Due to some technical difficulties, I have moved my blog to a new home. Please visit me! :
http://goof.sdf.org/womanwarrior007/
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Why Does the World Dislike Women So Much?
Misogyny: the hatred of women.
The word sounds as twisted as its definition.
Mi-soj-uh-nee.
It took me a long time to learn how to pronounce that word.
And it has taken me even longer to realize how pervasive misogyny is throughout the world. From ancient times to today.
The Greek philospher, Aristotle, wrote that a female is an incomplete male, or "as it were, a deformity."
Through my research, writing, and editing for Safe World for Women, a global women’s rights and advocacy organization which campaigns for the rights of women and girls, I find endless evidence of abuses and injustices against women and girls.
Why?
Why is there such a strong tradition of preferring sons over daughters in many parts of the world? Many researchers in the field of gender discrimination would tell you it's economic: that sons usually are the breadwinners and thus, care-takers of their parents in old-age. That daughters are considered an economic burden by their families.
Or that sons are needed to carry on the family name and are the rightful offspring who deserve to inherit property and finances.
That may be true, in practical terms. But is there a deeper reason for such gender discrimination? It's easy to say economics is the reason.
Let's get down to the nitty gritty: people still do not like or trust women. They may even hate women.
Enough to kill them if the women's families can't fulfill their greedy desires for more dowry, sometimes within days of their wedding. Enough to drive them to commit suicide because the women would rather die than live with daily abuse...because they did not produce a son. Or enough because a daughter was raped, and has thus brought dishonor to the family, so a male member of the family must get rid of her.
Or simply, that they are women.
It doesn't matter what socio-economic background women come from--all are vulnerable. In fact, if women come from affluent backgrounds in some heavily male-preference societies like India, China, and South Korea, the access to technology to determine sex of the fetus can cause more abuse for women.
Pressure to abort female fetuses, denial of medical care or help if the mother chooses to maintain her pregnancy, verbal and physical abuse. No regard for the woman, not least of all her reproductive health.
Verbal and physical abuse.
Hatred manifested.
Toward women.
Why women?
Misogyny?
Or just because we are easy targets: usually physically smaller, and often with fewer resources?
Nearly everyday I read stories about horrible abuse of women: 20-40,000 girls trafficked from Nigeria to Mali; women with their children fleeing for their lives from Somalia--often losing their children, their dignity, or their heads, for "disobeying" the warlord of the day; women and girls from Mexico forced into prostitution--in the United States; thousands of women raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo for more than a decade to the present day.
And no one is stopping this unmitigated hate.
We have international laws, national laws, and state laws which have been put on the books with good intentions. Countless NGO's that work tirelessly to bring relief and hope to those dispossessed and robbed of their dignity.
And yet women are still maltreated in every corner of the world: China, India, Somalia, Mexico. The United States.
What? The USA?
Yes. How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when there is sex trafficking of American teens nationwide, when three women a day die from domestic abuse, when a woman is raped every 90 seconds, when female political candidates of every stripe are crucified and mocked for the most trivial details?
How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when women's reproductive health rights are constantly attacked by those who wish to control them through public policy--or within the medical community, via excess C-sections and unnecessary castrations (hysterectomies) for non life-threatening conditions.
You can give all the excuses in the world for the widespread maltreatment of half of humanity: economic necessity, medical expertise, cultural traditions, war-induced post-traumatic stress syndrome, drug and alcohol abuse...there's probably a bit of truth in all of them.
But dig a little deeper.
Why does the world dislike women so much?
Misogyny is the hatred of women. Hatred is rooted in ignorance.
That is not someplace I ever want to be rooted in.
My heart literally aches when I hear of ANY kind of abuse toward ANY woman or group of women, anywhere in the world.
Ignorance is not bliss when one in three women worldwide experience violence at some point in their lives. When unmitigated hatred runs rampant and steals the dignity and lives of millions of women.
Why should you care?
Because I am speaking of half of humanity. Hatred is a scary and dark emotion that spreads like wildfire, left unchecked.
In the west, we can more easily speak up and call out offenders when they degrade women, or bring them to justice if they have harmed or killed women.
In other parts of the world, where women have many fewer rights due to cultural traditions, despite laws being on the books, I feel that those of us who live in much more fortunate circumstances and who are able and willing to do so, must advocate and raise awareness on their behalf.
And keep on working until justice has been won.
Which may not happen in our lifetimes.
But it is worth fighting for.
I don't want hate and darkness in the world. I want love and lightness.
Call that corny if you will, but I am going to stand up for women's rights and well-being to my last breath.
I am not interested in cutting women down to anything less than the human beings we are.
I am interested in making misogyny a thing of the past.
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa
The word sounds as twisted as its definition.
Mi-soj-uh-nee.
It took me a long time to learn how to pronounce that word.
And it has taken me even longer to realize how pervasive misogyny is throughout the world. From ancient times to today.
The Greek philospher, Aristotle, wrote that a female is an incomplete male, or "as it were, a deformity."
Through my research, writing, and editing for Safe World for Women, a global women’s rights and advocacy organization which campaigns for the rights of women and girls, I find endless evidence of abuses and injustices against women and girls.
Why?
Why is there such a strong tradition of preferring sons over daughters in many parts of the world? Many researchers in the field of gender discrimination would tell you it's economic: that sons usually are the breadwinners and thus, care-takers of their parents in old-age. That daughters are considered an economic burden by their families.
Or that sons are needed to carry on the family name and are the rightful offspring who deserve to inherit property and finances.
That may be true, in practical terms. But is there a deeper reason for such gender discrimination? It's easy to say economics is the reason.
Let's get down to the nitty gritty: people still do not like or trust women. They may even hate women.
Enough to kill them if the women's families can't fulfill their greedy desires for more dowry, sometimes within days of their wedding. Enough to drive them to commit suicide because the women would rather die than live with daily abuse...because they did not produce a son. Or enough because a daughter was raped, and has thus brought dishonor to the family, so a male member of the family must get rid of her.
Or simply, that they are women.
It doesn't matter what socio-economic background women come from--all are vulnerable. In fact, if women come from affluent backgrounds in some heavily male-preference societies like India, China, and South Korea, the access to technology to determine sex of the fetus can cause more abuse for women.
Pressure to abort female fetuses, denial of medical care or help if the mother chooses to maintain her pregnancy, verbal and physical abuse. No regard for the woman, not least of all her reproductive health.
Verbal and physical abuse.
Hatred manifested.
Toward women.
Why women?
Misogyny?
Or just because we are easy targets: usually physically smaller, and often with fewer resources?
Nearly everyday I read stories about horrible abuse of women: 20-40,000 girls trafficked from Nigeria to Mali; women with their children fleeing for their lives from Somalia--often losing their children, their dignity, or their heads, for "disobeying" the warlord of the day; women and girls from Mexico forced into prostitution--in the United States; thousands of women raped in the Democratic Republic of Congo for more than a decade to the present day.
And no one is stopping this unmitigated hate.
We have international laws, national laws, and state laws which have been put on the books with good intentions. Countless NGO's that work tirelessly to bring relief and hope to those dispossessed and robbed of their dignity.
And yet women are still maltreated in every corner of the world: China, India, Somalia, Mexico. The United States.
What? The USA?
Yes. How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when there is sex trafficking of American teens nationwide, when three women a day die from domestic abuse, when a woman is raped every 90 seconds, when female political candidates of every stripe are crucified and mocked for the most trivial details?
How can anyone deny there is misogyny in the USA when women's reproductive health rights are constantly attacked by those who wish to control them through public policy--or within the medical community, via excess C-sections and unnecessary castrations (hysterectomies) for non life-threatening conditions.
You can give all the excuses in the world for the widespread maltreatment of half of humanity: economic necessity, medical expertise, cultural traditions, war-induced post-traumatic stress syndrome, drug and alcohol abuse...there's probably a bit of truth in all of them.
But dig a little deeper.
Why does the world dislike women so much?
Misogyny is the hatred of women. Hatred is rooted in ignorance.
That is not someplace I ever want to be rooted in.
My heart literally aches when I hear of ANY kind of abuse toward ANY woman or group of women, anywhere in the world.
Ignorance is not bliss when one in three women worldwide experience violence at some point in their lives. When unmitigated hatred runs rampant and steals the dignity and lives of millions of women.
Why should you care?
Because I am speaking of half of humanity. Hatred is a scary and dark emotion that spreads like wildfire, left unchecked.
In the west, we can more easily speak up and call out offenders when they degrade women, or bring them to justice if they have harmed or killed women.
In other parts of the world, where women have many fewer rights due to cultural traditions, despite laws being on the books, I feel that those of us who live in much more fortunate circumstances and who are able and willing to do so, must advocate and raise awareness on their behalf.
And keep on working until justice has been won.
Which may not happen in our lifetimes.
But it is worth fighting for.
I don't want hate and darkness in the world. I want love and lightness.
Call that corny if you will, but I am going to stand up for women's rights and well-being to my last breath.
I am not interested in cutting women down to anything less than the human beings we are.
I am interested in making misogyny a thing of the past.
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Why Are You Doing This?
Human being:
Sometimes when I am on a roll making my name public on petitions for causes that mean something to me, a small voice in the back of my mind asks myself (!): why are you doing this?
That's what slipped in my mind today.
What was I doing today? I was on a roll giving my support to women's causes. Specifically, petitions to my House and Senate reps to support CEDAW - the United Nations' Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. Though President Jimmy Carter signed on to the treaty in 1980, it has yet to be ratified by the US Congress.
There was an article on this a few days ago: Women's Rights Treaty Going Nowhere Fast in Senate. According to the article, and related sources:
"Among U.N. member states 186 countries have ratified CEDAW. The United States remains one of only seven that have not. The other six are Iran, Sudan, Somalia, Nauru, Palau and Tonga.
CEDAW is the only international human rights treaty that specifically affirms women's reproductive rights.
It also requires countries to uphold women's rights in political representation, divorce, domestic violence and other areas that can stoke the ire of social conservatives."
Women's rights advocates (I like to think of myself as one!) would like to see this passed. Right-wing politicians and conservative groups would like to see it fade into oblivion, for various reasons. One being the uncomfortable notion of having to answer to another governing body.
So, there may be some flaws to this, practically, and/or theoretically. And in fact, some countries have ratified CEDAW with reservations and objections.
For me, personally, I hope to see it ratified. What boils my blood is when I keep hearing about certain individuals in Congress who continually vote against anything recognizing the value of women.
What are we?
Half of humanity.
Who do these people think they are to scoff at women's reproductive health rights? To vote against laws that would help ensure measures to protect our individual freedom, dignity, and control over our own health by holding governments accountable? To vote against policies that would provide services to fight against and prevent violence against women, such as shelters for battered women?
Do these seemingly anti-women rights legislators, socially conservative groups like Concerned Women for America, and some talk-show hosts really have such a low, narrow view of women? Half of humanity?
What are they thinking? Do they want to keep us in our place, keep popping out puppies? Keep being a carrier/baby vessel, mother to the man's offspring, and sex slave as our only purpose on earth? I'm not just saying those things off the top of my head; it's what I've heard some relatives, friends quoting their relatives, and people in the conservative political realm, over the years. :-(
They want to keep me in my place?
I think NOT! ;-(
For those who have a limited view of women, they can keep those beliefs. Say what you want. Just don't try to shove it down my throat and attempt to make me feel inferior because I don't agree!
What is my answer to my own question, "Why are you doing this?"
Because I believe women are human beings.
Someone of a differing view from mine might say, "Well, of course they are!"
To which I would reply, "How can you say that when you add all the 'buts': but they should keep their place! but abortion has nothing to do with women's health care! but girls and women shouldn't dress provocatively; if they do, they were asking for 'it', etc.?"
I believe women are human beings who deserve to be treated with respect as any man would be, and deserve every opportunity to reach their full potential as any man would be expected to. Women deserve to live free of violence. They ought not to be subjected to superficial societal, traditional, or cultural rules of conduct unless THEY CHOOSE TO.
That's what I believe in my heart.
I will continue to put much of my energies into advocating for women's rights. For their well-being. And if someone suggests to write to a person in authority in order to bring awareness to a situation, then I will. As I did today, writing to Senator John Kerry, Chair of Senate Foreign Relations Committee, re: CEDAW.
Another petition I added my name to: Amnesty International's request to members of Congress to support the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA).
I add my voice to humanitarian, environmental, and other issues that inflame my sensibilities, too, but my heart is mostly devoted to women. :-)
If ever I get a response, which I often do from my representatives, hubby will tease: "You mean you got a letter from a staff member of a staff member?" ;-) Yes, I know they're quite automated, but at least someone in their office is paying a little bit of attention to my badgering! My online activism isn't for nothing.
I will forever save Vice President Joe Biden's letter to me, written when he was still Senator of Delaware, after writing to him four months in a row. Yes, it looked automated, but what the heck? It came from his Washington D.C. office!
I will stick up for women's rights until my last breath, and for any private person, public figure, or group, who has the guts to stand up for the rights of women worldwide. Which of course, includes the USA.
When we have three women dying each day from the hands of their husbands, boyfriend, or former partners in the United States, there is something terribly wrong about our society's attitude toward women. When we still have one in every three women, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes, there is still a lot of work to do to.
In some small way, I want to contribute my time, effort, and skills towards eliminating the violence and discrimination that hinders the well-being of my sisters worldwide. Yes, even those with whom I disagree! (those last words were not easy to write!) With every fiber of my being, to the best of my ability. To my last breath!
I feel very blessed and fortunate to have found the opportunity to use my long-buried journalism skills (!) and apply them in advancing my passion of women's and human rights through SafeWorld. That I have made such wonderfully awesome friends from working with SW speaks to the power of written communication, the marvel of modern technology, and desire and will to create a more just and safer world for women. A safe world for women is a safe world for everyone!
One is not born a woman, one becomes one. ~Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986), French writer, existentialist philospher; The Second Sex, 1949
Noun
- S: (n) homo, man, human being, human (any living or extinct member of the family Hominidae characterized by superior intelligence, articulate speech, and erect carriage)
Sometimes when I am on a roll making my name public on petitions for causes that mean something to me, a small voice in the back of my mind asks myself (!): why are you doing this?
That's what slipped in my mind today.
What was I doing today? I was on a roll giving my support to women's causes. Specifically, petitions to my House and Senate reps to support CEDAW - the United Nations' Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. Though President Jimmy Carter signed on to the treaty in 1980, it has yet to be ratified by the US Congress.
There was an article on this a few days ago: Women's Rights Treaty Going Nowhere Fast in Senate. According to the article, and related sources:
"Among U.N. member states 186 countries have ratified CEDAW. The United States remains one of only seven that have not. The other six are Iran, Sudan, Somalia, Nauru, Palau and Tonga.
CEDAW is the only international human rights treaty that specifically affirms women's reproductive rights.
It also requires countries to uphold women's rights in political representation, divorce, domestic violence and other areas that can stoke the ire of social conservatives."
Women's rights advocates (I like to think of myself as one!) would like to see this passed. Right-wing politicians and conservative groups would like to see it fade into oblivion, for various reasons. One being the uncomfortable notion of having to answer to another governing body.
