Spider Hell

BOO!

Spiders freak me out!

I dropped an eight pound bag of multi flavored dog biscuits on a medium sized spider the other day. On purpose. And I dropped it 2x...just to make sure.

Last weekend, my 11 year old nephew, who was camping out at his mom mom and pop pop's house (which is only a couple hundred feet away from us) with his siblings, came out of the bedroom to report a spider in the bedroom. He and his younger sister and brother were sharing the big bed, and apparently did not want to have spider company.

J (nephew): Uh...there's a big spider in the bedroom!

Uncle B: Well, why don't you kill it then?

J: (almost wincing) But, it's BIG!

UB: Oh, C'mon now! You're like 100 times bigger than it!

J: Please?

me: oh, B...go do it! %-0

So Uncle B went and took care of the spider. But since he likes those creatures, he doesn't kill them. He took his shirt off, gathered it up as if putting a baby in a blanket (!), and took it outside to free it. I told J that I didn't like spiders, either...I think that reassured him, since hubby was teasing him. ;-)

I got B to take care of another his eight-legged friends when I saw one hanging from the ceiling one night this week. If he is around, I ask him to take care of it. If not, the spider has no future with me!

Yesterday, I drowned one in the kitchen sink, and vacuumed up another in the utility room. I had some mercy on it for about a record-breaking month, because hubby wouldn't take it out, saying, "it's not hurting anything". Yes it was: it was hurting my field of vision in that small corner of the room! %-0 Unfortunately, I sucked up a couple of ladybugs in the process of vacuuming up cobwebs and spiders. I LOVE ladybugs!

Oh! And then the other night, fil's puppy, S: I pointed out the medium sized spider to him and he chased it in a small space of the living room of mil/fil's house! He squashed it with his big paw (he does have large, cute paws!). He kept at it, smashing it repeatedly, as in, spider overkill! %-0 Then, like me, he kept examining it, to make sure it was deceased. :-)

It was actually pretty funny to watch him go after the spider! And I thanked him for helping me! I know hubby was probably not pleased about the spider's fate, but he was laughing with me at S, too!

Hubby, my friends and family will tell you I don't like eight-legged arachnoids. They're just...creepy!

Where do I trace my intense hatred for them? (okay, well...HATE might be a strong word, especially since I think reeeeeaaally tiny ones that are colorful, are somewhat cute--as long as they're not in my home!)

I have a clear photographic memory of riding my tricycle around the block, with my mom following me. I was probably in preschool then. I remember my mom stopping to talk with a neighbor. You know that when you're very small, and you're hanging around when adults talk, it seems like eternity, right? I happened to feel something crawling on me...I looked down, and was completely horrified by this big, black, chunky spider on my leg! Now I call them Schwarzenegger spiders, in honor of the governor of CA! Actually, I called them that before he became governor...when he was still the Terminator.

I kept trying to get my mother's attention, calling out to her as if my life were in mortal danger: "MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!" %-0 Finally, she got annoyed with my interruptions of her conversation with the neighbor and my tugging at her pants,

"WHAT is it?" she asked, exasperated. (someone like me doesn't forget the tone of their mother's voice in grave situations like these!)

"Mommy!" I whimpered, "Spi--spider! SPIIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRRRRR" I sniffed.

"Where is it?" she asked impatiently

"My l--leg!" I pointed to the creature, which was very still on my leg.

What did my mommy do? She bent down and whacked it on my leg! Gave me a spider tatoo! And went on talking with the neighbor as if nothing happened! %-0

Do you even think I would forget this traumatic experience? No way! I whined again to her, and she curtly said, "It's dead. It's not going anywhere!"

How do you know? It might come back to life! :-(

I couldn't express that then, but that's what I was thinking, since I kept staring at the spider corpse tattoo on my leg, even all the way back down the street to our house, with Mom scolding me for not looking where I was going as I was probably running my tricycle either into her legs or off the sidewalk.

