to meet a shuttle bus (made it by 10 seconds to spare!), I realized how out of shape I was, and was limping after the bike ride home!%-0

Oh, lucky us: mil/fil have a small pool here! A dip or swim in the pool after a long ride is very soothing for the muscles...especially at night. Very peaceful.

When the weather is sucky or I need to get away from the computer (!), I read. I read voraciously.



What do you like to read?

Works by women authors from all over the world~because I was only exposed almost exclusively to the great classics by dead white men during my school years, some of whom have become my favorite authors. But if you looked at what I read during jr. and sr. high school and college, you might think there were only a few women in history who ever put their pen to paper! %-0 It's why Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre made such a deep impact on me in 10th grade; it's one of my lifetime favorite novels (read it 3x already). I'm just trying to catch up now and discover the work produced by the female half of humanity~and not necessarily dead ones!

Most especially, I love to read autobiographies and biographies of women of influence and power!:-) Women who were dedicated to improving the lot of women~and people in general, be it suffrage, healthcare, women's rights, business, public policy, education or what have you. I also like reading about women who broke ground in their fields of study, such as Margaret Mead, Marie Curie, and Rachel Carson. Those are the people I want to know about.

I pay particular attention to those who write well, like Simone de Beauvoir, Emma Goldman, Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Ding Ling.


Why do you want to know about them?

Because I want to be like them. They inspire me to stand up for what I believe in. To advocate for what I believe in. To encourage others to think about what I believe in. ;-)


What DO you believe in?

I firmly believe that women are human beings and should be treated as such. And I mean EVERY woman and girl on earth. We are worthy of deserving every opportunity to reach our full potential, of having the right to a basic education~and higher education, if that is what we choose. We are worthy of having access to basic health care~regardless of our socio-economic background, without any governmental or religious body telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. We are deserving of the right to earn our own living, earning the same pay for the same work as our male counterparts, and KEEPING our own salary w/o being obliged to turn it over to another family member or spouse. We are worthy of having the courts mete justice out to those who have broken the law and harmed us, physically or mentally. And we deserve better public policy from our elected representatives to push for more family-friendly work laws that enable us to not have to sacrifice our own sick time to care for another family member when they become ill.

Women and girls are not commodities for the pleasure of the opposite sex. We are not slaves meant for prostitution or human trafficking for hard labor both here and abroad. We do not exist merely for the purpose of society to define us by our sexuality alone: either virgin or slut, pure or soiled. Or whether we open our mouths or not: good girl or bitch. We are human beings!

It seems all that I've mentioned ought to be obvious, but it isn't, to much of the world, including to some here in the United States of America. :-(

As long as sexual exploitation, sexual harrassment, violence against women, and sexism in general is occurring~and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will speak out (or write out) and advocate for the rights of women and girls to be demanded, enforced, and respected.

This is what I believe.


How did you come to be so impassioned about womanny things?

Life experience: observing women in my family, friends, coworkers--and even strangers, suffer needlessly throughout the years from cultural and societal restraints on their person. I.e., obedience to spouse (not reciprocal!), expected decorum, one-way respect (hierarchial), repression of verbal expression, enduring scorn for speaking their mind, suffering in silence for standing up for themselves, discouraged from pursuing their own interests and ambitions~which may conflict directly with the values of their family and community, etc.

What also has influenced me greatly is being an alumna of Mills College, an independent, liberal arts, women's undergraduate college in Oakland, CA. (which also offers graduate degrees to men). My time there awakened me to the issues women face, as well as keeping in touch friends there and quarterly newsletters in the years since graduation.



Do you think you will hold to these same views when you're an old lady?

Yes, of course! I hope that a great many things will improve for women and girls BEFORE I become an old lady and that I wouldn't have to even THINK about their present lot in life. But as long as we are discriminated against because of gender, and are exploited and harassed because of it, then I am ready and willing to stand with all the girls and women of the world who seek justice and respect until we get what we deserve, or until my last breath. Whichever comes first.



What do you plan to do with all this information~all this voracious reading you're consuming?

Foment a women's revolution.

Spread the gospel of social justice.

Keep signing petitions via various organizations on issues that matter to me.

Continue to hammer away at my congressional representatives on any issue that means something to me, via email or petition.


C'mon. Seriously.