So, there may be some flaws to this, practically, and/or theoretically. And in fact, some countries have ratified CEDAW with reservations and objections.
For me, personally, I hope to see it ratified. What boils my blood is when I keep hearing about certain individuals in Congress who continually vote against anything recognizing the value of women.
What are we?
Half of humanity.
Who do these people think they are to scoff at women's reproductive health rights? To vote against laws that would help ensure measures to protect our individual freedom, dignity, and control over our own health by holding governments accountable? To vote against policies that would provide services to fight against and prevent violence against women, such as shelters for battered women?
Do these seemingly anti-women rights legislators, socially conservative groups like Concerned Women for America, and some talk-show hosts really have such a low, narrow view of women? Half of humanity?
What are they thinking? Do they want to keep us in our place, keep popping out puppies? Keep being a carrier/baby vessel, mother to the man's offspring, and sex slave as our only purpose on earth? I'm not just saying those things off the top of my head; it's what I've heard some relatives, friends quoting their relatives, and people in the conservative political realm, over the years. :-(
They want to keep me in my place?
I think NOT! ;-(
For those who have a limited view of women, they can keep those beliefs. Say what you want. Just don't try to shove it down my throat and attempt to make me feel inferior because I don't agree!
What is my answer to my own question, "Why are you doing this?"
Because I believe women are human beings.
Someone of a differing view from mine might say, "Well, of course they are!"
To which I would reply, "How can you say that when you add all the 'buts': but they should keep their place! but abortion has nothing to do with women's health care! but girls and women shouldn't dress provocatively; if they do, they were asking for 'it', etc.?"
I believe women are human beings who deserve to be treated with respect as any man would be, and deserve every opportunity to reach their full potential as any man would be expected to. Women deserve to live free of violence. They ought not to be subjected to superficial societal, traditional, or cultural rules of conduct unless THEY CHOOSE TO.
That's what I believe in my heart.
I will continue to put much of my energies into advocating for women's rights. For their well-being. And if someone suggests to write to a person in authority in order to bring awareness to a situation, then I will. As I did today, writing to Senator John Kerry, Chair of Senate Foreign Relations Committee, re: CEDAW.
Another petition I added my name to: Amnesty International's request to members of Congress to support the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA).
I add my voice to humanitarian, environmental, and other issues that inflame my sensibilities, too, but my heart is mostly devoted to women. :-)
If ever I get a response, which I often do from my representatives, hubby will tease: "You mean you got a letter from a staff member of a staff member?" ;-) Yes, I know they're quite automated, but at least someone in their office is paying a little bit of attention to my badgering! My online activism isn't for nothing.
I will forever save Vice President Joe Biden's letter to me, written when he was still Senator of Delaware, after writing to him four months in a row. Yes, it looked automated, but what the heck? It came from his Washington D.C. office!
I will stick up for women's rights until my last breath, and for any private person, public figure, or group, who has the guts to stand up for the rights of women worldwide. Which of course, includes the USA.
When we have three women dying each day from the hands of their husbands, boyfriend, or former partners in the United States, there is something terribly wrong about our society's attitude toward women. When we still have one in every three women, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes, there is still a lot of work to do to.
In some small way, I want to contribute my time, effort, and skills towards eliminating the violence and discrimination that hinders the well-being of my sisters worldwide. Yes, even those with whom I disagree! (those last words were not easy to write!) With every fiber of my being, to the best of my ability. To my last breath!
I feel very blessed and fortunate to have found the opportunity to use my long-buried journalism skills (!) and apply them in advancing my passion of women's and human rights through SafeWorld. That I have made such wonderfully awesome friends from working with SW speaks to the power of written communication, the marvel of modern technology, and desire and will to create a more just and safer world for women. A safe world for women is a safe world for everyone!
One is not born a woman, one becomes one. ~Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986), French writer, existentialist philospher; The Second Sex, 1949
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Party Host to Bloodsuckers
Maybe I've watched too many horror flicks, but sometimes I feel like my body is a party host for mosquitoes. Bloodsuckers.
I've always gotten bit a lot every summer, but this year...phew! %-0 It seems like they are merciless, both in terms of biting and itching. I don't tolerate itch at all. I think I have a fairly high pain threshold, but definitely, I do not possess any itch threshold whatsoever.
Two weekends in this month of June already have been sleepless for me. Or rather, interrupted. Because of intense itching. Yes, I know you're not supposed to scratch bites! But even though I've put stuff on them before I go to bed, it's useless. I often wake up in the middle of the night.
I've spent too much time researching how to treat and avoid mosquitoes...but they still find ME! I've experimented with alchol (my mom's favorite remedy for almost everything that ails you), wintergreen alcohol (smells better!), witch hazel, Listerine, and vinegar--both regular and apple cider (also smells better!). Vinegar was actually helpful, for my bites.
None but Tiger Balm let me sleep without me waking up in the middle of the night (sometimes several times) scratching my bite, because the itch was ferociously intense. It drove me mad and made me mad, that itching! %-( Last week I went five days straight suffering interrupted sleep...and MY sleep is VERY important to ME!! I LOVE MY SLEEP! If I don't get my sleep, I'm prone to changing personality! ;-0
One night last week, I found my Tiger Balm, which I hadn't used for a couple years since I last injured my ankle while running to catch a bus and tripping over myself in a groove in the ground. I thought about Vicks VapoRub, too. Same idea as Tiger Balm: menthol and camphor taking the itch away. But since it was 3 a.m., and I was frustrated and in zombie-mode...I found my Tiger Balm first. :-)
I put it on my 13+ bites on my limbs, and felt an instant cooling effect! Whew! SLEEP!
There must be something about the back of my right thigh. My ham. Must be real tasty to the mosquitoes: I've had the most bites there--having six at one time at one point. And the ones there are THE itchiest by far. What gives? The itch lasts for several days. SO itchy it stings all day. When I get a bite there, the irritation spreads far...so far that there's a huge pink circle that spreads the width of my ham.
On Father's Day evening, I walked around at dusk (prime time for bloodsuckers!) and got a dozen bites in about 10 minutes. Had to go into the swimming pool to cool the bites off...my poor leggies (almost all on the right leg) literally felt like they were on fire! %-0
So I guess I must be very sensitive to mosquitoes. And as we are now living in the sticks and next to a river with lots of woods, there are TONS of different creatures out here, some of which my rural in-laws have not encountered, or with such magnitude, in their lifetimes! I'm sure it's not just mosquitoes biting me, as not all my bites look alike. Flies bite, too. As do gnats...and don't even mention ticks! %-0
People try to humor me and say I have sweet blood! Hubby says the insects are tired of him...they want tasty stuff: Chinese food (me)!
I've been trying to consume more garlic. Bloosuckers hate garlic. I LOVE garlic! Are these things vampires in disguise? With all my bites, I sometimes think I will turn into one! That WOULD be rather morbid, wouldn't it? But maybe, a little fun, if only to bare my bloody fangs! Hahaha! Especially to people who incite fear, hatred, and violence. ;-)
If I had $ for every bite I've gotten in my life, I think I'd be rolling in green by now! %-0 And since I will likely get countless more, I would really be in the green when I'm an old lady...! And I ought to get a bonus for the one yellowjacket sting I got on my neck a few years ago: THAT really hurt! (so much for high pain threshold!). I hope never to get stung by one of those things ever again.
Pardon me for sounding vain here, but my right ham looks like a scarred battleground now. As if it were diseased. The bite marks will fade away...but not quick enough. I think the bloodsuckers see the bite marks and think:
"Hey, hey, HEY! Look at all those bites on that lady's ham! Must be some good eatin' there! Drinks are on the host! Par-tee time! Let's go!" %-)
Or am I giving them too much credit? What else am I to think when only one leg gets the majority of bites? They concentrate their most lethal poison saliva there. Will my body ever build up resistance to them?
I've never been the party girl type. I hope I'm not being punished by the God of Social Butterflies in possessing a body that is host to insects that feel free to party and feast on my blood! %-0
Meanwhile, let me publicly thank the late Aw Boon Haw for perfecting his father's concoction along with his brother, for the product known worldwide today as Tiger Balm. Doh jeh!
* * *
p.s. (unrelated)
Dearest G:
We cannot believe it's been a year ago today that you've been gone from our lives. From so many lives you touched. We miss you sorely. You were the ultimate friend! We love you. xox
p.s.s. Tiger Balm, Aw Boon Haw, and G are hyperlinked...but I haven't figured out how to make it show yet on the new template formatting...! %-) I italicized them, though!
I've always gotten bit a lot every summer, but this year...phew! %-0 It seems like they are merciless, both in terms of biting and itching. I don't tolerate itch at all. I think I have a fairly high pain threshold, but definitely, I do not possess any itch threshold whatsoever.
Two weekends in this month of June already have been sleepless for me. Or rather, interrupted. Because of intense itching. Yes, I know you're not supposed to scratch bites! But even though I've put stuff on them before I go to bed, it's useless. I often wake up in the middle of the night.
I've spent too much time researching how to treat and avoid mosquitoes...but they still find ME! I've experimented with alchol (my mom's favorite remedy for almost everything that ails you), wintergreen alcohol (smells better!), witch hazel, Listerine, and vinegar--both regular and apple cider (also smells better!). Vinegar was actually helpful, for my bites.
None but Tiger Balm let me sleep without me waking up in the middle of the night (sometimes several times) scratching my bite, because the itch was ferociously intense. It drove me mad and made me mad, that itching! %-( Last week I went five days straight suffering interrupted sleep...and MY sleep is VERY important to ME!! I LOVE MY SLEEP! If I don't get my sleep, I'm prone to changing personality! ;-0
One night last week, I found my Tiger Balm, which I hadn't used for a couple years since I last injured my ankle while running to catch a bus and tripping over myself in a groove in the ground. I thought about Vicks VapoRub, too. Same idea as Tiger Balm: menthol and camphor taking the itch away. But since it was 3 a.m., and I was frustrated and in zombie-mode...I found my Tiger Balm first. :-)
I put it on my 13+ bites on my limbs, and felt an instant cooling effect! Whew! SLEEP!
There must be something about the back of my right thigh. My ham. Must be real tasty to the mosquitoes: I've had the most bites there--having six at one time at one point. And the ones there are THE itchiest by far. What gives? The itch lasts for several days. SO itchy it stings all day. When I get a bite there, the irritation spreads far...so far that there's a huge pink circle that spreads the width of my ham.
On Father's Day evening, I walked around at dusk (prime time for bloodsuckers!) and got a dozen bites in about 10 minutes. Had to go into the swimming pool to cool the bites off...my poor leggies (almost all on the right leg) literally felt like they were on fire! %-0
So I guess I must be very sensitive to mosquitoes. And as we are now living in the sticks and next to a river with lots of woods, there are TONS of different creatures out here, some of which my rural in-laws have not encountered, or with such magnitude, in their lifetimes! I'm sure it's not just mosquitoes biting me, as not all my bites look alike. Flies bite, too. As do gnats...and don't even mention ticks! %-0
People try to humor me and say I have sweet blood! Hubby says the insects are tired of him...they want tasty stuff: Chinese food (me)!
I've been trying to consume more garlic. Bloosuckers hate garlic. I LOVE garlic! Are these things vampires in disguise? With all my bites, I sometimes think I will turn into one! That WOULD be rather morbid, wouldn't it? But maybe, a little fun, if only to bare my bloody fangs! Hahaha! Especially to people who incite fear, hatred, and violence. ;-)
If I had $ for every bite I've gotten in my life, I think I'd be rolling in green by now! %-0 And since I will likely get countless more, I would really be in the green when I'm an old lady...! And I ought to get a bonus for the one yellowjacket sting I got on my neck a few years ago: THAT really hurt! (so much for high pain threshold!). I hope never to get stung by one of those things ever again.
Pardon me for sounding vain here, but my right ham looks like a scarred battleground now. As if it were diseased. The bite marks will fade away...but not quick enough. I think the bloodsuckers see the bite marks and think:
"Hey, hey, HEY! Look at all those bites on that lady's ham! Must be some good eatin' there! Drinks are on the host! Par-tee time! Let's go!" %-)
Or am I giving them too much credit? What else am I to think when only one leg gets the majority of bites? They concentrate their most lethal poison saliva there. Will my body ever build up resistance to them?
I've never been the party girl type. I hope I'm not being punished by the God of Social Butterflies in possessing a body that is host to insects that feel free to party and feast on my blood! %-0
Meanwhile, let me publicly thank the late Aw Boon Haw for perfecting his father's concoction along with his brother, for the product known worldwide today as Tiger Balm. Doh jeh!
* * *
p.s. (unrelated)
Dearest G:
We cannot believe it's been a year ago today that you've been gone from our lives. From so many lives you touched. We miss you sorely. You were the ultimate friend! We love you. xox
p.s.s. Tiger Balm, Aw Boon Haw, and G are hyperlinked...but I haven't figured out how to make it show yet on the new template formatting...! %-) I italicized them, though!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Babycakes
My Babycakes.
oof...how mushy! %-0
Many people like to brag about their children for various reasons. Ace in school. Top dog on the soccer team. First chair violinist in the school orchestra. Little Einstein. Future president. Future American Idol contestant. You name it.
I like to yak about my child, too. My four-legged child. :-)
He's not really mine: he belongs to my father in-law. But hubby and I care for him mostly, especially during the weekdays. So it is almost like having a kid, I imagine.
You have to feed him, make sure he has plenty of water to drink, make sure he has plenty of playtime, take care of him if he gets sick, and make sure he has plenty of tender loving care.
He's great: he doesn't talk back! No lip from S. Only looks. Poor, pitiful me looks. Or, I'm so happy I could lick you all over looks! Or, you have betrayed me looks.
I talked about S in my last post. And I don't usually repeat a subject twice in row. But this guy: I can't help it! :-)
He is incredibly gentle, sensitive, and sweet, even though he is often stinky, from swimming in the river or rolling in the garden fresh from being fertilized with chicken shit, or very rarely, rolled in dead meat...literally. Eww! Some sort of evolutionary mechanism I'd rather not know about...!
S is the most loving, four-legged creature I know. Which is to say, the only four-legged creature I know personally, if can indeed put it that way. He's a lover dog, not a fighter dog, which suits me perfectly. I love love, and love to be loved! ;-D
S is a people dog. He loves company. And he really loves kids--though most times they don't always love this big, dark caramel colored (some say, chocolate) Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He's probably 80 lbs, more or less. He really, reeeeeaaally does not like to be left alone.
One night last week, he apparently got tired of hubby and me going back and forth between the kitchen and living room to watch the tube while we were eating dinner. Right when I was ready to get up to get seconds, S got up on the couch and plopped himself down, with his forelegs and huge paws that I love so much sprawled across my lap, and his head, leaning against me. He looked up at me as if to say, "How can you possibly resist ME? I love you!" %-D
Well, how could I? I couldn't. I asked hubby to please bring me a second helping of sauteed Chinese cabbage (with garlic). Yum! And I ate it right in front of S, with his longing, searching eyes fixed on me, and telling him, "You ought not to think I'm being cruel to eat in front of you like this, because you've trapped me!"