When I tell hubby to take his friend out, I ask him to please take the spider WAY past the door. ;-)

He asks: Do you actually think it's going to come back and get you?

Yes, of course it will!

I just don't want to give it a second chance to come back to terrorize me!

And there's another incident: seeing the movie Charlotte's Web. I had nightmares from watching that friendly spider! My brother was not home for some reason and I wanted to sleep in his room! Selfish little sister ME wants to get away from big sister! (sorry Sis!). I was

That night after I saw it, I dreamt his entire bedroom ceiling was covered with crawling black spiders! %-0 And I screamed (yelled?) and caused Mom and Sis to run to the room. While they were trying to ask me what was wrong and calming me down, I sobbed that there were black spiders crawling all over the ceiling!

Where, honey?

Look up!

See? There's nothing there!

Well, in my mind they were there! They just didn't see them! :-(

On another occasion, when I was home alone with my sister, I came to the door in a fit because I thought I'd run into a gigantic cobweb...and thus, potentially a gigantic spider. ;-) Poor sister thought I was hurt, because (I think) I was crying and screaming. When she asked me what's wrong, I kept saying, "SPIIIIIIDERR! SPIIIDER".

But she saw no spider. Nor a cobweb. I was quite sure I ran into SOMETHING! I'm sure she could imitate what I did that day, if you wanted to know. ;-)

Does all this make clear to you that I have a lifetime intense dislike for arachnids? I don't think I'll ever get over it!

Now that we're really living in the sticks, I've been exposed to A LOT more creatures. The kind I like (ladybugs, wooley worms, tiny frogs and toads), and the kind I that makes me wince: spiders, daddy long-legs, wasps, yellow jackets). I don't like snakes or mice, either--unless they're in cartoon form or behind a glass enclosure (!), but they don't scare me like spiders and insects.

I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in Spider Hell for all the spiders I've destroyed?

Or maybe not, since I don't believe in heaven or hell.

Or maybe I'll return in another life as an arachnid?

Or maybe this is all nonsensical?

All I know is: I'm seeing more spiders this year than last year, when we first moved down here. Yes, I know they're part of our planet and they eat bad things that we don't want to know about...but I do not like them at all.

Woe be to the eight-legged creature who crosses my path! %-0

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

Day After Witches Brew

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go/Back to their quiet graves below.

-Theodosia Garrison, American poet (1874-1944)


If you look out one of my bedroom windows, you can clearly see about six or seven graves across the way, beyond a little creek running in front of it. They are the final resting places of the original owner's family who lived on the property that we now live on; most of them died circa 1830.

In the spirit of Halloween (and I meant to post yesterday, but baked cookies instead), I was kind of hoping I could meet their ghosts. That they'd tap on our bedroom window to say hello. ;-0 Just to see what they looked liked. Is that morbid? Maybe I watched too many scary movies this past week? I'm just curious that's all! %-)

One night, hubby and I stayed up and watched "Halloween", and then the 4th and 5th sequels! I had no idea it had so many sequels. Eight or nine, including a remake of the original one. It was good for laughs, at best. Scary as always!

I still think psychological horror movies are the scariest movies, like "Psycho", "Raising Caine", and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". I don't like watching too much blood and gore, especially those that have disembodied head scenes. That would make me puke in a flash.

My little Halloween decorations are still on my windowsill and fridge. I haven't taken them down yet because I think they're awfully cute. Mice can be super cute in cartoon version. But not in real life. Well, maybe momentarily, but they no longer become cute when they've caused damage and/or pooped your property. The last three nights in a row, three mice have got caught in mil's kitchen. And the same trap in the same place. The second one let out a squeal and startled us! His back broke and it took longer for him to perish. The other two died instantly.

