The Path to Tranquility

Once upon a time in my life, I stayed too long at a job because it provided a steady paycheck, annual raises, benefits for retirement, and a few perks--such as company propaganda to wear when the weather got chilly, polo shirts embroidered with the company name--which remain unworn to this day, insulated lunch bags printed with the company name, and twice (then once) a year lunches with your department.

It also provided me with nearly a decade's worth of daily, non-stop stress, which increased at a furious pace during the last couple years that I was there. Stress that was provided by mean co-workers SO mean that you would wonder how such persons could even exist. Or coworkers who tried to usurp authority from their supervisors on an almost daily basis. Or coworkers so flaky you wondered why they weren't pie crusts instead of human beings. Or "people down the hill" in the administrative building thinking of dumb donkey rules every year for the peons below them, in order to puff themselves up at their next review.

My goodness, stress can really be a bad thing! It can cause you all sorts of health problems, as it did in my case. I was a lab technician and worked with all sorts of nasty stuff: chemicals and viruses and lord knows what else. Yuk! I cannot prove that working around all that crap caused my ailments...but it certainly couldn't have helped. Even with all the safety measures we followed, such as wearing safety glasses, gloves, space/monkey suits that suffocated the life out of us, masks, etc. It came to the point where I had insomnia EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. Is that hating a job or what?! Then there were colds every month, and developing IBS...among other things.

My poor honey! How many years did he did endure all my ranting and raving when I came home from work, making outlandish declarations that I would tell my "favorite" coworker off...give her a piece of my mind? He would calmly tell me that I would not do such a thing, not just for practical reasons (being sent down the hill to HR), but because, he said, you don't have the stomach to sink to her level. Bless his heart: he often tried to humor me to ease my tension. Once, when I was going off about my "favorite" coworker while we were in the shower, he said why don't you try a Dirty Harry line? What's that, I asked? With a seriously straight face, he replied,

"Feeling lucky...punk?"

HAHAHAHAHA!%-D I almost slipped and fell in the shower, I was laughing so hard!

I had a great deal of family stress growing up. But that's another saga which I will not go into detail about. I was quite aware that I was not managing my emotions well at all, either towards my favorite coworker or the entire situation at work itself. It was quite easy to blame everyone and everyone else, though! ;-) Rant and rave! Rant and rave! I have an insane coworker! YOU have no idea how crazy the situation is! THEY don't give a flying fig about us! The company is blowing money on stupid things! They're making more and more dumb donkey rules that make no sense--only to make the rest of us miserable! Blah, blah, blah!

One Sunday...I had just HAD IT. When I've had it, I have HAD IT. No turning back. I was sick of being sick, tired of dreading another week, tired of the nonsense that was going on. I asked hubby to help me draft a resignation letter. The result was two sentences! Brief and to the point. I gave no hint to anyone that I was leaving; everybody was shocked. (Gee, didn't they notice how stressed and snappy I'd become?) I have never looked back since.

When I left, my hubby asked me how was I going to deal with the next impossible coworker? I had to think about that one. Hopefully, a lot better than this last one, I told him.

I don't consider myself a religious person, though I did think myself one, a few times in my life. I grew up in a Methodist church, but haven't been there in more than half a lifetime. I attended my friends' Baptist church on youth night every Friday from 9th-12th grades because no one from my school went to my church. It was totally a social gesture on my part. Later, when I first married, my spouse and I joined a radically different evangelical church...that lasted for about 18 months. When I was in 9th grade, I read the entire book of Revelations--and had wild dreams throughout my reading of it. And when I was in high school, I was an AFS (American Field Service) exchange student to Konya, Turkey--the most religious city in the country at that time, and maybe still is. I even went back after college to visit. (I LOVE it there!). But all those activities certainly do not make me a religious person, by any measure.


