Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turned one year younger today! ;-) According to Wikipedia,

Age may refer to:

The length of time that an organism has lived:

• aging, for the social, cultural, and economic factors of age and aging.
• senescence, for the biology and science of aging.

A period of history:

• list of time periods
• three-age system
• geologic timescale
• astrological age

Other:

• Age, Mie, a district in Japan
• Agé, a god from the mythology of the Fon people; the son of Mawu-Lisa;
• One of the D'ni Ages, the fictional universe in the Myst series of games.
• Agenore Incrocci, an Italian screenwriter.
• Age (Model theory), the class of all finitely generated structures which are embeddable in a structure A in mathematics.
• âge Japanese company
• The Age is a daily newspaper published in Melbourne, Australia.

AGE is a three-letter acronym that may refer to:

• Advanced Genealogical Exploration Services, an internet genealogy family tree service
• Advanced glycation endproduct, a class of spontaneously modified molecules whose modification begins with an initial glycation
• A. G. Edwards, a brokerage firm
• Agarose gel electrophoresis, a method used in molecular biology
• American Aging Association (abbreviated AGE, although not an acronym)
• Applied general equilibrium
• Arterial gas embolism
• Agricultural & General Engineers, a group of companies
• Assemblée générale des Étudiants des FUNDP, a Belgian student association

I had no idea AGE had so many meanings!

I don't feel my age. I don't think I ever have! It's only a number to me.


What makes some people young at heart, and others, not?

I don't know, but I want to be young at heart; I don't worry about the others who aren't!

When are you really old?

Past 100! Or when YOU think you're really old. :-(

Where is it written that you are supposed to act in such-and-such way at any given age?

Nowhere to my knowledge. Maybe in child-rearing advice books?

To my mind, when you're an adult and other adults may be disdainful of your youthful ways, I think that they're probably too locked in their thinking and acceptance of societal expectations. And perhaps too afraid to be themselves. ;-)

Why do people--especially those younger than me, talk like they're old farts when they're not?

Who knows! They've already aged themselves! And since they think they're old, they'll start acting old, and people will treat them as such.

How do you age gracefully?

Laugh a lot and hang around those who make you laugh. ;-D And try to do the common sense stuff like eating healthy and exercising.

There you have it: my Q & A pearls of wisdom! :-)


A dear friend emailed me this piece from comedian George Carlin recently and I'd like to share it here.


George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' *'*I'm four *and a half!' *You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm *gonna be *16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You *become* 21. Even
the words sound like a ceremony. *YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! *

But then you* turn *30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You *BECOME *21, you *TURN *30, then you're *PUSHING* 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you *REACH* 50 and your
dreams are gone.*

But wait!!! *You *MAKE it *to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you *BECOME* 21, *TURN* 30, *PUSH *40, *REACH *50 and *MAKE it *to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you *HIT* 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You *get into *your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
you start going backwards; 'I *Was JUST *92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! *
________________________________________________

Back to me...

There's more, but I'll save it for another time!

I told someone once that I was OLD. That was not the right thing to say, since I knew in my heart it wasn't true! At the very least, I could have said I was oldER.


It's only a number, it's only a number...age! I'm not getting older. I'm getting BETTER! That's what my birthday card from my dearest friend said, this year. :-)


* * * * *
Indian Summer

In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad, To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know, And do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you!

--Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

International Women's Day is TODAY!

Mother Nature is howling outside. Up to 40 mph, according to weather.com. Or 65 mph, if I am to believe the radio announcer.

Methinks it's a sign that she's not altogether pleased with the status of women around the world today. ;-0

And today, March 8, is International Women's Day: "the global day connecting all women around the world and inspiring them to achieve their full potential. IWD celebrates the collective power of women past, present and future."

Oh, I know it's wishful thinking on my part to connect Mother Nature's whims and the status of women, but I find it fitting and convenient on this important day. A day where we can celebrate the women in our lives and the many strides women have made the world over, as well as to be acutely aware of the injustices committed against women, often with impunity.