I prefer Tom and Jerry! :-)

No tricksters came by our home yesterday. We didn't have any candy to distribute anyway. There's NO light on these country roads! %-0 It is kind of fun to give candy out. The last time we did that was when we still lived in our house in DE. During the last couple of years we were there, door to door trick-or-treating seemed to be out of fashion, in favor of parties for kids, in the name of safety. That seems to be a reasonable thing to do, but if I were a kid, I'd still rather go door to door: there's more spookiness and fun there, in contrast to being herded into a party. I'm not a party person--that's not my style, so that's my personal bias. I like to go exploring on my own, or with a couple of close friends. ;-)

No fantastic, technicolor dreams last night, which is strange, considering all the horror movies I've watched each night in the last week. I dreamed I was scheduled to take a FRENCH class, for this morning! Why? I don't know! Are there secret travel agendas lurking in my mind? Was my five years of French not sufficient for whatever reason? Hey, if someone told me I had to be in class right now, I wouldn't mind--I love learning languages!

This year, I didn't don any of my Halloween earrings. I just didn't think of it until too late. I'll try to do better to get in the spirit next year!

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

-Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

BOO!

'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.

- William Shakespeare

There is a graveyard by our apartment complex. It's the first thing I noticed when we first moved here four years ago. I told hubby, "We're going to be in trouble if these folks decide to wake up one night!"

If I had never seen "Night of the Living Dead", I might never have thought to say such a silly thing. But as it is, I have a morbid curiosity with horror films, mostly since I've been with my man. I can only watch horror flicks with him or with friends, though...never alone!

I do not like the gruesome, gushy blood fanfare. Especially any head lopping stuff. I can thank my 8th grade history teacher for that. She showed us a film on the French Revolution that had guillotine scenes. That did it. My lunch period was next. I don't recall having had lunch that day; my stomach was in a knot. Yuk. Sorry if you feel sick at this moment, but you can understand my aversion to certain scenes. Nothing will make me puke faster than a head scene.

I'm more into the eerie psych stuff, which I think is scarier than lots of butchering. Films like "Psycho", "Raising Caine", "The Exorcist", and "Rosemary's Baby" still scare me to this day! %-0 Even "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"--which actually did not show a lot of blood but only let the audience imagine it with the screaming and the sounds of the chainsaw, is more a psychologically scary film than the slash and burn types. It certainly leaves more to the imagination than some newer films, which is why I like older films in general, because they're not insulting to my mind.

The other week, I got "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi from the library.. I'd seen it eons ago, but hubby never saw it. It was GREAT! We had seen the Dracula movie by Coppola with Winona Ryder, Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, and Keanu Reeves. That was also very good, and stylish! But there was something very pure and raw about the 1931 version with Bela Lugosi--he was portrayed as more human...and tortured. The other Dracula movie we saw was an older one with Christopher Lee as Dracula, probably from the 60's or early 70's. That was a funny one: there was a host in the castle named Clove (as in garlic clove!), thick blood that looked like it came out of ketchup bottle, and Dracula sinking into the ground like the Wicked Witch of the West in "The Wizard of Oz"!

Silent horror films can be spooky, too, like German expressionist films "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" and "Nosferatu". They look tame...but don't watch them by yourself!

Also, when we first moved here, we had a horribly noisy fan in the bathroom. It sounded like the motor on the boat in "Jaws". Yes, in my wild imagination (especially if I was home alone), I fully expected a shark to rip through the bathroom wall and violently tear my flesh off! I had that thought for only a moment! But t was enough for us to call maintenance to come and quiet the thing. They did something, I don't know what; afterwards, it was still loud, but not so obnoxious. :-)

Many eons ago, I heard some horrible voice coming from another room and went in to find my honey watching "Hellraiser". I was so scared for him! As if the skinless people in the movie were going to reach out and grab him! Aren't you scared, I asked? Oh no! He was very non-chalant about it, and in fact, was getting quite a bit of thrill and morbid amusement out of it. Being the good wife, I stayed with him cuz I was worried for him. Instead, I ended up hiding behind him everytime I thought something gruesome was going to happen, like a head scene. Yuk!