It's hard to describe just how loving S is; he just loves EVERYBODY. Including strangers! That's not good guard dog material! ;-)
Actually, he's got a fearsome growl, so, better not take him for granted! Chesapeakes are one of the most loyal, possessive breeds out there, so no one better mess with his owner or his family!! We've already tested him out at home.
He's very sensitive, too. The last couple of days, hubby and I have had to put eye drops in his eyes, again, for an eye infection. It's a battle. I'm sure any dog owner knows this already, but our S sure hates it, despite all the petting and cooing we do to calm him down. We put drops in 3x today. And tonight, he showed his resentment towards us quite clearly. Though we tried to give him our assurances of love --with a treat thrown in, he probably felt betrayed! He was unresponsive toward our entreaties of affection. Didn't want to play at all. :-(
I hope he'll forgive us soon! ;-0
Now I know why people love their pets so much. I used to think they were crazy to have such love and compassion for a non-human! I must be one of those crazies, today! I still think that humans come first on the food chain...but that does not lessen my love for S in any way.
He's my buddy. My goof partner. The one who puts things into perspective in an instant when things seem gloomy. My sweet, stinky friend who leaves hair balls and dirty pawprints on my floor. The one who greets me every morning with a happy face. Who wants to kiss me all over when I'm going through my yoga routine each morning. My four-legged child who doesn't want me to leave him at night.
He's my guy.
After hubby, that is! ;-)
Woof woof!!
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner (1946-1989), American comedienne and actress
oof...how mushy! %-0
Many people like to brag about their children for various reasons. Ace in school. Top dog on the soccer team. First chair violinist in the school orchestra. Little Einstein. Future president. Future American Idol contestant. You name it.
I like to yak about my child, too. My four-legged child. :-)
He's not really mine: he belongs to my father in-law. But hubby and I care for him mostly, especially during the weekdays. So it is almost like having a kid, I imagine.
You have to feed him, make sure he has plenty of water to drink, make sure he has plenty of playtime, take care of him if he gets sick, and make sure he has plenty of tender loving care.
He's great: he doesn't talk back! No lip from S. Only looks. Poor, pitiful me looks. Or, I'm so happy I could lick you all over looks! Or, you have betrayed me looks.
I talked about S in my last post. And I don't usually repeat a subject twice in row. But this guy: I can't help it! :-)
He is incredibly gentle, sensitive, and sweet, even though he is often stinky, from swimming in the river or rolling in the garden fresh from being fertilized with chicken shit, or very rarely, rolled in dead meat...literally. Eww! Some sort of evolutionary mechanism I'd rather not know about...!
S is the most loving, four-legged creature I know. Which is to say, the only four-legged creature I know personally, if can indeed put it that way. He's a lover dog, not a fighter dog, which suits me perfectly. I love love, and love to be loved! ;-D
S is a people dog. He loves company. And he really loves kids--though most times they don't always love this big, dark caramel colored (some say, chocolate) Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He's probably 80 lbs, more or less. He really, reeeeeaaally does not like to be left alone.
One night last week, he apparently got tired of hubby and me going back and forth between the kitchen and living room to watch the tube while we were eating dinner. Right when I was ready to get up to get seconds, S got up on the couch and plopped himself down, with his forelegs and huge paws that I love so much sprawled across my lap, and his head, leaning against me. He looked up at me as if to say, "How can you possibly resist ME? I love you!" %-D
Well, how could I? I couldn't. I asked hubby to please bring me a second helping of sauteed Chinese cabbage (with garlic). Yum! And I ate it right in front of S, with his longing, searching eyes fixed on me, and telling him, "You ought not to think I'm being cruel to eat in front of you like this, because you've trapped me!"
It's hard to describe just how loving S is; he just loves EVERYBODY. Including strangers! That's not good guard dog material! ;-)
Actually, he's got a fearsome growl, so, better not take him for granted! Chesapeakes are one of the most loyal, possessive breeds out there, so no one better mess with his owner or his family!! We've already tested him out at home.
He's very sensitive, too. The last couple of days, hubby and I have had to put eye drops in his eyes, again, for an eye infection. It's a battle. I'm sure any dog owner knows this already, but our S sure hates it, despite all the petting and cooing we do to calm him down. We put drops in 3x today. And tonight, he showed his resentment towards us quite clearly. Though we tried to give him our assurances of love --with a treat thrown in, he probably felt betrayed! He was unresponsive toward our entreaties of affection. Didn't want to play at all. :-(
I hope he'll forgive us soon! ;-0
Now I know why people love their pets so much. I used to think they were crazy to have such love and compassion for a non-human! I must be one of those crazies, today! I still think that humans come first on the food chain...but that does not lessen my love for S in any way.
He's my buddy. My goof partner. The one who puts things into perspective in an instant when things seem gloomy. My sweet, stinky friend who leaves hair balls and dirty pawprints on my floor. The one who greets me every morning with a happy face. Who wants to kiss me all over when I'm going through my yoga routine each morning. My four-legged child who doesn't want me to leave him at night.
He's my guy.
After hubby, that is! ;-)
Woof woof!!
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner (1946-1989), American comedienne and actress
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I Wish This Dog Could Talk (clean my floor, wash my dishes, read a book, etc!)
I LOVE my father in-law's Chesapeake Bay Retriever, S. If he could talk, I'm sure he'd remind me that I've been neglecting my blog.
S is a gentle soul. Goofiest being I ever met! I never in my life imagined I'd be so attached to a four-legged creature as I have become to him. He's my buddy. He's the live Snoopy I have adored all my life (in the Peanuts cartoon strip)! :-)
I can be annoyed with him, and he will forgive me. Present-tense animal: he's not likely to remember what happened 10 hours ago (I don't think!).
He's sensitive, like me. If anyone hollers at him that he's bad or to get out of the way when that person is working, he'll quickly back off and keep his distance. I would do the same. Nobody wants to be another person's punching bag when she or he is in a bad mood. I sure as hell don't. And I can tell S doesn't either. When I see he's been hurt, my heart goes to him...and I try to give him lots of J love, which often comes in the form of massages. I am, after all, a licensed massage therapist! ;-)
If I accidentally step on him, open the door wide open (w/o looking to see if he's there), or become sharp with him, I will always apologize right away.
Fil leaves S here during much of the week, so hubby and I are with him most of the time. This is the closest we'll ever come to being parents. ;-D
As S is an action dog and requires vigorous physical activity, we try to play with him, and take him out swimming in the river everyday (while we take it easy in the canoe!). Yes, I know, we have it good! And so does he--but he doesn't know it, I don't think. Or maybe he does? ;-) He sure knows where the comfortable spots are in our home and my parents in-law's home!
That's why I wish he could talk and tell me what's he's thinking! Instead, I'm left to interpret his gestures, and deep, penetrating gazes. What do they mean?
For example:
Getting on the couch and turning his back toward me.
You hurt my feelings!
I am really pissed at you (because you won't throw my stinky toy around the living room)!
Sitting very still before me while I'm on the sofa snacking on popcorn, ice cream or some other dessert, and gazing at me with great intensity:
Can I have some?
When are you going to share with me?
You know you love me! Why aren't you sharing with me?
Putting his chin on my arm while I'm eating dinner and gazing at me with great intensity:
I love you! Will you share some of your dinner with me?
If I look at you long enough like this, I bet you'll give me a piece of fish/veggie/whatever's on your plate!
Plopping down on the floor loudly and with a *sigh*:
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo completely booooooooooooooooored!
You're ignoring me! I'm gonna turn my back on you since you're not paying attention to me!
No one wants to play with me? Humph! (plop!)
No one at the table is going to share her/his food with me? *tsk*!! (plop!)
I am sooooooooooooooooooooo completely tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired!
When he sees something unfamiliar in a familiar place--patio furniture, laundry hanging outside, a ladder in the house, a spider or an insect, and he starts barking ferociously as if they're enemy combatants:
Oh, my God! What the heck is going on here? Where did these invaders come from?!
You better watch out! I'm gonna get you if you move! I'm here to protect the family!
What are you doing HERE? Get out! Go away! I'LL take care of YOU!
When he runs up to every visitor and wants to lick them all over:
Oh, oh! COMPANY! I LOVE COMPANY!!
I LOVE YOU! (I don't care if you're family or the mailman!)
LOVE ME! Please love me! Pet me! Shower your affections upon me!
When he lets out deep, soulful barks as he first jumps into the water, whether river or swimming pool, and also while swimming and then finding shallow spots to hold himself high and go off on a barking frenzy:
Oh God! THIS is what I've been waiting for ALL day! %-D
This is how life should BE! Hear my bark echo throughout the town! Let me fool J into thinking there is more than one dog here!!
Why aren't you guys in the water with ME?!?!
LOOK AT ME! WATCH ME!
The deep, piercing look of utter disbelief and betrayal when we leave him alone at night or when going out to run errands:
Again? How can you do this to me yet again?
I cannot believe this is happening to me!
No! Please don't leave me! Are you really going?
What other things does he do?
I know that when he sits in front of me or lies down on his side, he wants a massage. Sometimes he gets three (mini) massages in a day!
Or, if he goes into the dining room, looks back at me, then looks toward the kitchen, it means he wants to go out.
If outside, and he's facing away from the door, he's not ready to come in.
Those three things~I don't need him to talk to me then!
He also messes up my floor. That's what I get for allowing him in our cottage, which I didn't allow for the first 10 months he was here. But when I saw him napping so peacefully on our sofa the first time, he had me wrapped around his paw...I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. He was just too cute, and looked so happy! :-)
Living out in the country is very peaceful. But it's also a lot dirtier, with more bugs (BIGGER bugs!) and spiders. I never aspired to be a domestic goddess--I've got better things to do with my time, and housework to me is a Sisyphean endeavor, but as I have let my beloved four-legged buddy into our humble domain, I must contend with cleaning more, because our kitchen floor is white, and EVERYTHING shows. :-( Ugh!
If only S would use his big tongue to lap up his dirty pawprints! %-0 After all, he's like a vacuum cleaner in the water, seemingly sucking up any leaf or piece of bark that floats by (but not always keeping it).
And because he's such a people person, he wants to be where the people are, even if we are doing such a mundane chore as washing dishes. He'll walk right up to us and want attention...but he never offers to help! :-(
This dog is SO easily bored. He can let the world know with the loudest, deepest sighs! %-0 He sniffs our books on our bookshelves, occasionally. I'll bet he's envious of us reading books, seeing fil read the newspaper, or watching us on the computer! ;-)
What a dog he would be if he could discuss great literature, the news, solve a mathematical proof for hubby (or fix a computer bug!)!
Could he be thinking:
I am soooooo jealous! Why can't dogs do what humans can do?
Wishful thinking, eh? It's probably more like:
You humans! This is so incredibly boring to lie here and watch you read/work on the computer/watch the tube! You should be OUTSIDE, running around, chasing geese and rabbits and squirrels! Getting your paws muddy! Getting yourself dirty and stinky! THAT'S LIVING! %-D
Whatever he thinks, it must be intense because his head is always warm (like mine!). Once he laid his head on my lap and it was so hot that I began to wonder if he was going to burn a hole in my jeans!!
Talk or no talk, I love S very much. He's the ultimate goof partner, and reminds me of what's important in life: to be yourself and be free!
Whenever I might fall into a sour mood, hubby brings S over to help me put things into perspective: the world is not coming to an end (though S often sulks!)! CHILL! Just look at ME! :-D
Woof woof!!
"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."
- Anonymous
S is a gentle soul. Goofiest being I ever met! I never in my life imagined I'd be so attached to a four-legged creature as I have become to him. He's my buddy. He's the live Snoopy I have adored all my life (in the Peanuts cartoon strip)! :-)
I can be annoyed with him, and he will forgive me. Present-tense animal: he's not likely to remember what happened 10 hours ago (I don't think!).
He's sensitive, like me. If anyone hollers at him that he's bad or to get out of the way when that person is working, he'll quickly back off and keep his distance. I would do the same. Nobody wants to be another person's punching bag when she or he is in a bad mood. I sure as hell don't. And I can tell S doesn't either. When I see he's been hurt, my heart goes to him...and I try to give him lots of J love, which often comes in the form of massages. I am, after all, a licensed massage therapist! ;-)
If I accidentally step on him, open the door wide open (w/o looking to see if he's there), or become sharp with him, I will always apologize right away.
Fil leaves S here during much of the week, so hubby and I are with him most of the time. This is the closest we'll ever come to being parents. ;-D
As S is an action dog and requires vigorous physical activity, we try to play with him, and take him out swimming in the river everyday (while we take it easy in the canoe!). Yes, I know, we have it good! And so does he--but he doesn't know it, I don't think. Or maybe he does? ;-) He sure knows where the comfortable spots are in our home and my parents in-law's home!
That's why I wish he could talk and tell me what's he's thinking! Instead, I'm left to interpret his gestures, and deep, penetrating gazes. What do they mean?
For example:
Getting on the couch and turning his back toward me.
You hurt my feelings!
I am really pissed at you (because you won't throw my stinky toy around the living room)!
Sitting very still before me while I'm on the sofa snacking on popcorn, ice cream or some other dessert, and gazing at me with great intensity:
Can I have some?
When are you going to share with me?
You know you love me! Why aren't you sharing with me?
Putting his chin on my arm while I'm eating dinner and gazing at me with great intensity:
I love you! Will you share some of your dinner with me?
If I look at you long enough like this, I bet you'll give me a piece of fish/veggie/whatever's on your plate!
Plopping down on the floor loudly and with a *sigh*:
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo completely booooooooooooooooored!
You're ignoring me! I'm gonna turn my back on you since you're not paying attention to me!
No one wants to play with me? Humph! (plop!)
No one at the table is going to share her/his food with me? *tsk*!! (plop!)
I am sooooooooooooooooooooo completely tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired!
When he sees something unfamiliar in a familiar place--patio furniture, laundry hanging outside, a ladder in the house, a spider or an insect, and he starts barking ferociously as if they're enemy combatants:
Oh, my God! What the heck is going on here? Where did these invaders come from?!
You better watch out! I'm gonna get you if you move! I'm here to protect the family!
What are you doing HERE? Get out! Go away! I'LL take care of YOU!
When he runs up to every visitor and wants to lick them all over:
Oh, oh! COMPANY! I LOVE COMPANY!!
I LOVE YOU! (I don't care if you're family or the mailman!)
LOVE ME! Please love me! Pet me! Shower your affections upon me!
When he lets out deep, soulful barks as he first jumps into the water, whether river or swimming pool, and also while swimming and then finding shallow spots to hold himself high and go off on a barking frenzy:
Oh God! THIS is what I've been waiting for ALL day! %-D
This is how life should BE! Hear my bark echo throughout the town! Let me fool J into thinking there is more than one dog here!!
Why aren't you guys in the water with ME?!?!
LOOK AT ME! WATCH ME!
The deep, piercing look of utter disbelief and betrayal when we leave him alone at night or when going out to run errands:
Again? How can you do this to me yet again?
I cannot believe this is happening to me!
No! Please don't leave me! Are you really going?
What other things does he do?
I know that when he sits in front of me or lies down on his side, he wants a massage. Sometimes he gets three (mini) massages in a day!