I think about my mom and my sister, who have given me so much love and guidance in my life (even if sometimes didn't appreciate it at the time!). I appreciate that they continue to share with me their wisdom, humor, sorrow and everything in between. And I know that I have derived some of my inner strength from them, having watched them endure some of their own struggles while I was growing up. I only have one mom and one sister, so, I don't want to share with you too much how special they are, lest I make anyone abnormally envious. ;-)

Mom and sis, cheers to YOU!

And while I'm at it, let me say cheers to my mil and sils, too. :-)

IWD is an official holiday in some countries: Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. According to the IWD webpage, "The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers."

I didn't even know this day of recognition for women existed until last year! Worldwide, from Africa, Asia, Europe, the Middle East and across America, there have been all sorts of events to celebrate the achievements of women, and also recognize the need for women to have equal access to education, work, pay, legal and basic human rights.

Violence against women is the main thing that makes my blood boil. It's something I've seen and experienced myself (if you include verbal abuse). It pierces my heart and makes me cry every time I hear or read something on the news about women being violated. :-( Doesn't matter if it's the hundreds of thousands of women who have been raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo or a college student who was attacked near the university a mile away...it's a violation against humanity. One act of violence affects not only the victim, but those around her: family, friends, and community.

You may recall in another post that many years ago I had befriended a woman who had been raped at gunpoint while in college. I observed how she and her family interacted with each other, as well as how she interacted with my friends, who tried to be a friend to her. In a nutshell, it seemed always to be an uneasy relationship with all involved; we just never knew when she was going to explode. I don't know that all rape victims respond to life the same as she did, but I realized how an act of violence on just one person can adversely affect everyone around her. :-(

During the 2000 census, the United Nations Population Fund published a sobering report on Violence on Women and Girls and recognized it as a major health and human rights concern. These issues of gender-based violence and all that it wreaks upon the lives of women still exist, unfortunately; otherwise, they would not need to be mentioned anymore.

On a brighter note, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon last month launched a multi-year campaign to end violence against women. :-) Moreover, at the UN commemoration of International Women's Day, he called for greater investment in women and girls (IWD's theme this year) to help further economic growth and advance development. He sounds like forward-thinking leader...I hope so.

Women are half of humanity! I love reading about women in power and/or of influence, which may include writers and artists. :-)

The women in history whose biographies and autobiographies I've read have struck a chord within me; they were independent-minded and often went against the grain--they defied societal expectations and trusted their gut in pursuing their goals. For that, I admire them greatly.

I've read about many influential women over the years, and am sure to read many more in my entire lifetime. :-) The women who have made a deep and lasting impression on me are: Hildegard of Bingen, Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, and most recently--Simone de Beauvoir (my favorite!).

I'll bet there's a Simone, Hildegard, Harriet and an Eleanor lurking in the shadows of the oppressed women and girls on this planet Earth who are starving for an education. They deserve to have basic human rights, legal rights, educational and work opportunities, and freedom from fear of violence with impunity, as many women in the western world enjoy today. They deserve to have choices. Their leaders and communities just haven't given them a chance...yet.

May it be in my lifetime. :-)

Cheers to all the women of the world, wherever you are!


* * * * *

The Laughter Of Women by Lisel Mueller

The laughter of women sets fire
to the Halls of Injustice
and the false evidence burns
to a beautiful white lightness

It rattles the Chambers of Congress
and forces the windows wide open
so the fatuous speeches can fly out

The laughter of women wipes the mist
from the spectacles of the old;
it infects them with a happy flu
and they laugh as if they were young again

Prisoners held in underground cells
imagine that they see daylight
when they remember the laughter of women

It runs across water that divides,
and reconciles two unfriendly shores
like flares that signal the news to each other

What a language it is, the laughter of women,
high-flying and subversive.
Long before law and scripture
we heard the laughter, we understood freedom.

How to Deal with Nasty Neighbors?

We've been blessed with obnoxious neighbors.

They live below us and have likely raised booming their repetitive music to an art form: they've caused our apartment and its furnishings to VIBRATE. :-(

You know the volume of someone's music must be high if you can feel vibrations through your computer KEYBOARD, as well as feel vibrations through your SHOES while you're standing in the kitchen and it's being boomed from their bedroom!