Seriously! Why wouldn't I be serious about matters I care about? Yes. SERIOUSLY.



Okaaay.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You'd better watch out...! ;-D



Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human. ~Robin Morgan (1941-), American radical feminist activist, writer, poet, and editor of Sisterhood is Powerful and Ms. Magazine.

Raging Bull!

I am a raging bull, I admit it: I have a bad temper . :-(

I have family and relatives who are temperamental, but I think they are more short-fused than me. Impatient. Easily angered; you never know when they'll explode. Like walking in a minefield...you never know when they'll blow up, but it's a sure-fire guarantee they will, sooner or later. You can be certain of that with each visit.

Not that I'm any better. I'm not.

I'm the simmering volcanic type! I give no warning either, but my explosion might take days, weeks, months, even years to occur. But when Mount Me explodes...watch out! A hot explosion of fury lava will spill forth, leaving nothing in my path. As hubby put it, I leave no prisoners behind. I get the job DONE!%-0

That's how I was this morning, when I discovered mil "took my job". It's anybody's job to wash (really, rinse), chop, and cook the greens from fil's garden to freeze for storage; she's been doing it for decades, unlike me, who's only been assisting her off and on throughout the years. I did most of it yesterday. Washing all these bags of greens--and other vegetables for that matter, does not bother me. Since there is so much (we ended up with five quart-sized bags to freeze!), it takes a few hours to go through. I find a kind of peace doing that work.

So why did I get all worked up over something so trivial this morning? Feel possessive about it? I deeply resent others when they are possessive of me or something or someone else, but I am guilty of doing the same thing! %-0 This is not to say I think she is possessive of that work--I'm only saying that is how I am.

I can't explain it. I just became uncharacteristically LOUD today. Poor hubby was the messenger between the two of us (only because he went over to their kitchen this morning to soak beans) this morning. He said, "Mom's got almost all of the greens washed; she got to it first thing this morning and hasn't eaten yet". She told him she didn't want me to feel burdened.

WHAT?!

No way! I don't mind at all, and had told her so before. Am I stealing her job? ;-0 We'll have to talk! She had complained before it was like a burden sometimes, with fil bringing home veggies all the time...everyday, for her to take care of. Is it cuz she thought something like that should be done in the early morning? What does it matter what time it is done? (Mind you, I did not tell her that I intended to do it today! I fully intended to do it myself...I just didn't communicate that to her. ;-0)


I'm still very much a night owl; I have my peace at night, always have.

But I can work in the morning, too. After all, I spent years starting work at 6 a.m., and then 5 a.m. because we had early birds in the lab. Insanity!



Anyhoo, I stomped, banged pots and pans, and ranted and raved all morning long! Talking loud--almost shouting the whole time in the kitchen, in part because the commercial fridge and freezer are so darn LOUD, and we turn the radio on loud to drown out the fridge sounds. Hubby certainly didn't have trouble hearing me this morning, while I bagged up the blanched curly kale for the freezer.

My mind was, and is, racing! Hubby calls me a restless spirit on an endless flight (from the Eagle's song. Even with all my ranting, hubby was still loving toward me! Wasn't quite sure what to do with his raving woman who couldn't calm down, though! %-0 He told me to go exercise.

I took my fury out on my bike roller. I was SO RAGING angry, I kept up a maddening pace of 80 rpm (revolutions per minute) for most of the 25 minutes I rolled, even on 2nd gear! Racy symphonic music blasting away helped! I raged and rolled on the bike until after my neck was sopping wet with sweat, and salty sweat got in my eyes and rolled down my nose! %-0

Mil likes working and being outside MUCH better, I think, especially on bright sunny days. It doesn't matter much to me: I'm happy indoors. I don't like, or allow, Mother Nature to dictate my life, but...don't get ME in the hot sun or my tongue will be hotter than the sun itself! %-0

I'll sure we can arrive at an easy understanding...we always have. :-)


In the meantime, I have to work out my RAGE.

Before I went over to help hubby, I put on a cd of Dimitry Shostakovich's louder compositions; I put the volume on as loud as I could stand it. I love his work...it's very intense, often dark and tormented. I can relate to it extremely well!

Cycling on the rollers helped a great deal. It's better than saying unpleasant, hurtful words and verbally stabbing someone forever, isn't it? I can dissipate my boiling anger and build up some leggie muscles at the same time! ;-)

Of course, I was mostly mad that I even got mad, in the first place! Such a trivial matter, washing vegetables!