Or, if he goes into the dining room, looks back at me, then looks toward the kitchen, it means he wants to go out.
If outside, and he's facing away from the door, he's not ready to come in.
Those three things~I don't need him to talk to me then!
He also messes up my floor. That's what I get for allowing him in our cottage, which I didn't allow for the first 10 months he was here. But when I saw him napping so peacefully on our sofa the first time, he had me wrapped around his paw...I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. He was just too cute, and looked so happy! :-)
Living out in the country is very peaceful. But it's also a lot dirtier, with more bugs (BIGGER bugs!) and spiders. I never aspired to be a domestic goddess--I've got better things to do with my time, and housework to me is a Sisyphean endeavor, but as I have let my beloved four-legged buddy into our humble domain, I must contend with cleaning more, because our kitchen floor is white, and EVERYTHING shows. :-( Ugh!
If only S would use his big tongue to lap up his dirty pawprints! %-0 After all, he's like a vacuum cleaner in the water, seemingly sucking up any leaf or piece of bark that floats by (but not always keeping it).
And because he's such a people person, he wants to be where the people are, even if we are doing such a mundane chore as washing dishes. He'll walk right up to us and want attention...but he never offers to help! :-(
This dog is SO easily bored. He can let the world know with the loudest, deepest sighs! %-0 He sniffs our books on our bookshelves, occasionally. I'll bet he's envious of us reading books, seeing fil read the newspaper, or watching us on the computer! ;-)
What a dog he would be if he could discuss great literature, the news, solve a mathematical proof for hubby (or fix a computer bug!)!
Could he be thinking:
I am soooooo jealous! Why can't dogs do what humans can do?
Wishful thinking, eh? It's probably more like:
You humans! This is so incredibly boring to lie here and watch you read/work on the computer/watch the tube! You should be OUTSIDE, running around, chasing geese and rabbits and squirrels! Getting your paws muddy! Getting yourself dirty and stinky! THAT'S LIVING! %-D
Whatever he thinks, it must be intense because his head is always warm (like mine!). Once he laid his head on my lap and it was so hot that I began to wonder if he was going to burn a hole in my jeans!!
Talk or no talk, I love S very much. He's the ultimate goof partner, and reminds me of what's important in life: to be yourself and be free!
Whenever I might fall into a sour mood, hubby brings S over to help me put things into perspective: the world is not coming to an end (though S often sulks!)! CHILL! Just look at ME! :-D
Woof woof!!
"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."
- Anonymous
Friday, January 22, 2010
Trust Women
This post is in response to NARAL Pro-Choice America's Blog for Choice Day 2010, to "to raise the profile of reproductive rights in the blogosphere, all the while celebrating Roe's 37th anniversary".
I firmly believe that a woman's right to choose is a core progressive value that must be protected and advanced, and this is why I have decided to participate.
This year's theme is Trust Women. It is what was written on a button that the late (murdered) Dr. Tiller wore.
What does Trust Women mean to me?
I will tell you exactly what it means to me: it means respecting women. It means you regard us as equal and worthy human beings as men are. No less. And TRUSTING us to make our own decisions about our own bodies~our reproductive health.
MY BODY IS MINE. No government, deity, religious organization, family member, or even my spouse, owns my body. I am NOT a piece of property to be ruled by, interfered with, invaded by, or controlled by any of the aforementioned. Certainly, NOT without my consent, if I were so brainless to allow it.
Respect brings trust. That is how I feel.
I doubt there is any man on planet earth who would want his partner, family, church, or government trying to control the decisions he would make about what he does with his health. His body. Is there no fairness here? Let's do what we want with women's bodies, counsel us on what we should or should not do, and condescendingly tell us that others know what's best for us? Override our concerns, decisions, even civil rights? To hell with what we want? But please, leave the men alone?
I will say right now that I don't like abortion. I'd like to think most people don't, though some wing-nuts out there would paint all pro-choice activists as abortion lovers, and that the ones who have them do it willy-nilly. Legal or not, women will always seek to terminate an unwanted pregnancy as they probably have throughout history. However, on this touchy subject, I agree with President Obama: that it should be safe, legal and rare.
There is little I can say about the subject of abortion, as I have never faced the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. But having been threatened with rape once...and having been friends with a woman who was raped at gunpoint, I know the very real fear AND anger, of the danger of my person being violated in the worst way. And seeing up close how being violated has scarred a friend forever.
What happened to the rapist, the criminal? I don't know. Maybe he got a slap on the wrist (a few years in jail?), or most likely, he escaped with impunity...continuing to violate and ruin more women's lives. Why is the onus always on the woman? Where is there accountability on the man (or boy) who may have impregnated her? Is there ever talk of self-control on his part? Responsibility? Why is he allowed to screw up the life of a woman, while he can go off and have his fun with impunity as society turns her into a villain, engaging in useless speculation on where she was, what she was wearing, etc., and focusing all the blame on her, instead of the criminal and the crime itself. Why is there no talk of male responsibility?
I deeply empathize with those women who live in fear of the unknown. They may have big dreams of advanced education, career, family, whatever. And my heart aches when I read stories of those couples who turned to Dr. Tiller (on his memorial page), when unforseen medical problems arose in the third trimester were deemed by medical specialists as hopeless for the fetus--and possibly dangerous for the mother, compelling them to make an excruciatingly painful decision to terminate the pregnancy.
That was THEIR decision to make, ultimately. THEIR bodies. THEIR private lives.THEIR CHOICE. Does Uncle Sam or the holier-than-thou religious harassers at women's health clinics have any empathy for women? Do they have any clue what fear, violence, or violation of their most intimate parts might feel like? From their blind, violent outrages, it wouldn't seem so.
Who does the government or religious people think they are to interfere? Some talk about less government interference in people's lives, but have no compunction about telling a woman what to do with her body. Take for example "Crisis Pregnancy Centers": in reality, many have turned out to be centers of proselytizing on taxpayer monies, giving no medical information, or misinformation, to vulnerable women.
That in itself is a public health threat. It is dangerous. They are using taxpayers' hard-earned money for deceptive practices. False advertising. Not all crisis centers are like this (I hope), but many seem to be, from the news I've read over the years.
That is NOT respectful toward women. There is no trust there.
And reproductive rights extends beyond having the choice to terminate a pregnancy, especially in the case of rape, incest, threat to the mother's health, or a prognosis of the fetus' quality of life (based on sound medical advice). What about getting second or third opinions and being denied that option because a doctor or court "knows best"?
Or the excess amount of C-sections and hysterectomies being perfomed in this country--often for NON-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors? Why are there 600,000 hysterectomies performed in the USA each year, many of which are medically unnecessary?
Are our bodies just something the medical establishment can profit off of that easily, while we deal and suffer with a myriad of subsequent health issues stemming from unnecessary, radical surgeries?
I don't call that respect towards women. Certainly, not trust.
NO ONE is going to control, invade, interfere, or rule over my decisions over my body, my reproductive health. Not least without MY consent. My body is mine. No government nor deity or religious organzation has any right to control me...my body.
Stay out of my womb. I am not a piece of property. Nor a doormat.
I respect myself too much to blindly let anyone--or anything, dictate what I should do with my body. I have a pretty good brain inside me~I can make intelligent, informed decisions in consultation with my health care provider if I am told something isn't quite right. I do my research whenever I am told something is amiss inside me. And I encourage every woman to do likewise.
It's your body.
As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive, misogynistic one. I want to live in a world where women are regarded as equal and worthy as men are. And I am ready and willing to stand up and fight for that, tooth and nail, if need be.
Trust Women! It would be an honor to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousins, and friends...to all the women who came before them, and all the women who come after them.
That is what I believe. For me to believe otherwise would be an insult to the women in my family. To their dignity.
That is what Trust Women means to me.
“The best proof of love is trust.”
~Dr. Joyce Brothers, American psychologist, (1927)
I firmly believe that a woman's right to choose is a core progressive value that must be protected and advanced, and this is why I have decided to participate.
This year's theme is Trust Women. It is what was written on a button that the late (murdered) Dr. Tiller wore.
What does Trust Women mean to me?
I will tell you exactly what it means to me: it means respecting women. It means you regard us as equal and worthy human beings as men are. No less. And TRUSTING us to make our own decisions about our own bodies~our reproductive health.
MY BODY IS MINE. No government, deity, religious organization, family member, or even my spouse, owns my body. I am NOT a piece of property to be ruled by, interfered with, invaded by, or controlled by any of the aforementioned. Certainly, NOT without my consent, if I were so brainless to allow it.
Respect brings trust. That is how I feel.
I doubt there is any man on planet earth who would want his partner, family, church, or government trying to control the decisions he would make about what he does with his health. His body. Is there no fairness here? Let's do what we want with women's bodies, counsel us on what we should or should not do, and condescendingly tell us that others know what's best for us? Override our concerns, decisions, even civil rights? To hell with what we want? But please, leave the men alone?
I will say right now that I don't like abortion. I'd like to think most people don't, though some wing-nuts out there would paint all pro-choice activists as abortion lovers, and that the ones who have them do it willy-nilly. Legal or not, women will always seek to terminate an unwanted pregnancy as they probably have throughout history. However, on this touchy subject, I agree with President Obama: that it should be safe, legal and rare.
There is little I can say about the subject of abortion, as I have never faced the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. But having been threatened with rape once...and having been friends with a woman who was raped at gunpoint, I know the very real fear AND anger, of the danger of my person being violated in the worst way. And seeing up close how being violated has scarred a friend forever.
What happened to the rapist, the criminal? I don't know. Maybe he got a slap on the wrist (a few years in jail?), or most likely, he escaped with impunity...continuing to violate and ruin more women's lives. Why is the onus always on the woman? Where is there accountability on the man (or boy) who may have impregnated her? Is there ever talk of self-control on his part? Responsibility? Why is he allowed to screw up the life of a woman, while he can go off and have his fun with impunity as society turns her into a villain, engaging in useless speculation on where she was, what she was wearing, etc., and focusing all the blame on her, instead of the criminal and the crime itself. Why is there no talk of male responsibility?
I deeply empathize with those women who live in fear of the unknown. They may have big dreams of advanced education, career, family, whatever. And my heart aches when I read stories of those couples who turned to Dr. Tiller (on his memorial page), when unforseen medical problems arose in the third trimester were deemed by medical specialists as hopeless for the fetus--and possibly dangerous for the mother, compelling them to make an excruciatingly painful decision to terminate the pregnancy.
That was THEIR decision to make, ultimately. THEIR bodies. THEIR private lives.THEIR CHOICE. Does Uncle Sam or the holier-than-thou religious harassers at women's health clinics have any empathy for women? Do they have any clue what fear, violence, or violation of their most intimate parts might feel like? From their blind, violent outrages, it wouldn't seem so.
Who does the government or religious people think they are to interfere? Some talk about less government interference in people's lives, but have no compunction about telling a woman what to do with her body. Take for example "Crisis Pregnancy Centers": in reality, many have turned out to be centers of proselytizing on taxpayer monies, giving no medical information, or misinformation, to vulnerable women.
That in itself is a public health threat. It is dangerous. They are using taxpayers' hard-earned money for deceptive practices. False advertising. Not all crisis centers are like this (I hope), but many seem to be, from the news I've read over the years.
That is NOT respectful toward women. There is no trust there.
And reproductive rights extends beyond having the choice to terminate a pregnancy, especially in the case of rape, incest, threat to the mother's health, or a prognosis of the fetus' quality of life (based on sound medical advice). What about getting second or third opinions and being denied that option because a doctor or court "knows best"?
Or the excess amount of C-sections and hysterectomies being perfomed in this country--often for NON-cancerous uterine fibroid tumors? Why are there 600,000 hysterectomies performed in the USA each year, many of which are medically unnecessary?
Are our bodies just something the medical establishment can profit off of that easily, while we deal and suffer with a myriad of subsequent health issues stemming from unnecessary, radical surgeries?
I don't call that respect towards women. Certainly, not trust.
NO ONE is going to control, invade, interfere, or rule over my decisions over my body, my reproductive health. Not least without MY consent. My body is mine. No government nor deity or religious organzation has any right to control me...my body.
Stay out of my womb. I am not a piece of property. Nor a doormat.
I respect myself too much to blindly let anyone--or anything, dictate what I should do with my body. I have a pretty good brain inside me~I can make intelligent, informed decisions in consultation with my health care provider if I am told something isn't quite right. I do my research whenever I am told something is amiss inside me. And I encourage every woman to do likewise.
It's your body.
As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive, misogynistic one. I want to live in a world where women are regarded as equal and worthy as men are. And I am ready and willing to stand up and fight for that, tooth and nail, if need be.
Trust Women! It would be an honor to your mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousins, and friends...to all the women who came before them, and all the women who come after them.
That is what I believe. For me to believe otherwise would be an insult to the women in my family. To their dignity.
That is what Trust Women means to me.
“The best proof of love is trust.”
~Dr. Joyce Brothers, American psychologist, (1927)
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Spider Hell
BOO!
Spiders freak me out!
I dropped an eight pound bag of multi flavored dog biscuits on a medium sized spider the other day. On purpose. And I dropped it 2x...just to make sure.
Last weekend, my 11 year old nephew, who was camping out at his mom mom and pop pop's house (which is only a couple hundred feet away from us) with his siblings, came out of the bedroom to report a spider in the bedroom. He and his younger sister and brother were sharing the big bed, and apparently did not want to have spider company.
J (nephew): Uh...there's a big spider in the bedroom!
Uncle B: Well, why don't you kill it then?
J: (almost wincing) But, it's BIG!
UB: Oh, C'mon now! You're like 100 times bigger than it!
J: Please?
me: oh, B...go do it! %-0
So Uncle B went and took care of the spider. But since he likes those creatures, he doesn't kill them. He took his shirt off, gathered it up as if putting a baby in a blanket (!), and took it outside to free it. I told J that I didn't like spiders, either...I think that reassured him, since hubby was teasing him. ;-)
I got B to take care of another his eight-legged friends when I saw one hanging from the ceiling one night this week. If he is around, I ask him to take care of it. If not, the spider has no future with me!
Yesterday, I drowned one in the kitchen sink, and vacuumed up another in the utility room. I had some mercy on it for about a record-breaking month, because hubby wouldn't take it out, saying, "it's not hurting anything". Yes it was: it was hurting my field of vision in that small corner of the room! %-0 Unfortunately, I sucked up a couple of ladybugs in the process of vacuuming up cobwebs and spiders. I LOVE ladybugs!
Oh! And then the other night, fil's puppy, S: I pointed out the medium sized spider to him and he chased it in a small space of the living room of mil/fil's house! He squashed it with his big paw (he does have large, cute paws!). He kept at it, smashing it repeatedly, as in, spider overkill! %-0 Then, like me, he kept examining it, to make sure it was deceased. :-)
It was actually pretty funny to watch him go after the spider! And I thanked him for helping me! I know hubby was probably not pleased about the spider's fate, but he was laughing with me at S, too!
Hubby, my friends and family will tell you I don't like eight-legged arachnoids. They're just...creepy!