One warning from the police--who we haven't called...yet, hasn't scared them from causing further disturbances. Nor have several formal complaints filed by us through the apartment management office dissuaded them.


WHY do people feel the need to blast their noise for the whole world to hear? And to KEEP doing it in retailiation for each complaint lodged against them? It's RUDE, and quite immature, to put it mildly. :-(

We have asked them three times in person to please lower the volume. The first time hubby approached them, they were very hostile, which helped to establish in our minds that these people may be dangerous to deal with.

He was greeted with, "Why do you have to knock on the door like the PO-leece?" (Because you had your music blasting so loud, I had to repeatedly bang on your door, dumbass!) Oh? They know how the police knock on their door, do they?

I think they must regularly fry their noodles with something nasty. Hence, our hesitation to call the cops on them, though we were sorely tempted the other night (we called the office instead); they might have a worse retaliation in mind than annoying us with loud music to vibrate our walls. I've had to deal with druggies before in a customer service setting, next to a subway station no less. They're menacing and unpredictable.

Normal people apologize and try not to disturb their neighbors again. Our neighbors living below us don't give a shit.

I would have liked to have seen their faces when the two "PO-leece" officers knocked on their door a couple of weeks ago! At that moment, their music was blasting through the whole building, probably in response to our third formal complaint. Perfect timing! And it was the maintenance man who called someone to call the police on them. He had even less tolerance for the racket than we did...and he told me he left the front door to the apartment building open so the police could come right in. ;-)

The second time we knocked on their door, a different person answered. Maybe a friend of theirs? He wasn't hostile like the other two, and they DID lower the volume, as it was 1 a.m., way past the 10:30 p.m. deadline for loud noises. The third time--which was after we left a note, the bitch half of the couple answered, and was, of course, hostile. Her gorilla partner is equally unapproachable.

They weren't so bad when they moved in last summer. And they stopped playing loud music late in the evenings last fall. But now, they really just don't give a flying fig, and I'm sure they would dance gleefully if we were to move out in disgust.

However, we've been here nearly five years. Much longer than them.

This evening, when they began to play their game of blasting the same music they've played since last summer, for who knows how long (sometimes its 20-30-40-50 or more minutes), hubby got fed up and left to go the university computer lab to concentrate. I stayed put, feeling indignant, because I believe that WE should not feel compelled to leave our home. WE didn't do anything wrong...they're the ones who are causing unnecessary disturbances.

Besides, I was BOILING inside, intending to write a seething, scathing, vitriolic post on our inconsiderate neighbors!

Wouldn't you know it: they stopped about 10 minutes after hubby left. I emailed him to say they had stopped...for now. He ended up coming home an hour later, before he even read my email. :-)

And now, a new development has occurred this week: construction sounds past 10:30 p.m. Yes! Drilling and hammering! Did they think we needed some variety? :-(

I suppose most everyone has an annoying neighbor, to varying degrees. At present, we're just trying to follow office procedures and build a paper trail, to cover our butts. In our most recent complaint to the apartment management, we stated very clearly that if this matter wasn't resolved within a month, we would begin looking for another community to live in, in our city.

The day after, as expected, the assholes below us had their noise thumping, so we called the office, put the phone receiver to the floor, and let the office staff person share our (almost) daily joy. She was shocked. Then she told us what we could do next, since we called saying we wanted to move.

Write a letter to management stating your intention (moving) and reason (unresolved issue with neighbors), she told us, then management will have you come in for a meeting to negotiate options. Like what? Moving US to another of their apartments? I don't think so! WE are acutely aware of the penalties of leaving before our lease is up; however, they'd better come up with something reasonable or they'll lose a loyal tenant when they're already desperate to fill spaces. And they know it.

We haven't written THE LETTER yet. We're waiting for just the right dramatic moment from the dimwit occupants below us before we pounce on them and management in one lucid letter.