There are other things that I rage over, such as social injustices, misogyny, etc. That's when I try to cycle my rage away. Pretend I'm rolling over the baddies who take advantage of others, or who try to control the female half of humanity through violence, cultural traditions or laws, or who publicly spew out misogynistic, dumb chatter that demeans, dehumanizes, and perpetuates backward thinking about women.

Doing a lot of reading calms me down. :-) It helps me think more clearly. I LOVE to read works by women who have stood up and out against unjust treatment of women, and of more vulnerable members of society. The more outspoken and brave they were (and are), the more I am inspired by their chutzpah. :-) They are whom I admire, and are the ones who will help me channel my rage.

Alice! Simone! Emma! And all those whom I've yet to discover: sock it (your words of wisdom) to me!! I'm ready to devour your words, to let them nourish and saturate my mind and heart. :-)

I have A LOT of reading to do!...



p.s. #1: I did see the movie Raging Bull...but hopefully, I won't end up being a broken, boozy, overweight, lousy nightclub act! ;-0

p.s. #2: OF COURSE mil and I are friends! I made a mountain out of a molehill! She told me she didn't want me to think she was going to leave all the work to me! I love her! Do I have something going on biologically? Did I not get enough sleep (which can make me unruly and cranky!)?

It's International Women's Day '09!

March 8th is International Women's Day!

According to the IWD website, IWD is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.

IWD is a national holiday in:China, Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. SOMEBODY, or some bodies (!), had a clue in those countries! :-)

Not here. Not yet, anyway. The USA has no official holiday celebrating great women in herstory. March by the way, is Women's History Month, in case you didn't know.

We have holidays here in the USA to commemorate great men: George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, Jr. But no women!

Why?

Some might say, well, there's Mother's Day. That is important: I certainly respect mothers because I feel they are most often the glue that holds a family together, and they do SO much for so little in return. I tend to gravitate toward mom-like women and friends. They bring help bring life into the world and are the primary caretakers as we grow up. I know I could not have thrived without my mom's love and nuturing. :-)

But Mother's Day is not a paid, federal holiday. Perhaps people already feel we have the day off anyway, as Mother's Day falls on a Sunday.

What about all the other women--women who are not mothers, by choice or circumstance or whatever? Are we less worthy as women--as human beings, if we have not brought life into the world? Surely NOT! %-0

How about women who have made and continue to make great contributions to society: scientists, educators, environmentalists, physicians, nurses, community leaders, spiritual leaders, artists, writers, musicians, and activists who work hard to bring awareness of social injustices and improvements to ameliorate the suffering of others, just to name a few? The underpaid, overworked, and sometimes abused domestic workers? The many women tucked away and forgotten in nursing homes across the country? .

Who would I offer up as a candidate or two or more for the nation to celebrate and commemorate--worthy of having the country take a day off (and be paid!) in her honor?

I can think of some:

• Harriet Tubman: (c. 1820–1913) African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the American Civil War.
• Eleanor Roosevelt: (1884-1962) First Lady of the US (1933-45), civil rights advocate, internationally prominent author, speaker, politician, and activist for the New Deal coalition.
• Jane Addams: (1860-1935) founder of the U.S. Settlement House Nobel Peace Prize and one of the first American women to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
• Rosa Parks: (1913-2005) African American civil rights activist whom the U.S. Congress later called "Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement".
• Susan B. Anthony: (1820-1906) prominent American civil rights leader who played a pivotal role in the 19th century women's rights movement to introduce women's suffrage into the United States.

That's just a start. I know there's many more. The lifelong work of those women alone are worthy of historical note alone. It's HERstory!


Imagine this: national holiday to commemorate a prominent woman (or more) AND a national holiday to celebrate International Women's Day!! Wouldn't that be fabulous? :-D

I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. :-(

Sure, most people know women make up half the population, but they sure don't appreciate that fact via apathy toward violence against women, unequal pay for equal work, and myriad of other woman-unfriendly facts of life.

But I can still hope. Hope that the misogynists of the world--in particular, the religious ones who would keep girls and women brainless and backward, would realize that their hateful, narrow, controlling view of women is only keeping humanity from moving forward.