Where do I trace my intense hatred for them? (okay, well...HATE might be a strong word, especially since I think reeeeeaaally tiny ones that are colorful, are somewhat cute--as long as they're not in my home!)
I have a clear photographic memory of riding my tricycle around the block, with my mom following me. I was probably in preschool then. I remember my mom stopping to talk with a neighbor. You know that when you're very small, and you're hanging around when adults talk, it seems like eternity, right? I happened to feel something crawling on me...I looked down, and was completely horrified by this big, black, chunky spider on my leg! Now I call them Schwarzenegger spiders, in honor of the governor of CA! Actually, I called them that before he became governor...when he was still the Terminator.
I kept trying to get my mother's attention, calling out to her as if my life were in mortal danger: "MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!" %-0 Finally, she got annoyed with my interruptions of her conversation with the neighbor and my tugging at her pants,
"WHAT is it?" she asked, exasperated. (someone like me doesn't forget the tone of their mother's voice in grave situations like these!)
"Mommy!" I whimpered, "Spi--spider! SPIIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRRRRR" I sniffed.
"Where is it?" she asked impatiently
"My l--leg!" I pointed to the creature, which was very still on my leg.
What did my mommy do? She bent down and whacked it on my leg! Gave me a spider tatoo! And went on talking with the neighbor as if nothing happened! %-0
Do you even think I would forget this traumatic experience? No way! I whined again to her, and she curtly said, "It's dead. It's not going anywhere!"
How do you know? It might come back to life! :-(
I couldn't express that then, but that's what I was thinking, since I kept staring at the spider corpse tattoo on my leg, even all the way back down the street to our house, with Mom scolding me for not looking where I was going as I was probably running my tricycle either into her legs or off the sidewalk.
When I tell hubby to take his friend out, I ask him to please take the spider WAY past the door. ;-)
He asks: Do you actually think it's going to come back and get you?
Yes, of course it will!
I just don't want to give it a second chance to come back to terrorize me!
And there's another incident: seeing the movie Charlotte's Web. I had nightmares from watching that friendly spider! My brother was not home for some reason and I wanted to sleep in his room! Selfish little sister ME wants to get away from big sister! (sorry Sis!). I was
That night after I saw it, I dreamt his entire bedroom ceiling was covered with crawling black spiders! %-0 And I screamed (yelled?) and caused Mom and Sis to run to the room. While they were trying to ask me what was wrong and calming me down, I sobbed that there were black spiders crawling all over the ceiling!
Where, honey?
Look up!
See? There's nothing there!
Well, in my mind they were there! They just didn't see them! :-(
On another occasion, when I was home alone with my sister, I came to the door in a fit because I thought I'd run into a gigantic cobweb...and thus, potentially a gigantic spider. ;-) Poor sister thought I was hurt, because (I think) I was crying and screaming. When she asked me what's wrong, I kept saying, "SPIIIIIIDERR! SPIIIDER".
But she saw no spider. Nor a cobweb. I was quite sure I ran into SOMETHING! I'm sure she could imitate what I did that day, if you wanted to know. ;-)
Does all this make clear to you that I have a lifetime intense dislike for arachnids? I don't think I'll ever get over it!
Now that we're really living in the sticks, I've been exposed to A LOT more creatures. The kind I like (ladybugs, wooley worms, tiny frogs and toads), and the kind I that makes me wince: spiders, daddy long-legs, wasps, yellow jackets). I don't like snakes or mice, either--unless they're in cartoon form or behind a glass enclosure (!), but they don't scare me like spiders and insects.
I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in Spider Hell for all the spiders I've destroyed?
Or maybe not, since I don't believe in heaven or hell.
Or maybe I'll return in another life as an arachnid?
Or maybe this is all nonsensical?
All I know is: I'm seeing more spiders this year than last year, when we first moved down here. Yes, I know they're part of our planet and they eat bad things that we don't want to know about...but I do not like them at all.
Woe be to the eight-legged creature who crosses my path! %-0
HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Spiders freak me out!
I dropped an eight pound bag of multi flavored dog biscuits on a medium sized spider the other day. On purpose. And I dropped it 2x...just to make sure.
Last weekend, my 11 year old nephew, who was camping out at his mom mom and pop pop's house (which is only a couple hundred feet away from us) with his siblings, came out of the bedroom to report a spider in the bedroom. He and his younger sister and brother were sharing the big bed, and apparently did not want to have spider company.
J (nephew): Uh...there's a big spider in the bedroom!
Uncle B: Well, why don't you kill it then?
J: (almost wincing) But, it's BIG!
UB: Oh, C'mon now! You're like 100 times bigger than it!
J: Please?
me: oh, B...go do it! %-0
So Uncle B went and took care of the spider. But since he likes those creatures, he doesn't kill them. He took his shirt off, gathered it up as if putting a baby in a blanket (!), and took it outside to free it. I told J that I didn't like spiders, either...I think that reassured him, since hubby was teasing him. ;-)
I got B to take care of another his eight-legged friends when I saw one hanging from the ceiling one night this week. If he is around, I ask him to take care of it. If not, the spider has no future with me!
Yesterday, I drowned one in the kitchen sink, and vacuumed up another in the utility room. I had some mercy on it for about a record-breaking month, because hubby wouldn't take it out, saying, "it's not hurting anything". Yes it was: it was hurting my field of vision in that small corner of the room! %-0 Unfortunately, I sucked up a couple of ladybugs in the process of vacuuming up cobwebs and spiders. I LOVE ladybugs!
Oh! And then the other night, fil's puppy, S: I pointed out the medium sized spider to him and he chased it in a small space of the living room of mil/fil's house! He squashed it with his big paw (he does have large, cute paws!). He kept at it, smashing it repeatedly, as in, spider overkill! %-0 Then, like me, he kept examining it, to make sure it was deceased. :-)
It was actually pretty funny to watch him go after the spider! And I thanked him for helping me! I know hubby was probably not pleased about the spider's fate, but he was laughing with me at S, too!
Hubby, my friends and family will tell you I don't like eight-legged arachnoids. They're just...creepy!
Where do I trace my intense hatred for them? (okay, well...HATE might be a strong word, especially since I think reeeeeaaally tiny ones that are colorful, are somewhat cute--as long as they're not in my home!)
I have a clear photographic memory of riding my tricycle around the block, with my mom following me. I was probably in preschool then. I remember my mom stopping to talk with a neighbor. You know that when you're very small, and you're hanging around when adults talk, it seems like eternity, right? I happened to feel something crawling on me...I looked down, and was completely horrified by this big, black, chunky spider on my leg! Now I call them Schwarzenegger spiders, in honor of the governor of CA! Actually, I called them that before he became governor...when he was still the Terminator.
I kept trying to get my mother's attention, calling out to her as if my life were in mortal danger: "MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!" %-0 Finally, she got annoyed with my interruptions of her conversation with the neighbor and my tugging at her pants,
"WHAT is it?" she asked, exasperated. (someone like me doesn't forget the tone of their mother's voice in grave situations like these!)
"Mommy!" I whimpered, "Spi--spider! SPIIIIIIIIIDERRRRRRRRRRR" I sniffed.
"Where is it?" she asked impatiently
"My l--leg!" I pointed to the creature, which was very still on my leg.
What did my mommy do? She bent down and whacked it on my leg! Gave me a spider tatoo! And went on talking with the neighbor as if nothing happened! %-0
Do you even think I would forget this traumatic experience? No way! I whined again to her, and she curtly said, "It's dead. It's not going anywhere!"
How do you know? It might come back to life! :-(
I couldn't express that then, but that's what I was thinking, since I kept staring at the spider corpse tattoo on my leg, even all the way back down the street to our house, with Mom scolding me for not looking where I was going as I was probably running my tricycle either into her legs or off the sidewalk.
When I tell hubby to take his friend out, I ask him to please take the spider WAY past the door. ;-)
He asks: Do you actually think it's going to come back and get you?
Yes, of course it will!
I just don't want to give it a second chance to come back to terrorize me!
And there's another incident: seeing the movie Charlotte's Web. I had nightmares from watching that friendly spider! My brother was not home for some reason and I wanted to sleep in his room! Selfish little sister ME wants to get away from big sister! (sorry Sis!). I was
That night after I saw it, I dreamt his entire bedroom ceiling was covered with crawling black spiders! %-0 And I screamed (yelled?) and caused Mom and Sis to run to the room. While they were trying to ask me what was wrong and calming me down, I sobbed that there were black spiders crawling all over the ceiling!
Where, honey?
Look up!
See? There's nothing there!
Well, in my mind they were there! They just didn't see them! :-(
On another occasion, when I was home alone with my sister, I came to the door in a fit because I thought I'd run into a gigantic cobweb...and thus, potentially a gigantic spider. ;-) Poor sister thought I was hurt, because (I think) I was crying and screaming. When she asked me what's wrong, I kept saying, "SPIIIIIIDERR! SPIIIDER".
But she saw no spider. Nor a cobweb. I was quite sure I ran into SOMETHING! I'm sure she could imitate what I did that day, if you wanted to know. ;-)
Does all this make clear to you that I have a lifetime intense dislike for arachnids? I don't think I'll ever get over it!
Now that we're really living in the sticks, I've been exposed to A LOT more creatures. The kind I like (ladybugs, wooley worms, tiny frogs and toads), and the kind I that makes me wince: spiders, daddy long-legs, wasps, yellow jackets). I don't like snakes or mice, either--unless they're in cartoon form or behind a glass enclosure (!), but they don't scare me like spiders and insects.
I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in Spider Hell for all the spiders I've destroyed?
Or maybe not, since I don't believe in heaven or hell.
Or maybe I'll return in another life as an arachnid?
Or maybe this is all nonsensical?
All I know is: I'm seeing more spiders this year than last year, when we first moved down here. Yes, I know they're part of our planet and they eat bad things that we don't want to know about...but I do not like them at all.
Woe be to the eight-legged creature who crosses my path! %-0
HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away
Sunday, October 4, 2009
I Love This! :-)
Peace summit's closing session points way to more inclusive future
For more than 600 years, the god-king of Tibet has been a man. But the 14th Dalai Lama -- Tenzin Gyatso -- said it need not always be so.
Having declared himself a feminist on the opening day of his Vancouver Peace Summit, the Dalai Lama said at the closing session on women and peace-building, "If a female Dalai Lama can be more effective, then why not?"
"It will come. No problem."
(dear Dalai Lama~you are one cool dude. ;-))
Read more from the Vancouver Sun...!
People have confidence in women to get them out of trouble.
~Dorothy Thompson (1893-1961), American journalist
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
In Memoriam to a Dear Friend
There is a deep ache in hubby's and my heart today. A very deep ache. We just learned his best friend~and my dear friend, as well, died this summer. :-((
B was surfing around, looking up the latest activities of our pal when he saw that the first thing on Google that came up was "G--memorial...". First, he thought perhaps it was another person who shared our friend's namesake, but when he went to the page, sure enough, there was a photo of our dear friend.
Talk about shock. :-(
Here we were, waiting for G to get in touch with us, as was his usual way, which--as I wrote on the memorial blogpot site, is testament to G and his sometimes larger than life character...always seeming to find ways to keep touch with EVERYONE in his life in some form.
Really, though: friendship is a two-way street is it not? Both sides must strive to keep in touch, to keep the friendship strong and healthy, if it is to last through years of the good, the bad, and the ugly, which our relationship with G certainly endured. I'm sorry to say that G was much better on the communication grounds than we were, much as I like to pat myself on the back for keeping in touch with others.
He was one of the busiest people we've ever known in life: teaching, researching, counseling, mentoring, traveling, giving presentations. But somehow, he found time to reach his friends. Like us. Calling from the beach while on break from his conference. Calling us before his plane would take off to somewhere (for a conference). Calling us en route to work or a conference. He was always on the move!
Here I am, on Facebook every evening, and never checking his page all summer long, thinking he's too busy having fun with family and friends in India. Mil and fil asked about him, but all we knew was that he was going to Nairobi, Kenya, to act as chaperone for his nephew, to meet up with G's brother. And going on a safari with his nephew. It sounded like the ultimate G vacation to us! Living life to the fullest! :-)
No word from G all summer long. A little unusual, but we didn't think much of it. And now, today, we discover that the world has been without one, incredible human being since June 29. How dumbstruck do you think we feel? And regretful we didn't keep in touch more?
At the end of ten days in Kenya~on the day of his return back to his family in Goa, India, he just collapsed and died immediately. :-(
I cannot stop crying. :~(( It is unbelieveable he has left us~WAY too soon. We have known G for almost all our married life~nearly two decades, when we met in a church in the Bay Area--which we all stopped attending long ago. G was our mentor, counselor, big brother, challenger, best friend. He was an integral part of our lives.
We will miss his brilliant mind, his intense presence, his annual visits, his phone calls from everywhere. And for me, I will miss his hearty laughter most of all. It was truly contagious! Few people ever made me laugh as much as he did. ;-)
G's ceaseless, intense support for human rights and justice inspired us to be advocates for the same. He was our inspiration in many facets of life, and he loved to debate us on anything and everything, often playing devil's advocate. He was never afraid to challenge our beliefs and goals, and was always, always supportive. He was respectful of our family members and endeavored to engage them in conversation. He lived lived life to the fullest and was proud of it. :-)) An example to follow. G was the ultimate friend anybody could hope for!
In honoring G's memory, hubby and I will endeavor to become better friends to our friends and become stronger, better advocates for the causes we hold dear to our hearts. ;-)
Though we are QUITE heartbroken and in shock, we know that we have been truly blessed by one incredible human being, loved by many friends around the world, including us. We did not get a chance to say good-bye to our dear friend who enriched our lives immeasurably for the last 18+ years. He was the kind of friend whom you could not IMAGINE life without! The kind of friend whom you wanted around FOREVER. He will be sorely, sorely missed by us.
G, wherever you are, we loved you deeply. You have a place in our hearts forever.
A Time to Talk
B was surfing around, looking up the latest activities of our pal when he saw that the first thing on Google that came up was "G--memorial...". First, he thought perhaps it was another person who shared our friend's namesake, but when he went to the page, sure enough, there was a photo of our dear friend.
Talk about shock. :-(
Here we were, waiting for G to get in touch with us, as was his usual way, which--as I wrote on the memorial blogpot site, is testament to G and his sometimes larger than life character...always seeming to find ways to keep touch with EVERYONE in his life in some form.
Really, though: friendship is a two-way street is it not? Both sides must strive to keep in touch, to keep the friendship strong and healthy, if it is to last through years of the good, the bad, and the ugly, which our relationship with G certainly endured. I'm sorry to say that G was much better on the communication grounds than we were, much as I like to pat myself on the back for keeping in touch with others.
He was one of the busiest people we've ever known in life: teaching, researching, counseling, mentoring, traveling, giving presentations. But somehow, he found time to reach his friends. Like us. Calling from the beach while on break from his conference. Calling us before his plane would take off to somewhere (for a conference). Calling us en route to work or a conference. He was always on the move!