Last fall, hubby blasted some twangy country music he thought they'd likely hate (given the stuff they boom to us), and put the radio speakers toward the floor! I don't think it had much effect on them, since I'm sure they have a much better sound system than we could ever care to have. But it was amusing at the time. :-)

I was thinking I wanted to make up a Top Ten list of ways to annoy your neighbors, in the spirit of David Letterman, but I can't come up with ten things to really irritate the alien invaders who live below us.

Besides, now I'm thinking about a huge billboard I saw on Maryland's eastern shore that quoted the words of Mahatma Ghandi:

An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind.

Maybe someday somebody can invent a spray that will eliminate obnoxious sounds, the way you can disinfect the air from obnoxious odors!

Wouldn't that be nifty?

Pssft.

Oh, it's quiet and peaceful now, thank God! ;-)

Happy Mush Day!

(otherwise known as Valentine's Day :-))

What IS mush, anyway?

According to Wikipedia, it can be defined as:

• Mush (cornmeal), a kind of corn pudding or porridge
• Mush, slang meaning man or face.
• Mushing, a sport or transport method powered by dogs or a command to a dog team
• Muş Province, in eastern Turkey
• Muş, the provincial capital of Muş Province
• Mush, a 1992 album by the band Leatherface
• Mush Records, a Los Angeles-based independent record label
• Mush, a nickname for Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf
• Mail User's Shell, a Unix mail user agent
• MUSH, a text-based online social medium

Or, how my body has been feeling the last two weeks due to a nasty cold and the worst sore throat of my life. :-(

But those definitions are not what I prefer.

Mush, according to me, is lovey-dovey stuff. Anything romantic, super sweet, sentimental, tear-jerker quality...you get the idea.

I am a MUSHMEISTER! :-D

So on this mushy day, a.k.a. Valentine's Day, I dedicate this post to mush and things mushy, because I am a die-hard mushmeister and proud of it, too.

Others may wince, roll their eyes, spew out sarcastic remarks, or worse, at my melting heart tendencies, but do I care? Of course not! I have to remind myself from time to time that life is too short to worry about other people's opinions of me.

Hubby will always tease me if he catches me getting emotional during certain scenes in a movie, and I will blurt out: "Leave me alone!". I can't help it: I love romantic things!

Now, I do have my limits, such as with certain romance novels which I may find cheaply mass-produced, with little or no substance.

That's why I love classics. Like the works of Shakespeare, as well as the works of the artists, poets, novelists and composers who were part of the romanticism movement of the 18th and 19th centuries. Their words, music, and art can take your imagination to great heights, great places! They certainly have been--and continue to be, a source of comfort and joy to me. :-)

Mush can be a syrupy sweet photo of puppy dogs or kittens or (my fave) baby panda bears. Mush can be a photo of cute babies. Mush doesn't have to be a photo at all. It can be seeing two lovebirds walk past you.

Spontaneous mush is best! I'm not into the contrived sort where little pets (human and otherwise) are dressed up for a studio portrait. Then again, something like movies are a contrived medium. I'd say anything that can make my heart swell or make my eyes well up is mushY!

My top three mush movies? "It's A Wonderful Life", "The Sound of Music" and "Annie Hall". The last one isn't particularly outwardly syrupy, but it's still romantic, regardless of what you think of Woody Allen movies.

And my top mush novels: Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, and Middlemarch.

How about mushy men? I hope that's not oxymoronic--men tend not to be mushy...I've yet to meet one, though not being mushy doesn't dictate that one can't be affected by an emotional scene! I'm talking about leading men on the silver screen who make women swoon from imagined love and lord knows what else.

My favorite: Sean Connery (yes, I'm a Bond junkie). There's others, but I can't think of them now...they come and go!

Mush is best shared with a significant other! It's somewhat alien to my honey, but he knows it's part of me and I'm here to stay...so there--take it or leave it, dude. ;-b What man in his right mind would resist showers of MUSH on Valentine's Day, anyway? Lots of love and kisses go a long way. You don't need a special day to spread your mush!

Just so I don't forget to tell you: I love that other "mush", too. The one called oatmeal. I have it every morning with ground flaxseed and vanilla yogurt. Helps keep me healthy.

