Yearning for a Revolution!

If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.

Abigail Adams (1744-1818)

First lady to the 2nd US president

* * * * * *


From time to time I have fantasies of imagining myself at the helm of a worldwide revolution. :-)

A revolution to change people's thinking about half of humanity: women!

And this need not involve blood, guts, or loss of lives. Leave that to the warmongering politicians (and let them fight amongst themselves!).

I want a revolution to shake up the thinking of men and women worldwide: that women deserve to be treated with respect and should be afforded the same opportunities as men, starting when they are young girls. This means, EVERY girl in the world should be able to have the same education any boy would have.

Why not? I would think that any society would want to use all of its brains, not just half.

Why, in the 21st century, are women still being treated like second class citizens in so many parts of the world? :-( Valued less than livestock in some places, denied even an elementary education as young girls, and treated as slaves or worse in today's world?

This is the very stuff that makes my blood boil.

I realize there are many economic, political, and cultural factors for why women are still treated shamelessly bad--sometimes worse than animals, as if nothing has changed in the last millennium, but I don't think those are excuses by any measure to treat women as less than equal to men, in terms of being fellow human beings.

Women helped bring life into this world! They are the nurturers and caregivers of humanity!

Yet whether it be peacetime or wartime, they are physically and mentally violated with impunity--by strangers or by so-called loved ones. They are targeted by hungry advertisers who send them messages that they're never beautiful enough unless they use certain products. They're told by society that they're lacking as a woman if they do not become a mother--regardless of the reason. They're easily labeled a bitch when they have the courage to express their opinions, regarded as dirty if a bit too much skin is showing or even for having their period, and they're quickly judged by others based on their appearance.

Among other things.


Get a glimpse of what's happening to the women of the world at:

Amnesty International's Violence Against Women Campaign

Global Alliance Against Traffic in Women

Asian-American Network Against Abuse of Human Rights


That's only the tip of the iceberg...


If I were the leader of the kind of revolution I want, I would pull out all the stops to make sure that throughout the world:

• All the children of the world have a basic education (to my mind, that means through high school).
• Violence against women is UNACCEPTABLE and that severe penalities--with a good deal of public shaming, would be imposed on all those who have violated women (or worse).
• Women in difficult domestic situations have a safe haven to go to.
• Trafficking of women and young girls for prostitution and other forms of slavery is STOPPED and it perpetrators duly punished in an international tribunal.
• Anyone attempting to promote the objectification of women via media, brothels, or whatever, would be fined an exhorbitant fee which would go towards shelters for women. And then maybe...thrown in the slammer!
  
• Strengthen and enforce existing laws to protect the rights of women.

I challenge the men of the world to stand up for their wives, girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and women friends in their lives. They don't have to pick a fight--just let the other party know that the offending behavior or remark is unacceptable. The other party can very well be another woman--there are many women who have backward ideas about a woman's place in this world.


I do not wish to be part of the masses that would keep half of humanity from
progressing to help make the world a better place to live. I want to be one who shows the world that women expect to be respected as a fellow human being! :-)

When there are more women leading the countries of the world, this world will surely be a very cool place to live in!

And it'll be a fine time to be on planet Earth when men will be as turned on by a woman's mind as they are by her anatomical parts.

This is my ongoing dream; I'm continually searching for a way to contribute. It's my goal in life: to shake up and shape up people's view of women...to blaze a trail and boldly go where no woman has gone before! ;-)

My Doggy Nose

I am blessed with a doggy nose.

No, I don't mean I have a nose that looks like a dog's nose! I mean that, on a human scale, I have a very strong olfactory sense.

I love smelling fresh flowers, the interior of a bakery, somebody's barbecue grilling, and good home cooking!

I have a habit of sniffing brand new pages in a brand new book, fresh bread in the bakery section of a store, expensive perfume as I walk through a department store, shampoos, shower gels and lotions in any store--but especially in high-end boutiques like The Body Shop, and a dish when it arrives at my table in a restaurant.