Here I am, on Facebook every evening, and never checking his page all summer long, thinking he's too busy having fun with family and friends in India. Mil and fil asked about him, but all we knew was that he was going to Nairobi, Kenya, to act as chaperone for his nephew, to meet up with G's brother. And going on a safari with his nephew. It sounded like the ultimate G vacation to us! Living life to the fullest! :-)
No word from G all summer long. A little unusual, but we didn't think much of it. And now, today, we discover that the world has been without one, incredible human being since June 29. How dumbstruck do you think we feel? And regretful we didn't keep in touch more?
At the end of ten days in Kenya~on the day of his return back to his family in Goa, India, he just collapsed and died immediately. :-(
I cannot stop crying. :~(( It is unbelieveable he has left us~WAY too soon. We have known G for almost all our married life~nearly two decades, when we met in a church in the Bay Area--which we all stopped attending long ago. G was our mentor, counselor, big brother, challenger, best friend. He was an integral part of our lives.
We will miss his brilliant mind, his intense presence, his annual visits, his phone calls from everywhere. And for me, I will miss his hearty laughter most of all. It was truly contagious! Few people ever made me laugh as much as he did. ;-)
G's ceaseless, intense support for human rights and justice inspired us to be advocates for the same. He was our inspiration in many facets of life, and he loved to debate us on anything and everything, often playing devil's advocate. He was never afraid to challenge our beliefs and goals, and was always, always supportive. He was respectful of our family members and endeavored to engage them in conversation. He lived lived life to the fullest and was proud of it. :-)) An example to follow. G was the ultimate friend anybody could hope for!
In honoring G's memory, hubby and I will endeavor to become better friends to our friends and become stronger, better advocates for the causes we hold dear to our hearts. ;-)
Though we are QUITE heartbroken and in shock, we know that we have been truly blessed by one incredible human being, loved by many friends around the world, including us. We did not get a chance to say good-bye to our dear friend who enriched our lives immeasurably for the last 18+ years. He was the kind of friend whom you could not IMAGINE life without! The kind of friend whom you wanted around FOREVER. He will be sorely, sorely missed by us.
G, wherever you are, we loved you deeply. You have a place in our hearts forever.
A Time to Talk
by Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet
When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Unleashed! %-0
“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.”
~Samuel Langhorne Clemens/Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), American author and humorist
If you are having a rotten day, do you use others at your punching bag?
I sure hope I don't. Not as habit anyway. When I have, others have called me to it fairly quickly. An apology is in order, there. ;-)
I have run across punch-baggers in many a store, in family, and a few friends (but friends always give me fair warning, as in, "let me call you back later because I'm in a really, really bad mood!" or explain to me why they are feeling cranky.)
But I am thinking: even when at times I have been majorly stressed out (at least, as adult), I endeavored NOT to use those around me as target practice, because I knew--and know, that they are not the problem. I am.
To help myself put things in perspective--that there is always, ALWAYS, someone out there who has it worse than myself, I even went out of my way after work once a week to volunarily mentor a troubled young girl~who for most of the two years I spent with her, didn't seem to want me there. That was my "therapy" to keep myself calm. ;-)
You might ask: what bought this up, being a punching bag?
I am someone who comes from a temperamental family, but rather than being extremely short-fused, I let things simmer for a long time (days, months, YEARS...!), then I explode! %-0
A terse request in the form of email came this morning. Nothing wrong there. Except that our email system sent my email an hour late, so he didn't get my email~which would have answered his request. I quickly...and angrily resent the letter! That set off my hot lava button!
About what, you ask?
A whole mix of things!
So this is my rant: I'm NOT your fucking punching bag. I am NO ONE's punching bag 0R doormat.
I don't deserve it! You think I do? Do I do it to you? Do you really think so little of me that you have no hesitation in striking out when it suits you?
I'm not taking it anymore! :-( I don't know why I did before, but those days are history. I will call you on it next time you lose control. Ouch!
Whether verbally or on paper, words can kill another's spirit. Or affection for another. Cause a slow death. Or cause loss of respect for others you thought you were supposed to trust. Or genuinely trusted...long ago.
I'm not asking people to be mushy, but for goodness sake, can you leave the hateful venom in the toilet where it belongs? It's often quite palpable these days. :-( (just turn on the news!).
I've come to believe over the years that what comes out of a person's mouth is what is in that person's heart. If you didn't mean it, why the hell did you say it in the first place? I'm not talking about trivial mistakes we all make when trying to explain non-personal things. I'm talking about matters of the heart. Such as when you're angry at something or someone and you lash out at the nearest person, even if that person is a supposed loved one. That's when words can sear you like a steam burn. Or worse.
I have accidentally steam-burned my fingers from an autoclave at work, so I know how painfully nasty that feels like! %-0 Those burn marks fade, but not emotional burns.
Just yesterday, my mom mentioned she thought she was getting more impatient with people in her later years!
Maybe I am, too. Though I'm not sure that's my way. More precisely, I am growing more intolerant of people with meanness. :-( There's no room for meanness in my life, anymore. I don't want any part of it, which is hard, because I react very strongly to any form of meanness...and in turn, spew back meanness in equal measure. When that occurs, I have just trapped myself in the very thing I want to avoid. Spun myself into the darkest depths of the heart. I get mad at myself for getting mad, and lamely blaming the person for getting mad at me and "making" me mad because s/he got my goat. %-0! Something to work on for sure. I am trying--I feel better when I know I have the will within me to stop and think before I react to something so negative that has the potential to unnerve me...if I let it.
At least my mean spells are only transient, because I've got a good hubby~my bestest friend in the universe, to bring me back to earth, clear my head, and help me be myself again. :-)
You see, if I don't have tolerance of meanness in myself, how would you expect me to have it in others? (flakiness is another character trait I cannot tolerate in myself or others, but that's another subject worthy of a post...another time!)
Thank you kindly for reading my rant. ;-)
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882), American essayist, philosopher and poet
~Samuel Langhorne Clemens/Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), American author and humorist
If you are having a rotten day, do you use others at your punching bag?
I sure hope I don't. Not as habit anyway. When I have, others have called me to it fairly quickly. An apology is in order, there. ;-)
I have run across punch-baggers in many a store, in family, and a few friends (but friends always give me fair warning, as in, "let me call you back later because I'm in a really, really bad mood!" or explain to me why they are feeling cranky.)
But I am thinking: even when at times I have been majorly stressed out (at least, as adult), I endeavored NOT to use those around me as target practice, because I knew--and know, that they are not the problem. I am.
To help myself put things in perspective--that there is always, ALWAYS, someone out there who has it worse than myself, I even went out of my way after work once a week to volunarily mentor a troubled young girl~who for most of the two years I spent with her, didn't seem to want me there. That was my "therapy" to keep myself calm. ;-)
You might ask: what bought this up, being a punching bag?
I am someone who comes from a temperamental family, but rather than being extremely short-fused, I let things simmer for a long time (days, months, YEARS...!), then I explode! %-0
A terse request in the form of email came this morning. Nothing wrong there. Except that our email system sent my email an hour late, so he didn't get my email~which would have answered his request. I quickly...and angrily resent the letter! That set off my hot lava button!
About what, you ask?
- Everything and anything! !%$@!#!^%)(*!
- At myself, for being so sensitive (at times).
- At others, for being so INsensitive.
- At myself, for forgetting that others are under extreme stress in these trying times.
- At others, over decades!, for inadvertently (or purposely) using me as their punching bag and never--or rarely, apologizing.
- At others, for not learning how to manage their lives better so that they will be less inclined to transfer their misery onto others.
- At myself, for not having better self-control...yet(!).
A whole mix of things!
So this is my rant: I'm NOT your fucking punching bag. I am NO ONE's punching bag 0R doormat.
I don't deserve it! You think I do? Do I do it to you? Do you really think so little of me that you have no hesitation in striking out when it suits you?
I'm not taking it anymore! :-( I don't know why I did before, but those days are history. I will call you on it next time you lose control. Ouch!
Whether verbally or on paper, words can kill another's spirit. Or affection for another. Cause a slow death. Or cause loss of respect for others you thought you were supposed to trust. Or genuinely trusted...long ago.
I'm not asking people to be mushy, but for goodness sake, can you leave the hateful venom in the toilet where it belongs? It's often quite palpable these days. :-( (just turn on the news!).
I've come to believe over the years that what comes out of a person's mouth is what is in that person's heart. If you didn't mean it, why the hell did you say it in the first place? I'm not talking about trivial mistakes we all make when trying to explain non-personal things. I'm talking about matters of the heart. Such as when you're angry at something or someone and you lash out at the nearest person, even if that person is a supposed loved one. That's when words can sear you like a steam burn. Or worse.
I have accidentally steam-burned my fingers from an autoclave at work, so I know how painfully nasty that feels like! %-0 Those burn marks fade, but not emotional burns.
Just yesterday, my mom mentioned she thought she was getting more impatient with people in her later years!
Maybe I am, too. Though I'm not sure that's my way. More precisely, I am growing more intolerant of people with meanness. :-( There's no room for meanness in my life, anymore. I don't want any part of it, which is hard, because I react very strongly to any form of meanness...and in turn, spew back meanness in equal measure. When that occurs, I have just trapped myself in the very thing I want to avoid. Spun myself into the darkest depths of the heart. I get mad at myself for getting mad, and lamely blaming the person for getting mad at me and "making" me mad because s/he got my goat. %-0! Something to work on for sure. I am trying--I feel better when I know I have the will within me to stop and think before I react to something so negative that has the potential to unnerve me...if I let it.
At least my mean spells are only transient, because I've got a good hubby~my bestest friend in the universe, to bring me back to earth, clear my head, and help me be myself again. :-)
You see, if I don't have tolerance of meanness in myself, how would you expect me to have it in others? (flakiness is another character trait I cannot tolerate in myself or others, but that's another subject worthy of a post...another time!)
Thank you kindly for reading my rant. ;-)
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882), American essayist, philosopher and poet
Monday, August 3, 2009
I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...!
To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do.
~Spanish Proverb
Where have I been, you ask? :-0
To save you from asking me questions, I am taking the liberty of imagining that you asking me about my absence for the last several months! ;-)
Where have you been? I began to think you quit blogging!
No way! I've been here on earth the whole time!
Well, four months is an awfully long time not to blog. So what were you doing? You weren't ill, were you?
No, I wasn't ill~had a couple minor medical problems that compelled me do to some extensive research, but laziness was probably the big issue that kept me from writing. And I got even more addicted to Facebook.
You've got all that free time. Must be nice.
Are you being sarcastic? If so, you can save your sarcasm for someone or something else (the toilet). I don't deserve it.
Why do you feel compelled to write such long, mothership posts, and letters?
Because I write like I think and talk. It's like gift-giving: I don't want to write anything I don't care to read ("I walked the dog this morning"), just as I endeavor not to give gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself. Seems to me, writing is becoming ever less important to people~and short, grammatically incorrect sentences seen in Twitter and texting reign supreme now. I thank my lucky stars that I had a few excellent, strict, and unforgiving English teachers from jr. high through my second year in college. They helped set me straight. ;-)
And maybe, I just needed time to clear my head. Or do you call that writer's block? It's a bit of both, I think!
What have your typical days been like?
I wake up and practice yin yoga~often while listening to the radio broadcast of Democracy Now!, then eat my breakfast of oatmeal with ground flax, raw honey, vanilla yogurt, and half a sliced banana, while checking my email. If it is M, W, or F, I get my news blurbs from the Women's Media Center website to my email and scan through the news. Anything that looks interesting, I post it to one of many women's groups I belong to on Facebook (fb), be it politics, business, sports, arts and crafts, music, theatre and film, media and technology, etc. A dear friend I met on fb started those groups that I belong to and made me an "officer" of sorts (partner!), so I feel compelled to share these news stories on these groups. I get anywhere from 15-25 plus stories from the WMC, so it's a good amount to sift through. They used to email me daily, but last month, it became 3x a week.
I find it very liberating to share these stories and occasionally add my two cents' worth. :-)
Sometimes, especially this summer, my father in-law has been bringing in veggies galore each evening. So I wash, cut and freeze them. I'm talking gallon-and-a-pint buckets of tomatoes, banana peppers, squash, eggplants and other veggies. If it is spring or fall, then it's kale. Or strawberries. It takes time (hours) to process all that, so I like to put on an upbeat cd, and blast it while I do that work. I find it very peaceful. What I have yet to do (maybe) is pick all those veggies!
But I have no tolerance for being under the sun. A hot sun makes me hot-headed. You wouldn't want to be around me. I change personality very quickly.
If there's time and weather permits, I go out for a bike ride, either to the library (four miles, one way) or to fil's garden about 6 miles away (one way). The last month, I've gotten extra exercise because the state is rebuilding a little bridge next to my parents in-law's house and have thus closed off the road in front of us, causing everyone to use a long, windy, two to three mile detour. I want to keep my heart and body healthy...cycling is one (fun) way to do it. I hate exercising!
Well, I admit, if it is something I LIKE, then I DO feel better afterwards! Though the other day, when I really had to pedal hard to meet a shuttle bus (made it by 10 seconds to spare!), I realized how out of shape I was, and was limping after the bike ride home!%-0
Oh, lucky us: mil/fil have a small pool here! A dip or swim in the pool after a long ride is very soothing for the muscles...especially at night. Very peaceful.
When the weather is sucky or I need to get away from the computer (!), I read. I read voraciously.
What do you like to read?
Works by women authors from all over the world~because I was only exposed almost exclusively to the great classics by dead white men during my school years, some of whom have become my favorite authors. But if you looked at what I read during jr. and sr. high school and college, you might think there were only a few women in history who ever put their pen to paper! %-0 It's why Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre made such a deep impact on me in 10th grade; it's one of my lifetime favorite novels (read it 3x already). I'm just trying to catch up now and discover the work produced by the female half of humanity~and not necessarily dead ones!
Most especially, I love to read autobiographies and biographies of women of influence and power!:-) Women who were dedicated to improving the lot of women~and people in general, be it suffrage, healthcare, women's rights, business, public policy, education or what have you. I also like reading about women who broke ground in their fields of study, such as Margaret Mead, Marie Curie, and Rachel Carson. Those are the people I want to know about.
I pay particular attention to those who write well, like Simone de Beauvoir, Emma Goldman, Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Ding Ling.
Why do you want to know about them?
Because I want to be like them. They inspire me to stand up for what I believe in. To advocate for what I believe in. To encourage others to think about what I believe in. ;-)
What DO you believe in?
I firmly believe that women are human beings and should be treated as such. And I mean EVERY woman and girl on earth. We are worthy of deserving every opportunity to reach our full potential, of having the right to a basic education~and higher education, if that is what we choose. We are worthy of having access to basic health care~regardless of our socio-economic background, without any governmental or religious body telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. We are deserving of the right to earn our own living, earning the same pay for the same work as our male counterparts, and KEEPING our own salary w/o being obliged to turn it over to another family member or spouse. We are worthy of having the courts mete justice out to those who have broken the law and harmed us, physically or mentally. And we deserve better public policy from our elected representatives to push for more family-friendly work laws that enable us to not have to sacrifice our own sick time to care for another family member when they become ill.