So how to deal with the next impossible coworker? I looked to my Buddhist friend. She had been through a lot in life, personally, and yet she seemed at peace with herself and with the world--even though she was very hyperactive on the outside! She was and most likely, still is, the only Asian living in a certain rural community in Sussex County, Delaware. She has never proselytized to me. But I was curious about Buddhism because of how she is. I went to the library and got some books on Buddhism and really liked what I read. I didn't believe everything, or at least, was doubtful about some things. But I thought much of it was practical advice. Very useful. It just "spoke" to me.:-) And still does.

Reading the words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama and others gave me a sense of peace I hadn't ever experienced. I shared this with my friend and she was very supportive, knowing very well that I didn't intend to become a Buddhist, but only take from its teachings what I liked and could apply to my own life.

Having gained a greater sense of peace from continued study of writings by Buddhist leaders over the last few years, I feel I can better handle myself towards others, especially hostile or "difficult" people. I sure hope I do.

The current book I'm reading now, The Path to Tranquility, by the Dalai Lama, is like a calendar: words of wisdom for each day of the year. I love it! So much good stuff in there. I recently shared this with my friend who is at washingtonsu.blogspot.com. Even though she mentions this same quote on her site, I'm going to do the same anyway, because it really, really hits me:

If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then also there is no need to worry.

No point in being a worry wart, eh? Easier said than done! But I do take those words to heart and will endeavor to remember this the next time I'm up the creek.

My hubby has often characterized me as a restless spirit on an endless flight. That's in reference to a song by the Eagles. (Hopefully, I'm not a witchy woman, though!) This is a pretty accurate assessment of me, myself, and I. My mind is often racing! Perhaps that is why I was attracted to the title of the Dalai Lama's book, The Path to Tranquility. It's become one of my favorites, of his works. Reading it gives me a sense of peace. It's wonderful! I like that.

What Do YOU Care What Other People Think?

I like that quote (also the title of a book) by the late great physicist Richard Feynman. Why? Because it INSPIRES me when I'm not feeling very confident!:-)

I read his very interesting collection of stories from his life late last year, and was touched by his story of how he defied his family and married the woman he loved, knowing she had a terminal illness, and of their relationship while she lay dying in a hospital while he was working on the bomb in Los Alamos. He used to like to say that to her...and she threw it right back at him when he was confronted with potential uncomfortable situations, usually created by herself!

Are you wondering how the heck did I come up with my blog name? Well, I'll tell you. The "woman warrior" part was inspired by the title of the same name of a novel by Maxine Hong Kingston. The "007"? I am a Bond junkie to the marrow of my bone! I used to be--and still am, prone to fantasies of being a spy. Must be from watching too many thriller movies in the past and present. I figured that since I'm quiet natured, I could sneak in and out of places without being noticed.

Of course, I'm sure there's MUCH more to being a spy than that. Like assuming another identity, constantly watching your back, lying to get information you need...who knows what else? I'm always shedding hair...someone would find my black hair in no time! If you ever go to Washington D.C., be sure to check out the International Spy Museum. It's lots of fun!

This is my second blog. I was womanwarrior2 at modblog.com. But I recently discovered they've faded into oblivion. My old blog is now cached, and not all of it is there. Oh well. I quit writing last spring when I became overwhelmed at school. I had started it the year before, when I turned 40.

Then I decided to change course, return to school to become a massage therapist (which I love!) and studied my brains out, after almost two decades out of college!%-0 We had tests or quizzes EVERY single week for nine months, excepting the Christmas holidays. 900 hours of therapeutic massage training. Then studying for the national board exam. No time for a blog!

But now I do.:-)

Please visit my friend at washingtonsu.blogspot.com., especially if you live in Washington state and/or have an interest in jewelry making. She's a longtime friend of mine...since jr. high school and just moved from CA to WA.

She beat me to the punch! Just last week she asked for advice on starting a blog...but before I had a chance to respond, she emailed the other day to say she had her own blog! I don't want to be left behind!

Friends are VERY important to me. They keep me happy and healthy!:-) I made it very clear to my man before we got married that friends are extremely important to me. He was puzzled in the beginning, but he knows this now, after so many years of observing my friendships w/o me having to articulate anything.

So I mention my friend in WA because I try to look out for my peeps!