My mom has a super strong sense of smell. Whenever she visited me, she'd tell me right away if something had an odor to it.! %-0 I'm thinking I got my strong olfactory sense from her.

I also have a habit of sniffing my clothes and hubby's clothes for the slightest hint of odor, the bathroom and the kitchen. Which brings me to say:

I am also cursed with a doggy nose! :-(

Evil odors manage to always waft toward my direction and attack my nostrils! I certainly do NOT go out of my way to seek them out.

Especially in warm and hotter than hell weather. That's when my olfactory senses are at their peak. The odors of everything and everybody are magnified. Yech!

Since I don't have a car anymore and have thus gotten used to taking public transportation again, evil odors attack yours truly with a vengeance. Even a bus or train's air conditioning doesn't always work to mask odors.

Once, someone puked on the bus and didn't clean it up. The bus driver should have left the bus in the bus lot downtown! It was very early in the morning; unfortunately, I wasn't able to take another bus because of where I needed to go at a certain time. So the bus driver put the a/c on full blast. That's like spreading road kill aroma throughout the bus! :-((

I've been overseas in a place where some people don't think of using deodorant. They use a a fancy, textured, glass bottle of cologne that I thought at first was a bottle of booze they were offering me to drink from! But no, it was cologne to mask body smells because they didn't wash often. Just pour a bit into your palms and slap it on your neck, arms, and wherever. Then pass the bottle along to the next person! It's actually refreshing! No big deal. We're quite spoiled here, really--having hot and cold water available at all hours, all year long.

Ah well, if everyone's stinky and sweaty in the heat of summer, then there's really no problem is there?

Yes and no!

No, because if you don't think about it and you get used to the fact that you're as bad as everyone else or vice versa, and there's not enough water to wash but once or twice a week, then so be it.

But if you're in the land of plenty and you're just being lazy, then yes, it could be problematic to others. It's only personal, for goodness sake! %-0 Once, I jumped out of my seat the moment an oversized, unkempt woman sat in front of me. I startled everyone on the bus with my lightening jump, but her odor was insufferable!

The worst odor linked to humans is foot odor. Hands down!

When discussing clients' idiosyncrasies in general one day, one of my massage therapist friends gave me a funny look and asked, "YOU smell people's feet?" Of course NOT. I was quite insulted when she asked me that. :-((

People with dirty feet wearing flip flops/thongs/zoris in the summer are exposing their bacterial footsies to the public. I hate it! Stay outdoors! Away from me! Stay inside, air conditioning will just spread your smell, akin to driving on breezy day down a rural road and being hit with the nasty aroma of road kill that you can't escape until you're in the safety of your home!

Strong bad smells affect me terribly: I get nauseated in an instant. :-((

Last week I sprayed air freshener on one of my clients feet before I started her massage. At least she warned me they were stinky. And they were. But the air freshener took care of that! ;-) It was a life saver...otherwise, I wouldn't have given her a foot massage, which I usually love to do because I love getting them myself.

Enough of people aroma! %-0

The worst smell of my early memory is Play Doh! That's why I stopped playing with it. I don't like the smell of freshly laid asphalt, either. It's worse in summertime than any other time of the year.

On the bright side, my favorite fragrance is my favorite perfume called Maja, from Spain. It was in the collection of my late favorite aunt, along with Chanel No. 5, which I also like, among others. But I like Maja best, after all these years. And I'm not even a perfume person unless I go out somewhere special, which isn't often.

I think the best smells are from food. :-) From food you love to eat!

My apartment sometimes smells like an international kitchen. When I first arrived nearly four years ago, it smelled like Chinese food on the first floor, Indian food on the second floor, and pizza on the third floor! I was so tempted to knock on their doors and ask what they were cooking because I was so hungry after unloading a Budget rental truck all day long--we're talking about moving STUFF from a three-bedroom house to a one-bedroom apt!