Women and girls are not commodities for the pleasure of the opposite sex. We are not slaves meant for prostitution or human trafficking for hard labor both here and abroad. We do not exist merely for the purpose of society to define us by our sexuality alone: either virgin or slut, pure or soiled. Or whether we open our mouths or not: good girl or bitch. We are human beings!
It seems all that I've mentioned ought to be obvious, but it isn't, to much of the world, including to some here in the United States of America. :-(
As long as sexual exploitation, sexual harrassment, violence against women, and sexism in general is occurring~and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will speak out (or write out) and advocate for the rights of women and girls to be demanded, enforced, and respected.
This is what I believe.
How did you come to be so impassioned about womanny things?
Life experience: observing women in my family, friends, coworkers--and even strangers, suffer needlessly throughout the years from cultural and societal restraints on their person. I.e., obedience to spouse (not reciprocal!), expected decorum, one-way respect (hierarchial), repression of verbal expression, enduring scorn for speaking their mind, suffering in silence for standing up for themselves, discouraged from pursuing their own interests and ambitions~which may conflict directly with the values of their family and community, etc.
What also has influenced me greatly is being an alumna of Mills College, an independent, liberal arts, women's undergraduate college in Oakland, CA. (which also offers graduate degrees to men). My time there awakened me to the issues women face, as well as keeping in touch friends there and quarterly newsletters in the years since graduation.
Do you think you will hold to these same views when you're an old lady?
Yes, of course! I hope that a great many things will improve for women and girls BEFORE I become an old lady and that I wouldn't have to even THINK about their present lot in life. But as long as we are discriminated against because of gender, and are exploited and harassed because of it, then I am ready and willing to stand with all the girls and women of the world who seek justice and respect until we get what we deserve, or until my last breath. Whichever comes first.
What do you plan to do with all this information~all this voracious reading you're consuming?
Foment a women's revolution.
Spread the gospel of social justice.
Keep signing petitions via various organizations on issues that matter to me.
Continue to hammer away at my congressional representatives on any issue that means something to me, via email or petition.
C'mon. Seriously.
Seriously! Why wouldn't I be serious about matters I care about? Yes. SERIOUSLY.
Okaaay.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You'd better watch out...! ;-D
Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human. ~Robin Morgan (1941-), American radical feminist activist, writer, poet, and editor of Sisterhood is Powerful and Ms. Magazine.
~Spanish Proverb
Where have I been, you ask? :-0
To save you from asking me questions, I am taking the liberty of imagining that you asking me about my absence for the last several months! ;-)
Where have you been? I began to think you quit blogging!
No way! I've been here on earth the whole time!
Well, four months is an awfully long time not to blog. So what were you doing? You weren't ill, were you?
No, I wasn't ill~had a couple minor medical problems that compelled me do to some extensive research, but laziness was probably the big issue that kept me from writing. And I got even more addicted to Facebook.
You've got all that free time. Must be nice.
Are you being sarcastic? If so, you can save your sarcasm for someone or something else (the toilet). I don't deserve it.
Why do you feel compelled to write such long, mothership posts, and letters?
Because I write like I think and talk. It's like gift-giving: I don't want to write anything I don't care to read ("I walked the dog this morning"), just as I endeavor not to give gifts that I wouldn't want to receive myself. Seems to me, writing is becoming ever less important to people~and short, grammatically incorrect sentences seen in Twitter and texting reign supreme now. I thank my lucky stars that I had a few excellent, strict, and unforgiving English teachers from jr. high through my second year in college. They helped set me straight. ;-)
And maybe, I just needed time to clear my head. Or do you call that writer's block? It's a bit of both, I think!
What have your typical days been like?
I wake up and practice yin yoga~often while listening to the radio broadcast of Democracy Now!, then eat my breakfast of oatmeal with ground flax, raw honey, vanilla yogurt, and half a sliced banana, while checking my email. If it is M, W, or F, I get my news blurbs from the Women's Media Center website to my email and scan through the news. Anything that looks interesting, I post it to one of many women's groups I belong to on Facebook (fb), be it politics, business, sports, arts and crafts, music, theatre and film, media and technology, etc. A dear friend I met on fb started those groups that I belong to and made me an "officer" of sorts (partner!), so I feel compelled to share these news stories on these groups. I get anywhere from 15-25 plus stories from the WMC, so it's a good amount to sift through. They used to email me daily, but last month, it became 3x a week.
I find it very liberating to share these stories and occasionally add my two cents' worth. :-)
Sometimes, especially this summer, my father in-law has been bringing in veggies galore each evening. So I wash, cut and freeze them. I'm talking gallon-and-a-pint buckets of tomatoes, banana peppers, squash, eggplants and other veggies. If it is spring or fall, then it's kale. Or strawberries. It takes time (hours) to process all that, so I like to put on an upbeat cd, and blast it while I do that work. I find it very peaceful. What I have yet to do (maybe) is pick all those veggies!
But I have no tolerance for being under the sun. A hot sun makes me hot-headed. You wouldn't want to be around me. I change personality very quickly.
If there's time and weather permits, I go out for a bike ride, either to the library (four miles, one way) or to fil's garden about 6 miles away (one way). The last month, I've gotten extra exercise because the state is rebuilding a little bridge next to my parents in-law's house and have thus closed off the road in front of us, causing everyone to use a long, windy, two to three mile detour. I want to keep my heart and body healthy...cycling is one (fun) way to do it. I hate exercising!
Well, I admit, if it is something I LIKE, then I DO feel better afterwards! Though the other day, when I really had to pedal hard to meet a shuttle bus (made it by 10 seconds to spare!), I realized how out of shape I was, and was limping after the bike ride home!%-0
Oh, lucky us: mil/fil have a small pool here! A dip or swim in the pool after a long ride is very soothing for the muscles...especially at night. Very peaceful.
When the weather is sucky or I need to get away from the computer (!), I read. I read voraciously.
What do you like to read?
Works by women authors from all over the world~because I was only exposed almost exclusively to the great classics by dead white men during my school years, some of whom have become my favorite authors. But if you looked at what I read during jr. and sr. high school and college, you might think there were only a few women in history who ever put their pen to paper! %-0 It's why Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre made such a deep impact on me in 10th grade; it's one of my lifetime favorite novels (read it 3x already). I'm just trying to catch up now and discover the work produced by the female half of humanity~and not necessarily dead ones!
Most especially, I love to read autobiographies and biographies of women of influence and power!:-) Women who were dedicated to improving the lot of women~and people in general, be it suffrage, healthcare, women's rights, business, public policy, education or what have you. I also like reading about women who broke ground in their fields of study, such as Margaret Mead, Marie Curie, and Rachel Carson. Those are the people I want to know about.
I pay particular attention to those who write well, like Simone de Beauvoir, Emma Goldman, Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Ding Ling.
Why do you want to know about them?
Because I want to be like them. They inspire me to stand up for what I believe in. To advocate for what I believe in. To encourage others to think about what I believe in. ;-)
What DO you believe in?
I firmly believe that women are human beings and should be treated as such. And I mean EVERY woman and girl on earth. We are worthy of deserving every opportunity to reach our full potential, of having the right to a basic education~and higher education, if that is what we choose. We are worthy of having access to basic health care~regardless of our socio-economic background, without any governmental or religious body telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. We are deserving of the right to earn our own living, earning the same pay for the same work as our male counterparts, and KEEPING our own salary w/o being obliged to turn it over to another family member or spouse. We are worthy of having the courts mete justice out to those who have broken the law and harmed us, physically or mentally. And we deserve better public policy from our elected representatives to push for more family-friendly work laws that enable us to not have to sacrifice our own sick time to care for another family member when they become ill.
Women and girls are not commodities for the pleasure of the opposite sex. We are not slaves meant for prostitution or human trafficking for hard labor both here and abroad. We do not exist merely for the purpose of society to define us by our sexuality alone: either virgin or slut, pure or soiled. Or whether we open our mouths or not: good girl or bitch. We are human beings!
It seems all that I've mentioned ought to be obvious, but it isn't, to much of the world, including to some here in the United States of America. :-(
As long as sexual exploitation, sexual harrassment, violence against women, and sexism in general is occurring~and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will speak out (or write out) and advocate for the rights of women and girls to be demanded, enforced, and respected.
This is what I believe.
How did you come to be so impassioned about womanny things?
Life experience: observing women in my family, friends, coworkers--and even strangers, suffer needlessly throughout the years from cultural and societal restraints on their person. I.e., obedience to spouse (not reciprocal!), expected decorum, one-way respect (hierarchial), repression of verbal expression, enduring scorn for speaking their mind, suffering in silence for standing up for themselves, discouraged from pursuing their own interests and ambitions~which may conflict directly with the values of their family and community, etc.
What also has influenced me greatly is being an alumna of Mills College, an independent, liberal arts, women's undergraduate college in Oakland, CA. (which also offers graduate degrees to men). My time there awakened me to the issues women face, as well as keeping in touch friends there and quarterly newsletters in the years since graduation.
Do you think you will hold to these same views when you're an old lady?
Yes, of course! I hope that a great many things will improve for women and girls BEFORE I become an old lady and that I wouldn't have to even THINK about their present lot in life. But as long as we are discriminated against because of gender, and are exploited and harassed because of it, then I am ready and willing to stand with all the girls and women of the world who seek justice and respect until we get what we deserve, or until my last breath. Whichever comes first.
What do you plan to do with all this information~all this voracious reading you're consuming?
Foment a women's revolution.
Spread the gospel of social justice.
Keep signing petitions via various organizations on issues that matter to me.
Continue to hammer away at my congressional representatives on any issue that means something to me, via email or petition.
C'mon. Seriously.
Seriously! Why wouldn't I be serious about matters I care about? Yes. SERIOUSLY.
Okaaay.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You'd better watch out...! ;-D
Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human. ~Robin Morgan (1941-), American radical feminist activist, writer, poet, and editor of Sisterhood is Powerful and Ms. Magazine.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Raging Bull!
I am a raging bull, I admit it: I have a bad temper . :-(
I have family and relatives who are temperamental, but I think they are more short-fused than me. Impatient. Easily angered; you never know when they'll explode. Like walking in a minefield...you never know when they'll blow up, but it's a sure-fire guarantee they will, sooner or later. You can be certain of that with each visit.
Not that I'm any better. I'm not.
I'm the simmering volcanic type! I give no warning either, but my explosion might take days, weeks, months, even years to occur. But when Mount Me explodes...watch out! A hot explosion of fury lava will spill forth, leaving nothing in my path. As hubby put it, I leave no prisoners behind. I get the job DONE!%-0
That's how I was this morning, when I discovered mil "took my job". It's anybody's job to wash (really, rinse), chop, and cook the greens from fil's garden to freeze for storage; she's been doing it for decades, unlike me, who's only been assisting her off and on throughout the years. I did most of it yesterday. Washing all these bags of greens--and other vegetables for that matter, does not bother me. Since there is so much (we ended up with five quart-sized bags to freeze!), it takes a few hours to go through. I find a kind of peace doing that work.
So why did I get all worked up over something so trivial this morning? Feel possessive about it? I deeply resent others when they are possessive of me or something or someone else, but I am guilty of doing the same thing! %-0 This is not to say I think she is possessive of that work--I'm only saying that is how I am.
I can't explain it. I just became uncharacteristically LOUD today. Poor hubby was the messenger between the two of us (only because he went over to their kitchen this morning to soak beans) this morning. He said, "Mom's got almost all of the greens washed; she got to it first thing this morning and hasn't eaten yet". She told him she didn't want me to feel burdened.
WHAT?!
No way! I don't mind at all, and had told her so before. Am I stealing her job? ;-0 We'll have to talk! She had complained before it was like a burden sometimes, with fil bringing home veggies all the time...everyday, for her to take care of. Is it cuz she thought something like that should be done in the early morning? What does it matter what time it is done? (Mind you, I did not tell her that I intended to do it today! I fully intended to do it myself...I just didn't communicate that to her. ;-0)
I'm still very much a night owl; I have my peace at night, always have.
But I can work in the morning, too. After all, I spent years starting work at 6 a.m., and then 5 a.m. because we had early birds in the lab. Insanity!
Anyhoo, I stomped, banged pots and pans, and ranted and raved all morning long! Talking loud--almost shouting the whole time in the kitchen, in part because the commercial fridge and freezer are so darn LOUD, and we turn the radio on loud to drown out the fridge sounds. Hubby certainly didn't have trouble hearing me this morning, while I bagged up the blanched curly kale for the freezer.
My mind was, and is, racing! Hubby calls me a restless spirit on an endless flight (from the Eagle's song. Even with all my ranting, hubby was still loving toward me! Wasn't quite sure what to do with his raving woman who couldn't calm down, though! %-0 He told me to go exercise.
I took my fury out on my bike roller. I was SO RAGING angry, I kept up a maddening pace of 80 rpm (revolutions per minute) for most of the 25 minutes I rolled, even on 2nd gear! Racy symphonic music blasting away helped! I raged and rolled on the bike until after my neck was sopping wet with sweat, and salty sweat got in my eyes and rolled down my nose! %-0
Mil likes working and being outside MUCH better, I think, especially on bright sunny days. It doesn't matter much to me: I'm happy indoors. I don't like, or allow, Mother Nature to dictate my life, but...don't get ME in the hot sun or my tongue will be hotter than the sun itself! %-0
I'll sure we can arrive at an easy understanding...we always have. :-)
In the meantime, I have to work out my RAGE.
Before I went over to help hubby, I put on a cd of Dimitry Shostakovich's louder compositions; I put the volume on as loud as I could stand it. I love his work...it's very intense, often dark and tormented. I can relate to it extremely well!
Cycling on the rollers helped a great deal. It's better than saying unpleasant, hurtful words and verbally stabbing someone forever, isn't it? I can dissipate my boiling anger and build up some leggie muscles at the same time! ;-)
Of course, I was mostly mad that I even got mad, in the first place! Such a trivial matter, washing vegetables!
There are other things that I rage over, such as social injustices, misogyny, etc. That's when I try to cycle my rage away. Pretend I'm rolling over the baddies who take advantage of others, or who try to control the female half of humanity through violence, cultural traditions or laws, or who publicly spew out misogynistic, dumb chatter that demeans, dehumanizes, and perpetuates backward thinking about women.
Doing a lot of reading calms me down. :-) It helps me think more clearly. I LOVE to read works by women who have stood up and out against unjust treatment of women, and of more vulnerable members of society. The more outspoken and brave they were (and are), the more I am inspired by their chutzpah. :-) They are whom I admire, and are the ones who will help me channel my rage.
Alice! Simone! Emma! And all those whom I've yet to discover: sock it (your words of wisdom) to me!! I'm ready to devour your words, to let them nourish and saturate my mind and heart. :-)
I have A LOT of reading to do!...
p.s. #1: I did see the movie Raging Bull...but hopefully, I won't end up being a broken, boozy, overweight, lousy nightclub act! ;-0
p.s. #2: OF COURSE mil and I are friends! I made a mountain out of a molehill! She told me she didn't want me to think she was going to leave all the work to me! I love her! Do I have something going on biologically? Did I not get enough sleep (which can make me unruly and cranky!)?