As long as there are injustices committed against women both here and abroad, and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will continue to stand up for women's rights. Women's rights are human rights. Period.

I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive one!



Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.

~Emily Dickinson, (1830-1886) American poet

Snot Kiss...Slobber Kiss...Kiss Kiss :-)

Kiss: The anatomical juxtaposition
of two orbicularis oris muscles
in a state of contraction.

--Henry Gibbons, Sr., MD (1808-1884)





Last night, my 20 month-old nephew gave me a snot kiss. His nose was running. Clear liquid running between his nose to his lips. But I don't see him often...and he's awfully cute, easy-going, and easily loveable. So how could I deny him his gesture of affection toward me?

I couldn't! Isn't that love? :-)

I did, however wipe my mouth afterwards. Sorry kiddo!

Earlier during the evening, he gave me a couple of kisses--but they were only quasi-snot kisses: his nose was wet, but the liquid wasn't flowing...yet. It's difficult for me to refuse kisses from love-y little people, especially when they are relatives!

Yesterday, I played with my father in-law's dog. He came close to giving me a slobber kiss. He's a real funny dog (still a puppy) and inspires me to be carefree; however, as cute as I think he is--petting him, playing with him, and rubbing his belly is good love from me. I'm not into dog kissing, as in: you can lick my face or limbs all you want, and it's a wonderful thing.

No, it isn't.

Fil's (father in-law) dog is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. An outside dog to the bone. Dog lovers say dogs are clean (in response to those who are horrified by the thought of a dog licking their face). My question to them is: do they really know where their dog has been, and what it has sniffed, touched, and eaten?

I have witnessed fil's dogs in the past (and present) munching on a large pile of chicken shit on the edge of a tractor, or picking up a nice oblong piece of deer turd in the woods on a freezing cold day. Does it taste delicious to them? I'm guessing it might, having observed the excitement with which they go after it, but I wouldn't want to be a canine for the purposes of discovering the culinary delights of another creature's shit.

I do, however, think I possess a doggy-like nose, which I have written about in the past. Dogs have a powerful olfactory sense; so do I! Which leads me back to slobbery dog kisses: dog breath or a wet doggy is a fast turn off. I don't know where you've been and I don't want to know! I still like you, but I can do without the kisses, thank you very much. :-) Woof!

The best kisses, of course, come from my honey! :-)) No runny nose, no bad breath...though it happens to both of us on occasion. I won't go into detail, but all I have to say is:

life is good if you can exchange good kisses with your life partner, in good times as well as in not-so-good times. :-)

I love kisses (except from four-legged creatures)!



Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.

--Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), English Romantic Poet, Prometheus Unbound

Oh, My Aching Leggies!

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning. There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. He saw a pack of stones to pass time. He started throwing the stone into the sea. While having the last stone in the hand,
the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond. He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea...
Moral of the story: *********************

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Do not get up early in the morning...


Hee hee hee
Cheers :)

(email from a friend in India)



I couldn't wake up this morning! %-0

No, that's not true, else you wouldn't be reading this, but I did have a terrible time of it this morning. At first I thought the reason was because our new blinds (cheap roller blinds from Wal-Mart) were still down, preventing the bright morning sun from waking me up. We bought them for privacy, and they sure do block out the light at night and in the morning. And I seem to have been sleeping more deeply, or "harder" since we got them last week. Nor do I like to crawl out from under my wool blanket and down comforter in the morning--it's SO cozy. :-)

I still felt spent, this morning. I didn't even exercise yesterday!

Hubby says it's because all my rolling is catching up with me. I did it four days in a row this week. And I moved my time up from 25 minutes a session last week to 35+ minutes this week.

What is rolling, you ask?

It's my/our new exercise this year: we bought a CycleOps Bicycle Roller to improve our balance and make us better bicyclists. It is an apparatus with three aluminum rollers and a belt; you set your bicycle on top and start cycling. Some describe as akin to riding on black ice! But if you're a newbie, like us, then you ought to start training between a narrow doorway, so that when you start sliding side to side, you won't fall off to the side. This is no stationary bike trainer--you really have to concentrate so you won't roll all over the place.

We love it! I love it! There are only 18 gears on my bicycle! ;-0 I've comfortably reached 4th gear after five weeks! %-) Maybe next week I can make it to 5th gear. Hubby's got 15 gears on his bike, but he can ride on that highest gear. Then again, he's got MUCH more experience of bicycling than me. I wonder where I'll be this time next year?