Probably good home-cooking aroma is closest to my heart. Homey Chinese food by my mom and family and relatives. Fresh seafood from my in-laws. Yummy!


I like to think of the good aromas, not the bad ones. That's one reason why I prefer winter over summer: you can't smell as much in winter! ;-D

******

YIN TO Yang

Some men live for a rose.
Some die for its scent.

No rose but withers, nor its scent lasts.

What does a man want from a woman?

Her face of rose?
Or her scent of a saint?

What is it
but her ways of Yin.

--Pwu Jean Lee

Cheers to the Moms of the World!

A mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart -- a heart so large that everybody's grief and everybody's joy found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

--Mark Twain

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my mother in-law, and all the moms of the world! :-)

Mom. Ma. Mama. Mommy. Mother. I've called my mom all those and still do, to this day. "Mother" is used least; I might use it jokingly, but to my ears it sounds too formal and lacks warmth. She has done everything for me that society expects of a mom: fed, clothed, washed, and nursed me back to health the numerous time I was sick. She was always there to open the door for me when I walked home from elementary school, and walked home from the bus stop during my junior and senior high school (although I was allowed to have a key to the house by 8th grade or so and let myself into the house).

My mom has a good listening ear and loves to chatter on the phone. Like me. ;-) She has such a huge heart for a small person. It seems a lot people rely on her...even people whom I'm sure she'd prefer they not rely upon her all the time. This must mean they trust her as someone whom they can confide their troubles to.

She has always done her best to cheer me up when I've been blue, she cheers with me when I've done well, gives me advice from time to time on matters big and small, and is probably, generally, concerned about her youngest daughter's health and well-being in more ways than I can fathom.

This is not to say we didn't have rough spots along the way. But thankfully, there haven't been too many of those. ;-) I admire my mom for who she is and for what she has done for her family, despite difficult circumstances. I think my mom is one of the few people in the world who doesn't have one mean bone in her body.

My mil (mother in-law) has always been Mom to me. I love her dearly, too! Like my mom, she has a huge heart and it seems to me that over the years, many of her friends and acquaintances rely on her good listening ear. I doubt she has one mean bone in her body, either. She has always been loving and kind towards me, from the day we met. She often gives of herself to others, whether they are in need or not. She's a great friend to me and to her own friends. I wouldn't want any other mother in-law! :-)

Moms are cool! I often find myself drawn towards women who are moms. I don't know if it's because I'm on the east coast and my mom is on the west coast, but I do have many friends and acquaintances who happen to be moms.

I think I am drawn to moms because I generally admire mothers. They do SO much! They are SO underappreciated! There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. To bear my own baby. But since that didn't quite work out, I decided to make my life's work "my baby". Bear other fruit, as hubby would say. I still admire moms and cute and cuddly babies. ;-)

I've heard of "bad" mothers and mothers in-law over the years from friends. I lucked out. Big time. ;-) Ones who badgered and belittled their daughters for not getting "A"s in all their classes, or who loudly bemoaned the fact they only had daughters, not sons. Or mothers in-law who were meddlesome, opinionated, and/or described as "the Iron Lady" (to put it mildly!). That's just a short list! Since I did not know these women and perhaps only met a few of them on a few brief encounters during my school years, I cannot relate.

I can however relate with those friends when they expressed--sometimes bitterly, the profound disappointment that their mothers conveyed to them in whatever they had done wrong. With Asian friends, the sense of shame was present, without a doubt. If there is anything negative to be said about our Asian mommies, it's that they have elevated the expression of disappointment into a look that says: how could you shame me/the family/yourself like this?, to an art form! %-0

The first time I experienced the gravity of my mother's disappointment was when I got in trouble in 3rd grade for talking when the teacher was talking. My best friend tried to get my attention--not once, but twice, to stop talking. The third time, my teacher said my name, and not in the most pleasant manner!

Uh oh! Busted!

I had to write: I will not talk in class when the teacher is talking, on one of those big, beige-colored and blue-lined papers and fill the whole page up. And have my parents sign it.