I have family and relatives who are temperamental, but I think they are more short-fused than me. Impatient. Easily angered; you never know when they'll explode. Like walking in a minefield...you never know when they'll blow up, but it's a sure-fire guarantee they will, sooner or later. You can be certain of that with each visit.
Not that I'm any better. I'm not.
I'm the simmering volcanic type! I give no warning either, but my explosion might take days, weeks, months, even years to occur. But when Mount Me explodes...watch out! A hot explosion of fury lava will spill forth, leaving nothing in my path. As hubby put it, I leave no prisoners behind. I get the job DONE!%-0
That's how I was this morning, when I discovered mil "took my job". It's anybody's job to wash (really, rinse), chop, and cook the greens from fil's garden to freeze for storage; she's been doing it for decades, unlike me, who's only been assisting her off and on throughout the years. I did most of it yesterday. Washing all these bags of greens--and other vegetables for that matter, does not bother me. Since there is so much (we ended up with five quart-sized bags to freeze!), it takes a few hours to go through. I find a kind of peace doing that work.
So why did I get all worked up over something so trivial this morning? Feel possessive about it? I deeply resent others when they are possessive of me or something or someone else, but I am guilty of doing the same thing! %-0 This is not to say I think she is possessive of that work--I'm only saying that is how I am.
I can't explain it. I just became uncharacteristically LOUD today. Poor hubby was the messenger between the two of us (only because he went over to their kitchen this morning to soak beans) this morning. He said, "Mom's got almost all of the greens washed; she got to it first thing this morning and hasn't eaten yet". She told him she didn't want me to feel burdened.
WHAT?!
No way! I don't mind at all, and had told her so before. Am I stealing her job? ;-0 We'll have to talk! She had complained before it was like a burden sometimes, with fil bringing home veggies all the time...everyday, for her to take care of. Is it cuz she thought something like that should be done in the early morning? What does it matter what time it is done? (Mind you, I did not tell her that I intended to do it today! I fully intended to do it myself...I just didn't communicate that to her. ;-0)
I'm still very much a night owl; I have my peace at night, always have.
But I can work in the morning, too. After all, I spent years starting work at 6 a.m., and then 5 a.m. because we had early birds in the lab. Insanity!
Anyhoo, I stomped, banged pots and pans, and ranted and raved all morning long! Talking loud--almost shouting the whole time in the kitchen, in part because the commercial fridge and freezer are so darn LOUD, and we turn the radio on loud to drown out the fridge sounds. Hubby certainly didn't have trouble hearing me this morning, while I bagged up the blanched curly kale for the freezer.
My mind was, and is, racing! Hubby calls me a restless spirit on an endless flight (from the Eagle's song. Even with all my ranting, hubby was still loving toward me! Wasn't quite sure what to do with his raving woman who couldn't calm down, though! %-0 He told me to go exercise.
I took my fury out on my bike roller. I was SO RAGING angry, I kept up a maddening pace of 80 rpm (revolutions per minute) for most of the 25 minutes I rolled, even on 2nd gear! Racy symphonic music blasting away helped! I raged and rolled on the bike until after my neck was sopping wet with sweat, and salty sweat got in my eyes and rolled down my nose! %-0
Mil likes working and being outside MUCH better, I think, especially on bright sunny days. It doesn't matter much to me: I'm happy indoors. I don't like, or allow, Mother Nature to dictate my life, but...don't get ME in the hot sun or my tongue will be hotter than the sun itself! %-0
I'll sure we can arrive at an easy understanding...we always have. :-)
In the meantime, I have to work out my RAGE.
Before I went over to help hubby, I put on a cd of Dimitry Shostakovich's louder compositions; I put the volume on as loud as I could stand it. I love his work...it's very intense, often dark and tormented. I can relate to it extremely well!
Cycling on the rollers helped a great deal. It's better than saying unpleasant, hurtful words and verbally stabbing someone forever, isn't it? I can dissipate my boiling anger and build up some leggie muscles at the same time! ;-)
Of course, I was mostly mad that I even got mad, in the first place! Such a trivial matter, washing vegetables!
There are other things that I rage over, such as social injustices, misogyny, etc. That's when I try to cycle my rage away. Pretend I'm rolling over the baddies who take advantage of others, or who try to control the female half of humanity through violence, cultural traditions or laws, or who publicly spew out misogynistic, dumb chatter that demeans, dehumanizes, and perpetuates backward thinking about women.
Doing a lot of reading calms me down. :-) It helps me think more clearly. I LOVE to read works by women who have stood up and out against unjust treatment of women, and of more vulnerable members of society. The more outspoken and brave they were (and are), the more I am inspired by their chutzpah. :-) They are whom I admire, and are the ones who will help me channel my rage.
Alice! Simone! Emma! And all those whom I've yet to discover: sock it (your words of wisdom) to me!! I'm ready to devour your words, to let them nourish and saturate my mind and heart. :-)
I have A LOT of reading to do!...
p.s. #1: I did see the movie Raging Bull...but hopefully, I won't end up being a broken, boozy, overweight, lousy nightclub act! ;-0
p.s. #2: OF COURSE mil and I are friends! I made a mountain out of a molehill! She told me she didn't want me to think she was going to leave all the work to me! I love her! Do I have something going on biologically? Did I not get enough sleep (which can make me unruly and cranky!)?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
It's International Women's Day '09!
March 8th is International Women's Day!
According to the IWD website, IWD is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.
IWD is a national holiday in:China, Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. SOMEBODY, or some bodies (!), had a clue in those countries! :-)
Not here. Not yet, anyway. The USA has no official holiday celebrating great women in herstory. March by the way, is Women's History Month, in case you didn't know.
We have holidays here in the USA to commemorate great men: George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, Jr. But no women!
Why?
Some might say, well, there's Mother's Day. That is important: I certainly respect mothers because I feel they are most often the glue that holds a family together, and they do SO much for so little in return. I tend to gravitate toward mom-like women and friends. They bring help bring life into the world and are the primary caretakers as we grow up. I know I could not have thrived without my mom's love and nuturing. :-)
But Mother's Day is not a paid, federal holiday. Perhaps people already feel we have the day off anyway, as Mother's Day falls on a Sunday.
What about all the other women--women who are not mothers, by choice or circumstance or whatever? Are we less worthy as women--as human beings, if we have not brought life into the world? Surely NOT! %-0
How about women who have made and continue to make great contributions to society: scientists, educators, environmentalists, physicians, nurses, community leaders, spiritual leaders, artists, writers, musicians, and activists who work hard to bring awareness of social injustices and improvements to ameliorate the suffering of others, just to name a few? The underpaid, overworked, and sometimes abused domestic workers? The many women tucked away and forgotten in nursing homes across the country? .
Who would I offer up as a candidate or two or more for the nation to celebrate and commemorate--worthy of having the country take a day off (and be paid!) in her honor?
I can think of some:
That's just a start. I know there's many more. The lifelong work of those women alone are worthy of historical note alone. It's HERstory!
Imagine this: national holiday to commemorate a prominent woman (or more) AND a national holiday to celebrate International Women's Day!! Wouldn't that be fabulous? :-D
I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. :-(
Sure, most people know women make up half the population, but they sure don't appreciate that fact via apathy toward violence against women, unequal pay for equal work, and myriad of other woman-unfriendly facts of life.
But I can still hope. Hope that the misogynists of the world--in particular, the religious ones who would keep girls and women brainless and backward, would realize that their hateful, narrow, controlling view of women is only keeping humanity from moving forward.
As long as there are injustices committed against women both here and abroad, and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will continue to stand up for women's rights. Women's rights are human rights. Period.
I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive one!
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.
~Emily Dickinson, (1830-1886) American poet
According to the IWD website, IWD is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.
IWD is a national holiday in:China, Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. SOMEBODY, or some bodies (!), had a clue in those countries! :-)
Not here. Not yet, anyway. The USA has no official holiday celebrating great women in herstory. March by the way, is Women's History Month, in case you didn't know.
We have holidays here in the USA to commemorate great men: George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Martin Luther King, Jr. But no women!
Why?
Some might say, well, there's Mother's Day. That is important: I certainly respect mothers because I feel they are most often the glue that holds a family together, and they do SO much for so little in return. I tend to gravitate toward mom-like women and friends. They bring help bring life into the world and are the primary caretakers as we grow up. I know I could not have thrived without my mom's love and nuturing. :-)
But Mother's Day is not a paid, federal holiday. Perhaps people already feel we have the day off anyway, as Mother's Day falls on a Sunday.
What about all the other women--women who are not mothers, by choice or circumstance or whatever? Are we less worthy as women--as human beings, if we have not brought life into the world? Surely NOT! %-0
How about women who have made and continue to make great contributions to society: scientists, educators, environmentalists, physicians, nurses, community leaders, spiritual leaders, artists, writers, musicians, and activists who work hard to bring awareness of social injustices and improvements to ameliorate the suffering of others, just to name a few? The underpaid, overworked, and sometimes abused domestic workers? The many women tucked away and forgotten in nursing homes across the country? .
Who would I offer up as a candidate or two or more for the nation to celebrate and commemorate--worthy of having the country take a day off (and be paid!) in her honor?
I can think of some:
- Harriet Tubman: (c. 1820–1913) African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the American Civil War.
- Eleanor Roosevelt: (1884-1962) First Lady of the US (1933-45), civil rights advocate, internationally prominent author, speaker, politician, and activist for the New Deal coalition.
- Jane Addams: (1860-1935) founder of the U.S. Settlement House Nobel Peace Prize and one of the first American women to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
- Rosa Parks: (1913-2005) African American civil rights activist whom the U.S. Congress later called "Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement".
- Susan B. Anthony: (1820-1906) prominent American civil rights leader who played a pivotal role in the 19th century women's rights movement to introduce women's suffrage into the United States.
That's just a start. I know there's many more. The lifelong work of those women alone are worthy of historical note alone. It's HERstory!
Imagine this: national holiday to commemorate a prominent woman (or more) AND a national holiday to celebrate International Women's Day!! Wouldn't that be fabulous? :-D
I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. :-(
Sure, most people know women make up half the population, but they sure don't appreciate that fact via apathy toward violence against women, unequal pay for equal work, and myriad of other woman-unfriendly facts of life.
But I can still hope. Hope that the misogynists of the world--in particular, the religious ones who would keep girls and women brainless and backward, would realize that their hateful, narrow, controlling view of women is only keeping humanity from moving forward.
As long as there are injustices committed against women both here and abroad, and as long as I am alive and breathing, I will continue to stand up for women's rights. Women's rights are human rights. Period.
I want to live in a progressive world, not a regressive one!
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.
~Emily Dickinson, (1830-1886) American poet
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Snot Kiss...Slobber Kiss...Kiss Kiss :-)
Kiss: The anatomical juxtaposition
of two orbicularis oris muscles
in a state of contraction.
--Henry Gibbons, Sr., MD (1808-1884)
Last night, my 20 month-old nephew gave me a snot kiss. His nose was running. Clear liquid running between his nose to his lips. But I don't see him often...and he's awfully cute, easy-going, and easily loveable. So how could I deny him his gesture of affection toward me?
I couldn't! Isn't that love? :-)
I did, however wipe my mouth afterwards. Sorry kiddo!
Earlier during the evening, he gave me a couple of kisses--but they were only quasi-snot kisses: his nose was wet, but the liquid wasn't flowing...yet. It's difficult for me to refuse kisses from love-y little people, especially when they are relatives!
Yesterday, I played with my father in-law's dog. He came close to giving me a slobber kiss. He's a real funny dog (still a puppy) and inspires me to be carefree; however, as cute as I think he is--petting him, playing with him, and rubbing his belly is good love from me. I'm not into dog kissing, as in: you can lick my face or limbs all you want, and it's a wonderful thing.
No, it isn't.
Fil's (father in-law) dog is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. An outside dog to the bone. Dog lovers say dogs are clean (in response to those who are horrified by the thought of a dog licking their face). My question to them is: do they really know where their dog has been, and what it has sniffed, touched, and eaten?
I have witnessed fil's dogs in the past (and present) munching on a large pile of chicken shit on the edge of a tractor, or picking up a nice oblong piece of deer turd in the woods on a freezing cold day. Does it taste delicious to them? I'm guessing it might, having observed the excitement with which they go after it, but I wouldn't want to be a canine for the purposes of discovering the culinary delights of another creature's shit.
I do, however, think I possess a doggy-like nose, which I have written about in the past. Dogs have a powerful olfactory sense; so do I! Which leads me back to slobbery dog kisses: dog breath or a wet doggy is a fast turn off. I don't know where you've been and I don't want to know! I still like you, but I can do without the kisses, thank you very much. :-) Woof!
The best kisses, of course, come from my honey! :-)) No runny nose, no bad breath...though it happens to both of us on occasion. I won't go into detail, but all I have to say is:
life is good if you can exchange good kisses with your life partner, in good times as well as in not-so-good times. :-)
I love kisses (except from four-legged creatures)!
Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
--Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), English Romantic Poet, Prometheus Unbound
of two orbicularis oris muscles
in a state of contraction.
--Henry Gibbons, Sr., MD (1808-1884)
Last night, my 20 month-old nephew gave me a snot kiss. His nose was running. Clear liquid running between his nose to his lips. But I don't see him often...and he's awfully cute, easy-going, and easily loveable. So how could I deny him his gesture of affection toward me?
I couldn't! Isn't that love? :-)
I did, however wipe my mouth afterwards. Sorry kiddo!
Earlier during the evening, he gave me a couple of kisses--but they were only quasi-snot kisses: his nose was wet, but the liquid wasn't flowing...yet. It's difficult for me to refuse kisses from love-y little people, especially when they are relatives!
Yesterday, I played with my father in-law's dog. He came close to giving me a slobber kiss. He's a real funny dog (still a puppy) and inspires me to be carefree; however, as cute as I think he is--petting him, playing with him, and rubbing his belly is good love from me. I'm not into dog kissing, as in: you can lick my face or limbs all you want, and it's a wonderful thing.
No, it isn't.
Fil's (father in-law) dog is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. An outside dog to the bone. Dog lovers say dogs are clean (in response to those who are horrified by the thought of a dog licking their face). My question to them is: do they really know where their dog has been, and what it has sniffed, touched, and eaten?
I have witnessed fil's dogs in the past (and present) munching on a large pile of chicken shit on the edge of a tractor, or picking up a nice oblong piece of deer turd in the woods on a freezing cold day. Does it taste delicious to them? I'm guessing it might, having observed the excitement with which they go after it, but I wouldn't want to be a canine for the purposes of discovering the culinary delights of another creature's shit.
I do, however, think I possess a doggy-like nose, which I have written about in the past. Dogs have a powerful olfactory sense; so do I! Which leads me back to slobbery dog kisses: dog breath or a wet doggy is a fast turn off. I don't know where you've been and I don't want to know! I still like you, but I can do without the kisses, thank you very much. :-) Woof!
The best kisses, of course, come from my honey! :-)) No runny nose, no bad breath...though it happens to both of us on occasion. I won't go into detail, but all I have to say is:
life is good if you can exchange good kisses with your life partner, in good times as well as in not-so-good times. :-)
I love kisses (except from four-legged creatures)!
Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
--Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), English Romantic Poet, Prometheus Unbound
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