My leggies are still feeling tingly, like I put them through something fierce. My knees are warm. I'm creating a new set of leggies: tree-trunk leggies (scaled to my thin frame)! Blasting our favorite classical music radio station while I'm rolling helps a great deal, too. :-)

I've written before that I am NOT an athletically inclined person. I mean, p.e. was the trauma of my school years! Last one picked for a team, every single time, every day, every week, every year, first grade through tenth grade. (P.E. not required after sophomore year...yay!) One p.e. teacher in jr. high made me stay after class once because she apparently couldn't believe that I couldn't do the gymnastic type exercises that all the other kids could. Was I not trying hard enough? Let's try again after class, she suggested. I'd like to think she meant well, but she did a pretty fine job of making me feel like I was defective. :-((

I suppose I should be grateful I grew up in an era when p.e. was still mandatory in school, at least through 10th grade. Now that it seems to be barely existing in many schools, kids are becoming obese. I would hope that whoever teaches physical education these days is more sensitive to kids who are genuinely not athletically inclined, and would be encouraging to them, rather than make them feel like freaks--in part by condoning nasty behavior from other students who would inflate their own egos by verbally downsizing the klutzes in their class.

It wasn't until I signed up for taekwondo that my spirit was lifted from the ashes of turbulent years of p.e.! Yes! I have a real body! Yes! I can make it do things I never thought it could! Yes! Getting fit doesn't have to be a miserable chore! And yes! I earned my coveted black belt! :-D

I'd like go back to it someday, as I very much loved it: it was fun, enjoyable, and helped fulfill my early martial arts fantasies from earlier days (nights!) of watching badly dubbed kung fu flicks from Hong Kong! But as we live in the sticks now, I have found other ways to keep fit.

Miraculously, I've kept to my yin yoga every morning when I wake up (well, after I put my contact lenses in!) since I started last fall. I even practiced at the airports we camped out at during our Xmas vacation last year! Keeping to an exercise regimen more than a couple days is a phenomenon in my life! Stretching every morning is very calming for me.

And rolling? "Thirty five minutes a day keeps the doctor away." ;-) I'm not an apple person, so I can't say, "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away". I'd rather the fruit be a banana, papaya or fig! We have a book: The Wellness Guide to Lifelong Fitness, by the editors of the University of California at Berkeley WELLNESS LETTER. Of course, we got it used, but it's a good reference guide.

In the cycling section, it mentions you should aim for 45-60 minutes at least three times a week. Uh oh, I thought: I've got a ways to go! But maybe 35-40 minutes 5-6 times a week is just as good? Oh, and add a "leisurely" (their words) 20-30 MILE ride on the weekends!! %-0

I was being too dogmatic in the beginning, thinking I should stick to three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. But then, things came up on those days, and I wouldn't exercise. Did I think the world would come to an end? Of course not! (only if certain political figures came to power, then I might think so! ;-0) So I just try to go with the flow: roll a few days in a row, take one day off, roll again a couple days, take a day off. Doesn't matter. If I can roll a minimum five days a week, I feel like I'm doing something to strengthen my heart and legs. Six days would be my ideal goal.

Since I did it four days in a row this week, maybe that's why I was so tired yesterday, and decided to take a day off. My mind repeated the Nike motto: just do it! My leggies screamed, "Gimme a break, will you?" I think a lot of this is about listening to your body and deciding whether you want to challenge yourself, especially if you're not in the mood, or, if your mind and body were saying two different things to you, as mine was yesterday, whether to be a martyr and push your limits even though you knew your body wasn't quite up to it.

I'm not into martyrdom!

I started doing push-ups again. I used to do them all the time in my taekwondo class. It was embarrassing to me how much trouble I had, doing it yesterday! %-0 Out of shape! I don't like to be so out-of-shape and weak. It's an exhilarating feeling to feel like you're on top of the world after a good workout, rather than stewing in gloom and doom because you can't get your butt off a chair or couch, due to indecision: should I exercise? or not? ;-0

Getting motivated is the first step. Easier said than done when I'm buried beneath warm covers and the blinds are down! I've got yoga and bicycle rollers to entice me now. :-)