Drum roll, please...!

Of course, I went to my mom first. I tried to plead with her to pu-leeeze not let Daddy see it. I was all too aware of what he might do; I was afraid of him. Please?! But she just gave me The Look. She looked at the paper, and then looked at me. A few times over. It was The Look, alright. "Why? How could you do this? I'm very disappointed in you! I think you need to show this to your father."

Aww, shucks! It didn't work. It was more my mother's LOOK, than what she said, that pierced me. I can't explain it now, nor could I then, but I was thinking I was a pretty clever girl and thought I could wrap my pop around my fingers by being humorous in some bizarre way. I folded up the paper, then asked him, "Daddy! Can I have your autograph?"

HAHAHAHA! %-0

That didn't work either. WWIII broke out in the form of his fury. He was so angry the paper shook in his hands. He yelled and cussed me out for what seemed like forever, but was probably about 15 minutes or so, demanding I never do such a thing again.

Well, I didn't do that again: talking in class while the teacher was talking. However, in 7th grade, I got caught writing on the wall! Red-handed. A classmate who I knew since 4th grade and with whom I shared a mutual hatred of each other, made fun of my teeny-bopper poster of a pop star in my locker and all his friends laughed along with him. I was SO angry with him! So I wrote on the wall: "I hate W--- I-------!" when along came an older man with a shiny bald head.

He boomed: "YOUNG LADY! You erase that right now or I'll have the front office call your parents". So I did. Oooh! He was scary. He said he'd let me off the hook this time, but if he caught me again...sorry, Charlie!

So he spared me The Look from my mother and my father's wrath. But, boy oh boy, I paid for it the following year: that big, gruff, bald man became my math teacher in 8th grade!! And my mom, who never once missed a parent-teacher conference in all my 12 years of school, met with him, too. I was hoping he wouldn't fib on my grafitti job--hoping he'd forget because he was an old guy (such age discrimination on my part!), and I believe he never did since I was always present with my mom on those parent-teacher evenings.

Enough of my delinquency! That's another thing about my mom: she never missed a beat when it came to my education. There were many times, especially as I got older, that I wanted her not to attend those parent-teacher evenings. Most especially in high school! I even asked her once or twice if she wouldn't mind skipping the evening, to which she looked at me disapprovingly and replied, "Of course I'm going!" And then she and I would go to school--and my classmates and I would exchange knowing glances as if to say: yes, we are forced to be here with our mothers...this is most certainly torture of the highest order! time to be raked over the coals! the inquisition! you got a B? oh, too bad...so close to an A! try harder next time! %-0

Funny how the number of mothers dwindled as years passed on. It was the norm in elementary school for our moms to show up on those all-important parent-teacher evenings. Then slowly, through junior high and then senior high, the presence of moms lessened. However, die-hard moms like mine--and especially of my Asian classmates, never failed to show up! Let us all share in this evening of embarrassment and torture under the microscopic lenses of our mothers, while they gang up on us with our teachers! %-(

Now, of course, we can all say, our moms loved us so much! A mother's love can manifest in ways we may never understand! %-)

I try to call my mom every week to see how she is. She is the kind of mom who has to live forever. I told her that, too. "If I'm 100 years old, you have to live to be 100 and....years!" I want my mil to be around when I'm old, too!

Mothers are an integral part of my life. My mom. My mom in-law. My friends who've been like moms to me over the years. My friends who are moms. They are excellent role models as moms and as women, in general.

I love them and I need them! :-)

AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!%-D

Oh, pardon me! I just couldn't help myself!;-)

Wow! I did it! I got IT!

it is kicking the boards on the first attempt.

IT is my black belt--with my name on it, no less!

After 3 1/2 years of hard work and a range of emotions from tears of frustration to tears of elation, I finally have my black belt!