Would you believe I saw it a second time? Or maybe it was the sequel. I don't remember! All I remember is that I was laughing my head off at Pinhead! The other characters, too, but mostly him. Some of these horror flicks have a lot of black humor in them, if you can get past the red liquid part. Hubby and I tend to be attracted to the bizarre and black humored fare (which, I suppose, could mean both of us may be weird, ourselves). ;-)

This can include non-horror entertainment, such as Dr. Who, The Twilight Zone (the old, black and white episodes) and Monty Python, all of which were prone to showing some horror--usually in a very, dark-humored way.

I don't know why some find horror fascinating and others are revolted by it. I guess it depends on your tolerance level. I just figure: it's only a movie!

Books are another matter. I went through a Stephen King phase in jr. high and high school and got scared reading "The Shining" while babysitting; my neighbor's heater was really loud one night, and their little girl didn't like to be in the dark, yelling for me to come keep her company. And wouldn't you know it--her yelling combined with the choking, gutteral, wailing heater coincided with the "purple lady in the bathtub" scene! %-0

A few years later, at a church youth group xmas party, "The Shining" was on the host's tv! Yes, a church Christmas party! It really was quite funny that it was on during most of the party! Most of us were only looking at it periodically until the really scary parts--then we were all glued to the tube! I'll never forget that party because it's when I ran into my ex-boyfriend and he asked if I was going to the senior ball (he had graduated two years previously), and I said, no...no one asked me. NO ONE? he asked incredulously. Nope. Wanna go with me? So he did...and then stood me up two weeks before the event saying he couldn't get off work; then a friend found me another "date", then the ex called back and said he actually could take me, so I had two on my hands! I ended up going with the ex, since I hardly knew my friend's friend and didn't particularly like him to start, AND my parents knew the ex from before (you know how it is, put the parents at ease so you can get achieve your goals!).

I read a few more of King's novels, the scariest being "The Stand". Then I had enough! They sort of became formulaic, like Danielle Steele novels. Or cheap romantic novels. You read a few of them and they all seem the same. I despise that! Scary to me is Edgar Allen Poe's work...try him if you'd like your imagination to fly.

Or Dante's _Inferno_..."ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE"...oooh! And that was just at the gates of hell, not in the depths! %-( I actually had to put the book down because it got scary and gruesome! On the second reading, it was actually amusing, in a dark way, which is probably why it is part of a larger work called "The Divine Comedy" (which I read in junior high but did not appreciate at the time).

How about music? The scariest contemporary artist we heard was Marilyn Manson. We were on the road one day, and didn't hear the announcer say who was singing until after the "song" was over. It sounded like the devil! Is he related to Charles Manson, I thought?! Geez! He sounded inhuman! I was thinking of "Rosemary's Baby" when I heard it! %-0

You can listen to good, classical music and feel very spooked, such as with Maurice Ravel's "Isle of the Dead" and Modest Mussorgky's "Night on Bald Mountain". Probably many people have heard these tunes in pop culture, but didn't know their origins. I didn't until the last several years. Check them out sometime...just don't listen to them by yourself at night! %-0 Then there's "Pierrot Lunaire", by Arnold Schoenberg. NOT for the faint of heart! Just be prepared--you might just think there is a crazy person in the house...! And everyone's heard Bach's fugues for Halloween. Did that master of music ever turn in his grave to know what was done with his work?

I had good restraint today: I only took two Tootsie Roll candies out of the plastic pumpkin overflowing with sugar at the library! And I haven't eaten them...yet!

Oh, I miss dressing up for Halloween. The last time I did that was in college. I was a gypsy. I hope to go to a grown-up Halloween costume party one day. I think it would be fun! And I wouldn't be a gypsy again. I'm inspired more by Marvin the Martian (of Looney Tune fame) or the creatures in the bar scene from "Star Wars". Or even the "creatures" who carded me at a dark disco somewhere south of Market Street in San Francisco during my wild college nights! :-D


BOO to you!

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.

- Emily Dickinson