So you see, MUSH and "mush" are both really good for your heart and health. :-)

Here's to mush--plus more than enough to last several lifetimes in your lifetime!

* * * * *

Oh Lift Me!

Oh lift me from the grass!
I die! I faint! I fail!
Let thy love and kisses rain
On my lips and eyelids pale.
My cheek is cold and white, alas!
My heart beats loud and fast:~
Oh! Press it to thine own again,
Where it will break at last.

--Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792-1822

Beauty Rest

It is very peaceful to be up in the early morning hours. No noise downstairs or outside! But truth be told, I am NOT a morning person! %-0 I have more peace at night.

The only reason I'm up and writing at 7 something on a SUNDAY morning is because I was sick last night with pain and nausea and went to bed early.

I know that it is possible to get TOO much sleep. I'd rather get too much than too little! Recent studies have shown that lack of sleep doubles the risk of death from cardiovascular disease and increases the risk for weight gain, hypertension, and Type 2 diabetes. Then again, too much sleep can also double the risk of death...but fewer studies have been done on too much sleep and risk factors. I'd rather err on the too much sleep side! ;-D

And I'm sure you've heard of reports on studies that demonstrated that cognitive performance declines with fewer than eight hours of sleep?

Beauty rest is essential to healthy living! I'm all for healthy living!

I know I mentioned sleep in another post last year, but it's very important to me!


If I don't get my BR (as hubby likes to call beauty rest), I can be reeeeealllly cranky. I had an acquaintance long ago who stayed the night with us and the next morning, for whatever reason, she became Queen Bitch! %-( Snapped at me and my honey! After that visit, I vowed to not be like that, ever! Were we supposed to cut her some slack just because she was a single mom, had been raped at gunpoint in college (in my hometown!) and was daily stressed because of her history and a crazy ex-husband bothering her beyond compare? I didn't think so and I called her on it, too.

It wasn't the first time she snapped at me...and I do think she had gotten as much sleep as we did! Sure, I felt bad for her and her situation, even took time off from work to accompany her to court, but I wasn't the right person to help her out. Eventually, I came to dread her calls and slowly extracted her from my life because she abused our friendship, and despite repeated (empty) apologies, never made amends to stop using me or other people around her as her punching bag when she was frustrated. She completely exhausted me and gave me a reason to run to my cozy bed.

I'm a wild sleeper! When I wake up, the blankets are twisted as if a tornado had gone through our room! But my honey is very peaceful, like my mom. So much so that it scares me once in a while because they both are so STILL, reminding me of how dead people look in their coffin. :-( Even as I gaze upon my honey now, entering his 40th year today (!), he looks very calm lying there under our comforter. :-)

It's very rare that the blankets are smooth when I wake up. I forget I caused it and then when nighttime rolls around, I look at the twisted sheet and blanket and wonder aloud: how did this happen?

Okay, so now I just confessed I don't make the bed. All we have is our comforter, flat sheet, bed sheet and king sized pillow. I used to have a bed cover, but it's in storage. The comforter IS our bedspread! Just cover the bed with it and it looks fine! Sometimes I fold up the blanket like I did when we grew up. No fancy bedcover and pillows--we never had any of that. Mil has always had that, so it takes me a while to make the bed when we visit her--as in a half dozen fancy pillows to throw on top of the bed to make it look pretty and proper.

I've done a lot of sleeping on public transportation in my young life: on planes, trains, and buses. I've even ended up in another city because I fell asleep on the subway train! %-0 I need to get myself a neck pillow because I always end up with a sore neck. And I have missed my stop a few times from snoozing on the bus. What's another few blocks to walk?

Some friends have told me they can't sleep anywhere comfortably except their own home. Maybe they haven't traveled enough? I don't care! I've slept in a roomful of strangers both here and abroad--and not just for one night, but several. If I'm sleepy, I don't intend to deprive myself of much needed beauty rest!

Let's see where else I've snoozed: airports, classrooms (uh oh!), campgrounds, homes of friends or relatives of friends whom I didnt know from Adam, and in another home in another city, via a domestic AFS (American Field Service) weekend exchange that felt more alien than being halfway around the world.