This is redemption for the years of p.e. trauma! I am the kid who was always always always picked last for a team, except for third grade, when I had a classmate who had a disability which caused his legs to be twisted, and resulted in his walking and running with great effort. He and I became silent partners and friends very quickly through the weekly torment of team picking.

I couldn't wait until the year when I didn't have to take p.e. anymore! Tenth grade: hurry up, please!

But what happened in 11th grade? I let my best friend talk me into taking a class called "Trimmercise": a workout class for girls only. Our teacher was the school's football coach who also coached the Sacramento Police Department's football team. We were a sorry bunch, for sure! Lift weights, push-ups, crunches, run around the building, across the field, and all over again. Sweat! Pant! I'm dying! Let's stop and chat like teenage girls do!

Halfway through the semester, we were burnt out. Tired of suffering. He tried coddling, threatening...anything to make us move! Poor man! He was outnumbered! What's a man to do when he's outnumbered by a class full of teenaged girls whose collective will is apparently greater than his?

Throw in the towel, dude! He gave up on us. Just do something, ladies, he told us! Yes, Mr. ?, we replied. We understand you need to keep your job. Well, we didn't say that last part, but we knew he'd rather be coaching football anyday.

I think my average grade in p.e. all through my school years was the one thing my parents forgave me for. Or was it, took pity upon me for? The first one sounds better! I did poorly in math classes, too, but I felt more obligated to math than I did to p.e.

What the heck was p.e. going to do for me besides make me suffer the taunts of my classmates week after week, year after year? From elementary school to junior high to high school? Or suffer the dismay of my teachers. How could anyone be so weak? One junior high teacher really made me feel like a freak, when she kept me after class on a few occasions. Yes, I know she was trying to help, but try telling that to a 13 year-old entering the throes of adolescence!%-(

In later years, I had no taste for anything athletic in nature. A friend cajoled me into accompanying her to her Jazzercise class, which she loved with a passion. When she asked me how I liked it, I felt I should be direct, as any true friend would.

So I paused, wanting to choose my words carefully, and replied, "I don't think it's for me. It's not my 'style'."

She looked at me as if I had lost my marbles. As if Jazzercise was the greatest thing since sliced bread! "What?" she exclaimed. "This is great! You get a terrific workout! You don't have any exercise activity--I thought you could benefit from this!" Sure, I could benefit from it, but it's not me.

To each her own!

Lo and behold, 3000 miles across the country and many years later, I happen to be attending a community fair when a man in a martial arts uniform approaches me and asks if I would like to put my name in for a drawing for a free month-long trial to try taekwondo? Sure! I always like to win something!;-)

I didn't hear anything for a few weeks, and then I got a letter from Mr. A at the ATA Black Belt Academy saying I won the drawing. Very cool! Fed right into my fantasies of being the woman who took care of the bad guys on those badly dubbed Kung Fu films from Hong Kong, that hubby and I used to watch in the wee hours of the morning on the Asian t.v. station out in the Bay Area in California.

After only two classes, I was hooked. I was infected with the ATA virus. Forever!;-D I blame my instructors because they are all so awesome! Particularly, you, Mr. J, since you spent the most time teaching me. I bet I made you work for your keep!;-)

This was unlike anything I ever experienced. And I loved and love it because it is very individual-oriented. You are not compared to anyone else. You don't have to worry about being picked last (!) on a team, yet you learn to work with others and develop respect and concern for others. A very positive environment.:-))

I wanted to do it for health/fitness and confidence. And I think those have been restored and continue to be improved. I've had many ailments throughout my lifetime, had a miscarriage and countless mishaps...but taekwondo has helped restore my confidence on many levels. I have a functioning body! I can defend myself! Don't mess with me!%-D

So I can't say enough thank you's to my instructors and classmates who have taught and continue to teach and encourage me in so many ways, and also to certain family members and friends around the country who've been there for me from the start. You're the best! :-))


Thank you! Merci! Gracias! Tesekkur ederim! Doh jeh!

Do it Again!

I did it! I broke the boards on the first try last night! Yay!

Now I just have to do it again Friday night. I'm GOING TO do it again Friday night. Be calm, be cool. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE. Get LOUD! I must remember this. I MUST remember this!

Kill all self doubt. Think positive!:-))

Please keep sending all your positive energy this way! Thank you to all who have and continue to do so, sending me your good wishes. I deeply appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.:-)

I wanna knock everybody's socks off!

AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!%-D

Breaking Boards!

How do you break a board?

You focus on your target(s). Use power! Speed! Use good techniques. And get loud so your potential target will be startled!%-0

If you're weak like me, then maybe you have to envision the board as a nemesis from your past to gain some energy: a horrible former co-worker or two! dirty, rotten ex-boyfriends! girls who tried to spread nasty rumors about a good friend of yours!

Or get mad! That's what a couple friends told me I was when I finally kicked THROUGH the board Thursday night; they could tell I was mad! Mad at myself, mainly. As in: how did I do it on the first try the previous week, but not that time? Very frustrating. I make my instructor work for his living!%-0

I just gotta give it my all on Tuesday and Friday. FOCUS. POWER. SPEED. GOOD TECHNIQUE.

I must remember this, I must remember this! I need to break the boards on Tuesday so I can promote on Friday for my black belt! Think positive!

I had a terrible time breaking boards last week. All week. Seemed to get worse instead of better.:-(

BUT, this is a new week!:-))

Please send me your positive energy, everybody!

I wanna knock everybody's socks off!

AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! %-D

Missing Uncle T & Auntie L

There is a void in my heart that cannot be filled by anyone but the person who just left it. And yet, he will always be in my heart.

How contradictory does that sound?

It's been almost a week since my Utimate Uncle's funeral...and I still get wet-eyed every time I think of him. The same thing happened when my beloved aunt passed away in '89. Except now, the pain is greater because they are now both gone. :-((

I have been to more funerals than I can count with my fingers, since I was five years old. Grandparents, relatives, and friends. The deaths of Auntie L and Uncle T have been among the most emotional funerals for me--and I daresay, my siblings, because they were SO much a part of my life. They were ONE. An awesome couple. Action-oriented! Achievement-oriented! A +++++++ extraordinary cooks! They had an ample supply of love for both sides of their families and friends!

I cannot sing enough praises about them nor will I ever want to stop . It just seemed they did everything together. But they also did a lot on their own. Life without them definitely won't be the same. What's Christmas without them?

When the slide show was presented at the closing of the funeral service for Uncle T, it was almost unbearable. There were some great photos, especially of his youthful days, yet all the memories came flowing back into my mind in a flood. And my salty tears flooded down my already wet face.

This is really the first time in my youthful life (!) that I have felt a real, deep loss. Not that the losses of my grandparents, relatives and friends were not important. Not by any means. Only that my beloved uncle and aunt were such an integral part of my life from the time I was a baby. Before I even knew who they were.

It is a strange feeling to feel an aching emptiness. That two people who were so much a part of my life are no longer here. I can't reach out to touch them. Hug them. Kiss them. Call them up. Or write them a letter. It's a terrible ache. Where are you two?

When Auntie L passed, I had many dreams about her. That she came back into our lives. And that we would have to let her go back to sleep again each evening. :-( I dreamed this for many years. She still "visits" me in very vivid dreams from time to time. With Uncle T, I hear his voice in my head, now. Possibly a reminder to me to strive for excellence in both personal and professional pursuits? I believe there can be no better person to emulate. :-)

This April 18 would have been their 71st wedding anniversary. Wow. :-) Our great loss is their great gain: they are together again. Forever. And forever they will remain in my heart.

Auntie L and Uncle T: I can think of few other people who have so consistently demonstrated their love to others in all the possible ways that love can be shown, as you two did, in my time knowing you. Most importantly, I saw how you loved each other. That, in and of itself, was the greatest gift you gave to me.

********

Sonnet from the Portuguese XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and Ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

--Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1806-61