As long as I get my sleep, I'm a happy camper. :-) If not...be careful! ;-0

I'm also incapable of taking short naps. Mine are mega naps--at least an hour. Two is better! When I'm out, I'm OUT! The other day, I took a 20 minute nap, which is miraculous. Hubby can take a five minute nap and feel refreshed. Not me.

How about you?

Without sleep, I wouldn't have fantastic, vivid technicolor dreams to report to my man. Or to myself. Dreams where people from my past and present collide, dreams where characters from movies are chasing me instead of the characters from the film, dreams about other people I've never met--or creatures I've never met, dreams of myself inserted into futuristic scenes that came out of a movie I saw recently, dreams of my family members or relatives doing strange things, or dreams of myself being on the world stage (doing something worthy to benefit humanity)! :-)

How else would I enter an idyllic or fantasy world without sleep? It's a fun, often bizarre, and sometimes nightmarish place to go...and that can make waking up a good thing. But I usually have a terrible time waking up, regardless of how little or how much sleep I got. I like my sleep.

I love my sleep! ;-)

* * * * * * * *

A Long, Long Sleep, a Famous Sleep

A long, long sleep, a famous sleep
That makes no show for dawn
By stretch of limb or stir of lid, --
An independent one.

Was ever idleness like this?
Within a hut of stone
To bask the centuries away
Nor once look up for noon?

--Emily Dickinson

Happy 100th Birthday, Simone de Beauvoir!

I remained faithful to my declared intention of turning all that life imposed on me to my own purposes.

--from The Prime of Life, by Simone de Beauvoir




Today is your 100th birthday, Simone! Joyeux anniversaire!

How I wish you were alive today. I will write this as if you are, because I feel you are alive, in spirit. In my mind and in my soul. :-)

In the last six months, since I began reading the first volume of your autobiographies, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, you have possessed me.

Revolutionized my thinking. Caused me to want to read everything you wrote. Deepened my convictions about the need for gender equality. Broadened my understanding of the place of women in history as well as what it means to be a woman. Convinced me of the importance of lifelong study of issues important to me, thus becoming more strongly independent-minded. Inspired me to not be afraid of anything: go after what I believe in, go after what I want, and not be bothered by what other people think...to keep an open, inquiring mind.

You have ignited my passion concerning women's issues!

I have been inspired by some great male thinkers in history, but to feel energized by a great female thinker and doer such as yourself brings inspiration to a whole new dimension! Men cannot hope to understand everything, especially about women--because they are not women! The world needs more women like you.

I hope that there will come a day in my lifetime that women such as yourself will not be a rarity. That the bright women today are no longer hidden in the masses. When both women and men will respect brilliant women and be inspired by them, not threatened or intimidated by them. Nor be reduced to saying stupid, sarcastic, and offensive things about women who have their own mind. Things like: a woman is something less of a woman if she is not a mother, doesn't have a man in her life, or has too much ambition in her career pursuits. Or that she must be frigid because of any of the aforementioned things.

Things haven't changed that much for women since The Second Sex published nearly 60 years ago, or maybe even the last 22 years since you departed this earth. Sure, there have been improvements in varying degrees, especially since the feminist movement of the 70's. But it's not enough. If it were, we wouldn't have the problems tied to gender inequality we have today that have been around for a long time: domestic violence, violence against women with impunity, the spread of AIDS--especially among women and girls in developing countries, sex trafficking, pay inequality, etc.

Research shows that gender inequality is the root of many ages-old and newer problems mentioned above. Anyone can find detailed information on this on the internet; the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) is a great place to start, and discover what research leading to progressive policy changes is happening around the world today.

I have become obsessed now with reading everything you wrote! I hope to accomplish this in 2008...you were quite prolific! Few writers have had the effect of causing me to want to read everything they wrote, so consider yourself lucky. ;-) A few of them you've read: Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, and Dickens, and Shakespeare. I've read all but one of the first's popular novels, the two major ones of the second, and working on the third, thanks to a recent Christmas gift from my dear mother in-law. The last, I also love, but I consider him the most challenging, so I don't feel as time-pressed to read everything!

The other writer you probably don't know, since most of her work was published after your passing: Banana Yoshimoto, from Japan. The only person whose work I've read entirely thus far. It's only fitting that she's a woman, isn't it? Women first! ;-)


So far, I've read your first two autobiographical volumes, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter (which got me hooked on your work from the start) and The Prime of Life (which hooked me even more), The Ethics of Ambiguity (which I need to reread after I read a primer on philosophy since I remember nothing from my intro class 20+ years ago, and I was not entirely awake when I read it), and The Second Sex (I LOVE it).

I cannot do justice to The Second Sex in describing it to others. Many have written about it, but I think you expressed your thoughts on your very own work the best, when you wrote about it in your third autobiographical volume, Force of Circumstance--which I haven't read and am going on the word of the site where I found it, and which I must share with the world: On the Publication of The Second Sex.

What I have done in your honor is to read everything you wrote, read as much as I can on feminism and women's issues from as many viewpoints as possible so that when the day comes when I decide to open my mouth publicly and/or write as prolificly as you did (at least, in spirit!), I will have a clue as to what I'm talking about.

So you see, you need not worry that I'm blindly and slavishly reading only your work! I've only just begun my quest to reach out to others' work. I have read Gloria Steinem and bell hooks. hooks, who doesn't use capital letters when writing her name, wrote a very cool primer/handbook: Feminism is for Everybody. In it, she provided a very clear and straightforward definition of feminism that everyone can embrace:

Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.

Who can disagree with that, except those who are the most close-minded, insecure, and ignorant?!

And since I'm such a devotee of yours, I'm leaving reviews on amazon.com for each work of yours I read. It may not be the most well-written among the others, but a lot of respect, admiration and love went into reading your work, writing about it, and sharing it. A good site where others can find out more about you is The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

Or for a fresh (and shorter) look at your life, Spiegel Online International published a wonderful article in honor of your 100th birthday, today. ;-)

You've become my mentor in spirit, my inspiration to reach for higher achievements, and my heroine, because of what you represented: you were your own woman, you did what you wanted to do on your own terms, you were seemingly unafraid to do anything in life--including challenging men, and helping countless women. Myself included.

The quote I put at the beginning of this dedication to you is forever seared into my memory. I turn to it whenever I am in doubt, or feel weighted down by illness, or by life circumstances. I reflect on it when I'm in good spirits as well. It gives me a big boost!

If I was writing this 25 years ago, I could maybe write something coherent to you in French, with five years of study under my belt...fractured French! Then I'd be too embarrassed to send it to you! But I barely knew you existed then. :-(

Fortunately, I know about you, NOW. :-)

I can only imagine the amount of work you might have produced had you lived at least until today, your 100th birthday, and in the internet age, no less!


Merci beaucoup, Simone. Et bon anniversaire!

The Grim Reaper Strikes Again

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

- From a headstone in Ireland



My Auntie M--my mom's second eldest sister, passed away today. :-( It just seemed too quick, since her diagnosis in September. I thought she was supposed to have at least six months, according to her doctors.

Auntie M and Uncle B were married for over 50 years. They had no children. I imposed myself on them 21 years ago, one summer, while I was trying to graduate on time by taking a couple of intensive, three-week, quick and dirty get-it-over-with summer courses at San Francisco State U. (Not my regular college). I stayed six weeks. I'm sure it was hard on them, having had no children and not being used to company.

I felt like I was under a microscope the entire time, with Auntie M reporting my every move, word, and habit to my mother! %-0 Despite our difficulties, I came to realize Auntie M was a good-hearted person. She may have been seemingly hypercritical, judgmental, and intolerant of others at times, but she really had a good heart. :-)

Auntie M makes the fourth person in the family we've lost this year. In January, it was a dear family friend. In March, my favorite uncle. In April, a young cousin (who survived a year after being diagnosed with a brain tumor). And now, Auntie M.

Can we have a break from all this sadness, which also includes loved ones on both sides of the family who've been diagnosed with cancer this year??

When I read things like: death is part of life, I do NOT disagree. But that doesn't make it any less painful for the ones who lost someone dear in their lives, by any measure.

I'm not a religious person, so I am not going to talk about God. My feelings are ambivalent about Her (!) at best. I go to God when I'm feeling desperate, like going for junk food when I have no other choice in front of me. No wonder sailors curse God all the time. Or pray fervently to God. They are sailing on rough waters that seem to have no end in sight.

(To those shocked by my reference to HER, I ask: DO YOU IN FACT KNOW that God is a HE, not a SHE?)

When I think of death, I think of an image seen too many times in film: the image of a robed, hooded person whose face you can't see, with a sickle in hand--used for digging your grave.

The last time I encountered the Grim Reaper, it was when I had my one and only car accident en route to work one morning. A slippery bridge...my car went out of control, and I ricocheted across the bridge. Good thing no one was on it except me. It was 5:45 in the morning or so. Yes, I used to work crazy hours like that for too many years!

Hubby asked later why I didn't use the emergency brakes. Well, dear, it's kind of hard to remember that when you think that this is THE END. When you suddenly see your life flash before you. When you try to remember at what point do you open your car door and escape when your car flips over into the water (which I was sure that was going to happen, but never did)?

The first time I thought I had met Mr. GR was a decade ago, after an operation to remove ovarian cysts, and I felt so utterly miserable that I almost didn't care AT ALL if I woke up again or not. I was SO completely overwhelmed with nausea. Yech!

I've escaped him twice now. I know you can't choose your time, and I've had more ailments throughout my lifetime than I can count on my fingers and toes together. My family can attest to that! But each time I get knocked down with something, I allow myself a little pity party, and then force myself to move on. Do whatever I have to do to get over this situation.

I'll be damned if I let the Grim Reaper get anywhere near me: I'll fight HIM tooth and nail as long as I have my faculties intact! (Yes, a him. How could such an unpleasant character be a woman?!)

I did have a couple close calls in the last year with a monster Mack truck and also a pick-up truck (the driver was looking right AT me! Or was it through me?) while crossing the street on foot. The Grim Reaper can show up anywhere!

I am the baby on both sides of the family. I came later in my parents' lives (for the 60's) and all my grandparents were products of the 19th century. I was very young when three of them passed away in succession within a year and a half or so. I had just barely started school--no later than the beginning of 1st grade when the last of the three died.

I didn't know them well, but I have a good photographic memory of them. AND their funerals. I think seeing a lot of death in a short period of time and being very young has had a big impact on me in ways I haven't quite figured out yet.

My mom was also having health problems at the time, but I didn't know it--or maybe I did at the time but didn't ask. And wasn't told. That's just how things were then.

I do know that I don't get freaked like some people do when others die. Maybe they haven't seen death close up before, I don't know. It's never, never easy, no matter how many times I've seen death. I had two friends who sat next to each other at my wedding banquet; both were gone the next month. And of course I fell apart at their funeral and memorial service. :-(

When someone I cared about leaves this world, it certainly makes me reflect on their life. Was it a life well-lived? How did he or she survive war and manage life's dark moments? Then I think about my life. Am I living the best way I can, according to my desires and goals first, rather than according to the expectations/conventions of society? What can I do better to achieve and surpass my own expectations? There is always room for improvement, yes indeed! ;-0

Death may be lurking in the distant future, but I intend to live my life as fully as possible, on my terms, pursuing the activities and ideas I value, standing firm for my convictions, and not being afraid of those who may vehemently disagree with me. We'll just have to agree to disagree. ;-)

Oh, one other thing: I don't like wearing black at all. It reminds me of funerals, death. Black looks great on other people. It looks cool. Sophisticated. I'll wear black trousers if need be, like for work or if it's too cold to wear a dress, but if I don't have to, I won't. Because black represents death and cold, vast emptiness to me.

I'd rather wear my favorite color, RED: a color symbolizing life...vibrancy...warmth!

Rest in peace, Auntie M. I'll never forget what a good heart you possessed and my brief time with you and Uncle B. :-)